Hey!
So this is the next chapter, it's not very long but it'll do the job I guess.
Note that I'm very busy lately and I've lost a bit of inspiration because of it… so I might not post the next chapter as soon as I said I would. It might take some time, I'm sorry about that.
But in the end, it's just so my chapters are better and I don't rush to write them, which wouldn't make them as good as I want them to be.
Anyways, enjoy this one and I hope you like it! Don't forget to leave a review.
Billy was sleeping.
He had been for the last ten hours, his arm resting on Sarah's once relaxed body, which had been tensed for thirty minutes now as she watched him dreaming. She had intended to go back to sleep, but she couldn't close her eyes. She couldn't stop looking at him, wondering how in the world this could have happened, and why she had let it happen.
But for the most part, she was just wondering why the hell he was still there.
She was expecting to wake up to an empty bed, but no, he was here, still sleeping, at 11h30 in the morning.
Sarah slowly shifted to the side, trying not to wake him. She knew she should wake him up soon, but she didn't think it was necessary to do it now, and honestly, she was scared to do so. How would he react to waking up next to her? Would he regret it? Would he just leave and pretend it didn't happen? Would he try to do it again…?
Sarah rolled her eyes at her own stupidity and proceeded in holding Billy's arm softly to push it off of her.
Seriously though, morning sex didn't seem like a good idea. She still felt sore of the previous night and she had a rather important pain between her legs she could hardly ignore.
Sarah shook her head and crawled out of bed soundly, turning around to notice in satisfaction that the gangbanger was still asleep and hadn't moved expect for the arm now resting on the bed where she had been. She stayed there a moment, wondering how a cocky hothead, as dangerous and irritating as Billy was, could be so cute and soft when he slept. She smirked and shook her head before walking around the room to find some clothes to wear. She took out a pair of grey sweat pants, a black wife beater and cleaned underwear and walked out of the room to enter the bathroom where she took a quick shower. She took exceptionally only twenty minutes to change her bandages and brushed her teeth happily, satisfied with her new record.
She dried her hair and put on what she had picked before taking out a new toothbrush and placing it on the counter. She stared at it for a second, then took out perfectly folded towel and placed it underneath it. She glanced at herself in the mirror, than back at the items, thinking Billy would probably say it was stupid and unnecessary, but she just shrugged and walked out of the bathroom, bumping in Billy as she did so. She lifted her head up to meet his eyes shyly, unsure of what she would find in them. Billy seemed groggy and she could tell he had just woken up, but he still managed to raise an eyebrow at her with his usual questioning look.
"Hi," she said in a tiny voice, passing a hand in her still almost wet hair. Billy instinctively sniffed to smell the perfume of the shampoo: Watermelon. He smirked and nodded as a salutation.
"You should'a told me you were takin' a shower, I would'a join," he commented and Sarah couldn't help but smile. She looked down at him and noticed he was still completely naked, which got her to blush. Billy's smirk grew wider and he took a step closer towards her, squeezing her between him and the wall once again. He kissed the side of her face gently before going for her neck, burying his face in her hair at the same time. Sarah tried to keep her head straight but she could only concentrate on Billy's finger sliding between her sweat pants and her skin, silently stating it was an unnecessary piece of clothing. She also couldn't fail to notice that even if Billy was still half asleep, that didn't mean some parts of his body weren't fully awake…
"I didn't want to wake you up," she explained, shivering as Billy's hand was now pulling up her shirt to touch the skin underneath it.
"I'm awake now," he commented, talking the words slowly in Sarah's ear. She laughed shyly and managed to set a fair space between them by taking even less place between the wall and him.
"I, um, I'll be making breakfast," Sarah said between two very difficult breathes. Billy grunted and leaned back, looking upset. She did her best to smile at him and finally walked around him, heading for the stairs. He rolled his eyes and entered the bathroom where she had been a couple of minutes ago, finding a brand new tooth brush and a clean towel waiting for him. He closed the door behind him as he shook his head. As stupid and unnecessary as he thought that was, he actually found himself liking it. He could get used to this.
