I'm back!

Sorry, it's been a little while since my last update and I only have this short chapter to show for it. It's kind of an intbetweener chapter, I guess. I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. Thanks again to Flaminea, starryskyondragon'sback, DalishEssence, and Marika Haliwell for your comments and reviews!

RussianBear27

Chapter 14

Upon waking up the next morning Cullen was reminded why he normally didn't drink. His head felt like it was splitting open and his stomach felt as if he drank pure acid the night before. He couldn't believe he let Thrask talk him into drinking so much. The walk home was a blur of memory, as was everything else after the last round of drinks. Slowly, his mind started putting the pieces together as he forced himself to get ready for the day.

Groaning as he rolled out of bed, Cullen realized he was still wearing the same clothes he had last night. This was going to be a bad day, he could tell already. As he cleaned himself up and put himself together, the memories from the night before gradually became clearer.

Shit. He realized Thrask knew too much now and was probably already heading to the Knight-Commander to report him. He hadn't been here for six months and already he'd thrown it all away. Cullen changed quickly. His only chance was to somehow stop Thrask from getting to the Knight-Commander and somehow convince him to keep his secret. He nearly tripped over his own feet rushing to the door, but he didn't have to go far. Cullen opened the door to Thrask waiting in the hall.

"Good morning," Thrask greeted him a bit cautiously. "I, uh, I'm sorry about last night."

"It's alright," Cullen said. "About what I said…"

Knowing there were too many ears listening in the Templar Hall, Thrask interrupted him, "I have some errands to attend to in the market this morning. Care to join me Knight-Captain?"

"I suppose so," Cullen agreed albeit a little confused.

Thrask turned and lead Cullen down the hall. It seemed the Knight-Captain needed some lessons in subtlety if he was to continue on in his position. Luckily, Thrask was experienced in keeping secrets and if Cullen continued to follow his lead he felt things would turn out okay.

The Hightown market district was busy that morning, which did nothing to aid Cullen's throbbing head. Still he pressed on ignoring the pain, he was anxious to see what this was all about.

"I have no intention of informing the Knight-Commander about our conversation last night," Thrask said as they wandered through the throngs of people. "I hope you feel the same way."

In his panic, Cullen had almost completely forgotten about Thrask's confession. Somewhere out there the Templar had a mage daughter, who lived as an apostate. Thask's situation was much more severe than Cullen's and would likely overshadow any information connecting Cullen and Kali. Any punishment Cullen received would be a slap on the wrist compared to Thask's potential penalty. He could march to the Knight-Commander right now and have it all be done with. He could, but he wouldn't.

"I don't believe the Knight-Commander should be troubled with our problems. She's a busy woman, after all," Cullen decided it best to keep the confidence of his new comrade.

"Thank you, Knight-Captain," Thrask smiled.

They wandered through the market for a while longer, speaking of trivial matters in the Order. Until, they came across a large group gathering in the center of the market. Thrask suggested they return to the Gallows, but something stopped Cullen. A familiar face in the crowd was saying farewell to the gathered expedition. Cullen felt his heart sink as he spotted Kali, wrapped in the arms of another man.

"Are you alright, Cullen?" Thask asked as the other Templar simply stared.

Cullen didn't reply. He started toward them, he had to be sure it was her. It couldn't have been her. Kali wouldn't do that to him, he thought as the man planting a kiss on the top of her head. He stopped. Or would she? The last time they had spoken he had run out on her. Had left her alone in the middle of night, with no explanation, no spoken agreements.

Kali looked up and saw him. The smile on her face faded, confusing the man who held her. The man turned to see what she was looking at, facing Cullen. Garrett Hawke, of course. The warrior stood in front of her defensively, staring Cullen down. Cullen wanted to go up to them, and demand answers, but he knew he couldn't. He had pushed Kali away and now he was paying the price. Cullen turned on his heel and stormed off towards the Gallows. Kali called to him, but he ignored her cries. It took every last bit of willpower he had to walk away.

A very confused Thrask watched as the Knight-Captain turned on his heal and push past him. He locked eyes with Kali for moment, and he understood. Realizing what had just taken place, he quickly went after him.

"Cullen," Thrask caught up to him some distance away. "Was that her?" Cullen didn't reply, just continued his angry march toward the Gallows. Which only confirmed Thrask's suspicions.

Sending Garrett off was easier than Kali thought it would be. Their evening together had only left her more confused than before. She knew she should feel upset over Garrett's departure, instead she only felt a sense of relief. With him gone, she could hopefully sort out all the emotions running through her.

