"May I ask why?"
Vara took a breath. Patroclus had spoken from behind her. She didn't look back.
"Ask what?"
Her tone was annoyed and aggravated. She knew the question and the answer both.
"Why did you proceed to try and kill me?"
"I didn't..."
She never skipped a beat before answering, emphasizing the 'didn't' part of it. Patroclus stepped up beside her. She could see him out of the corner of her eye but she didn't full on look at him. She didn't like the look on his face.
"Why didn't you?"
Vara sighed.
"I was trying to figure out something"
"What would that be?"
She swallowed. She would have to answer him sooner or later.
"If or not I cared for you. If I didn't, I could've killed you easy, but I didn't"
He smiled. She had said she cared for him, well, she hinted at it at least.
"But if you could have killed me, why were you going to do it in the first place?"
She swallowed. She wasn't ready to talk about Troilus just yet. Prince Troilus had taught her everything she knew, basically. He was her best friend. He told her to 'Never trust anyone. If you have to temporarily, at the end, you must kill them. They know too much about you and can one day betray you'.
When he had told her that in the royal stables that one-day, she wondered about their friendship. In that one-day, she had also wished they became more than friends.
Vara turned her head when a gentle hand found its way to her shoulder. She moved slowly, turning to look at him. She met his sea-gray eyes and forgot what she was thinking about. She looked away quickly, almost ashamed on how, even his eyes, made her feel.
She didn't want to trust him but she knew she had to. She knew Patroclus was a man of his word. And he was, in her experience, one of the most amiable and gentle of men she had ever met.
She tilted her head and stared at his hand upon her shoulder, studying it. As Patroclus noticed and began to pull his hand away, she placed her hand upon his. Their eyes met and she could barely stand it to hold his gaze.
Patroclus, himself, kept the gaze as he bent down, pressing his lips upon her hand, kissing her fingers gently. He stood erect again and smiled.
"I think we both know that you couldn't have killed me"
"And why not?"
"Because your soul wouldn't allow it"
"It was not the soul, but the heart. Thank my heart for saving you"
"I thank your heart for loving me"
He had smiled when he said the last part. Vara gritted her teeth and began to frown. As she pushed his hand off her shoulder she replied, "That I do not"
She tried to pay no heed to his eyes, for they hurt her when she looked into them. She knew that she couldn't have killed him if she tried. Maybe if she hadn't known him, she could have. But she did, and she was more than acquaintances with him. She was trying to deny the fact that she almost adored him.
He knew he was too quick to assume, but she had been the first woman in his life to show him something different than her family jewels or her throne. Patroclus was almost angry at the fact that she was so confusing and always had different things going through her head, it was like a million different people he had to figure out every day.
"Where are we going?"
Vara sighed and tried to look at him but her attempts failed.
"To tell your cousin that your funeral was a waste"