Sorry this chapter took a little longer than I expected. I had an original idea of how I wanted this chapter to turn out, but as I began writing, it started to change my original idea a bit...so I was trying to figure out the best way to do it. Anyways, now you finally get to find out if Chuck regrets being with Blair!

First off, thank you for all of the amazing reviews, I'm glad there's still interest in this story! And I also just wanted to say this, since the review was anonymous, Lily, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through that.

I read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes...I'm sorry!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters...if I did, Chuck wouldn't have told Blair it was just a game and would have told her he loves her. Though at the same time, you can't help but love the fact that in his own way, he's being sweet, he's wanting to do what's best for her, since he thinks he can't make her happy [so untrue, might I add, and he so needs to tell her]. Back to the point..I don't own GG.

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Chapter 14

Chuck looked at her ambivalently, his mouth set in a hard line.

"You regret us being together that night," she repeated, this time as a statement, not as a question.

"Blair," he began, but she cut him off.

"No!" she shrieked, her emotions making her lose control completely, as she roughly used the back of her hand to wipe her fallen tears off her cheeks.

"Blair," he tried again, searching her face, trying to figure out how to make her understand. When she didn't interrupt him, he took that as a good sign. "Do I regret being with you? No. Do I regret us sleeping together? Yes," he said quietly, carefully watching her face for her reaction.

She didn't know what he was trying to say, and it wasn't helping her calm down any. As much as she suddenly wanted to be emotionless, to make this hurt less, she couldn't. It all hurt. Everything hurt. Because of the baby, and now because of Chuck. And he wasn't even making any sense. He doesn't regret being with her, but regrets them sleeping together. It wasn't making sense to Blair.

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked as anger and slight confusion crossed her delicate features.

"It means," Chuck began, his voice more controlled, more soft now. "That this, whatever we are, I like being with you. I don't regret getting to be with you," he explained, and he seen her features soften slightly, only a hint of confusion remaining, so he continued. "But I do regret that I slept with you that night, Blair, and I'm sorry that I did."

Blair became angry at his last words, saying he was sorry for sleeping with her. He had wanted it, she hadn't imagined that. He had been all to pleased, although surprised, when she had suddenly straddled him that night. He had also said he hadn't been with anyone since her, and they hadn't been together like that in months, so there's no way he could have been unhappy finally being able to. He had said she was enough, but maybe she really wasn't. Maybe this was all some twisted game to him.

"Enough with the games, Chuck," she managed to choke out with a hint of venom laced in her voice as she blinked to fight back more tears. "Either you want me, or you don't, and either I'm enough for you, or I'm not. So which is it?" she asked, but her voice cracked at the end, giving her away.

Chuck froze, realizing what his words were doing to Blair. Although he hadn't meant to hurt her with his words, he realized now that he was making her question everything. Herself, her self-worth, him, and his feelings for her. He silently cursed himself for yet again hurting her.

"I regret sleeping with you. Not because I didn't want to. I regret not saying no, because if I hadn't slept with you, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe then...you wouldn't have lost the baby," he spoke quietly, looking up into her eyes.

"Just say it, Chuck! Say you blame me for losing the baby," she fumed, overcome with a sudden wave of rage. She felt guilty, and she already blamed herself. She knew it was her fault, and she knew he must feel that way, too. She wanted him to just admit it already.

"I don't blame you," he said quietly with a hint of sternness, his eyes never leaving hers. After a second, he quickly looked down at his hands, and spoke. "I blame myself."

"Wha -- what?" Blair stuttered, her eyes focused intently on Chuck. She didn't understand how he could be blaming himself. She was the one who lost the baby. It was her fault. "How can you possibly be thinking this is your fault?"

"Because I slept with you!" his voice rose, and he quickly stood to his feet at the foot of the bed. "If I wasn't such a selfish ass, if I had just said no to you, then maybe everything would be okay right now. Maybe you would be okay right now. You're hurting because of me, Blair. I did this," he said in a slightly lower tone.

As bad as Blair felt for Chuck, for not only losing his child, but now finding out that he blamed himself for what happened, her emotions were still all over the place, and she was lashing out, whether she wanted to or not. Her emotions had taken over every part of her being, since she found out about the baby, the time has felt like nothing but a blur.

"What you're doing now is what's hurting me, Chuck. You're blaming yourself. You regret something that I was happy about -- I was happy that we slept together. I was happy about that, Chuck," she told him in a shrill and saddened voice.

Chuck paused, his eyes slightly pained. No matter what, he always hurt her. No matter what, he always made her unhappy. It wasn't fair to her. He couldn't make her happy, and he couldn't seem to stop hurting her. "It seems that as much as I love you, I keep hurting you some way or another. All of this is my doing," he stated dejectedly.

Blair was astounded at what she had just heard. She must have heard wrong. There was no way Chuck Bass would say those words to her, those words she had been waiting to hear for so long. He wouldn't express his feelings that way, he just wouldn't. "What did you just say?" she asked, disbelief clouding her thoughts.

