Chapter 14

The music was pounding in the heads of the spectators. The dance crews themselves could barely think for adrenaline fueled excitement. The Great Hall was literally shaking with the thud of the base as students stomped their feet for what was sure to be the most... pathetic match of the season. DumBEATdor's Army, which by all accounts couldn't dance without gravely injuring the members, was to take on the HufflePuffDaddies, and everyone knows Hufflepuff was... well... Hufflepuff.

Gryffindor had a different lineup today, much to the surprise of the spectators, because leading the pack was Hermione Granger, a well-known prig. After her came Neville Longbottom, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley (whose milk shaking had really raised morale), and to replace Dobby, who was still recovering with Harry weeping by his side, came Dean Thomas. Hufflepuff, meanwhile, walked out in all their glitz and glam glory (mostly with the help of a bedazzler they bought over the telephone), with Hannah Abbott, Ernie MacMillian, Nameless Hufflepuff #3, Susan Bones, and Blaise Zambini composing the squad.

"You're going down! But if you go down too hard, don't worry, we brought cupcakes to make your feelings better," Hannah supposedly heckled.

"Well I don't know about their dancing, but their fashion sense, sheesh!" Ernie cried pompously. "I wouldn't BEAR having to moonwalk without my favorite fedora."

"Whatever they say," Dean Thomas whispered in Ginny's ear, "I still think you're cute."

"Dean, did you say something? Do you want to borrow my bedazzler?"

"That's not what I said, but that would be lovely," Dean whispered back like a ghost in the wind.

"Why are you whispering, Dean?" Blaise yelled. "Homeboy too nervous to talk, or do you always hush that way yo?"

Dean was incoherently quiet. "Maybe that's why he has no lines in the book. How do we even know his name, again?"

"Blaise, watch your Puff spirit if you're going to hang with us please! Unicorns!" Tonks called.

Blaise didn't have time to retort, because Lee Jordan announced it was time for the match. Hufflepuff took the "flo'", as they my have called it were they street, and danced as awfully as expected. As nice as they were to make cupcakes for everyone, the judges found themselves barfing up some of them in their mouths at the performance. Ernie was attempting a moonwalk, but not in time with Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean." Hannah, Susan, and Nameless Hufflepuff #3 were standing in a straight line and holding hands. The only person with any sort of talent was Blaise, but his dancing was so provocative, so out of control, and so pelvis-thrusta-moric, the entire student body found themselves either unable to look away or gouging their eyes out at the sight. The performance was so mentally and emotionally scarring to everyone that saw it, the Ministry of Magic had to create a new law banning its reenactment forevermore, and all the youtube videos are henceforth only viewable in Uganda and Vatican City (supposedly for "copyright" reasons to Muggles).

Gryffindor had a hard act to follow in historicity, but as far as quality of dancing went, they appeared amazing compared to their predecessors. Even if they had gone up against another house than the Puffs, they probably would've looked quite decent. Hermy-one and Neville were much more suited towards each other's breaking styles than Neville and Dobby, and amazed everyone with their spins and stunts. Ginny, armed with her now meme-worthy gallon of 2%, only added to the performance with her routine's post-modern, deconstruconalist avant guarde appeal (or so Dumbledore had dubbed it). The rest of the team shoved Ron in a corner so he couldn't do damage to the superiority of the other dancers, and Dean Thomas picked his afro in such a manly fashion whilst dancing, all the ladies swooned.

"The winner is," guest celebrity judge Gilderoy Lockhart announced, "my pants! Teehee."

"'e mea' Gryff'do'," regular judge Hagrid corrected.

All the competitors cheered, even Hufflepuff, who hugged their fellow students for beating them.

"YOU DID IT, HERMY-ONE! YOU LED US TO VICTORY!" Ron cried to his "girlfriend."

"Wait one second..." she cut in. "I... I... think you're wrong. It's coming back to me... I think my name's Hermione. Yeah! And why am I dancing? Dancing is so idiotic!"

Ron began to panic. He grabbed his wand, conjured a 2 by 4, and whacked Hermy in the back of the head with it. She toppled to the ground.

"What was I saying?" she said, seeing stars.

"You were saying how much you loved dancing and winning house points and a fabulous car, yeah that was it IM NOT LYING," Ron replied.

"Sure, whatever. Let's go, ugly boyfriend." He sighed in relief, as he joined with the other Gryffindors who were dying to cart her off to the common room on their shoulders.

"Ginny, wait!" Dean cried, before the redhead could run off after them. "I wanted to ask you, will you be my girlfriend? Your milk dance is... enticing..." he whispered sexily.

Ginny pondered for a moment. She was in love with Harry after all. But Harry was all the way upstairs! SHE JUST COULDN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE OF SUCH A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.

" SURE" she said. "You like puppies!"

"Okay," Dean replied complacently. They went to the tower to join their house in celebration.