Billy entered the shower as Sarah reached the kitchen. She took out the frying pan and placed it on the top of the oven. She passed a hand through her hair, thinking she shouldn't let them down if she was going to cook. So she left the kitchen to go back upstairs to look for something for her hair band. Entering the room, she went directly for her dresser but stopped walking when she heard a buzzing noise. She turned around; wondering where it came from and what it was. She finally spotted where the sound was coming from and walked towards what seemed like Billy's jeans.
Sarah hesitated a second, then decided she wasn't doing anything wrong just checking who it was. She reached for the phone in Billy's pocket and took it out slowly, glancing at the door to make sure he wasn't there. Seeing no one, she looked back at the phone and flipped it open. The screen read: Three missed calls. Sarah clicked on it for more details and learned that the first one was from Bodie, the second from Joe, and the last one from Megan a couple of seconds ago. Sarah couldn't help but grunt as she read the girl's name but continued her investigation when she saw he also had a new text message from last night, approximately at the moment when her and Billy had gotten together. She opened it and read with a frown.
Where r u? U were supposed 2 b there 2night! miss u. xx –M
Sarah closed the phone with a sigh and placed it back in Billy's pocket. While her and Billy were having sex, Megan had texted him to ask where he was because he was supposed to be with her. Just now, she had called him while in was in her shower, where he had basically asked her to join him. How fucked up was that?
She didn't especially like Megan, but this was maybe a little too much. It was definitely a line she had never crossed, and she wasn't sure if she was comfortable doing it. But it was done already. She had cheated on David; Billy had cheated on Megan, whatever their relationship might have been.
Sarah went back to the kitchen while Billy finished his shower. He was taking his time, knowing when he came out, he had to face her. She seemed distant, and he was a little scared he might have pushed her into something she didn't really want. He had wanted it, that's for sure, and it seemed like she had enjoyed it, but today was another day, and he couldn't help but wonder if she would see all this as a mistake.
But apart from all that, he was also taking his time just because he had a boner and he had to calm the fuck down.
Fifteen minutes later (one of the longest showers he had ever taken alone), Billy came out of the shower, brushed his teeth with that new toothbrush of his and went back in Sarah's bedroom to get dressed. Jogging down the stairs, he checked his phone, noticing his three missed calls and his text message, unaware he wasn't the first person to see them. He flipped the phone shut when he entered the kitchen that smelled of butter and sugar.
Sarah turned to him when he came in, her hair now in a ponytail with a plate full of pancakes in her hands.
"I made pancakes, I hope that's okay?" she asked, placing the plate down on the table. Billy stayed in the frame of the door for a couple of seconds in disbelief. He hadn't had pancakes in years. He couldn't even remember the last time he ate those.
Wait, no, he did. He knew perfectly well when he had eaten pancakes for the last time: the last day he had spent with his mother. After that, he would just eat whatever he could find, and it was still like that nowadays.
Sarah wasn't moving, waiting for him to say something, and he finally lifted his eyes back up to meet hers, waking up from his memory.
"Yeah, pancakes' good," he agreed with a nod, which got Sarah to smile in satisfaction. She pointed towards a chair, asking him to sit, and he did before she sat in front of him. They stayed silent while they served themselves and started eating awkwardly. Billy was looking at her with a strange expression and Sarah couldn't even lift her eyes up of her plate. After a very long moment, Billy rolled his eyes and dropped his fork on his plate with force.
"This is bullshit," he stated at the weird situation. Sarah finally looked at him and placed her own fork down gently.
"Sorry, I'm not a very good cook," she apologized in a small voice. Billy stared at her in disbelief and leaned forward to face her.
"I ain't talkin' about the pancakes, Sarah," he replied, trying to control his voice, but it was clear he was getting irritated.
