The men had withdrawn into Abraham's room, preferring its isolation. Abraham stood while the others sat quietly in the available chairs, separating themselves from him.
"Alucard, come here."
The men barely flinched when the vampire came through the wall moments later. Red eyes sought their expressions and then stopped on Abraham's face. Alucard smirked darkly.
"Though your expressions can go for either conclusion, I'm assuming it's the less pleasant one…for myself that is. I'll be restrained and left in the cell again."
"No."
Alucard's smile fell and he watched them. "So I'm that insufferable?" amusement touched his eyes. "Though I prefer it…"
Abraham cut him off, sharpness biting into his words. "No. You will not be going to the cell." His voice wavered and he calmed it into monotone. "You will die."
Any sign of feeling left Alucard and then it returned with surprise and morbid humor. "Really?" He looked at the men separately and return his gaze to Abraham's face. "So you changed your mind?" his fangs glistened when he grinned cynically.
"No. There were two possibilities. The other wasn't your return to the cell…I had planned on your death all along." Abraham held his gaze even as the red eyes flared and narrowed slightly.
"You lied to me." The vampire's voice was quiet, all of his attention given to Abraham. "You should have just told me. I don't appreciate you lying to me, Master."
Jonathon's hand clenched at the title, but he and John were silent.
Abraham watched the anger from his slave, detachedly. "That has no consequence, Slave…for you are my slave. I can do as I wish." Alucard's eyes sparked again and a humorless smirk appeared on his face.
"Fine." He slowly calmed, continuing to watch Abraham. "Then I shall accept my end. You defeated me, you deserve to be my death."
Abraham's expression hardened. "No." Alucard's mouth twitched. "I have decided that you will take your own life." It was as if the room had exploded.
"I REFUSE!" Alucard roared, startling the men and drawing out their fear. "I will not do such a thing!" His voice began to rise as he continued. Each word was louder than the last. "I refuse such an order and will never accept it! I detest, despise suicide! It takes away the worth of life, what one has suffered, it is weak, it is…!" he choked on his words and stiffened, his face torturous before griped the fabric of his clothing over his heart. Abraham realized as the vampire fell to his knees, that the seal had reacted when he had rebelled and the growing pain was the reason for his climbing volume.
Abraham watched as Alucard was unable to speak, holding himself, bent over, on his knees…in growing agony. His shoulders twitched and an audible hiss came from his clenched teeth. If this continues…then soon…Abraham thought to himself just as Alucard crumpled on the floor.
A moment passed and the vampire's eyes opened. Abraham recoiled inwardly as he seemed to only be waking from sleep…not coming back to his undead life after his heart had been destroyed by the seal. Alucard sat up calmly and looked at Abraham. The other men were pale and John's eyes were wide with horror at the idea of what would come next and the nature of what was now occurring.
"I would rather find death with the seal." Abraham glared at him but replied quickly.
"Fine. There should be other ways. How can we kill you slave?"
John started and held his head in his hands, not looking at what was happening. He couldn't bring himself to cover his ears to completely escape what was happening, held by guilt and biting shame. Jonathon continued to watch, his knuckles white on his clenched fist.
"Stab me in the heart and cut off my head until they don't regenerate." Alucard's grin made Abraham cringe. "Drown me in the sea, though it may take me some years to die, I won't be able to escape or be found. Or use the seal to destroy my heart enough times…"
"Drown you?" Abraham frowned, taking in the information. "The undead and running water…but the sea?"
"It will do the job. I can only cross it within my coffin, with dirt from my grave or birthplace. You should remember Demeter." Abraham stiffened, scowling. He made John jump when he suddenly walked over to them, leaving Alucard as the vampire stood up.
Abraham didn't say anything. He didn't ask for an opinion. He only sought space to think.
"Why would you eventually cease to regenerate if you are able to do so now? And wouldn't I have to use the seal just as many times?" his voice was low.
"The seal is much cleaner, though possibly more uncomfortable for me. I would cease to regenerate when you kill the last life within me."
Abraham spun and stared at Alucard, his lips parted as he realized what the statement suggested.
"Those you kill…you absorb their lives and that's why you don't die?" Abraham whispered. His knuckles cracked when Alucard smiled darkly to show that he was correct. "How many?"
"It would take some time, thus the reason why I suggested the sea…"
"HOW MANY!" Abraham stormed over to the vampire and glared down into his eyes, bringing his face inches from the vampire's. "How many lives do you have inside of you?"
"Over three million…"
The men in the chairs gasped and Jonathon stood up to look at Alucard more easily. There was another gasp from John that came after the crunch of the vampire's face when Abraham struck him.
"I should torture each and every one of those lives out of you! You should suffer for such a thing!" Abraham was shaking with rage while Alucard turned his reforming face towards him.
"I will, in my place in Hell, Master. But I told you not to take on the weak characteristics of a monster. I want you to kill me because you have defeated me, proven yourself as being a man with real strength not achieved from defeat and the weakness of turning into a monster. You used your own strength. But I don't suppose that you would go to Hell for doing such a thing to me, as you said before, God and no one would care."
"You deserve to die…you believe this." Alucard's face became a blank mask as he turned to the whisper, finding John. He didn't say anything. "You've been waiting for this specific death." Alucard suddenly smirked, his eyes kindling a new fear in John.
"You now know the ultimate nature of a monster…I am not immortal but I will not die unless killed by something other than time. Why not plan a satisfying death for myself?"
Abraham's anger had been forgotten and when Alucard noticed his expression, he glared. "I don't want pity. It is useless." He glowered at the man. "They were lives I stole. Why pity the murderer as he is to be hung? Is it the concept of taking another life to gain justice for another? What I have is not life, it is not human." Alucard eased his gaze. "It is the collection of over four centuries of being what I am. In some sense, it may measure only a fraction of my legacy as a monster…though it is a legacy that will undoubtedly be erased with time, insignificant in the countless murders and deaths and sins committed every passing day."
Abraham was quiet, his confusion about his decision surfacing on his face. Alucard hardened his eyes.
"Where is your conviction? Lying to me? Playing these evasive games? You are not acting as a man in your position should, Master. Your decision for my suicide was purely from cowardice. You do not want guilt for my death, when there should be none if you are making the choice that you believe in. Kill me with a steady hand or I will only rise again."
Abraham flinched and hid his expression with irritation.
"And yes. You are acting like a child, Hellsing. Right yourself and carry forward, and take only what of the past that you can carry."
"This is my decision, Slave. Call me Master and do not patronize me." Abraham wasn't looking at the vampire.
"Then decide, Master. Kill me. Use me. But…" he waited for Abraham to look at him. "…do not choose something you will regret."
Abraham winced, his emotions raging, unbalanced, and contradicting one another. He clenched his jaw and glared at the floor.