Disclaimer : I do not own any character of (The Last of Us) TLOU is owned by Naughty Dog, but all the Oc character are from my invention.

Chapter 14 : Just Follow your heart

*Two days later*

Ellie wakes up first thing in the morning; she slept in the bed the night before, but not with Joel. She doesn't know why, but after she kissed Joel on the mouth, two nights before, she felt something weird. Not like she didn't want to do it; Ellie was happy now, to feel Joel's lips again... she even wants to feel all of him again. But after all this time, the only thing she's been seeing in her dreams are horrible things that happen to him. Now that it's all different, she needs to get all that out of her mind first. So after she kissed Joel, she just went back to sleep and didn't say anything. After that night, Joel hasn't mentioned or commented on anything either, about what's happened for the past two days. So now she needs to find out what Joel thinks about all that.

(Joel)

Shit! I didn't sleep well last night, thinking about what I'm going to do about Ellie's kiss. Does she want to talk about that, now? It's been two days since that happened, and she hasn't said anything, so I don't know what to do. She went back to sleep after she kissed me, so was that a mistake? It seems like she doesn't want to talk about that, or she's waiting for me to say something? C`mon, Joel, you are the adult here, and maybe that kiss was some kind of signal. Ellie says that she wants to start again, that she loves me... I'm sure I would like that. But how can I do this, because this is one of the reasons for me to get away from Jackson. I know that Ellie is not sixteen anymore, she's more adult now. But I don't know if that helps in this situation. The thing is that I`m 53 and she's 18. For God's sake, I could be her grandfather. I know that there's no law in this fucking world now, but is this a right thing to do? And that brings me back to the beginning - is this what she really wants, for us to be a couple? Yes, she kissed me that night, but after that, she's only talked about simple things. She doesn't mention the kiss, so what was that - a 'thank you' kiss? Or something more? Fuck! Why I never understand women, or Ellie - she is so complicated sometimes that I never know what is inside that head of hers. She just kissed me and that's it. What am I supposed to think about that? She hasn't even asked me to sleep in the bed again with her since yesterday. Well, maybe she's waiting for me to make the next step; I'm the adult here. Well, technically, she's an adult too, but I have the experience, so maybe she's waiting for that. Well, maybe it's better if I say something, or at least ask her why she kissed me? I think that maybe she needs some time to think about all this. But, I need to think of something to say, and fast. She's still in the room, so maybe I can go in there and talk to her and resolve all this... yeah, I think I can do that.

(Ellie)

After I woke up the next day, and looked at the other side of the bed, Joel wasn't there. I think that he went back to sleep on the couch after I went back to sleep that night, and the night after that. I don't know if that's freaking him out... he hasn't said anything to me after the kiss. Of course, we talk about other things, but not about the kiss. Oh God, feeling his body snuggled to me again, like he did so many times back in Jackson. Feeling his hands touching me again, he makes me feel so good and I just want to forget everything that's happened for the last two and a half years. I was just in there in the bed with him, feeling his touch, so I just turned my head and looked at him. He was there looking at me too, and seeing his face so close, I just couldn't resist. Well, I need to figure this out, so as soon as I change my sleeping clothing, I'll go down to the living room and wait for him. Poor Joel, maybe I should have asked last night to go to the bed, even if we do nothing in there. He's still recovering from his wounds and needs the bed more than me. Shit, I don't know what's wrong with me - first I'm mad at him, and a few weeks later, I want to sleep with him. And as soon as I get him in the bed with me, I kiss him. And after I did that, I just panicked... fuck, Ellie, you need to get your head clear. So as soon as I change, I'll go down to the living room and see Joel on the couch. He was lying there, but he was awake, so I'll order him to get to the bed and get some rest. Of course, he's going to protest, and say that he's fine, but I'm not going to take no for an answer. Before he went up to the bedroom, I told him that I was going to prepare something to eat, and that I was going to check his wounds later. So here I am, preparing all the things I need to attend his wound. I know that everything is going to be fine, so why am I trembling?

