A/N - Hey everybody! I know, this is my shortest break between updates ever, but oh well. I was extremely bored and felt like updating.
Just a warning - if it looks like I skipped from idea to idea in this chapter, it's because I did. I started off they way I did because I love this part in other stories, and I know I left it a bit late but...yeah. After that it kinda meanders along, but there is a bit of a central plot.
Just to remind everybody - the disclaimer in chapter 3 goes for all chapters.
On with the story! =)
Chapter 13
"You know," remarked James sleepily, dumping his bag on the floor and taking a grateful sip of pumpkin juice, "I'm surprised that insane house elf didn't turn us in."
"Well, he does hero-worship Sirius." yawned Remus, loading his plate with eggs and bacon. "Mail's here." he added, glancing up at the hundred-or-so owls streaming into the Great Hall.
A large, imperious eagle owl landed next to Sirius, sticking out its leg, attached to which was a bright crimson envelope, and hooting haughtily.
Sirius sighed and took the letter. "I was wondering when she'd send this….Thanks, Herpo." The owl hooted arrogantly and flew off.
"Your Mum?" asked James sympathetically. Sirius nodded.
"Yep. That was her owl, Herpo – most conceited bird I've ever seen. I was wondering why she didn't send it earlier, though. Probably had more 'important' things to do." He laughed bitterly. "Ah, well, might as well open it, I guess." He slit the envelope open and at once a shrill, furious voice filled the Hall.
"HOW COULD YOU HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN, YOU SHAMEFUL, FILTHY, TRAITOROUS WRETCH?! HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH THE FAMILY NAME! SEVEN GENERATIONS OUR FAMILY HAS BEEN IN SLYTHERIN, AND NOW YOU, YOU INSOLENT, UNGRATEFUL TURNCOAT, DARE TO BREAK TRADITION AND GO INTO GRYFFINDOR, CONSORTING WITH MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS!" Sirius glanced apologetically at Lily, who looked astonished that anyone would speak like that. "YOUR FATHER AND I DEMAND YOU SPEAK WITH DUMBLEDORE IMMEDIATELY AND SWITCH TO SLYTHERIN, AND UNTIL THEN WE COMMAND YOU STOP CONSORTING WITH THAT DISGRACEFUL, MUDBLOOD-LOVING POTTER WHELP AND YOUR OTHER LITTLE BASTARD 'FRIENDS.' WE HAVE COMMANDED BELLATRIX AND NARCISSA TO WATCH YOU AND MAKE SURE YOU GET INTO SLYTHERIN – DON'T, BOY, AND YOU WILL REGRET IT!" And with that threat lingering in the air the letter tore itself into tiny pieces and lit on fire.
Ears ringing with fury, Sirius stood up, swung his bag over his shoulder, and stormed towards the door, ignoring the frantic whispering now filling the Hall.
"Sirius?" said James, pushing open the thick wooden door to the Room of Requirement and poking his head in. "Mind if I come in?" Sirius didn't answer, which James toke as a sign that he could enter.
Closing the door carefully behind him, he walked over and sat down in one of the low-slung chairs, opposite Sirius. "So…." he began awkwardly. "You do know that we're 10 minutes late to Herbology?" Sirius shrugged but didn't say anything.
James sighed. "Look, Sirius – "
"I'd rather not talk about it, alright?" Sirius interrupted angrily. "My family's just a bunch of fanatic idiots, that's all there is to it."
James was silent for a moment, then said quietly "I know you aren't going to switch to Slytherin, but what are you going to do about your parents? Your Mum sounded like she'd kill you if you didn't switch…." Sirius smiled bitterly.
"My entire family's a bunch of pureblood fanatics, James. You know the family motto? ToujoursPur – forever pure. The whole thing is just insane – ever since I was eight they thought I was some sort of freak because I refused to act like them. Now my Mum hates me, my Dad thinks I'm a disgrace and is considering disowning me, and my perfect little pureblood brother is following right in their footsteps. I just can't stand it anymore."
James was silent a moment, then grinned. "What d'you reckon they'd do if they knew you turned Professor Cattivo into a midget?" Sirius laughed.
"Mum'd kill me – she's a distant cousin of mine."
"You're late, boys." said Professor Sprout disapprovingly. "Five points each from Gryffindor. Now, go sit down."
James and Sirius hurried over to sit by Peter and Remus. "Hey," said Remus, moving his bag over to make room for Sirius and James. "You alright?"
"Never better." said Sirius cheerfully, pulling on a pair of jet-black, dragon hide gloves. "We have this lesson with the Slytherins, don't we?" He gazed around eagerly and spotted Snape – he grinned delightedly. "Brilliant."
Remus raised an eyebrow at James, who shrugged. "You sure you're alright?" asked Remus again. Sirius frowned at him.
"My family's a bunch of zealous idiots, alright? I got over that three years ago. Now, are you going to help me curse Snape or not?"
