Sam walked towards the bathroom and opened the door. Once in it she went directly to the mirror. Then suddenly she got watery eyes. ''What a mess! It's totally breaking my heart!'' she yelled in herself. ''He's so caring and understanding. But it's killing us both. How hard we even try our habits of resentment keep coming back, and our guard will be visible again. How long until it ends?... how long!'' she yelled again in her thoughts. She felt teardrops on her cheeks and dried them away really quickly. Big girls don't cry, a major doesn't cry. She will not show weakness, showing weakness can be dangerous. But even though she's a woman too. And women have strong feelings which last entirely long… eventually she composed her posture and locked the door and undressed herself, and eventually went in the shower. The water unstressed her body and everything relaxed. She ran the water for quite some time. And used Jack's shampoo and soap for washing her hair and body. She breathed in deeply and felt home then and there. She hoped that she would wake up and lay next to him in a bed and this would all be over… just a dream, a horrible nightmare. And where Jack could ease her mind and get back to sleep in his arms… his warm comfortable arms. But it wasn't over… she was still in the shower.
She turned off the shower and dried herself; she bonded a towel around her body and looked again in the mirror. Less stressed than before. But still unhappy. When is that image gonna change?
She changed herself again and went downstairs. When she entered the kitchen she made some thee for both Jack and her. She knew he would still be sitting in the backyard. Maybe he'll be sleepy of it and fall easily in sleep. It's only during night that she sometimes finds her sleep. Coz, when she sleeps she dreams the same. Everything about Jack. It's like living the nightmare too.
So when she made two cups of thee, she went outside and saw him sitting in his favorite wooden chair, gazing at the stars. He was sitting with his back towards Sam so he couldn't see her. But he heard the noise in the kitchen. It actually felt like the future where they would be living in. like this is a little something for them to behold when they can finally be together. Oh he loved her. He loves her so much.
Sam walked towards Jack and held the cup thee in front of his face. He turned around and nodded and took the cup from her and took a nip of it. It was still hot so he would take it easy. Sam went towards the other wooden chair and watched the stars a little while, the thee was still hot.
Jack had been sitting here for a long time already, so he was kinda done stargazing and instead of looking at the stars he took an overlook at Sam. She looked beautiful, and quite relaxed. He loves everything about her. God knows how much he wishes to gives up to be with her. He's ready to let go, but he won't jeopardize her career… Never!
Sam felt his eyes on her and turned around to look at him. And for a little while they kept staring at each other. Until Jack made a mental note to himself to compose himself. And that he didn't have to get himself drowned in her ocean blue eyes.
'Feeling better?' he asked her. It would be better to keep the conversation as light as possible.
'Yea… ohm… it was nice' she answered back. And smiled a weak smile at him and eventually turned her head back towards the sky. It was a lie and if she would be looking in his eyes he would notice it. She wasn't feeling fine at all. Every second was breaking her fundamental ground. Her heart was breaking, but she won't show any weakness. She's strong in those kind of things. Keep your feelings hidden. Just keep your head up and mind other things. But when she was living them it was a lot harder than it would seem. Damn it! Damn our situation.
'Ohm… I'll be back in 5 minutes keep my thee warm please.'and he stood up and walked towards her and gave her his thee and smiled at her. Then he walked towards the bathroom and took a shower.
A nice cold shower, which hopefully has as reaction that his memory will be erased, for a little while. Just to feel less of the pain. Coz, this was breaking his heart too. What they wanted to do is forbidden! No colonel may have a relationship with his second in command.
When he was done showering he changed himself and went downstairs again. He walked towards the backyard and suddenly heard a noise. A… cry? 'Huh?' he thought. He walked silently to the noise and saw Sam sitting there.