Chapter 14-Arrangements and A Final Distraction

Newkirk and Carter, after leaving the Kommandantur, soon joined Kinch and LeBeau in the tunnel where the radio was.

"You two were bloody marvelous," Newkirk admitted with admiration.

"Merci," said a grinning LeBeau.

Newkirk and Carter noticed Kinch had out his notepad and had crossed off Klink and Schultz.

"Where's the Colonel?" Kinch asked.

"He just left the barracks with Schultz and headed to Klink's office," Carter explained.

"Y'know, Kinch, perhaps you should call Tiger and have her come here for her final fitting at the same time that underground agent comes as Klink's replacement."

"What are you talking about?" LeBeau asked. "Tiger just had her first fitting yesterday."

"I know that, mate. But see, after lights out last night I worked some more on the dress and it's ready for a final fitting. With any luck, I could have the dress finished tomorrow instead of the twelfth." He saw Kinch and LeBeau both look at him with raised eyebrows.

"Y'know, that might not be a bad idea," Carter explained eagerly. "I mean, with that underground agent coming this evening, if we can schedule Tiger's visit for the same time, we can have the underground agent delay Colonel Hogan's return to the barracks until after Tiger leaves." The others all looked at each other mulling over what the young Sergeant had said.

"You might have something there," Kinch agreed. "But we'd have to time it exactly. After the last time if Colonel Hogan suspects anything this time all our hard work will be revealed before time." The radioman scratched his chin lost in thought. A smile suddenly appeared.

"You have an idea, mon ami?"

"Yep. But first I have to contact the underground and schedule our new Kommandant's arrival."

"Come in," Klink said cheerily. Since he was leaving tomorrow after roll call for one week in Paris, he no longer cared what Hogan might be up to; it would be someone else's problem. And if something did happen while someone else was in charge there would be no way he could be blamed which only added to his giddiness.

The door opened and Schultz walked in with Hogan behind him and saluted. "Herr Kommandant, Colonel Hogan is here as ordered."

After returning the salute, Klink grinned at his guard with an almost cunning smile. "That will be all, Schultz. Dissss-missssed."

"Jawohl." Schultz left the two men alone and closed the door.

"You wanted to see me, Kommandant?" Hogan asked innocently.

"Yes I did, Hogan. Please, have a seat."

Sitting down, the American tossed his crush cap onto the point of the pickelhaube; Klink promptly removed it and tossed it back at Hogan who caught it and sat it on his knee after crossing his legs. "What's up?" He could see Klink was acting as if he knew something Hogan didn't.

"What's up, Hogan…" Klink began as he got up and slowly walked around to the front of the desk and sat on the edge crossing his arms so he could look the American directly in the face. "…is that after roll call tomorrow morning I won't be here."

Hogan's eyebrows shot upward as a look of shock crossed his face. "You going somewhere, Kommandant?"

"Yes I am, Hogan. And the news couldn't have come at a better time, believe me."

Hogan smiled suddenly as he grabbed his cap and stood up. "Let me guess, sir. You finally got promoted to General, haven't you? Congratulations, sir. That's wonderful!"

"Thank you, Hogan…no I haven't. What made you think I was promoted to General?"

"Well, I know how long you've been waiting for that stripe, sir, so I just assumed…"

Klink got to his feet and turned away walking back to his chair. "No I haven't been promoted Hogan. In fact, here…" he picked up the letter and handed it to Hogan who took it and began to read. "I have won first prize in the Lucky German Question Contest and the prize is an all expenses paid 7-day stay at a four-star hotel including meals and champagne."

Hogan feigned amazement and fought hard to control himself from laughing out loud again as he finished the letter before handing it back to Klink. "Congratulations, sir. That's wonderful news. I noticed it said by twelve noon tomorrow. When are you leaving?"

"Right after roll call tomorrow."

Hogan was thoughtful. "That's funny, Kommandant."

"What is Hogan?" asked Klink with a smirk.

"Well for one, I never heard of the Lucky German Question Contest."

Klink rolled his eyes with exasperation. "Hogan, you don't very much about German business, do you?"

"Not really, sir. Should I?"

"Because if you did, Hogan, you would know that the Lucky German Question Contest Company is the biggest company in Germany, next to the Schotzie Toy Company of course."

