"Where's Emily?"

Aria sat on a chair next to Spencer and put the tray on the table. She looked around at the bar in case Emily was still ordering her food.

"She's talking to your mom", Hanna explained. "She gave her a bad grade on some Literature paper."

Three days had passed since their sleepover at Spencer's took place. Sunday had been a day to sleep the day away. Monday had the girls coming back to school, except Spencer, who stayed home sick that day. Tuesday was a grim, rainy spring day. Wednesday was better, but it was the middle of the week. The three friends sat around the table with their lunches, waiting for the week to end.

"My mom gave her a bad grade?"

Aria was incredulous about it.

"What grade did she get?"

Spencer asked the question while lifting her head from her food to look at Hanna.

"B."

"Huh", Spencer groaned, surprised. "Right."

"I know", Hanna continued. "B is what I call a good grade, but she wouldn't listen. She's really stressed about her grades right now."

"It's probably the Danby thing", Aria reasoned. "She wants to make sure she's going to a good college so her parents won't get mad."

"Spencer, you should help her with that", Hanna warned. "You're the one who's always improving our grades. Or doing our homework."

"It's not the same thing", Aria clarified. "Maybe Em does need some help, though."

"It is the same thing", Hanna argued, "for me at least."

Hanna smirked at Aria in complicity.

"I will if she asks me to", Spencer replied. "I don't have a problem with helping her, or any of you for that matter."

They hadn't talked a lot since Sunday. Just the usual "hello, see ya later" stuff.

"She won't ask", Aria corrected. Emily was proud when it came to asking for that kind of help. "You have to offer."

"Well", Spencer conceded, "then I guess I'll offer."

That could be a good idea, actually. It'd give them the excuse to spend some time together.

"Anyway she's going back to the pool today", Hanna announced. "She'll be fine."

Spencer didn't know that either. Or she had forgotten about it. She mentally kicked herself in the head for that.

They saw Emily coming in the cafeteria, her tall, fine figure approaching them with a concerned look in her eyes. Spencer felt herself grow increasingly nervous. It had been that way since Tuesday, because they had not seen each other on Monday. She couldn't even look at Emily without feeling sweaty and stressed. She looked down at her food and picked a piece of broccoli to distract herself from the view. She put it in her mouth, started to chew, then looked up again. Emily was already leaving her backpack and a couple of books on the table. She hardly established eye contact with her. Just a glance of recognition, and that was all.

Spencer moved uncomfortably in her seat while Emily sat next to Hanna and took out a sandwich from her backpack. She delicately removed the plastic that was covering it.

"So you talked to my mom?", Aria asked. "How was it?"

"Fine."

Emily offered a polite, tight-lipped smile. She wasn't really in the mood to talk about how great she was doing in every aspect of her life.

"Did she change your grade?", Aria insisted.

"Nope", Emily answered. "But she's letting me rewrite a part of the essay. And she also told me I could write something optional… you know, to get a better grade."

"As a plus."

Spencer spoke from the other side of the table.

"Yeah", Emily confirmed without looking. She sank her teeth on the sandwich. "As a plus."

"And what are you gonna write about?"

The poor attempt at conversation didn't go well for Spencer. Emily fixed her eyes on her for the first time since she arrived. Her long eyelashes didn't flatter or move. She just stared for a second, then continued with her sandwich.

"I don't know yet."

They continued their lunch in silence. After a while, Aria got up and picked up her things.

"I gotta go." She looked at Emily. "Em, you're going back to the pool today, right?"

Emily looked back at Aria and her face lit up a little. Spencer felt her heart swell when she saw Emily's lips turn upwards and loosen her concerned features, her eyes spark at the mere idea of swimming. She wasn't the one who inspired it, but she could enjoy it from a distance.

"Yeah. This afternoon. In four hours."

"Cool", Aria confirmed. "So,listen, I've been thinking we could go see you and cheer up for you."