Kali never lied though. She would miss him and also worried for his safety, even if she knew that was foolish. Garrett was more than capable of handling any obstacle the world deemed fit to throw at him. However, she had yet to find that feeling of elation being with him, as she had with Cullen. The weird mix of joy and trepidation was all she had to go on now.

Garrett said goodbye to his mother and sister first. Telling Bethany to look after their mother, prompted a, "I can still take care of myself," from Leandra. Her son only smiled and hugged his mother for the last time. He then turned his attention to Kali, who waited quietly nearby.

"Stay out of trouble," Garrett teased.

"You know me," Kali smiled, "always finding myself in bad situations."

"Do take care of yourself," Garrett pulled her into his arms and held her.

"I will," Kali promised, "but you need to come back in one piece." She looked off in the distance as Garrett placed a kiss on the top of her head. At first she felt at peace, but then her heart filled with dread as she spotted a certain Templar across the square. Kali pulled away from Garrett, and the warrior took notice of her distress. He turned and saw Cullen heading towards them.

Putting himself between Kali and the advancing Templar, Garrett made it known he was not welcome. Cullen stopped in his tracks, a look of betrayal in his eyes as he looked to Kali. She didn't know what to do. The young Templar looked away, then turned and left the market without saying a word.

"Cullen!" Kali called after him, stepping out of Garrett's shadow. It was too late, the damage was done and Kali watch as her Templar disappeared into the crowd.

"Are you alright?" Garrett asked gently.

"I'm fine," Kali stuffed her emotions back into the box in the back of her mind. "Don't worry about it. He was going to find out at some point, I guess."

"Let's go Hawke!" Varric called as the expedition began to head out. There wasn't time for them to sort it out.

"I'll be back soon," Garrett promised.

Kali forced a smile as she waved goodbye, but inside she felt like she was falling apart. As soon as Garrett was out of sight, she let her smile disappear. Still, she couldn't let herself fall to pieces.

Making her way through the crowded market, Kali had never felt so alone. As she headed towards Lowtown, she thought about turning around and going to the Gallows. Maybe if she explained things to Cullen she wouldn't feel so horrible. She also knew it would probably only serve to further complicate matters. Instead, she kept her head down and weaved her way through the Lowtown crowds.

"Sorry I'm late, Harel," Kali called as she entered Lowtown's Apothecary and Books.

"Ah, the lovely Kaliana graces me with her presence," an old man responded from behind the counter. Kali smiled, Harel was nearly seventy and almost blind. In fact she wasn't sure if the man knew she was an elf, but at this point it hardly mattered. "I got fresh elfroot in today, and you know what that means."

"Healing potions," Kali replied. Mixing potions for Harel wasn't the most glamorous of jobs, but Kali enjoyed it nonetheless. The old man's failing sight made it difficult for him to create the concoctions that had been his livelihood for decades. That's where Kali came in. In the Circle tower she had some herbalist training, but working with Harel had taught her way beyond anything available in the tower.

Working for Harel was a welcome distraction. In her early years in the tower, Kali found the process of producing potions and salves tedious and focused her attention on her books. Now, it was more of a meditative practice that she rather looked forward to it. Harel also paid her fairly for her work, which allowed Kali to put food on her table when the jobs with Garrett were far and few between.

Getting to work, Kali arranged her tools in the back room. Harel hobbled behind her with a box of elfroot.

"Did your man finally leave on his trip?" Harel questioned her. He loved to pry into Kali's personal life. She always indulged him, because the old man had little else gossip about these days.

"Yes, Garrett left this morning," Kali replied gathering the other ingredients. "Though, I wouldn't call him my man."

"Then what would you call him?" Harel smiled.

"I don't know," Kali sighed. "A good friend?"

"You don't sound so sure, my dear."

"I'm not sure of anything anymore. He's so… wonderful, I guess. I should be happy about being with him, but I'm not. Yet, I am. I am happy to be around him and spend time with him and his family. I just… I don't know, Harel."

"Ah," the old man thought. "If there is one thing I learned with my late wife, Maker bless her soul, it's that you can force happiness. You cannot force someone to be happy, and you cannot force yourself either."

Kali thought about his words as she pressed the elfroot leaves. Things weren't any clearer than they had been when she walked in, but she felt like she had been approaching the whole situation the wrong way.

"You are young," Heral continued, "I am sure the Maker will make things clear in time."

The elf was unsure if the Maker would clarify anything, but she knew the old man was right in a sense. She would just have to trust that things would clear up in time. In the meantime, she had healing potions to make.