"Sirius – "
"Now, this is alkanet." said Professor Sprout, interrupting Remus. "The only part of this plant that has any magical properties is the root; the rest of it is completely harmless. However," she glanced sternly at Sirius and James, though her gray eyes were twinkling, "The root, if digested, will give you severe, er, anatomical problems." James and Sirius grinned at each other. "So, be careful none rubs off on your hands. Get in groups of no more than four and put the roots in the provided buckets."
"What does she mean, 'anatomical problems?'" asked Sirius, eyes glinting mischievously. "Think it'll make Snivellus grow an extra head?"
James laughed. "Bet Evans knows, I'll go ask her." He stood up and sauntered over to where Lily was sitting with several of her friends. "Hey Evans," he said casually, straddling the seat across from Lily.
She stared at him with great dislike. "What do you want, Potter?" she spat. He frowned at her.
"Just wanted to ask a question!" he said, raising his hands innocently. "Me and Sirius were wondering what exactly this root thingy does."
"Why do you want to know?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.
"Evans, don't you trust me?" he asked, affecting to be hurt. "We were just curious."
"It has strong shape-shifting properties." she said at last, throwing a root into the bucket at her feet. "It'll turn whoever eats it in its raw form into a worm."
"What?!" said James, laughing. "Are you serious? Ah, this is great, Evans – thanks." Jumping to his feet, he darted back over towards the table where Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting for him.
"Well?" said Sirius under his breath. James grinned.
"My dearest Marauders, by lunchtime we shall be saying hello to Snivellus the Worm."
"Hullo, Snivellus." said Sirius loudly, sauntering over to the Slytherin table with James. "I see you still haven't washed that slime you call hair…."
"Why, if it isn't the traitorous wretch and the Potter whelp." said Snape smoothly, his hand in is pocket clutching his wand. "Disposed of your followers, have you?"
Sirius growled and started forward, but James grabbed his arm and held him back. "Recruited some bodyguards, eh, Snivellus?" said James, grinning cockily at Snape and several large fifth years surrounding him. "Is eating lunch too scary for poor baby Snivellus, does he need the big, tough fifth years to make sure his potatoes don't attack him?" He waved his hand over Snape's plate, knocking over his glass of pumpkin juice onto his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay. He smirked. "Oops, sorry…."
Eyes flashing furiously, Snape stood up and drew his wand. "Draaitierisch!'' he hissed, flicking his wand at Sirius and James.
"Protego!" shouted Sirius – an instant later he heard James yelp as he was hit by a jet of deep purple light. Squinting, he lowered the shield and gasped in horror. Where a second ago James had stood there was now a tiny, fluffy, jet-black poodle.
The entire Slytherin table erupted in laughter – Sirius grinned despite himself. "Hate to say it James, but that was a pretty good one." The tiny dog growled and bit Sirius' foot, the only part of him he could reach.
"Ouch – alright, I get the point…." Sirius raised his wand until it was pointed at Snape's smirking face. "Change him back, Snivellus."
"What's going on here?" Professor McGonagall had swooped down on them, her eyes flashing furiously.
"Snivellus turned James into a dog, Professor." said Sirius immediately, pointing down at the jet-black poodle yipping plaintively at Professor McGonagall's feet. She frowned.
"No first year could have done this, Black." she said sternly. "Now, go back to the Gryffindor table, and no more magic. And take your dog with you." she added, stepping back from James as he began to whine and pull on her robes.
"But, Professor – "
"No arguments, Black." Grabbing his arm, she marched him over to the Gryffindor table; James, barking in alarm, hurried after them amidst continued gales of laughter from the Slytherins.
"Um, Sirius?" asked Remus apprehensively, "What are you doing with a poodle?"
"This, gentlemen," said Sirius grimly, setting the dog down on the table, "Is James."
It took a moment for the absurdity of this statement to sink in. Then Peter began to laugh and Remus grinned. "No, seriously, Sirius."
"I am being serious!" he said indignantly, as the small dog growled at Remus. "We went over to put that alkanet root in Snivellus' food and he turned James into a poodle, and McGonagall wouldn't believe me." He scowled at her retreating back. "Fortunately," he said, brightening suddenly, "Any time now Snape should be having some 'anatomical problems….'" There was a sudden uproar at the Slytherin table and Sirius sniggered. "Snivellus the Worm….Ouch! James!" James, attempting to steal some of Sirius' stew, had instead latched himself firmly onto his friends' finger and refused to be shaken off.
"Oh, how cute!" said Lily, walking over to Sirius and peering at James. "You got a puppy! Can I play with it?"
"What?" said Sirius, looking alarmed. "Oh…I dunno…." Lily ignored him and picked James up.
"He's so adorable! What's his name?"
"Um…."
"Oh, can I name him?" she asked eagerly. She held him up so they were eye to eye with each other. "Hmn, what to call you…."
