Chapter 14 - Lament
Brenda and Liz quickly changed and took off their makeup.
"You okay?" Brenda asked. "You were pretty quiet today."
"Jason told me what happened with Keesha, so I just have a lot on my mind."
Brenda averted her gaze. "Oh." With the anniversary at the end of the week, Jason is going to have a hard time.
"I feel like it changes everything."
Brenda frowned. "Why?"
"I don't know if I can reach him."
"You already have," Brenda said softly. "I'll be right back."
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She left the room and found Jason staring out of a window with no one else was around.
She approached him and leaned on his arm. "Hey."
"Hi."
"What are you thinking about?"
Jason looked at her suspiciously. "What are you up to?"
She cleared her throat. "I know what Friday is, Jason," she said holding his hand.
He gripped her hand tighter. "It seems like it was yesterday."
"I know. I just want you to know that I am here for you."
"Thank you. Can I apologize ahead of time if I argue with you more than usual?"
Brenda chuckled. "I'll give you a pass." She stepped in front of him and took his other hand in hers as well. "I have watched you be miserable for three long years." Tears fell down her face. "I want you to be happy again. I need you to be happy again. Please don't go another year like this. You are a good man and it wasn't your fault." Jason closed his eyes as a tear fell down his face. "I will say that over and over until you hear me. I don't want you to stay broken forever."
He sighed. "I'm scared of letting myself feel again and then losing…" He stopped and tried to compose himself.
She touched the side of his face. "If you don't try, this is going to eat you alive."
Sonny walked up behind them. "Is everything alright?"
Brenda hugged Jason and then moved around him. "It's fine. Come on." She dragged Sonny away, as Jason struggled to get control.
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Jason sat up front on the drive back to Port Charles dreading the next week. He glanced at Bella a few times in the rearview mirror, wishing that he could give her a chance, but his heart was so broken and he really needs to find out who Bella is so she could get some closer too.
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The next morning, Sonny and Jason have a meeting in his office.
"We have a new threat," Sonny said handing Jason a file.
Jason flipped through the pages.
"His name is Lorenzo Alcazar. He's interested in using some of our warehouses for his arms shipments."
"I see. You have Johnny on him?"
"Yes. He came into town last week and he also brought a house. It's clear that his intentions are to stay here."
"How do you want to proceed?"
"We'll do nothing for now but monitor his movements."
"Sounds good. I'll take care of it."
"Jason, I spoke to Brenda…"
"Sonny, please, you don't have to say anything."
"Yes, I do. We're friends and I want you to take Friday off."
"I'd rather work."
"Why, so you can stay stuck in all this grief you've decided you somehow deserve?"
"This is none of your business." Jason stood.
"The hell it isn't. Jason, you need to deal with this. It is eating you up inside. Do you really think that Keesha would want this for you?"
Jason's shoulders dropped. "I just can't—I feel so bad and it hurts so much." He dropped back onto his chair.
It killed Sonny to see Jason in so much pain. "I know you loved her, but you can't punish yourself like this forever."
Jason stood again. "I'm doing the best I can Sonny. I need to go."
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Jason drove towards the cemetery as Liz made her way to the Metro Court after her doctor's appointment. When she spots him turn down a street, she asks Milo to follow him. Milo pulled up behind Jason's car and turned to her. "I don't know if you should go in there."
"I have to do this." She climbed out of the car and then started to look for him and was just about to give up when she heard someone talking and followed the voice.
"Hi, beautiful," Jason said softly. He laid some flowers down on her grave and then looked up at the sky. "I know you're here with me. I can feel you sometimes." He cleared his throat. "I'm having some difficulty getting over what happened. I don't know if I can do it. It hurts so badly. I am so sorry for what happened. It's all my fault and I just can't let it go."
Liz wiped away a tear and moved behind him and when her fingers lightly brushed his shoulder, he jumped and called out, "Keesha?"
His head jerked and Liz, who is crying comes into view. "Bella?"
She crouched down next to him. "I'm sorry for interrupting," she said to a surprised Jason who couldn't say a word.
She turned towards the gravestone. "Hello, Keesha. I am Bella. I just want you to know that Jason has a lot of friends who care about him. I don't want you to worry. We'll take care of him. "
She stood and touched his shoulder again. Jason touched her hand and then she turned and went back to the car.
"You okay?" Milo asked when he saw the tears.
"Yes. Let's go."
Jason stayed for a few more minutes and then stood and gazed at her gravestone one last time. "I will always love both of you," he said softly before walking away.
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Jason drove towards Sonny's house wanting to find the spot where he had found Bella that night. He had already sent someone out to check but since they were at a dead end with clues, he wanted to look around himself. He got out of the truck and walked around a few minutes before finding a little piece of the dress she had been wearing that night and knew he was in the right spot. He found a stick and moved is through the dirt. It had been cold so the dirt was hard, so it took a bit of effort. Undaunted, he poked around in the dead grass and he thought he saw something shiny and frantically moved the grass around before locating a piece of broken chain with a locket hanging off of it. He sucked in his breath as he fumbled with the opening mechanism and it finally opened. There is a picture of a young Liz with a woman that he assumes was her mother. After studying it for a minute, he closed it and put it in his pocket before returning to his truck where he placed a call to Stan and asked him to meet him at his place.