Of course she knew he wasn't talking about the food, but she had somehow wished he did. They wouldn't have to talk about this if it had been the case.
"Then what are you talking about?" she asked in a louder voice.
"You. Why are you acting all… like this?" he tried to explain, but failed miserably as Sarah raised an eyebrow.
Sarah sighed and leaned back to stare at him from further. He seemed tired even if he had slept for ten hours. He looked stressed, angry, but mostly he looked scared.
"How am I acting? I'm just eating, Billy."
Billy's jaw clenched as he stared at her from across the table. He didn't know if she really didn't understand what he meant or if she was just playing with him. She was hard to figure out.
"You're scared," he concluded after a moment when he realized it was, unfortunately, obvious that that's what it was. She was scared of him now, for some reason he couldn't understand. She had never been scared of him before.
"I'm not-"
"Yeah, you are."
Sarah sighed in desperation and stood up from her chair, clearly in the process of leaving.
"Oh, hell no, you're not fucking leavin'," he ordered, standing up as well. Sarah ignored him and took her half-empty plate, heading for the sink. She passed by him and he blocked her way.
"Billy, I'm tired of fighting with you," she sighed.
"Yeah, well me too, pretty. So stop fucking fighting with me," he spat harder than he had intended. He took the plate from her hand and placed it on the table next to him while she sighed again.
"Well, If you weren't being a dick all the time, maybe I wouldn't have to," she replied, raising her hands in the air in a exasperate manner.
Billy shook his head, obviously disagreeing with her statement. He licked his lips quickly, trying not to explode in her face, which was soon to be happening if they continued arguing like they always did. Sarah noticed his attitude and got the message immediately.
"Maybe this is just wrong," she said, speaking calmly. She was once again trying to explain something without looking at him, and that rarely worked. She stared at his chest, afraid to see his reaction.
"What do you mean?" he asked in a low voice as well, but his wasn't shaking like hers.
"I don't even know why I'm with you," she explained, and she could see Billy's figure stiff as she talked. He clenched his teeth, trying to stay calm as much as he could, but it was only a matter of time before hell broke loose. "All you ever do is hurt me."
"I don't do it on purpose," he defended in a low voice, though she could tell he wasn't as calm as he pretended to be.
"That's not the point," she replied, looking up at him. Billy's eyes were piercing through her but he didn't seem angry anymore. "You lied. You said you wouldn't hurt me, but you did, Billy, and I'm tired of always trying to justify what you do when it has bad repercussions on me," she explained again, holding his stare for the first time since the night before. Somehow it was getting harder every time.
"I like you, alright? But maybe that's just not enough," she concluded.
"Or maybe you just don't like me enough," he corrected sternly, breathing deeply as he watched her try to break whatever thing they might have found between them. He didn't understand why it upset him so much to see all this fall apart, but he sure as hell didn't like it. "Maybe you took the whole Megan shit as an excuse to bail on me 'cause you realized this ain't what you want and you was too scared to admit it."
"This is what I wanted! As stupid as it might be, I actually wanted to be with you, Billy!" Sarah exclaimed, raising her hands in the air once again. She laughed sadly, realizing she was saying what she felt to Billy's face and she didn't even know if she was ready for it. "I rejected you that night because I was scared you would run off when you saw my scars. I heard you slept around and that you could get any girl that you wanted, so I knew you wouldn't waste your time on me," she continued as he listened carefully.
"That's bullshit," he repeated.
"That's how I feel," Sarah replied, truly hurt that he would say such thing after she explained herself to him.
"No, I mean," Billy tried to defend with a sigh, once again saying something the wrong way. "I ain't wasting my time when I'm with you," he corrected in a serious tone.
"Don't say things you don't mean," was all she could say, unable to believe he could be so honest and nice all of a sudden.
"I'm not. Sarah, I don't give a shit about your scars! You look beautiful with or without 'em, so stop," he announced, and Sarah could hardly believe what he had just said.
