Twisted DBZ Tales Chapter 13: Vegita vs. Freeza's Gang
Authors notes: Nothing to tell you about, although there is alot of
OOC in here due to the fact that Vegita would probably be using Kiblasts.
Take the plot with a grain of salt, and read sharply for the tiny tibits
of humor hidden well inside here.
---
Vegita openned the letter in the mail which he had gotten, he had never
gotten a piece of mail directed to him before. He openned it, and printed
in blood was "Freeza's Gang wants to see YOU at.." A small X marked the spot
on a nearby island. Vegita grabbed his sawed off shotgun and shells, and headed
to the island.
Vegita stood before what looked like a mansion. The front gate was locked, Vegita
set the bomb and watched the fireworks.
***WE ARE NOW AT VEGITAS POINT OF VIEW**
I entered the Freeza gangs little shack with a bang, literally. Some guards
armed with blaster guns were attracted by the explosion. We exchanged seasons
greetings, a couple of bullets flew, but the guards decided to lay down because
they were feeling dead. I continued into the garden which was before the mansion.
There were alot of gauss rifle shells and laser beams eager to unload themselves
into me. The garden was a bit overgrown, oh boy would I like to meet its gardener.
I didn't, but I met alot of interesting people. I guess the homocidal maniacs
club had declared open season on me. I haven't felt comfortable in a garden sincce.
Halfway though the garden, I walked onto a pile of leaves, which collapsed under
my weight. I fell into a dark underground tunnel. I headed down the tunnel when
I smelt something bad. I turned around to see a rather large in girth fellow
behind me. He didn't even looked like he wanted to hurt me, he was folloing me around
like a puppy dog. I would have let him follow me if it weren't for the fact that he
smelled worse than me and Kakarotto after a good spar. My shotgun was a out of ammo,
so I had no choice but to headbutt the guy into eternity, which was extremely nauseating.
I just hope they had deoderant where he wound up.
I found a ladder and got the hell out of there, the unconcious body of the fellow was
filling up the cave with a smell worse than all the dead cows in the world. I reached
the front door to the mansion. It was locked. I banged on it hard, but it wouldn't budge.
I was about to go SSJ and blow it to pieces, when a trap door openned from under me.
I fell down for what seemed like forever, and hit a ledge beside a door. I went to the
door and openned it.
The guard at the small room I had entered seem to like punching air. His stance was all
wrong. I would tell him how, but I decided better if I showed him how. I punched him
so hard that he flew right onto a wall.. and his head hit a secret mechanism! The wall
openned in a circle fashion, and I jumped in. The guards unconsious body however was
inbetween the path of the two walls...
I found a crank in the hidden room, and headed back to the previous room, walking over
the two sections of the body. I noticed the hole on the side of the grandfather clock which
rested in the room. The crank and clock joined in wedlock. They were so grateful they
showed me a secret passage behind the clock! I headed down the passage and into what looked
like a shooting gallery. There wasn't much in the gallery however, so I went through a nearby
door, and found a whiskey room. The smell of the alchohol was getting to me, but I found a
key in the room. I headed back to the gallery...
A suprise was waiting for me there. He was fat and wearing undershorts, tottering in front of
the gallery door, drinking something that looked lethal. His eyes had given up as working as
a team, but one of them saw me. The drunk couldn't have attacked me even with my help. I gave him
a whiskey bottle which I found in the previous room. He drank it and he was out like a light.
He had a nice gauss rifle with plenty of bolts. I headed to a nearby stairwell.
I was obviously near a kitchen. A cook wandered right by me, I noticed that he was trying his
hardest to keep away from the nearby statue, which had a gun pointed at a fixed position in the
room. The cook went into the kitchen. I walked down the room when I heard a click, I had just
set off the statue. Its gun turned to me, when the cook stupidly walked in front of me. The
gun fired, and bullets pierced the cooks white suit. The cook fell to the ground, with several
black holes surronded by blood in his body.
I headed into the kitchen, when the master chef spotted me. He took out a frying pan and I grabbed
a knife. We were soon simulating a medieval "swords vs. shields" game, unfortunatly the shield wasn't
a good offensive attack, and the chef hit the ground with his face sliced open. I headed to the door on
the opposite side of the kitchen. It was an elevator, the door openned, revealing the fellow that gave
me the gauss rifle. He looked pissed, and aimed his newly found blaster at my head. I swiftly wielded my
gauss rifle and openned fire. The bullets travelled at light speed, each when ripping a secretion of the
fat fools body off. As he fell to the ground, he yelled "OH SHIT THAT WAS SMARTS!"
I was about to enter the elevator when the chef I had sliced got up. Blood covered his face. He aimed
his blaster at me and yelled "YOU NO LIKE FOOD? FOOD NO LIKE YOU!". What was with all the retards
in this mansion? I promptly blew the chefs head off with my shotgun, and headed up to the top floor in
the elevator.
