Authors Note: As always thank you so much for the support… I do apologise for the feels in this but I hope it also gives you the "hope" you need. I do want to start off my saying that after this chapter I am unsure when the next chapter will be posted. Work is crazy busy over the next week (except this Wednesday but the other chapters aren't even ready yet), so another update probably wont be until next week sometime, however this ending should at least make the wait more bearable. So thank you, and I hope you enjoy :) x
2 weeks later
"So you're working for Ray?" Barry asked her as he helped with her boxes in his spare room.
"Yes, no... it's complicated," Felicity answered.
"You know when you asked me if you could stay all those months ago, I kind of expected you'd actually have been here more," he mumbled. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a hand on her hip. "Don't give me that look."
"I do not wish to be a burden to you or Iris, Barry."
"You could never be that," he answered.
"Well I've been busy. I've been travelling and relaxing, and working."
"I know, everyone wants you all over the world," he replied with a giant grin.
"It has felt that way," she mumbled rubbing her hand over her belly. "But I needed as much money as I could muster for this little one."
"I know," he replied. "But I told you, you are more than welcome to raise your baby here."
"I am not raising my baby with a soon to be married couple," she replied. "I love you guys, you, Iris, Caitlin, Ronnie, Cisco... everyone. But I can't put that type of pressure on you."
"So instead you're going to move to Seattle?" he asked moving the boxes into a pile in the corner.
"I need to stay in one place for awhile," she answered. "And Ray asked me to help him more with Palmer Tech."
"Yeh but we both know you don't have to be there to do it," he pointed out.
"Look Barry, I know you guys think I should stay here or go back to Star City, but I can't," she whispered. "I need a full fresh start."
"I understand," he answered, giving her that sad puppy dog look. "I know you've been travelling because you haven't wanted to stop, I know you could easily have done most of your work from right here but you just didn't want to."
"I couldn't," she answered truthfully. "If I stopped it would be real."
She looked up at him to see him staring at her. "But it is real. Whether you want to face it here or somewhere else, you're going to have a baby. You're divorcing your husband, and whether you admit it or not, the heartbreak is clear as day on your face."
"Barry," she whimpered feeling her bottom lip quiver. "I can't..." She turned away from him trying to control her emotions. He was right, of course he was, but hearing someone else say it seemed to make it worse.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I just want you to realise that you're basically doing it alone if you move to Seattle," he added quickly.
"Maybe it's better that way," she answered.
She turned around to look at him just as a loud bang came to the door. "I wonder who that is?" Barry mused out loud as Felicity shrugged her shoulders.
"No idea, movers aren't coming until tomorrow," she answered.
"Well I better go check," he said pointing towards the door and leaving her room.
She took a deep breath as she looked down at the few personal belongings she'd actually unpacked from her possessions. But she wasn't really looking at them, but rather her hand, and the bands that were missing.
"Felicity!" She heard Barry calling.
"I'm coming!" she shouted back, basically plodding towards the open space of the loft. "Give me a minute remember I'm pregnant and I can't move as qui-" She stopped dead in her tracks as she took in the sight before her. Barry was stood there with a shit eating grin, as Oliver stood beside him. His hair was short, and his jaw littered in his stubbled beard. He was wearing jeans and a leather jacket. He was clearly working out again as the material pulled around his muscles. She swallowed thickly shaking her head as she felt a blush creep up her face.
"Felicity," Oliver practically whispered, a small smile spreading across his face.
She felt her heart flutter, he looked like her husband, like how she remembered him from before the accident. "Oliver what are you doing here?" she asked with a frown.
"I wanted to talk," he replied with a shrug. "But you are a very hard woman to track down."
"I'll bet," Barry mumbled.
"Barry!" she scolded with a glare.
"Oh, so you're Barry," Oliver added quickly turning to him with his hand held out.
"Barry Allen," he replied taking his hand and shaking it. "I guess you don't remember me?"
"No, I'm sorry I don't," he answered with an almost sad glint and Felicity found herself feeling a wave of disappointment.
"That's okay. I'm sure there are things about me you don't want to remember anyway," Barry joked lamely and she sighed as Oliver looked completely baffled.
"Like what?" he asked.
"Oh you know, me and Felicity and our closeness that you got jealou-"
"Barry!" she used her loud voice once again as Oliver glared at him.
"Right, I should leave you guys to it," he rambled quickly grabbing his coat and keys. "I'll go visit Iris at work and get some lunch, so you guys will have this place to yourselves for a few hours."
"It was nice to meet you," Oliver called as he left them alone.
The silence stretched on as he stood looking around the place. "What did you mean I was hard to track down?" she asked tilting her head.
"I tried to find you," he answered. "In the end, my parents PI tracked you to Gotham, then Seattle before finally turning up here yesterday."