Chuck stopped mid-thought, pursing his lips and thought back to what he had just said. 'It seems that as much as I love you...'. He hadn't meant to say that, he hadn't even realized he had said it. It had slipped out in a moment of thoughtlessness. None the less, however, it was true. He had never brought himself to say those words to her before, but that never made them any less true. In fact, he had been hoping to be able to tell her those words at some point in the near future, but he had been unable to figure out how. He accused himself of being a coward lacking courage. He already knew how she felt, yet he still hadn't been able to say the words to her.

He let out a sigh, realizing that despite the un-ideal timing, it was better it finally came out now. Besides, when was anything concerning their relationship ideal, or perfectly timed. He exhaled loudly, trying to gain the courage he needed. "I said I love you, Blair."

Her head spun. He couldn't be serious. Or maybe she was dreaming, or maybe she truly has lost her mind. There's no way he could possibly mean that. She wouldn't allow herself to believe that. "No, Bass, you don't," she said in a stern accusing whisper.

"Yes, Waldorf, I do," he said with conviction in his voice, his eyes locked on hers.

"No, you don't," she said again. "I must be dreaming..." she muttered to herself.

Chuck took three long strides to kneel in front of her by the bed, their faces now on the same level and only inches apart. "You're not dreaming. I didn't mean to tell you like this, but I mean it, Blair," he paused. "I do love you," he spoke softly, his eyes roaming every inch of her face, taking this moment into memory.

After getting no response from Blair, aside from a few single tears sliding down her porcelain cheeks due to being in shock and disbelief, Chuck spoke again in a whisper. "I hate seeing you this unhappy, and in this much pain. And I hate knowing that I'm the cause of all of it...that I'm the reason you're hurting."

This finally caused Blair to speak. "You - you're not the reason. The reason is that I lost the baby. That I'm that much of a failure, and that...I'm not enough good enough to do that, to even carry a baby. And I hate knowing that I hurt you by losing the baby, by losing...what family you had left..." she trailed off in a whisper, as a feeling of self-loathing crept in.

"I have you," he said as he reached his hand up to place it over hers, which sat on top of the blanket she had around her, scunching the fabric into her small fist.

"I'm a mess, Chuck," she told him in a shaky breath, as though that was reason enough that he should want nothing to do with her.

"So am I. And when I was a mess after my father's funeral," he explained, wincing at the memory and the pain that accompanied it, "you took care of me. Now I'm going to take care of you," he told her without hesitation, even though he had no idea in hell how to even begin to take care of her. It was out of his comfort zone, but he would be damned if he sat around and did nothing to help her.

"And why would you do that?" she asked, her eyes staring intently into his.

"Because I love you," he told her again, much like she had the day she spoke those same words to him.

At his words, more tears welled up in Blair's chocolate brown eyes. Chuck wasn't sure if they were tears of sorrow again, or also due to some form of happiness from his confession, if one could be happy in any way shape or form in a situation like this. But he decided he was going to start trying to take care of her, to be what she needs. He just told her he would, and he was going to live up to his promise, for Blair.

So he climbed onto the bed to lay behind her, pulling her back towards his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around her frail shaking frame.

They lay like that for an immesurable amount of time, neither were sure how long. It may have been minutes that passed, or even hours. Both lay there deep in thought, and being somewhat comforted by the other's presence.

"I want my baby..." Blair's voice cut through the silence, sadness lingering in her voice and her eyes.

Blair wanted her baby. And so did Chuck, but they both knew that wasn't possible.

It seems as though I've finally gotten the dish on our Queen. Though she may want to order a second dish. What's the matter, B, didn't want anyone to know you were eating for two? Who's the daddy, B? Would it be the brooding Bass, your dark prince? Or former white knight Nate?

xoxo,
-Gossip Girl

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Uh oh..so now Gossip Girl found out about the pregnancy...except obviously she didn't find out about the miscarriage. Just a little side note quick, too...if you're feeling that Blair's all over the place, and being vulnerable one minute, then just...angry and lashing out, and wanting to protect herself the next...that's not due to my indecision or lack of continuity with the characters feelings...it's just that, well, right now, as Blair said, she's a mess, so she's all over the place, so are her thoughts and feelings. Also...please don't be too disappointed about Blair's lack of response to Chuck's "I love you"! Like I said, she's all over the place right now, so...it just wasn't fitting for her to have much of a response, she was too shocked and has too much going on. Don't worry, though, that issue will definitely be brought back into focus later on.

Coming up...how will Blair and Chuck, along with others react to the latest Gossip Girl blast? Will Chuck open up more about everything that's going on? And hmm...is Chuck planning something?

Pretty please review and let me know what you thought! I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment. And remember...reviews encourage and motivate me to write faster..and the faster I write, the faster you find out how everyone will react to the GG blast =b.