I entered Desiree's car quickly and closed the door behind me.
"Did anyone see you?" She asked me.
"I don't think so," I replied, putting on my seat belt as she put the car into drive.
"Here, drink this water," she said handing me a bottle of water.
"Of all nights for the Queen to want to speak with me," I grumbled drinking the water quickly. Desiree handed me another bottle of water.
"How much did you have to drink?" She asked me.
"A lot," I slurred.
"Ugh…" She said as the palace came into view.
I got out of the car, ran to the bathroom, and then went to see Rosalind and the royal publicist in Rosalind's office. Before I entered her office, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
"Come in," Rosalind's voice said strongly.
I opened the door and closed it behind me. Rosalind was looking at me up and down, judging my outfit choice. She was dressed in a suit dress while the royal publicist was wearing a pencil skirt and a ruffled white blouse. I was wearing jeans with black converse shoes, a University of Wisconsin T-shirt and a purple windbreaker jacket.
"I didn't have time to change," I said sitting down.
"I see," Rosalind said, piercing her eyes at my outfit choice.
"We are working on a statement so the papers can print it first thing in the morning. Before we publish anything, I would like to get your thoughts," Rosalind said. "Have you seen the recent article published about you and your hospital stay?" She asked me.
"Yes," I said quietly.
"This is what we were thinking of sending to press," the royal publicist said handing me her i-Pad.
The Palace is very surprised about the recent allegations of Ms. Paige Morgan's hospital visit back in October. As stated previously, Ms. Morgan was hospitalized for dehydration and a panic attack. Mental health awareness is very important in Denmark, and it is important that the Danes are here to support their future Queen as she adjusts to the Danish culture.
"I don't agree with it," I said handing the i-pad back to the royal publicist.
"Would you give me a moment with Ms. Morgan?" Rosalind said as the royal publicist got up and left the room.
"What's wrong with it?" Rosalind asked me.
"It makes it sound like I'm having mental health issues, and I can't adjust to the Danish culture," I slurred and said loudly. Crap, I thought to myself. Rosalind knew that I had been drinking.
"Where were you tonight?" She asked me inquisitively.
"I was at Sarah and Clara's apartment," I responded.
"Drinking?" She asked me, giving me her judgmental look.
"We watched the Bachelor finale. Yes, I had a little to drink," I replied.
"A little?" She asked me raising her eyebrows at me.
"A little more than I had planned on, but I wasn't planning on coming back to the palace tonight. I was going to spend the night there," I said looking around the room. I was feeling dizzy. "I didn't do anything wrong. Eddie and Desiree knew where I was."
"You are the future Queen of Denmark! You can't stay out drinking with your friends! It's unacceptable behavior!" Rosalind exclaimed.
"Parliament won't let us marry! You made sure Parliament won't let us marry with your little stunt with Kirsten," I snapped.
"Then why are you still here?" She snapped back at me. Then suddenly, her demeanor softened. She realized what Eddie was planning on doing. "Edvard is going to abdicate, isn't he?" She whispered, solemn.
"If Parliament still refuses to let us marry, yes," I replied.
"So what do you think we should do about this recent news story?" Rosalind asked, changing the subjects.
"I think I should tell the truth. If you want Edvard to stay in Denmark and if you want Parliament to give us permission to marry, I think I should tell the truth. Right now, the media has painted me as an alcoholic, as a drug addict, and now this statement is painting me as someone with mental health issues," I exclaimed. "There is nothing wrong with mental health issues, but this isn't who I am. Denmark and Parliament would love me if you would let me show them who I am!" I said with emotion, pointing to myself.
"Do you realize what a scandal it would be for the royal family?" Rosalind asked. "The King's fiancée was expecting a child out of wedlock? The media will massacre you and will drag your name through the mud," Rosalind told me firmly.
"Times have changed Rosalind. I don't think it will be a scandal. The Danish people will be understanding," I argued.
"Your drunk, and you are being brave," Rosalind said. "You don't realize what you are saying."
"I know what I'm saying!" I exclaimed.
"Are you prepared for the media slaughtering your name? Every single interview and every single press conference will be about your ectopic pregnancy. Are you prepared to handle it and relive it? Are you prepared to talk about it?" Rosalind asked me firmly.
I shook my head, got up and walked to the other side of the room.
"They will call you names…The King's Whore, the American gold-digger, and every other name you can think of and more. Are you prepared for that?" Rosalind asked me.