"Is that really James?" hissed Remus under his breath, leaning over so only Sirius could hear him.
"Yes! Now help me, it looks like Evans is about to steal him…."
"Aw, Sirius, look…." said Lily delightedly, cuddling James so close he looked like he was about to suffocate. "He likes me!"
"Um, Lily…." said Remus hurriedly, jumping to his feet and prying James away from her, "I think Sirius would, er, like his poodle back…."
"Wait, I still have to name him!" she said, clutching James even tighter. Face brightening suddenly, she held James up again and said excitedly "I've got it! He can be called Snuffles!"
Aghast, James looked pleadingly up at Sirius, who had stuffed his hand in his mouth to keep from sniggering, and Remus, who was hard pressed to keep a straight face as he said "That's, er, great, Lily…really great…."
"Well, well…if it isn't the wretch and his faithful gang of admirers." Bellatrix had strode over to their table, her left hand held palm-up in front of her. Her lips curled up in a sneer. "And the poodle whelp."
Lily looked scandalized. "Snuffles is not a whelp!" Bellatrix' eyes flashed menacingly.
"How dare you talk to me, you mudblood filth."
James snarled furiously and leapt out of Lily's hands and onto Bellatrix. Growling angrily, he scratched her hands and arms, tearing deep gashes in her apparently brand-new robes.
"Snuffles, no!" cried Lily reprovingly, hurrying forward and snatching James off Bellatrix. "Ugh – what's this?" A long, squirmy, sickly-white worm was squiggling in James' jaws.
"Get out of here, Trixie." said Sirius softly, stepping forward in front of Lily to gaze furiously at his cousin.
"Not until you change Snape back." she said smoothly, pointing to the worm, which James had spat onto the table. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.
"That's Snivellus?"
"You turned Snape into a, into a worm?" gasped Lily, horrified. "I knew Potter was up to something when he asked me what alkanet root does…." She glared severely at Sirius. "How can you even think of having a dog when you and your insane little friend are so irresponsible? For his own safety I'm taking Snuffles with me." Turning sharply on her heel, she strode off down the Hall, James gazing desperately over her shoulder.
"Sorry!" mouthed Sirius, wincing guiltily. Bellatrix laughed derisively.
"Has poor ickle Sirius lost his filthy friend?"
"Shut up." growled Sirius. "Take back your worm and go back to your little Slytherin friends."
She gazed at him coolly. "Change Snape back, and be quick about it. You have a meeting with Dumbledore after lunch."
"What?" yelped Sirius. "Why?"
"To discuss your transference to Slytherin." she said, eyeing him with ill-concealed revulsion. "If Slytherin will have you, of course. Now, hurry up and –"
"I'm not going into Slytherin, alright!" shouted Sirius, his eyes flashing furiously. "I don't care what Mother and the rest of you neurotic idiots think, I'm staying in Gryffindor. If she couldn't even bother sending me a howler until two weeks after I was sorted – "
"How dare you speak of our family that way, you insolent fool." hissed Bellatrix. "Your mother demanded that you see Dumbledore and so you will. Now, change Snape BACK!"
Sirius glowered at her. Just then Professor McGonagall strode over to them, looking furious. "Just what is the problem here, Ms. Black, Mr. Black?"
"I'm not seeing Professor Dumbledore after lunch today, Professor." said Sirius loudly, his ears ringing with anger. Professor McGonagall looked startled.
"The Headmaster specifically requested an attendance with you…."
"I'm not going." he said flatly. Turning, he hurried after Lily, yelling over his shoulder "And keep your worm, Trixie."
A/N - That's it for now! I hope you like it - it was one of my stranger chapters. I really have no idea where the whole poodle thing came from, but it was fun to write =) I always wondered why Sirius would want to be called Snuffles - it doesn't really seem like him, does it? Nostagalia, that's my answer. =) And now, to respond to my reviews!
Misthea - sorry about the length - it was actually 3 pages on Microsoft Word, but it always gets really condensed when I update. This one's a bit longer, though. And yes, I know what you mean about Sirius. =)
mydream - Thanks!
BluePhoenixFire - You reviewed! I was starting to get worried after my last chappie was up for a week and you didn't review =). Thanks, hope you like this chapter too.
Padfoot - Haven't been reading my fic lately, have you? Five never-read-before chapters and you didn't read or review them?! How could you? Read this one and review and maybe I'll forgive you =). Oh, and by the way, my animagus is a wolf.
That's it for now! Hopefully I'll get more reviews next time - I love reading and responding to them, especially longer ones. Next chapter will find the three Marauders (attempting) to change Snuffles back - to see whether they succeed or not, REVIEW!!!
Oh yes, and before I forget, if anybody knows how old Sirius and Remus are as of book 5 would they please review this and tell me? It might be important for chapter 18. Thanks!