Beautiful? Had Billy just really said that? The word seemed so weird in his mouth, but somehow it felt just right to be hearing it from him.
"Stop hiding yourself thinkin' people'll stop talkin' to you 'cause you're different, that's bullshit. It'll all about being different. And that's what I like 'bout you."
Silence overtook them after saying so many things they had been too scared to admit. Billy was horrified at himself for being too honest and actually saying something nice, being all touchy and emotional. Ugh, just the thought of it made him cringe. But when he saw the little light that it created in Sarah' eyes, he almost forgot about it. Sarah had those eyes, a normal colour that usually went unnoticed, but they said everything. You could see everything she was feeling just by looking at them. And right now, she was confused, but somewhat happy as well.
"You really don't mind it?" she asked shyly, once again looking down at his chest.
"No," he confirmed in a tone that left no room for discussion. Sarah lifted her eyes up to him and he nodded towards her, making sure she had gotten what he said. She nodded to tell him she did and he seemed satisfied. "I kinda like it, actually," he added in a small voice Sarah had never heard him use. She raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't help but crack a smile.
"What?"
"I don't know, it's kinda sexy. Like you're a tough girl or somethin'," he explained, though he didn't seem sure himself what he was talking about. Sarah chuckled and shook her head as she watched him be uncomfortable, feeling like she was giving him a payback, since he always made her uncomfortable.
"I am a tough girl," she agreed, and Billy smirked.
"That right?"
Sarah nodded with a smile as Billy raised an eyebrow, still smirking. They both chuckled and didn't say anything, not knowing what to do next. After all this, they didn't even know what they could do.
"So, what do we do now?" Sarah asked after a moment where they had more serious again.
"I know what I wanna do," Billy stated, smiling slyly towards her. Sarah watched his face as he took one last step towards her and brought his lips to hers, explaining what he had meant without having to use any words.
They kissed for a short time before Billy was already pulling up her shirt, pushing her backwards towards the nearest place where they could lie down, which this time happened to be the couch.
And the whole time, Sarah wasn't thinking of anything again. All she could think of was Billy, Billy's chest, Billy's hands, Billy's voice, Billy's kisses, oh and Billy's underwear… But what she should have been thinking is that when you're making a mistake, it sometimes gets hard to go back and pick the right decisions instead of the bad ones. But it's even harder when you don't know you're making a mistake, and you keep repeating it over and over again.
And this was, somehow, a very big mistake.
[…]
"Dude, this shit is good."
Sarah turned to Emily with a grin and took her milkshake from her friend's hand. They had been shopping for the most part of the day, had went back to Emily's place, and were now walking around the neighborhood - which wasn't the best idea they had ever had, but they had nothing else to do.
"Like you've never tasted a milkshake before," Sarah commented, taking a sip of the drink by the straw.
"Not strawberry! I always take chocolate," she explained, and Sarah shook her head, laughing.
"You learn so much when you hang out with me," she laughed before Emily playfully hit her on the shoulder.
"Hey, careful, I've been shot, remember?" she joked towards her friend who rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, keep saying that," she said, getting Sarah to laugh. "When you get this arm free, I'll kick your ass so hard you're gonna wish you got shot in both arms," she warned with a hard face, but it was clear she was joking and Sarah laughed harder.
"Please, I could beat you on a wheelchair," she challenged, waving her milkshake towards Emily with the little ghetto attitude she had.
"Oh, you ghetto now?" Emily laughed when she noticed the gesture. The two girls both laughed as they reached the end of the street and ended up facing a very familiar bar. Their smile fell off of their faces and they turned to each other in hesitation.
"You want to go back?" Sarah asked her friend in hesitation, also wondering if she, herself, wanted to go back to Emily's place right away. Night was falling and she wasn't sure if she was comfortable staying out in this part of town.
