Title: Last Words

Word Count: 1172

Characters: 11th Doctor and Clara Oswald

Summary: Clara reflects on how much the Doctor has changed her life (and what she can't stand about him). Drabble of sorts

Rating: T

Song Lyrics: "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance (really good song btw)

AN at the bottom

Now I know
that I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's you're...

And I know
there's nothing I can say
to change that part.
To change that part.
To change...

So many
Bright lights to cast a shadow,
but can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding, I get so weak.
A love that's so demanding, I can't speak.

She's only just met him, really. It hasn't been more than seven trips, but she feels as if she has known him for a lifetime. She doesn't know what it is about him or why, but she thinks he's bloody brilliant.

He's like this beautiful song that is stuck in your head, but you can't remember the exact melody so it's always changing but it's always the same and it's wonderful. Her days with him - she loves them just as much as he treasures his TARDIS.

He's showing her all these gorgeous things at all different times and its weird and it makes her head hurt knowing that she should be in the twenty-first century, but it's amazing, and she wouldn't change it for the world (or the universe, for that matter)

He's her little secret (well, actually he's almost a foot taller than her so he's not that little, but you get the picture), and she is rather happy with the idea that she gets to keep him all to herself. He's her precious gem; he's always there, even when he isn't and she's so thankful that she has a friend like the Doctor.

She knows it sounds crazy, goodness she still hasn't wrapped her head around the concept of aliens and time travel, but she's glad this ridiculous boy tie clad man came to take her to the vast infinity of the Universe. She doesn't ever want to go back to that platonic lifestyle of living to die. He's showing her that there is so much more to life than just, I don't know, living it – he's showing her what being alive feels like and she feels it. She feels her bones and her muscles become stiff with elation when he holds her hand and, she sees all these strange life forms that sometimes aren't all that pretty to look at but they are living, and it's wondrous.

She loves being so vivacious and she can't thank him enough, not now and not ever, because what has the tiny, ordinary human girl have to offer to a mythical being, a practical god, who shows her what the world, and so many other worlds are actually like? She knows he's not just a man, despite all the times that he's told her he and humanity aren't all that different.

She knows that he feels guilt and sadness and anger and rage better than most, but everybody has a run in with those timeless feelings in their life. She knows that he has to hearts and he's the last of his kind and that he's lonely and he needs a friend, but unlike mankind who really just ignores these panging notions, he embraces them. He tries to make something better out of his pain and loss and loneliness and she admires him the most for that, but she also hates him the most for that.

She hates his unnatural canniness to be good – he is goodness and for her, that's just not human enough. She hates how he would sacrifice himself to save a world; does he not realize that he's her world? Does he not realize how selfless he is? Does he realize that's she's so madly in love with him that she doesn't even know it yet?

No.

Because as much as he is selfless, he is selfish too. (Another character trait of his she can't stand. She's such a hypocrite it's sickening, honestly). He never seems to notice anything but himself, except when he wants too. It's always 'Doctor this!' or 'Doctor that?'. It's never about the companion, she knows that and she accepts that, but it doesn't mean that she has to like it. She knows (when he is making executive decisions to leave her behind in a particular dangerous situation) that he is usually just trying to keep her safe, but it makes her feel as if she's some type of burden.

But, all that aside, she loves the journeys because he noticed her; an ageless child from another planet and another time noticed her out of all the people and creatures in the Universe, and he asked her to travel with him – to show her time and space. How lucky is that?

Incredibly so, even for one that doesn't really believe in such a trivial thing.

And maybe, she thinks, that's why he chose her. Because she didn't believe in much anymore; her mother was dead, her dear friend had just died recently and she just didn't know what to do with her life. Maybe it's because though the two of them are completely different in so many countless ways, they are both so very similar that is shocking.

Pain and loss are her old friends, and they are also his. She knows by the face he wears that he doesn't believe in much anymore, either. And that's what makes them so alike, so similar. And it just comes down to the basic fact that they are both tired and alone. They both need a friend.

The old man and the nanny, how very fitting.

She wishes he looked at her the way she looked at him; with this unyielding and undying affection that she doesn't even know exists – he's shown her wonders and the best and brightest of all the things he's shown her is him.

He is her favorite beauty the universe has yet created.

This ageless boy, the undying old man, and all that in-between is a wonder in himself. And she finds herself thanking all the gods out there, even if they don't exist, every day for this astonishing opportunity she was given.

She finds herself more and more alive each day she spends with him. She knows he's not a god. She knows he's not a superhero, and she knows that he's not just a man. But to her, none of that even matters. He's her friend, and she believes in him. She just hopes that he does the same.

I am not afraid to keep on living.
I am not afraid to walk this world alone.
Honey, if you stay, you'll be forgiven
nothing you can say can stop me going home

AN: LOOK WHOS BACKKKK!

Okay it's me, and you'll know (if you have read Twin Skeletons, a Clara/11 au) that I am going to be extremely busy for the next week so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update this.

Anymore, unless I get a sudden burst of inspiration, I want to be able to write based off of prompts. WHICH HAVE BEEN SEVERLY NOT PRESENT *cries*

Please please please send me prompts I don't care how. (But I s2g if someone sends me a song *cough* a thousand years *cough* I'm going to rip my hair out.

I would really appreciate scenarios, maybe three words or so, a place, a thing/color, and a verb with either 12/Clara or 11/Clara. (That would be absolutely lovely!

Alright so. It's been a long while since I have updated this fic. Wow like March something and I feel really bad about that, really I do, so I hope this makes up for it!

Please- follow favorite and review (with prompts if you don't mind!)

bleuboxes