Emily's expression turned worried again, but she smiled politely at Aria.

"Oh, there's no need. It's only swim practice."

"No, it's a great idea, Aria", Hanna said before looking happily back at Emily. "We can get to see you in action again."

"I don't even know if people are allowed there when we practice", Emily argued back. "I mean, you're not my parents or anything."

"But we're your friends." Aria directed her eyes to Spencer, who was watching the whole scene with curiosity. "Spence, can't you ask the coach to let us in?"

Emily's body tensed up. She frowned so very slightly that only Spencer realized it.

"Sure", Spencer answered cautiously. "I mean, if Emily wants us there."

Spencer was trying to be extremely careful with the situation, but she felt it was completely out of her hands now. It was Aria and Hanna's idea, although she was in favour of watching Emily dive back into the pool – because that was always a pleasure, anyway – even if Emily didn't seem particularly thrilled by the plan. She couldn't do anything about it. Emily didn't even return most of her glances right now. She probably didn't want them there today. Or only possibly her.

"Of course she wants us there", Hanna voiced the complete opposite idea. "Em, c'mon. You want us there. We're cool. We're gonna keep quiet." The best of Hanna's puppy eyes and pouts accompanied the plead.

Spencer thought that maybe she should excuse herself and not go. She had things to do. But no, that was not an option. She was sure her absence would backfire somehow.

She wondered if Emily would find another excuse to keep them from coming. However, Emily just breathed deeply, as in giving herself the strength and patience to confront a situation that wasn't particularly pleasant for her.

"Whatever you want." She smiled and then sent a warning look to all of them, very briefly passing over Spencer. "Just be quiet. It's my first day in a long time."

"We'll be quiet", Hanna assured. "Promise."

Hanna believed she was the one Emily was sending the warning to. But she wouldn't wear her headphones or talk on the phone. Not today. Emily needed the support and they were going to supply it.

Aria started to say goodbye when Hanna realized she had a class as well. The same class, actually. Thus, she got up in a rush, asked Aria to wait for her and prepared to leave too.

"See you later, then?", Aria said to Emily and Spencer, waving her hand once Hanna was ready.

They nodded in agreement and then were left together. Spencer was hardly eating any of her chicken with vegetables and Emily was almost done with her sandwich already. Spencer wondered how long they would be able to endure the awkward silence between them. It was clear Emily wasn't going to break it, and she felt she could hardly swallow her own food, let alone try a shot at conversation.

Emily finished her sandwich and quickly stood up to take everything to the trash.

"Are you done?", she asked Spencer, her hand and eyes already on the tray.

"Yeah."

She took Spencer's tray and everything else to the trash bin, while Spencer waited for her return. It had only been three days and they could hardly speak or look at each other. She was trying, but Emily wasn't, at least when they were alone. Why? Was this a way to punish her? Or to avoid her?

Emily came back and took her backpack and her books, sending Spencer another one of those quick, sideways glances she was giving her since yesterday.

"I'm going to class too", she announced, wrapping her dark pink scarf around her neck. "See you later."

Spencer felt dismayed at this whole thing. She was not one to take this kind of silent treatment from anyone. She had no patience for this sort of situation. But she couldn't be angry or outraged. She just felt helpless while Emily turned around and slowly walked through the cafeteria, her slim body fading away as it met other bodies along the way, until it was impossible for Spencer's eyes to distinguish her from the others and it remained only a memory, a mental image of the one who had recently been there and then left almost without a word.