"Nah, it's just the Roses, it's not like I haven't spent all my fucking time here," Emily joked, but there was a very small quantity of amusement in her voice and Sarah didn't fail to notice it. The brown haired girl took the milkshake from her friend's hand and started playing with the straw absently.
"Listen, Em, I gotta tell you something," she started, biting on her lip. Emily turned to her with a raised eyebrow and a clear worried look on her face. Sarah had the same look David had had when he had come home one day and had tried explaining to their dad that he had had a little problem with the car (the front was ripped after he had driven directly in a pole) aka the face you did when you were about to admit some nasty shit.
"What have you done again?" Emily worried, taking a sip of the milkshake.
"I hooked up with Billy."
Emily coughed, spitting the liquid on the floor as she heard the shocking news. She didn't speak, and instead just raised her head to meet Sarah's eyes, her own being wide opened in disbelief. Sarah tried to smile but Emily's burning stare was too hard, so she just dropped it and jumped to explanations.
"I didn't mean it to happen, ok? But he just broke into my house and he just… I could tell he felt bad, and he apologized for what he did, and, and he told me he cared for me, Em, and I really didn't want it to happen, but he was being all mysterious, and he was saying all these things, and… and then he took off his shirt, what was I supposed to do?" she ranted, trying to justify her actions while Emily just stared at her in disbelief.
"So you fucked him?" Emily spoke for the first time.
"Yes."
"How many times?" Emily asked again, clearly trying to control her emotions, but it was obvious she was boiling inside. Sarah hesitated and passed a nervous and through her hair.
"Five. We had sex five times," she confessed, breathing with difficulty. Emily's jaw dropped in shock.
"Five times? How-What-How the hell did you manage to do that? Did you like, fuck non-stop the whole night long or what?" she exclaimed, unable to believe two people could have sex five times during the same night.
"No! We-He stayed for the weekend," Sarah explained. Emily raised an eyebrow, stating she couldn't understand how that could happen with Sarah's parents in the house. "My parents were gone for three days and he just… he would stay with me whenever he had a free time. When he wasn't working and stuff."
"Billy? Billy Darley?" Emily asked, more speaking to herself than to Sarah.
"Yeah, Billy. Wasn't it you who told me I should get with him or something?" she tried, waving a hand in the hair.
"That was before all the shit, Sarah. Before the Joe thing, the Megan thing and the shooting thing," Emily spat before she let go of a deep sigh. "Jesus, Sarah."
"I know its wrong… but it's so right…"
Emily shook her head in disappointment, and Sarah tried to smile once again, this time succeeding. The other rolled her eyes and dropped the milkshake in a garbage can near where they were standing.
"What about my brother?" Emily asked after she had turned back to Sarah.
"I don't know, Em, I really have no idea what I'm gonna do right now. I mean, David's such a nice guy, maybe he just deserves better than a girl like me," she spoke, looking at her feet. She could hardly look at herself in the mirror knowing what she had done; she could even less see herself talking to David. She knew maybe the best thing to do was to break up with him because after all that, he wouldn't even want to be with her anyway. But on the other hand, maybe it wasn't worth it to end something that was so right for something that was so wrong. Maybe her thing with Billy wouldn't even last.
"What'd Billy say?" Emily asked again. She didn't want to expose her opinion before she knew everything there was to know about the situation.
"That's the thing," Sarah started with a sigh. "He asked me to come to the bar next week… all the guys will be there."
"You ready for that?"
After all, she hadn't seen any of them expect for Joe and Billy since the shooting, and she didn't know how she would react to it. It would probably be awkward and Sarah didn't think she really wanted to go.
"Don't know," was all she said, looking around to the dark streets. "I want you to come with me," she added in the same tone, turning to Emily. The other scoffed and shook her head.
"No fucking way."
"Aw, come on, you can't let me go there alone!" Sarah exclaimed, waving her available hand in the air once again.