"The people already know," I said calmly, walking back to my seat and sitting down. "My brother yelled at the reporters to leave me alone because I just lost a baby. There is this reporter…the one I yelled at when I left the hospital…who says he knows the truth and he will reveal it to Denmark. There is this story that just came out. And this story is the truth. I don't see the point in denying it anymore," I said. "You want Parliament to approve Eddie marrying me. You want Denmark to love me. I need to show them that I am a person just like them. Losing a pregnancy is such a taboo subject. It shouldn't be. I think there would be more healing for other women who also experienced a miscarriage if we could have open discussions about it. This is the first step to doing that. I'm ready to tell Denmark the truth," I said firmly.
Rosalind looked at me surprised and as though she was thinking about what I just said to her.
"But you aren't a normal person anymore. You are soon to be a member of the royal family of Denmark," Rosalind replied.
"I am a normal person. I'm just a girl from Wisconsin who fell in love with the Prince of Denmark in college," I said looking at her.
Rosalind sighed heavily and looked at me.
"You aren't going to change your mind, are you?" Rosalind asked.
"No. I've made my decision," I replied.
"How do you plan to make your statement?" Rosalind asked me.
"I'm going to write it, and then the royal publicist can send it to the newspapers. I'll tweet it too," I said.
Rosalind sighed again and went to the door to call the royal publicist back in the room.
"Ms. Morgan is going to write a statement now. She would like to write it herself," Rosalind said.
"Can you give me a few moments to collect my thoughts?" I asked, getting up as Rosalind nodded at me.
I left the room and went outside to take a walk outside in the gardens. It was almost midnight, but I needed some air to clear my head and collect my thoughts. I sat down at a bench in front of the fountain in the garden and pulled out my phone. I tapped on Eddie's name to call him.
"Hello?" Eddie asked, sleepily. I think I woke him up.
"Hey…I hope I didn't wake you up," I said.
"It's okay. It's nice to wake-up to your voice," he said.
"I just had a thirty minute argument with your mother," I told him.
"What? What happened? I thought you were at Sarah and Clara's tonight for a girl's night," Eddie asked me.
"I was and Desiree came to take me back to the palace for an emergency meeting with your mother and the royal publicist," I said putting a strand of loose hair behind my ears.
"What's going on? I'm looking on my tablet…" Eddie said trailing off. "Oh no…your ectopic pregnancy came out," he replied to me.
"It's been out, Eddie. My brother yelled at the reporters to leave me alone because I miscarried my pregnancy. The one reporter who I yelled at told me that he knew my secret and would tell everyone. I don't see the point in hiding the truth anymore," I told Eddie.
"So, you want the statement to tell the truth?" He asked me.
"Yes. I'd rather tell the truth than continue to be painted as an alcoholic and a drug addict by the media," I told me.
"I'm concerned about what the media will say about you," Eddie said carefully. "And since it's true, it will affect you more. I remember how hard it was for you when you lost the baby. I don't want to see you go through the emotional pain again," Eddie told me.
"I know but I think it's important for Parliament and Denmark to get to know the real me." I replied.
"I support whatever decision you make but make sure you don't rush into a decision," Eddie told me. "I have a feeling though you already made your decision before you called me," he said.
"You know me too well," I said laughing.
"I miss your laugh, and I miss you," Eddie told me.
"I miss you too," I told him. "Only four more days," I told him.
"I love you Paige Morgan, and I know that you will make the right decision," he told me.
"I love you too. I can't wait to see you again," I told him.
"I can't wait to see you either. You're constantly in my thoughts. I think about how much fun would have in England," Eddie told me.
"Awww. I really wish I could kiss you right now," I said smiling.
"Trust me, me too," Eddie told me. "I'm going to go back to sleep. I'll see you soon and talk to you tomorrow."
We said good-bye to each other, and I pulled up a note on my i-Phone. I was going to work on my press statement.
Research shows that one is every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. In October, I became a part of this statistic. As many of you know that I was hospitalized in the fall. There were various stories such as dehydration, panic attack, nausea, alcoholism, and a drug overdose. As a result of recent news events, I decided it was time to tell the truth about my hospitalization. I want the Danish people to hear the truth from me and not a partial truth or another lie from the tabloids. That night is a night that will forever be ingrained in my memory. I woke up, nauseous, in extreme pain, dehydrated, losing blood and worried because I knew I was pregnant and my worst fear was coming true; I was losing the baby. In the hospital that night, I found out that I had miscarried due to the pregnancy being ectopic. The next few months were a very dark time for me as I tried to come to terms with never seeing my child. I would like to take tomorrow to remember the women who have also miscarried or lost a child. As a society, we need to be open to having a conversation about this difficult topic to help with the healing process. It all begins by having an open conversation with each other and hopefully by telling the truth, we can begin that conversation.
I re-read my note and sent it to the royal publicist before tweeting it out on my Twitter account. I went to bed that night worried about the media stories that I would wake up to tomorrow. There was no turning back now. The truth was out.