"Wait? Your parents PI?" she asked unable to stop the puzzled look on her face.
"They wanted to help," he answered with a shrug.
"And why go to all that trouble?"
"I wanted to talk in person, and truthfully after I received the divorce papers I wasn't 100% certain you'd answer my call."
She rolled her eyes at him. "So rather than call you used your parents resources?" she asked with a shake of her head.
"No, I contacted all our friends. None of them had heard from you, I contacted S.T.A.R labs who had no idea where you were," he admitted. "Then I went to my parents on Thea's advice."
"Thea suggested that?" she asked a little stunned.
"Yes, she's been going to therapy too," he answered with a little smile.
"Good," she answered unable to hide the pride her in voice. He looked up at her shuffling on his feet. "Why did you want to talk Oliver?"
"Because we don't seem to be able to have a completely honest conversation," he replied with a shrug and she couldn't help but cross her arms on top of her bump, tilting her head at him.
"In what way?"
"We keep thinking we're doing the right thing for the other person, but I'm starting to think we aren't," he answered taking a step closer.
"I'm not sure I follow," she replied.
"Are you happy Felicity?" he asked. "Are you genuinely happy living here? Raising your baby here with a couple?"
"I... I'm happy... enough," she answered. "And I won't be here for much longer, anyway."
"What do you mean?" he asked looking genuinely confused.
"I'm leaving Oliver," she replied releasing her arms. "I'm moving away, I want a fresh start."
"Away from me, you mean?" he asked.
"Truthfully, seeing your face randomly in articles at events with a different woman on your arm hasn't exactly helped-"
"You know what those galas are like. I didn't date any of them, they were just guests too, I wasn't with any of those women-"
"You can do as you please Oliver, we're separated," she answered, trying her hardest to keep her voice neutral.
"No," he replied almost instantly.
"Excuse me?" she asked blinking rapidly at him.
"No, I can't do as I please because you are my wife Felicity," he replied and she couldn't help but laugh.
"I am not your possession."
"Of course not, that's not what I meant," he replied stumbling over his words. "I respect you, I always have and I know, I know how bad I am but I don't want to give up on our marriage."
"You do realise that nothing has changed right?" she asked standing there trying to control herself.
"I'm getting help, a lot of it, and I realised I care about you, a lot."
"But I'm pregnant Oliver, this isn't something you can just pick and choose. It's a package deal."
"Then I'll take it," he mumbled and she laughed dryly.
"Seriously, you don't need to do this," she answered waving her hand up. "You have no obligation to me or the baby, and I don't want to force you into a life with us-"
"Stop it!" he snapped angrily and she glared at him. "Stop trying to make decisions for me, stop saying things like that, that you're forcing my hand."
"What am I meant to think?" she snapped back. "I left, I walked away and you didn't seem that bothered, now suddenly you're here?"
"I am fighting for us."
"And I'm tired of fighting for us," she replied with a deep sigh. "You have no idea what it's like to look at the man you love and him stare at you blankly, that he remembers nothing about you, let alone your life together."
"Felicity-"
"No okay? I'm having a baby-"
"I know, and I want that with you," he shouted stopping her dead in her tracks.
"What?"
"Just listen," he pleaded and she gave a sharp nod for him to continue. She rubbed at her belly feeling a small twinge. "I'm starting to get my life together, I'm starting to be a part of the businesses and starting to cook again, I'm back in our old house, and I realised I'm miserable."
"You're miserable?" she whispered completely confused.
"Yes because something was missing, rather someone."
"Who?"
"You," he answered rubbing a hand at the back of his neck. "I realised for as far as I had come, none of it seemed to matter when all I wanted was to share it all with you. All I kept thinking about was you, about us living in our home. Together."
"But..." she muttered rubbing her belly and she watched his eyes flicker down to it.
"I would adore that child, because it is a part of you," he replied. "I adored it the moment I felt it moving under my palm," he added.
"Oliver..."
"I don't want a divorce Felicity, I don't want you to leave, nor do I want you to raise that baby alone. I want you, the both of you."
She swallowed thickly unable to look away from him. His eyes shined brightly and she saw no waver in his conviction. "It… it isn't that simple," she mumbled in response rubbing her belly, starting to feel uncomfortable.
"Why can't it be? Why can't I simply want to be with the woman I love and her child?" he asked with a small shrug.
"Wait." She blinked rapidly unsure as to what she had just heard. "You… you love me?" she murmured.
His cheeks blushed as he averted his eyes looking almost like a startled teenager. "I… I want this Felicity. I swear to you. You are my always and I just want a chance to be yours… again."
She felt the tears threatening to spill as his words hit her. "Oliver, they're just words," she mumbled. "Your actions these last few months haven't exactly-" She stopped mid-sentence when an intense pain rippled from her stomach. "Arrgggghhhh." She clutched her stomach as she bent over.