Then Ellie takes a deep breath and starts to walk up to the bedroom. As soon as she gets up there, she sees Joel standing in front of the window and looking outside.

"JOEL! What the hell are you doing? Didn't I tell you an hour ago to get some rest?" says Ellie as soon as she walks to the table on the side of the bed and puts the things she brought there.

"I think I had a good sleep on the couch" (lie) "so you don't need to worry-" Joel is interrupted.

"I don't care if you think that you're fine - just sit on the bed and take your shirt off. I need to change the bandages and check the wounds."

"Ellie, I'm better now, and I think that I can take care of myself, so you don't need-" Joel is interrupted again.

"Joel, I'm the nurse here, so it's better for you to do what I say. Because you don't want to see a pissed off nurse, do you?"

"Yes, ma'am!" says Joel while he moves close to the bed and starts to strip his shirt off.

Ellie just stands there looking at him while he gets out of his shirt and sits on the bed. Then Ellie proceeds to get close to him. Then she lowers herself and starts to take the old bandage off.

"You better be careful with that... it tickles," Joel says, trying to tease Ellie a little.

"Really!" says Ellie as she finishes taking the bandage off. "Okay, first let's check the stab wound."

Joel stays put as Ellie starts to check the wound in his arm first, where that Amber woman stabbed him with her knife. "Sooo… you're a nurse now?" says Joel, trying to start a conversation.

"Yup! And I can prove it, because Dr. Wilson gave me a paper that says that I'm a certified nurse," says Ellie with a proud voice.

"I want to see that - I don't want to be checked by an impostor, you know. I could end up worse than I was before. That way, I can sue you for malpractice," says Joel, teasing Ellie again.

"What the hell is a sue? And I'm not doing a malpractice, or whatever that shit is. The doctor said I was the best," answers Ellie while she continues to check him.

"Really! I need to see that paper, then."

"Are you doubting me? Anyway, I can't show you that. I left that paper in my room in Jackson."

"Ha,ha,ha, Ellie, it's okay, I was just joking around. I know how good you are, and you don't need any paper for people to know that," says Joel, smiling.

"I know you do, you ass. Well, your arm is good: no infection and the wound is healing fine, so your arm is going to be good as new, probably in a month. So now let's check those busted ribs and see how they are, okay?"

Ellie starts to look at him... well, more at his shirtless chest. She hasn't seen him like this in a long time, and he hasn't changed that much; he just has a few more gray hairs on his chest than she remembers. And some new scars on there too, but physically, he's still the same. And after a few moments of looking at him, Ellie starts to check his ribs.

"Well, the bruises are starting to disappear, that's good." Ellie moves her hand, touching him on the side, where the most damage was the first time she treated him. "Does that hurt?"

"Just when I laugh," says Joel when he tries to smile.

"Well, if it's just that, then you're okay," says Ellie, smiling and moving her hand to the other side.

Ellie starts to put some ointment on the part that still has some bruises. "I'm going to put on some more of this. That will help you a little with the pain."

"Thanks, but the pain is almost gone now, so I don't think- aaaahhhh, that hurt!"

"Oh, please, don't be such a baby. I thought that you said that you don't feel any pain now," says Ellie with a smile.

"I don't, unless you press too hard."

"Sorry, but I need to check if the ribs are better, and apparently they're not."

When she finishes with the ribs, she looks at his abdomen and passes her finger over the old familiar scar. "I still remember this one," says Ellie while she continues passing her finger over the scar.

"Yeah, I remember that, too. You saved my life back then. I would be dead if it wasn't for you," says Joel with a soft voice.

"I was so scared that day. I thought I was going to lose you... all that blood, and all those men shooting at us. I had to kill them, and help you walk out of there. I was so small back then… The only thing in my mind was that you were going to die, and I was going to be alone," says Ellie with some tears forming in her eyes.

Then she stands up and moves away from Joel, trying to hide her wet eyes. She doesn't want him to see her crying.

"Ohhh… Ellie, how could I be so stupid, and blind, I'm so sorry... that I left you, but I thought that I was doing the right thing. You saved my life so many times, in so many ways, and the only thing I did for you was hurt you at the end," says Joel, standing up too, and walking until he is behind Ellie, putting his hand on her shoulder.