"The hell I can't! I dumped Tommy, remember? Because he shot you! Maybe you like playing this game, but I don't!" Emily defended, raising her voice towards her friend.
"Oh, please! You started playing this game the second you stepped foot into their lives! Don't tell me you just learned who they were, you knew it perfectly well and you were fucking fine with it, so don't start bullshiting about doing the right thing!" Sarah spat right back, also speaking rather loudly. Emily shook her head and breathed deeply, trying to control her anger. Sarah sighed and scrubbed her face with her hand.
"Please, Emily, I know you miss him. Just talk to him, it doesn't mean you have to get back together," Sarah pleaded in a softer voice, which also soften Emily's features. She sighed as well and shook her head in disappointment at what she was going to say.
"Fine, I'll come with you," she agreed in a small voice. Sarah's eyes immediately lightened up and she smiled widely at her friend.
"Really? Aw, Em, you're the best!" she complimented, embracing her in a tight hug. Emily hugged her back but soon stepped away, still not looking very pleased.
"Yeah, whatever."
Sarah chuckled, but she jumped when she heard the familiar rumble of a car. She turned to Emily whose eyes had widened in surprise.
Sarah hadn't planned on seeing Billy so shortly after spending the weekend with him and Emily sure as hell wasn't ready to face her ex-boyfriend, so they both agreed on the same thing just by looking at each other.
"Let's get the fuck outta here."
Sarah nodded and they both turned around to start walking towards Emily's apartment.
[…]
"Hey man, isn't that Sarah?" Bodie asked his leader from the passenger's seat of his mustang. Billy turned to his friend with a raised eyebrow and the black man pointed to his window. "Right there, across the street."
Billy lowered his head and his eyes landed on the girl's thin figure as she walked quickly with someone else, Emily as it seemed. He lowered his speed and watched them jog away, biting in his half-smoked cigarette.
"Told her not to fuckin' walk alone in those streets," he mumbled, getting his cigarette to dance between his lips. Bodie chuckled and turned back to Billy.
"You know that girl never listens t'what ya say," he commented with a smirk, and Billy just sent him a death glare before going back to the road. He watched the two other boys in the back of the car in the rear-view mirror and his eyes landed on one who was deeply looking out the window with a sad face. Bodie followed his gaze and he turned around to speak to Tommy.
"Chill, man. You'll get ya girl back," he promised his friend with a nod. Tommy locked eyes with Bodie and shook his head.
"I donno man. She got a boyfriend," Tommy spoke in a low voice, looking out the window again.
"No she doesn't," Billy disagreed without looking at any of them. They both turned to him with wondering expressions.
"How d'ya know that?" Tommy asked, getting interested.
"Personal sources," was all Billy said, and Tommy and Bodie locked eyes with a raised eyebrow before a light seemed to open in their mind. They both smirked and turned back to Billy.
"Personal sources, huh?" Bodie teased, hitting playfully the driver. It was Billy's turn to smirk and he glanced at his right hand, giving him a knowing look. "Oh, you didn't."
Billy's smirk grew wider as he also glanced at Tommy from the rear-view mirror once again while the other nodded in agreement.
"Didn't what?" Baggy asked, having only followed half of the conversation. Bodie laughed as Tommy tried to give Baggy clear explanations by making some rather rude movements with his arms. Baggy raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "The fuck you talkin' 'bout?"
"Damn it, Baggy," Tommy sighed as he dropped any attempt of getting him to understand this way. "Billy finally set the deal, bro."
"What deal?" Baggy asked, still not getting anything.
"You're one dumb motherfucker, man," Bodie commented, shaking his head from left to right. Billy chuckled as Tommy laughed and the car finally parked in the bar's parking lot.
"Now I've got some deals to set tonight as well," Bodie added as he got of the car. The guys laughed and walked towards to front door, ready to celebrate the news.
And that's how you do business.
Thanks for reading! Leave a review =)