She picked her own books and her bag and walked to class in a dream. Although it was more of a nightmare, to tell the truth. She sat in class, next to some guy and some girl, listened to her beloved History teacher tell them about this and that, but she could only see Emily leaving in her mind. She broke her head over it. She thought about ignoring it, she thought about confronting it. She thought about the kiss and it turned her stomach into a flock of butterflies. She thought about A and panic invaded her again. She thought about Toby and sorrow grabbed her by the neck and twisted it almost to tears. The class ended, she got up and left, walked to her French class in a clouded haze, where the same thing happened to her. How was she supposed to live like this every day? She had to put a stop to it. She was a doer, she could not stand to be the Hamlet type and think and think and think again. She'd rather be Lady MacBeth even if that meant she would lose it and get blood on her hands… Maybe she shouldn't go that far, but she was a doer anyway, she ought to do something about this. But what would she do? She had to talk to Emily. There was no way she could stand to go on like this anymore, to be disowned, to be left wondering, to not be even looked at. But how was she going to talk to Emily if she could hardly breathe in front of her? It didn't matter. She would confront her even if that meant she would run out of air. She had to talk to Emily and it had to be right now.

The bell rang and she left in a hurry. Maybe she could catch Emily in the lockers before her next class started. She walked steadily, trying not to think about what to say, just thinking she had to get there and do it. And there she was, indeed: Emily was standing with her head down, looking into her locker, her pink scarf a sign that made her stand out in the crowd, a lonely, beautiful figure that she knew so well and was yet so distant. Spencer breathed deeply and approached her from behind.

"Emily."

When she heard her name, Emily turned around and looked at Spencer with unveiled surprise.

"Hey."

"Hey", Spencer replied, almost automatically. She gathered all of her mental strength. "I think we need to talk."

Emily examined her face for a second.

"We're going to see each other later." She smiled, but her tone and her expression were so serious and distant Spencer realized she really was going to have to sweat over this. "You're coming, right?"

Emily retrieved a book and closed her locker.

"Sure, I'll be there", Spencer replied, focusing on her task, which consisted in not letting Emily get away with that one. "But I mean alone. Can we meet later?"

This time Spencer could see some kind of inner struggle taking place in Emily's soul, because she frowned and seemed to think what she was going to say next.

"I'm not sure I can meet today. I have a lot to do for tomorrow."

"We need to talk, Em", Spencer demanded. "You can't avoid me forever."

Anger flashed in Emily's eyes.

"You know, it's funny to hear you say that I'm the one avoiding you."

Bitter, acid cheerfulness dripped through her words and her fiery almond eyes, and so Spencer guessed hearing it wasn't funny at all. At least now she was reaching behind the mask.

"Why'd you say that? I came to talk to you. I'm here now."

Emily gave her a blank look, and then seemed to weight different possibilities, considering if she should voice them or not.

"Yeah, you're here now."

"So doesn't that mean something?"

"You're here now", Emily finally started, sarcasm giving way to raw honesty, "but you skipped classes on Monday, and we both know how difficult it is for you to do that. You only texted me to say you were sick and you couldn't come. I called you five times to see how you were and finally your mom picked up and said you were sleeping but you'd call me later. Let me tell you I'm still waiting for that call." She recited all of these actions non-stop with a firm, cold, ruthless anger. "And then we've hardly exchanged four words in two days, so I guess that settles it, Spencer." She finished with a forced timid smile, directed not so much to Spencer but to the crowded student population who were still walking around them.

Spencer swallowed saliva and felt herself tremble at the mere thought of settling it like that.

"Okay, I should've called you, I know that and I am sorry."

She agreed that was a huge mistake. She was so screwed again, a thousand mental kicks in the head would not be enough of a punishment. But she had been so consumed by her fear of A telling Toby about their kiss that she had forgotten about calling. Amongst other things. Her head was like a colander, full of holes too big to keep things from slipping away.

"Apology accepted", Emily terminated in a way the apology didn't seem to really make it through her. "I'll see you later."

Spencer grabbed her by the sleeve.

"Just wait a second." Emily stopped moving. The girl would always have a heart, would always give a second chance, Spencer knew it by experience; and she also deserved one, apparently, because if everybody else had gotten second chances with Emily, why not her, who was her best friend and partner in crime? Now she just had to make the most of it. "So I admit to freaking out on Monday. But it wasn't about this." She lowered her voice till it was only a whisper, and she approached Emily to be heard. "It wasn't about us. It was about A. And about Toby."

