OMG! I'M BACK! Djari (my muse) has decided to relent on her story strike... otherwise known as writers block... grr... this one is long... i hope you like it and it wasn't just me rambling into oblivion!

BizzyLizzy - glad you like it so much! and welcome to the Reviewer Advisor Board, lol
flubber - ah, that eSunblock man... good stuff, did i say Atlantis had an iris! oh great, thanks for noting that
sqwrath - lol, very happy you like this! and welcome to the fun! read on!
AFoE - ooh... stupid thing... oh well, its good that you told me somehow! thank you!
AkimaDoll - ah, this one's from lots of people!
atlantian - yes, the very important job of the techie! a guide to a guide, lol, sounds fun
McKayLover - lol, glad you loved it! thats wasnt the right story? oh... liked it anyway!
Yarrharr - yeah, kids probably know AIM... he should have a name, Walter only got a name later!
thecrystalkey - that sounds very interesting... maybe Jack'll do something like that!
SilverRider - yeah... mckay mad would be like a bull in a china shop... or something
Romulus Magnus - lol, he should have a name! but not even Walter had an epipthet before a name!
Port-of-Seas - you have pillars in your schoolyard? cool! i'd be posessive of techie if Grodin can be killed off so fast!
fififolle - lol, glad i was able to make you happy after making you wait for soooo long for Sgt. Canada
stevewraith - hmmm... those hard carpets are no fun to fall on... glad you liked it so much tho!
Knightgirl4Jack - sergeant major canadian man huh? interesting... did he tell you that? LOL! thanks for that!
Delka - yeah, he needs an interview... i mean all the wraith get names, even fake ones, but names all the same!
Neko-Cat-Sama - lol, thanks... and the bit about the pillars loves you too!
Queen Tigeress - i know! totally unfair, he so needs a name! glad you liked the chapter!
Earllyn - lol... give the credit to the name Sergeant Canada to fififolle!

lol, i think we've all agreed, Sergeant Canada needs a name! but think of it, before Walter had a name, he didn't even have a nickname... but we've learned that if we dont press for the name of minor characters that they wont get the job done... but, at the same time, i guess minor characters given names right away die quickly... like peter... (sniffle)

anyway, on to Chapter 14!

A simple email went out to all the frightened noobs of the city:

"Meeting: in the Large Lounge at 2200 hrs/10 pm. Be there to discuss the problem!"

All of the 76 newbies in Atlantis flocked to the Lounge at ten o'clock that night. The senior noob, a military officer this time, held the meetings. See, the structure works like this: in Atlantis, you were classified as a noob for one year (Earth year). The senior noob would be just completing his or her first year in the city. So when their time came to leave the Atlantis Society of Noobs, they appointed another noob that would be finishing their first year within two months.

The Senior took on all the responsibilities – they were secretary, emailer, meeting holder and head gossiper. The group came together to talk about the problems they were having with the senior staff or what they could do to bribe Weir and stuff like that.

So they filed in and the Senior started off.

"Hello noobs of Atlantis. Today we are here to discuss the impending issue of the widely accepted "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy" email series started by Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. What is your input to this problem?"

A gaggle of scientists, who had recently come from Earth, shifted uncomfortably. They elected their Head Speaker, she was a nervous one.

"Umm… we feel that these Guides pose as a threat to our work and daily lives at Atlantis," she mumbled. The Senior leaned forward to catch her sound waves.

"How do you figure miss?" he asked.

"Well… it puts a tremendous stress on the Under Two Month noobs like myself. We don't know any of these people or if any of these people will act out if we don't follow their rules." The kind, but soft spoken doctor sat down.

"Thank you. That was the input from the Under Two Month noobs. Anything from the Under Five Month group?"

Another scientist stood up. He was covered in soot marks and everyone knew he worked with one Rodney McKay. The audience crooned in sympathy. This man was prepared; he had some papers in his hands.

"Hello all. I'm Dr. Nunez and I work with Dr. McKay. As I see it, these Guides are pretty accurate if my reaction from Dr. McKay is anything to say…" All noobs gasped, he had actually dared to discover the truthfulness of the Guides by testing them on McKay! Brave soul…

"Law number 1 from McKay's list: 'When in doubt, fire your weapon at the enemy.' While accompanying McKay offworld, we ran into some trouble. I did not have a gun on me." The military personnel cringed. "Suffice to say, McKay blew up at me for not protecting him. And when I didn't panic about it, McKay asked if I was human… I believe these Guides protect us from the bad sides of our superiors."

The Under Five Month noobs clapped for their brave soul as he sat down.

The Senior sighed. This new development had his newbies scared and he could see it. He didn't blame them for being terrified though.

"The Under Eight Monthers? Do you have anything to say?" These souls knew some of the senior staff, but the noobs mostly knew them from order giving or frantic help because the noobs screwed up.

A new Marine lieutenant stood up, he had just graduated from his Academy. "Sir," he started, recognizing the Senior as an officer. "We, the Under Eight Monthers feel that these Guides simply provide a strict guideline so noobs like ourselves don't get on the bad side of our superiors." The Marine wasn't afraid and his companions didn't look afraid either.

This was the middle group, they knew the senior staff, but they weren't getting ready to stop becoming a noob and actually work in Atlantis without the support of Atlantis Society of Noobs. This group always thought that noobs problems didn't really existed and was, therefore, not looked kindly upon.

The other noobs glared at the Marine as he sat down.

"Okay… traditional output of the Under Eights… how about the Under Ten Monthers?" This group was the most skittish as they were getting ready to move into the Senior group and getting ready to work next to the senior staff of Atlantis.

"Yes, hi… umm… we're nervous about these new laws because they make it harder to judge our more experienced counterparts. In turn, we can't judge who they are properly and being the group that'll soon be getting that chance, this frightens us. We don't know how they'll react to certain things. Think about it, any one of you could find yourselves working with a senior member and what we say will affect you too," said the young female Air Force officer/scientist. She sat down with a shudder.

A large pause settled over the Lounge as the information sunk in.

It was chilling.

"Right… Senior group of Under Twelvers, what do you guys have to say for yourselves?" Another female, a medical doctor, stood up.

"Well, we weren't nervous… but due to the Under Tens, we are now since we are the group moving into the ranks. With me, I work under Beckett. He's a sweet guy and all, but his Guide makes me very nervous to go offworld now!" She paused. "That's all I wanted to do and then the guy I work under issues a document saying don't go offworld unless someone's life depends on it. It's scary. We don't know what to think!"

The Senior was visibly shaken as he stood up this time; his Moving into Atlantis' regular personnel took place within the month. "Okay folks… voting time!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Within twenty minutes, the votes were in and sorted. The chief of voting handed the Senior the final decision.

"Okay, 79 say the Guides are a problem, 13 say it's not a problem, and 8 aren't sure yet. The votes are in and the noobs have spoken."

The Senior looked upon his charges and they were scared, even more so than when they had walked in. Some were shaking like leaves at the news – they fears had been confirmed.

"Goodnight all and that concludes this meeting of ASN."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

The next morning, all the body bags and hand guns went suspiciously missing.

love it, hate it? think it was stupid! tell me!

oh, and no the noobs didnt kill themselves, if you must, reread Guide 1 and 2, remember John says always have extra body bags and both John and Rodney say grab a hand gun? lol, just thought i'd remind you all instead having you reviewers yell at me for killing off half of Atlantis... anotheractual Guide will come soon!