"Felicity?" Oliver rushed to her side instantly wrapping his arm around her and placing his hand over hers on her bump.
"Something doesn't feel right," she answered unable to hide the fear from her voice as the pain subsided and she stood straighter.
"Okay, we'll go to the hospital," he replied letting her take hold of his hand.
She couldn't help but hold on to him as the feeling of fear overtook her completely. "Oliver," she whimpered.
"I'm here," he answered wrapping his other arm around her for support. "And I'm not going anywhere." He lead them to the door as Felicity tried to calm her racing heart.
Felicity held on to Oliver's hand tightly, completely panicked. She was strapped to a machine measuring the baby's heartrate and Oliver had done nothing but reassure her. He had not left her side as they rushed to the hospital, as the nurses decided to run some checks and monitored her.
"It's okay," Oliver mumbled as she sat silently. "It'll be okay."
She glanced to him to see him staring at her. "How can you possibly say that?"
"Because you've come this far," he answered holding her hand tightly. "It's so much longer than before." Her eyes widened and her jaw opened, her mind raising at the words he had just said.
"Mrs Queen." The door opened before she had a chance to say anything.
Both turned their heads up as the familiar voice reached their ears. "Doctor Granger?" Felicity asked blinking. "What are you doing in Central City?"
"I was covering for the day," she replied with a tender smile, walking over to the monitor. "Nice to see you again Mr Queen."
"You too," he answered looking down as Felicity glanced between the two.
"I see you took my advice?" she replied off hand.
"Trying to," he mumbled.
"Ah, I see," she answered checking the machine before stepping closer to Felicity. "Everything is absolutely fine."
"Are you sure?" Felicity asked unable to hide the tremor in her voice.
"Babies heartbeat is strong and you are not having contractions."
"Then what was happening?" Oliver asked first.
"It was braxton hicks, false labour," she answered.
"But the pain…"
"Was the tightening of your uterus. It's to get you ready for labour," she encouraged as she removed the equipment.
"But…" Felicity failed to find the words as she slipped her hand from Oliver's grasp.
"It is perfectly normal, and you had no idea. It was better to be safe than sorry," she answered.
"Exactly," Oliver replied smiling tenderly. "You and the baby are what matter most," he added quickly.
"How about we do an ultrasound?" Doctor Granger suggested. "Then dad can see the baby, and you both can be reassured."
"I'm not the father," Oliver added quickly, unable to hide the sadness in his tone as Felicity fidgeted uncomfortably.
"Oh," Dr Granger replied a little shocked. "Well let me just grab the machine." She walked to the other side wheeling it over to them. Felicity did the usual pulling her top up and trousers down. Dr Granger squirted jelly onto her belly and she shivered at the coolness. She didn't dare look at Oliver as she placed the equipment onto her belly searching for a good image of their baby.
"Oh wow," she heard Oliver mumbled from beside her when the image became clear. Felicity could feel the tears sting at the back of her eyes and her throat dry up as their baby wiggled on the screen.
"And that flickering you see there," Doctor Granger started, pointing towards the centre of the baby's chest. "That is your baby's heart and it's beating. They're a strong one," she added with a smile.
Felicity dared to glance at Oliver who had clear tears in his eyes as he stared at the monitor intently. "Can we have photos?" he asked and Felicity felt her heart beating wildly.
"Of course you can," Dr Granger replied with a grin. "I'll just save it and go get them for you." She tapped the screen a few times handing Felicity a paper towel. She wiped off the jelly before redressing herself.
"Thank you," Oliver said as she left the ultrasound machine beside them.
"I'll just go arrange that for you, and sort your paperwork," Dr Granger said softly, heading towards the door.
"It's beautiful," Oliver whispered.
"And everything's really okay?" Felicity asked before she could leave the room.
"For 30 weeks your baby is doing perfectly," she answered with a smile. "They're exactly the size they should be, everything is progressing well."
"Thank you," Felicity answered feeling the way Oliver's attention changed at the mention of 30 weeks.
"My pleasure, Mrs Queen," she answered as she stepped out.
"30 weeks," he mumbled shaking his head.
"Oliver," she started turning more towards him, "I… I need to tell you the truth." She reached for him and he instantly stood up. He took a few steps back taking deep breathes.
"The baby's mine, isn't it?" he asked and she couldn't help but glance down. "I mean ours, like it's really ours." She nodded her head waiting for him to run, waiting for anger and hurt. What she didn't expect was him to rush forward, to sit beside her on the bed and take her hands on his. A smile spread across his whole face.
"Oliver?" she whispered glancing at his face and their joint hands.