"I was so selfish at that time. I wanted to save you because you became the only thing I had in this world, and I didn't want to be alone. I cared about you a lot at that time and I was afraid to lose you," says Ellie, putting her hands over her face.

"Ohh... Ellie, that's not selfish, if you cared about me the same way I cared about you. If anyone is selfish here, it's me. I saved you from the Fireflies, not only because they didn't know what they were doing. They were going to kill you, and for what? Just to try to save this world? I know that it was a big deal, saving one life in exchange for thousands, but this world was condemned before the virus, and in that moment, I only thought about myself; I was going to lose another person that I love. And I couldn't let that happen. Not again.

"Joel! What is going to happen to us now?" asks Ellie, then she turns around and looks him in the eyes.

"I don't know, kiddo. I think that we have to take one step at time. Come here, kiddo… I know that I hurt you, that I ruined everything, but I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to make things right for you," says Joel while he pulls Ellie close to him and embraces her.

"Oh Joel, I love you so much, and I never want to be apart from you again," says Ellie, closing her eyes and losing herself in his hug.

"Me neither!" says Joel, kissing her on the top of her head.

After a few moments, Ellie moves away from the hug a little, and looks him in the eye again. Joel does the same, but when he looks her in the eye, he sees something in hers. Something that he saw the night she kissed him in the bed. Joel continues looking at her, but he notices that she's changed a lot. She's no longer that little girl he met almost five years ago. She's become something more. She's a young woman now, still as beautiful and smart as before, but more mature, and brave.

Fuck, she was out there for 6 months, 2 of them alone. How was I so blind as to go away, he says to himself.

But he knows that he's not going to make that mistake again. This girl love hims, and he loves her back, so from now on, he's going to make sure to fix all this and keep this girl at his side. But at this moment, the only thing he wants to do is kiss her and never let go of her. So he puts his hand on Ellie's face and kisses her, but not just a simple kiss. He kisses her until both of them need some air.

After a few moments of silence, Joel speaks. "I'm sorry… I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable… I know that you're still mad at me, and-" Joel stops when Ellie puts a finger on his lips.

"Joel, it's okay... even if I'm still a little mad at you, I`m not a little girl anymore, so you don't need to apologize for kissing me. Besides, I was the one to kiss you first... a few nights ago, remember."

"Yeah... but… I thought that that was just a- " Joel stops as soon as he sees Ellie's expression; he doesn't want to say something that might fuck this up.

"Okay!... So why don't I just finish... put on the clean bandages, then I'll go to the kitchen and finish with the cooking. We also need to do few things in the cabin after eating something. After that, maybe we can talk about all this, okay?" says Ellie, moving Joel toward the bed again.

"Okay, that sounds good," says Joel while he sits on the bed, so Ellie can put the clean bandages on him.

After they finish with all the things they need to do, Ellie and Joel sit on the couch and talk. Of course, they don't talk much about the kissing thing. Ellie tells Joel that her kiss was not a mistake, but that right now, she needs a little time to make sure about her feelings for him. Joel understands, and tells her that she can have all the time she needs, and that he is going to be there when she needs him. So after that, they talk about other things. Ellie continues telling him about the things that happened in Jackson. And Joel tells her about some of the things he did when he was on his quest... not the bad parts, of course. At the end of the day, Ellie tells Joel that the bed is big enough for the both of them… that neither of them needs to sleep on the couch anymore. Joel tries to protest, but in the end, Ellie convinces him that it's okay, so Joel has to accept.

*A few days later in the cabin*

Joel and Ellie continue with the routine: sleep, work in the cabin, talk sometimes, and cook dinner. Even Joel is a little surprised at how Ellie can cook now. He mentions to Ellie a few times how proud he is that she can cook now, and about other things as well. They've continued to talk for the last few days. Joel feels that Ellie is more open now to talk to him. He thinks that he is on a good path to fix things with Ellie - well, at least talking to her is easier now. They've been sleeping together for the last few days... well, in the same and only bed in the cabin. The condition for that is that Ellie will sleep facing one side and Joel the other, so that way they don't touch each other or be too close.