Hogan nodded. "Of course. Well, have a good time, Kommandant. I'll give you my souvenir list before you leave tomorrow. Am I dismissed now, sir?"

"Yes, Hogan. You're dismissed." He saluted Hogan who gave a lazy salute in return and started out the door. "Oh Hogan." The American paused and looked around with his hand on the doorknob.

"Yes sir?"

Klink, leaning forward with both hands face down on his desk, stared hard at the American. "Hogan, I have suspected for several days you are up to something. However, as much as I would enjoy finding out what that something is, I am very willing to let you be someone else's problem beginning tomorrow. So I suggest, if you're smart, you'll forget whatever you've got planned because I will be advising the acting Kommandant to keep a close eye on you. I trust I have made myself clear?"

"Absolutely, Kommandant," Hogan replied with a smirk. "I'll make sure the guys know to forget about your present for winning the contest." Then before Klink could respond, Hogan closed the door behind him leaving Klink balling his fists in frustration.

Kinch removed his headset and picked up his clipboard. He had a smile. "Okay, I spoke with our contact in the underground and told them we need our new Kommandant here around 1900 hours this evening. This way, Klink will have to call a special roll call just to impress the guy who afterward will insist on speaking with the Colonel alone; sort of underground agent to Papa Bear congratulating him on his marriage. When I contacted Tiger I told her to be here at 1915 hours for a final fitting. She promised she will be at the rendezvous location. LeBeau, you'll go out and bring her back. Now we won't have a lot of time so no delaying. Get her here, have the final fitting, and then get her out."

"Oui. Understood."

"Also," Kinch continued. "I suggest this time after Tiger leaves, we all be upstairs in the barracks when the Colonel comes back. This way he shouldn't have to come below and possibly smell Tiger's perfume like last time. Everybody understand?"

The others nodded their agreement.

"Who's the underground sending?" asked Carter curious.

Kinch looked at the clipboard. "Let's see. They're sending Felix again; he'll be Major Hans Zellner." (1)

"Felix?" asked Newkirk suddenly perking up. "Is he gonna bring Fraulein Schmidt with 'im as well I hope?"

Kinch grinned at the Englander as he recalled the beautiful blond underground operative who accompanied Felix to Stalag 13 before when Felix pretended to be Major Weber to fool Jack Williams, a prisoner, who was about to expose Hogan's entire operation.

"Sorry, Newkirk; not this time. Maria's on her honeymoon."

"She got married?" Newkirk asked with wide eyes. "When?"

"About a week ago."

Newkirk hung his head and shook it. "Bloody hell," he muttered. Suddenly his eyes narrowed and he looked up at the radioman. "Wait a ruddy moment. Kinch, how do you know about Felix and Maria Schmidt? You weren't even here that day. You were gone for a week on that assignment from the Colonel. We had one of the other chaps from another barracks stand in for you during that time."(2)

"I told him about it," said Hogan as he walked into the radio room. "So Maria got married, eh? Good for her. Remember to send her my congratulations."

"Already done, Colonel," said Kinch as he and the others looked around at their commanding officer.

Hogan, hooking his thumbs in his jacket pockets, looked at Kinch. "So Felix is coming as Major Zellner?"

"Yes, sir." Kinch then repeated the information regarding the underground agent.

"Good. I seriously doubt Klink will even remember him as Major Weber. He spent more time looking at Maria." Hogan chuckled and shook his head before looking at his men.

"Aren't any of you even going to ask me how things went with Klink?"

"How'd it go, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau with a grin.

"The Lucky German Question Company? I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud when Klink showed me the letter and then went on to explain how it was the second biggest company in Germany." He focused on the Englander. "Newkirk, that story has your signature written all over it."

Newkirk rubbed the back of his neck and smiled proudly. "Yes, sir. I admit it was one of me better tales. Ole Klink was startin' to doubt the letter so I had to come up with something fast."

Hogan grinned a lopsided grin. "Well, I'd better say it now before I forget to. Whatever else happens, you guys have really impressed me with your ingenuity with these arrangements. I really mean it. And I thank you."

The four men all looked at their commander and Hogan could see they were deeply touched by his words. He then put an arm around LeBeau's shoulders. "LeBeau, what's for lunch? I'm starved."