"I don't care," he answered with a joyous laugh. "I don't care that you lied, I don't care that you didn't want to tell me because nothing has changed. I still want you, both of you."
"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do, when I found out, you were in such a bad place and because of last time-"
"Shhhh," he whispered. "I understand. I truly do. I wasn't myself, and god knows I'm trying desperately to be a man you can be proud of again. But I… I haven't been a hundred percent honest too."
"Huh?" she asked staring into his eyes.
"I… I can remember things," he whispered.
"What?" she exclaimed unable to hide her smile.
"Just little things, I remember our first meeting. Overwatch."
"You… you remember me?" she stuttered.
He nodded. "I remember little, random things," he whispered. "I remember mint choc chip cake."
"You made that for me."
"I know I did," he answered looking a little nervous. "I didn't know why I kept remembering it so vividly. But the day I went to see Tommy and Laurel, and their son, something felt wrong in that hospital."
"Yes…" she uttered.
"And I couldn't remember, and Doctor Granger was there and I didn't know her name. She seemed familiar and she said I should talk to you," he rushed out. "But eventually I remembered on my own."
"Remembered?" she asked needing to hear him say it, needing to hear it.
He pulled one of their joint hands over her bump. "I remember losing our baby," he whispered. "I remember all that pain, and anger. I remembered what happened, how we handled it and how I fought for you after."
She couldn't help but blink as the tears truly stung her eyes. She closed them trying to not let her emotions control her. "I'm sor-"
"No. Never apologise for not sharing that. I wouldn't have been able to give you the support you needed, not without the feelings I remember now. With losing the baby with Samantha, and you." He took a deep breath. "But… please don't leave. Don't divorce me."
"Oliver," she whimpered opening her eyes to look at him, unable to stop the tears falling this time.
"I want to be with you, and I want to raise our baby," he answered. "I don't want a divorce, I don't want you to move. I want you to come home with me." She could see the determination in his eyes as a single tear escaped him. "I want to be a father and a husband that you both deserve, but I need another opportunity to be able to do that. But I understand if not, I understand if you can't give me yet another chance. You have given me so many, and I want us, this, I really do, but if you can't forgive me or give me another chance that's okay."
"I…" she mumbled trying to find the words.
"I'm here, and I'm fighting for you. Because this is all I ever wanted, all I ever need but only if you want it too. Otherwise I'll stop, I'll let you be and I will be a father to our baby, and only that."
"I never wanted to take another baby from you," she sobbed. "I was so scared of telling you, of causing you to run but I ran."
"That's okay, you were scared and you must have been so frightened doing this pregnancy without me too. You are the strongest person I know," he whispered squeezing her hands.
"I don't want to divorce you either," she mumbled completely stunned by the shocked look on his face. "I never wanted to, I always thought you didn't want to be married. That you couldn't and didn't want love me again."
"I know and I'm sorry," he answered. "I'm truly sorry I lost my way, that I did what I did, that I turned back into him. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up-"
"No," she replied forcefully. "You lost your memories, you lost all the important events that made you who you were. But you can remember things now, you're getting help, and you're here," she answered holding back a sob. "So I forgive you Oliver."
"You do?" he uttered in such disbelief it made her heart ache.
She pulled her hand out of his reaching up for his cheek before cupping it gently as he leant into her touch. "I do, and if you want us, I'd like to come home and try again."
His eyes widened as her fingers moved against his cheek. "I'd love that," he answered unable to hide his happiness.
"We'll take it one step at a time?"
"Of course, no pressure."
"On either of us," she answered and he nodded with a smile. She took a deep breath allowing the moment of absolute calm and happiness to settle over her. She smiled wide at him as he clearly couldn't hide the joy just radiating from him. She slowly moved her free hand down from his face to his heart; she could feel the rapid thudding under her touch. He squeezed her hand that was resting on her bump, just when the baby started to kick.
"Is that?" he asked staring down at their hands.
"Yes I guess our baby's happy with our decision too." She pulled both his hands up to her belly, letting him feel all the movements.
"Wow," he uttered unable to pull his hands away. "This is amazing. Thank you for telling me the truth."
"Thank you for fighting for us, for being here, and telling the truth too," she answered proudly slipping her hands over his. He looked up at her, his eyes shining in awe, love and admiration. He looked more like the man she married, the man she loved in that moment than she had ever seen in the last several months. She watched as he leant forward, his hands unmoving from her belly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She couldn't help but close her eyes and feel his warm lips against her skin for the first time in a long time. She sighed as he pulled back and placed his forehead on to hers.
"I've missed you," he whispered the moment she opened her eyes.
"I've missed you too," she responded.
"I can't wait for you to come home," he added with a tender smile. All she could do was smile brightly as his eyes sparkled, and she let herself get lost in the moment completely.