It hasn't been snowing for two days, so Joel is trying to work outside the cabin to fix some problems. It's early afternoon, and even though it's not snowing, it's still cold outside. Joel goes outside to work with some of the drains that are still covered with snow. Joel goes up on a ladder and starts to clean the drains before it starts to snow again. Joel is cleaning out the drain, but when he starts to take the snow out, he slips from the ladder and falls down to the snow. Lucky for him, the snow on the ground is deep enough that he doesn't hurt himself that much. But when he tries to get up, a lot of snow from the roof, as well as other things up there, falls on top of him.

"Shit! This is perfect, now I'm wet, too," says Joel as he tries to get the snow off of him.

Some of the snow is melting, so that makes almost all of his clothes wet. Joel starts to curse while he walks toward the front of the cabin. He opens the door and goes inside, checking if Ellie is in the kitchen - she's not. He assumes that she's upstairs, so he quickly starts to take off his coat and boots, and walk toward the bathroom. When he gets there and opens the door of the bathroom, his eyes open wide at what he sees.

"Ellie!" is the only thing he says when he sees Ellie naked inside the bathroom... well, topless, because she's still wearing her panties. Joel doesn't know what to do, but he just stays there looking at her with his mouth open.

"Joel! What the hell?" says Ellie as she sees Joel open the door and see her. She is topless in there, hanging some clothes that she just finished washing because all her clothes are dirty.

After the reaction of Joel just watching her there, almost completely naked, she lowers her arms quickly and covers her breasts.

"Fuck! Joel, don't you know how to knock on the door?" asks Ellie while she looks at him.

"I'm... so sorry, I thought that you were in the bedroom," says Joel while he turns and closes the door.

After Joel closes the door, he just leans his back against the closed door. He is thanking God for getting out of there before Ellie sees his erection. It's not like he hasn't seen her naked before, but back then, she was only sixteen. Now she is more like a young woman, and he hasn't had sex in a long… long... time.

"Ellie, what are you doing half naked in there? Were you taking a shower? Because I don't hear the water?" says Joel, trying to distract his mind from other things.

"No, I was doing my laundry because all my clothes were dirty. The strange thing is why you came in here without knocking on the door," says Ellie from inside.

"I'm sorry, I just got wet and I needed to change, and- hey, why do you have a bandage on your arm?" asks Joel after remembering seeing Ellie's arm bandaged.

"What?" asks Ellie, trying to find something to wear.

"Your arm. I saw a bandage on your arm. Did you get hurt or something?" asks Joel again, a little concerned now.

"Oh, no- yes - shit! it's nothing, Joel, really."

"Ellie, if you get cut, I need to know. Did that happen recently? Or was that before you got here?"

"Joel, it's fine, it's nothing, I'm fine, just go to the bedroom and check if I still have a t-shirt or something to wear in there."

"Ellie, you're going to tell me why you have your arm bandaged and why you haven't told me about it."

"Joel, I'm fine, it's not a big deal, just go and find something I can use - it's starting to get a little cold in here."

"There's a shirt and shorts in there... I was going to use those, but you can use them. Now when you finish getting dressed, we're going to talk," says Joel with a serious voice.

"Jesus, Joel, really," says Ellie. Fuck! Why does he have to be like this sometimes? She finds the clothes and starts to dress.

"Yes, really, and hurry up, you don't need all day for that."

Then Joel goes upstairs and exchanges his clothes for dry ones. After he finishes, he goes down and sees Ellie already sitting on the couch, waiting for him.

"Okay, now you're going to tell me what happened to your arm - and why aren't you wearing the shorts?" asks Joel as soon as she enters the living room.

"They're too big, so I'm going to use only the shirt for now," answers Ellie.

Joel gives her a look, and goes to sit in a chair in front of Ellie. He tries not to look at her legs, or other places that are not her face. He can't get her naked body out of his mind, but he needs to - and soon, before he has another problem with his body.