The remainder of the day went quickly and uneventfully. Finally, at 1855 hours per Carter's watch, He raised the faucets of the sink in the barracks which were connected to a periscope in a water barrel outside barracks two and looked through the faucets. He spotted the big, black, shiny German staff car pulling up in front of the Kommandantur. He watched as Schultz quickly walked up to the rear passenger-side door and stood at attention saluting as a tall man with light brown hair stepped out and returned Schultz's salute. He looked around and noticed the Kommandant practically ran down the steps and saluted the Luftwaffe Major who saluted as he walked past Klink, up the steps and inside the office with Klink hurrying to catch up. Carter lowered the faucets and put them back in their normal position.

"Felix just arrived," he said turning and looking at his commander and friends who were seated at the table drinking hot coffee.

"Gentlemen, shall we listen in?" Hogan calmly remarked as he got up and led them into his quarters and plugged in the coffee pot.

Felix sat in the chair under the picture of Hitler he knew contained the hidden microphone. "Now Colonel Klink, General Kinchmeyer informed me I will be taking over tomorrow morning after roll call."

"That is correct, Major."

Felix checked his watch aware of the time. He got up as did Klink. "Colonel, have you had roll call yet this evening?"

"Not yet, Major. I usually have it between eight and nine p.m. But I can call a special roll call if you'd like?"

"Excellent. Shall we Kommandant?"

"Schuuuuuuultz!" The door opened and Schultz walked in, came to attention and saluted.

"Herr Kommandant, Major."

"Schultz, call a special roll call. Major Zellner wants to see the prisoners."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant."

Unplugging the coffee pot, Hogan and his men walked back into the common room and sat down to wait. After a few minutes, the door opened and Schultz barged in.

"Raus, raus! Everybody outside for roll call! Schnell! All prisoners outside!"

Hogan looked at his watch. "Schultz, haven't you learned how to tell time yet? You're an hour early. Roll call's at 2000 hours; it's only 1900 hours."

"The Kommandant has ordered a special roll call, so everybody raus!"

Hogan led the way out the door with the others following. Soon everybody was standing in formation. Schultz counted each prisoner before turning to Klink and Felix.

"Herr Kommandant, Major, all prisoners present and accounted for."

"Kommandant?" asked Hogan sweetly.

"What is it, Hogan?" Klink asked nervously wondering what the Senior POW officer would do now to embarrass him.

"Why didn't you have Schultz tell us we had company? I would've worn my best suit instead of this old thing," he said fingering his bomber jacket. "You never tell us anything."

Laughing nervously Klink looked at Major Zellner. "It's a joke, Major. Colonel Hogan is quite the comedian."

Felix didn't smile as his face darkened and his eyes hardened. "Do you allow this sort of levity in your camp, Klink?"

"No sir," Klink replied nervously.

Felix walked directly up to Hogan until he stood face-to-face with him. "Colonel, in case you're not aware, I am taking over effective tomorrow morning after roll call for seven days for Colonel Klink. And while he may tolerate your kind of behavior, I will not. While I am in charge, any of what I consider disrespectful behavior on your part and you will find just how uncomfortable I can make things for you."

Hogan grinned. "No sense of humor, huh?"

Felix sharply turned away and rejoined Klink. He glanced back. "Colonel Hogan, as the Kommandant has to show me around and familiarize me with the camp, I insist you join us as I will want to talk with you afterward. Klink, dismiss your prisoners except for Colonel Hogan."

Klink stared at Hogan, annoyed. "Except for Colonel Hogan, all prisoners dismissed." The prisoners dispersed but Hogan remained standing in place with hands clasped behind him, a grin on his face.

By the time the men returned to the barracks, Kinch looked at his watch. It was about 1920 hours. He sought out the Frenchman and Englander. "Okay LeBeau, get going. Newkirk, go below and wait for LeBeau to return with Tiger. We have no idea how much time we have before the Colonel gets back."

Newkirk and LeBeau hurried down into the tunnels with Carter keeping watch at the door to let Kinch know when Hogan was coming. He secretly hoped they could distract the Colonel one last time with no problem. But he also knew that Felix would give them as much time as he could without making Hogan suspicious. He also hoped LeBeau didn't run into any trouble meeting Tiger or getting back to camp with her nor escorting her out of camp when he and Newkirk were done.

(1) Underground operative Felix and Fraulein Schmidt can be seen in the episode One In Every Crowd, Season 3.

(2) Ivan Dixon did not appear in the above episode.