One week later…
Gibbs sighed and walked out of the Director's office. Not only was he going to have to deal with Director David if Ziva didn't wake up, but he'd have to look at Tony again. He placed his hands on the balcony and stared down into the bullpen, his eyes resting on his senior field agent.
His head was in his hands, on his desk, the area around him messier than usual, his eyes fixated on Ziva's desk. He knew that it was hard on everyone, and it was exceptionally hard on Tony DiNozzo. He sighed as he started down the stairs. He didn't want to do this, not to Tony. A replacement of Ziva would be horrible for him, that would almost be like she was gone forever. He glanced down at his watch as he descended down the stairs and frowned as he realized that it was 1230h, which was normally Tony's off break for an hour to go and visit Ziva in the hospital. His break would be for a couple of hours, starting at 1200h, one hour to visit Ziva and then another to 'collect himself'. The elevator doors chimed open, and he watched as the replacement walked out. McGee's eyes quickly snapped up to the elevator doors before greeting his boss.
"Afternoon, boss." Gibbs nodded at McGee before stopping in front of the entrance to the bullpen. The new recruit, a box full of her stuff, stopped in front of Gibbs.
"Special Agent Gibbs?" She asked, "I'm Lindsay Trace. The replacement for Officer David?" She asked, sticking out her hand. Gibbs watched as his senior field agent's head snapped up at the word 'replacement'. It was only then that Gibbs realized that Tony's eyes seemed darker than normal.
Gibbs sighed, Tony, what the hell are you doing to yourself? He felt the urge to smack him for draining his life just like Ziva's life was draining, but he only knew that that wouldn't be proper.
"Replacement?" Tony asked, "What replacement? She didn't…" he looked down at his watch, "I'm late…" he flipped out his cell phone, "The hospital didn't call me…did she…is Ziva…?" Tony asked before Gibbs finally caught on to what he was trying to say.
"No, you idio…DiNozzo, she's not dead." Gibbs turned back to the confused new recruit, "Agent Trace. Make yourself comfortable." He said before shooting a look at Tony, and the recruit made its way to Ziva's desk, getting ready to set her stuff down on top of it when McGee stopped her.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." He said, and she furrowed her eyebrows together. McGee had to admit that she was rather pretty, long brown hair that bobbed on her shoulders as she walked, and a cute, small face with a dashing smile. He was surprised that Tony didn't say anything…well, actually, he wasn't. This was a Tony he'd never seen before, and it was nice to see someone who cared.
"Why not?" She asked, and McGee walked over to her, taking a quick look at Tony, who returned to his position with his head in his hands.
"Uh…I'll tell you later. How about you go and sit over there?" he asked, pointing to the 'new recruit' desk in the corner. She sighed.
"Great. So you guys working on any cases?"
"Just Tony's head case."
"Shut the hell up, McGee!" Tony suddenly said, standing up and shoving his chair in, "I don't need any of your bull shit, all right? I'm gonna go see Ziva now, if you don't mind, probie. Tell boss I'm taking my time off starting now." He said before snatching his keys and cell phone up before glaring at McGee one more time before heading towards the elevator.
"Who's Ziva?" Lindsay asked, and McGee smiled at her.
"Officer David. Tony's partner. And something more."
"Oh." She said, smiling a little, "That's cute. Do you have a picture of her?"
McGee thought for a minute before a thought crossed his mind, "As a matter of fact, I do. I was supposed to delete them, after Ziva threatened to kill me if I didn't destroy them as well as poke out my eyes, both of them. Of course I didn't. Photo credit goes directly to Agent DiNozzo himself."
"Agent DiNozzo….that's the guy that's Ziva's partner." She said, looking up at Tim, "Right?"
"Yup." McGee smiled as he clicked on the file on his computer. The three pictures popped up, and Lindsay smiled.
"She's gorgeous. And by the way, I'm not lesbian, but those are hot pictures! Jeez." She said before looking around and bending down, lowering her voice, "Has Agent Gibbs seen these?" McGee looked around too and bent down next to her.
"Nope. And I don't plan on him to. Seems like you know the personalities of the team already. Well most of it. Tony doesn't act like that all the time, and Ziva…you've never met her. I'm sure you'd love our forensic scientist, come on, let's go!"
"Okay!" She smiled before following him out of the bullpen.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Tony!" The short Asian woman behind the counter called out, running towards him, her hands wide before smiling and throwing her arms around him, "How is my favorite Tony?"
"Just fine." Tony said, giving a small, sad smile.
"Great!" She said, her Chinese accent thick, "The same as usual? A dozen red roses?"
"Yup. And a card." He said, and she grabbed the bouquet out of the fridge, holding him the bouquet.
"I already made it up for you, hope you don't mind."
"Not at all, Pauline." He smiled, "Thanks for putting up with me for the last week."
"Well tell me, Anthony DiNozzo, when will I finally meet this 'Ziva' of yours, hmmm?"