Emily looked at her as if she didn't believe her, but there was something that softened in her eyes, and she leaned against the locker as a way to show she was listening. The halls were emptying now. The bell had rung.

Yes, Emily would always have a heart for anyone, including Spencer Hastings, partner in crime.

"I told you it'd happen", Emily mumbled, although in truth she had never told her with actual words. "It's fine."

"We still need to talk anyway", Spencer continued, knowing she had knocked Emily's anger out of her, if only for a moment. "Let me take you home after practice."

"I brought my car", Emily answered sternly. "We can meet tomorrow or during the weekend."

"I can't wait until tomorrow and I can't certainly wait until the weekend", Spencer sounded exasperated now. "It has to be today."

She wanted to say she was going to go crazy if she had to wait another day. She wanted to say she couldn't breathe if she spent just one more day like this, or that her brain would probably explode in a bomb of thoughts and words, or that she would die of starvation because she was not able to eat either, but it all sounded too overly dramatic and she didn't want to embarrass herself. It had to be today. That was all. Today. Talk.

"I have a pap..."

"I'm going nuts like this", Spencer cut her off, and all of Emily's barriers seemed to fall down as a result of this confession. "So please let me give you a ride home. It's only a ride."

Emily still hesitated to say yes.

"What about Hanna?", Emily asked, the last remnants of her resistence putting up a fight. "Are you gonna drive her too? Cause I'm guessing you don't want her in our conversation."

Right, Hanna couldn't know. No one could know. It was their secret.

But Spencer also had an answer for this one.

"Hanna's going to the mall with Mona after seeing you swim. She told me at lunch."

Emily was almost there. She just needed a soft shove and then she'd be where Spencer wanted her to be.

Sort of.

Mostly.

"Mayb..."

"You can be the one to drive me home", Spencer pulled off her last resort, "if you don't wanna leave your car here."

However, Emily didn't want to set foot on Spencer's house for the moment. The memory of it created too much of an internal turmoil.

"No, it's okay", Emily finally surrendered. "You can take me home. I'll walk tomorrow."

"I can also give you a ride in the morning."

Emily sent her a look that said that was enough, so Spencer didn't push her luck.

"I have a class. And you do too", Emily said, taking her backpack from the floor and placing it on her back. The bell had rung minutes ago and they were late. "I'll see you later."

She passed her by at a close distance and walked away for class without looking back. Spencer reclined her head against Emily's locker and tried to make sense of the situation. She had managed to convince Emily to have a longer talk and spend some time with her, but it was going to be difficult to convince her that she had not acted thoughtlessly on purpose. She didn't know why, but every time she tried to make things better, either with Emily or in other situations of her life, she just created a bigger, scarier mess. She saw herself digging a black hole that would eventually swallow her. The image of the terrier Jenna mentioned some time ago came to her mind. It gave her the creeps, but she was the only one to blame now.

At this point, going to swim practice was not going to improve things with Emily, despite the conversation they had. This conversation was only a beginning, but she needed something else to show Emily that she did care about whatever they were going through. She remembered she had a birthday present prepared for Emily at home. She had had it for weeks now. She looked at her watch. If she skipped her Trigonometry class, she could be back at school in an hour, ready to go see Emily and then take her home. She wasn't a fan of skipping classes, but whatever. Other actions were required now. She had to be ready.

She went to her own locker and put her books inside. The halls were completely deserted now. She took her bag and left for her car.

A/N: Thanks for your reviews, people. They're very encouraging. I hope people are not getting bored with this story, because I'm having so much fun writing it. 064548: I wasn't planning on upgrading it to an M. Things are going to heat up a little, but not so much as to get an M, I think. Once again, you never know until you write it. elmopll: Hope it turns out well for you :). anonythemouse: I miss your insightful reviews!