"Okay, so tell me what happened to your arm?" Joel asks again, so that way he can keep his mind focused on that.

"Joel, it's really nothing. I'm fine," says Ellie, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Ellie, you know that I'm going to find out what happened sooner or later, and if you are fine, why don't you want to tell me?" says Joel, moving his hand impatiently.

"Okay, fine. I was bitten by an infected, before I got here," says Ellie, touching her bandaged arm.

"What! You got bitten by an infected, and you didn't tell me? Let me see it?" asks Joel, grabbing Ellie's bandaged arm.

"Joel, it's okay, it's not a big deal. I'm immune, remember. I cleaned up the bite and bandaged it fast. Anyway, it was just a small bite," says Ellie, trying the stop Joel from taking the bandages off.

"Shit!... Oh Ellie, I'm sorry... All this is my fault. You could've died out there, and-" says Joel with a sad voice while he looks at Ellie's arm.

"Joel… it's okay, it's just a small bite, I'm fine, and I finally found you. This is not your fault - it was my choice. And being with you now... is great. Now we can be together," says Ellie, putting her other hand on top of Joel`s.

"Yeah, that was your choice, but one that you made because I wasn't there. I swore to you that I was going to protect you. I thought that if I did this, you were going to be safe in Jackson. But deep inside me, I knew that you were going to get out of there and go looking for me. That is why I told Tommy to tell you the truth about Salt Lake City. I knew that you were going to hate me for that, so I was hoping that you'd hate me enough to stay there and be safe. I didn't expect that all that was going to hurt you so much… or that you were going to come out here, looking for me," says Joel, lowering his head and looking at the floor in shame.

"Joel, it's okay, and even if all of this is partly your fault - for leaving - I think that in some way, all this was for the best. All of this changed me, in one way or another… now I know that I can take care of myself, and it made me stronger. I`m not that little girl anymore, scared and weak. Besides, I thought that we agreed to try to leave all this in the past, remember? What's done is done. We can't change it back, what we did. But maybe we can have a better future now."

"Yeah, I can see that you've changed a lot, but I think that I made so many mistakes... and leaving you was the worst," says Joel, looking at Ellie now.

"I think that's true, but we are together now. Joel, I think that all this can be a second chance for us, and we should take it," says Ellie.

"Ellie, what do you mean by that?"

"Joel, I love you, and nothing is going to change that. I know that you`re not good with promises, but whatever this is or whatever you want it to be, between us... I want to be with you all the way. I go where you go. No more leaving me behind."

"I love you too, Ellie, but you think that we can do this... you think that we can leave it all behind us?"

"Well, at least we can try, and whatever happens, if we are together, we're going to be fine." Then Ellie moves herself forward and kisses Joel on the mouth. After that, Joel lets go of Ellie's arm, puts his hands on her face, and kisses her back.

When they finish with the kiss, Ellie remembers that she's in Joel's shirt, without any pants. She feels a little embarrassed, and moves away from Joel. Even though she wants to be with Joel, she feels that she's not ready to do anything else, for now.

"I think that I need to put some pants on… it's getting cold, and all my clothes are wet, sooo…" says Ellie while she gets up from the couch.

"Oh, yeah… right, I think that I have some in the bedroom that might fit you," says Joel, trying not to look at her much.

"Okay, thanks- Hey, you haven't told me why you were so wet?" asks Ellie while she stops in the middle of the stairs and looks at Joel.

"Oh, that!... that was a little snow that fell over me."

"Really! Don't tell me you fell from the ladder again, did you? And don't try to lie again."

"Well, in my defense, the portable ladder, was a little slippery," says Joel, standing up from his chair.

"Maybe it's better if you let a younger person do that job for you."

"Hey! That hurt. Besides, I may be old, but I'm still in good shape."

"Maybe you can prove that, if you catch me," says Ellie, laughing in front of Joel.

"Oh, is that what you think - okay, you're on, girl, and when I catch you, you're going to beg me to let you go."

"Well, you need to catch me first." But the only thing I'm going to beg for is for you to never let me go again, says Ellie to herself while she start running up the stairs, with Joel behind her.