Tony signed the credit card slip and then took the bouquet, "Hopefully soon." He said before nodding goodbye to her and then leaving the florist in the Hospital.
A couple of doctors came out and nodded their 'hellos' to him, and he just nodded back, smiling with his lips closed as he stepped into the elevator. Ziva was still in ICU, for they couldn't move her out of there until she got out of the coma…or she died. Tony shuddered at the thought. She couldn't die. Not Ziva. Tony didn't understand what exactly he did in his life to deserve such a horrible punishment, to lose all of the women in his life? The last week had been pure torture, pure hell, each day slowing down and making the seconds tick by slower. The elevator doors suddenly opened, and, without signing it, he walked right into the ICU unit.
He didn't ask. He didn't need to. He had been spending his nights there when Gibbs didn't know it, holding Ziva's hand as he slept awkwardly in the chair; he wanted to be the first one to know that Ziva was awake. If he could stay there the entire day, he would, and he wouldn't even need a movie. Okay, he lied. He could need at least one a day, but still, he could just watch her all day and he'd be happy. Well not…happy…until she woke up.
He hummed a song to himself as he walked down the corridor towards Ziva's door. He peeped through the glass door to see his Israeli's face when all of a sudden he stopped in his tracks. There were about four or five doctors in the room, the ones on the other side of the bed covered in blood coated scrubs, masks on their faces as they hurried around frantically. He saw a jolt of her legs from underneath the covers, and even through the glass, he could still hear them shouting orders at each other. "Clear!" He heard someone scream as they held her down before Tony saw them use the heart defibrillator again. Everything else was just a blur as a Doctor came running out, throwing off his mask.
"We need doctors in emergency surgery right now! We've got a patient who's gone into hypovolemic shock during her coma! Her blood supply got cut off nearly twelve to twenty hours ago. We need to do emergency surgery before we lose her! NOW!" And that was when Tony did the most unmanly thing he'd ever done in the entire world; he let a lone tear fall down his face as he stared down at the ground. And, as if someone had turned on the water, all of the tears flowed out, he couldn't stop it. He looked up and blinked as he watched Ziva get moved quickly out of the ICU unit and down to the ER. A couple of Doctors ran out of other, unknown doors to Tony, and hastily put on their jackets, shouting orders to one another. He stifled his sobs and tried to pull himself together as he pulled out his cell phone.
"Yeah, Gibbs."
"B…boss…" Tony sniffled, as that he couldn't keep the sound of him crying out of the atmosphere. Stop it Tony! Not with Gibbs! No! He quickly wiped away his tears.
"Tony? That you? You don't sound too good, what's wrong? She didn't…Tony, she didn't…she's not…gone, is she? No, she's not. I would have felt it. I didn't give her permission to die."
"No, boss." Tony said, "She just went into hypovolemic shock...whatever that means. Apparently her b-blood supply was cut off nearly twelve hours ago. She's undergoing surgery now."
"I'll be there. Just hold on, Tony."
"Right." Tony mumbled as he closed his phone, staring back into the room that Ziva had previously occupied, the many bouquets of red roses sitting there, in the window sill. A couple 'Get Well Soon' balloons from McGee and Abby were dangling there as well, and Tony sighed as he stared down at the floor, noticing the trampled over red roses that had been so full of life just seconds before, and then deprived of life seconds later, "Just like Ziva." Tony muttered as he sat down on the bench, wondering just how much he could take before he finally snapped. No movie he could recall had been in as bad a situation as he was in.
He sighed. He couldn't even imagine life without her. Sure, she yelled at him, sure, they had their fights, but they had managed to pick out the good in each other, they had managed to trust each other completely in the others hands. Either Ziva was trusting her life in Tony's hands more than before, or God was testing his power of whether or not he truly was in love with her, he didn't know.
However, if he lost Ziva, he knew one thing; one was good, and one was bad. The bad part was that he was going to resign from NCIS. He knew that Gibbs would oppose it at all costs, but Tony didn't feel like walking in places where he knew he was going to have such fond memories of her. He'd move to some other place, like Texas or Minnesota, or maybe even move back to Ohio. But definitely not DC or LA. The other thing he knew, the one good thing he knew, was that he knew that the last thing that Ziva had in her mind were the words he'd been trying to find for four years, all summed up in three little ones: I love you.
At least she would know.
But he couldn't even imagine how he would have felt if he hadn't told her that. If he lost her, and he didn't tell her that? He couldn't imagine the guilt he would have felt, just like he couldn't imagine growing up for anyone but her, couldn't imagine wanting someone to stay alive so badly before in his life, couldn't imagine placing his life into anyone else's hands every day, and couldn't imagine falling this deeply in love with anyone but her.
Imagine there's no heaven Imagine there's no countries You may say I'm a dreamer Imagine no possessions You may say I'm a dreamer
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
Imagine, John Lennon