---
On a throne was Freeza's clone, surronding him were body guards. Before I could say anything the guards
openned fire. I did a barrel roll and we exchanged bullets. They screamed out words no fragile prince
ears should hear, and fell to the ground. Freeza's clone got up and revealed a grenade launcher on its arm.
My shotgun could handle this. As Freeza was about to launch a grenade, I put a shell right in the launcher.
The entire arm exploded. Freeza's fingers in the other hand turned into long claws, and he lashed at me.
I jumped over him and from behind punched him in the back and wacked his back with my shotgun. Freeza fell
to the ground, his back broken. As he struggled to get up, I went to the nearby cooler, and got a few budwiesers.
With my shotgun in one hand, a budweiser in the other, and a Bud Light on my lip, I turned Freeza's back into
raw meat with the help of 12 gauge slugs. Freeza flipped around, and I grilled the other side too. Satisfied, I
flew out of the mansion, launched a kiblast at it, and headed home.
---
THE END
Authors notes: Nothing to tell you about, although there is alot of
OOC in here due to the fact that Vegita would probably be using Kiblasts.
Take the plot with a grain of salt, and read sharply for the tiny tibits
of humor hidden well inside here.
---
Vegita openned the letter in the mail which he had gotten, he had never
gotten a piece of mail directed to him before. He openned it, and printed
in blood was "Freeza's Gang wants to see YOU at.." A small X marked the spot
on a nearby island. Vegita grabbed his sawed off shotgun and shells, and headed
to the island.
Vegita stood before what looked like a mansion. The front gate was locked, Vegita
set the bomb and watched the fireworks.
***WE ARE NOW AT VEGITAS POINT OF VIEW**
I entered the Freeza gangs little shack with a bang, literally. Some guards
armed with blaster guns were attracted by the explosion. We exchanged seasons
greetings, a couple of bullets flew, but the guards decided to lay down because
they were feeling dead. I continued into the garden which was before the mansion.
There were alot of gauss rifle shells and laser beams eager to unload themselves
into me. The garden was a bit overgrown, oh boy would I like to meet its gardener.
I didn't, but I met alot of interesting people. I guess the homocidal maniacs
club had declared open season on me. I haven't felt comfortable in a garden sincce.
Halfway though the garden, I walked onto a pile of leaves, which collapsed under
my weight. I fell into a dark underground tunnel. I headed down the tunnel when
I smelt something bad. I turned around to see a rather large in girth fellow
behind me. He didn't even looked like he wanted to hurt me, he was folloing me around
like a puppy dog. I would have let him follow me if it weren't for the fact that he
smelled worse than me and Kakarotto after a good spar. My shotgun was a out of ammo,
so I had no choice but to headbutt the guy into eternity, which was extremely nauseating.
I just hope they had deoderant where he wound up.
I found a ladder and got the hell out of there, the unconcious body of the fellow was
filling up the cave with a smell worse than all the dead cows in the world. I reached
the front door to the mansion. It was locked. I banged on it hard, but it wouldn't budge.
I was about to go SSJ and blow it to pieces, when a trap door openned from under me.
I fell down for what seemed like forever, and hit a ledge beside a door. I went to the
door and openned it.
The guard at the small room I had entered seem to like punching air. His stance was all
wrong. I would tell him how, but I decided better if I showed him how. I punched him
so hard that he flew right onto a wall.. and his head hit a secret mechanism! The wall
openned in a circle fashion, and I jumped in. The guards unconsious body however was
inbetween the path of the two walls...
I found a crank in the hidden room, and headed back to the previous room, walking over
the two sections of the body. I noticed the hole on the side of the grandfather clock which
rested in the room. The crank and clock joined in wedlock. They were so grateful they
showed me a secret passage behind the clock! I headed down the passage and into what looked
like a shooting gallery. There wasn't much in the gallery however, so I went through a nearby
door, and found a whiskey room. The smell of the alchohol was getting to me, but I found a
key in the room. I headed back to the gallery...
A suprise was waiting for me there. He was fat and wearing undershorts, tottering in front of
the gallery door, drinking something that looked lethal. His eyes had given up as working as
a team, but one of them saw me. The drunk couldn't have attacked me even with my help. I gave him
a whiskey bottle which I found in the previous room. He drank it and he was out like a light.
He had a nice gauss rifle with plenty of bolts. I headed to a nearby stairwell.
I was obviously near a kitchen. A cook wandered right by me, I noticed that he was trying his
hardest to keep away from the nearby statue, which had a gun pointed at a fixed position in the
room. The cook went into the kitchen. I walked down the room when I heard a click, I had just
set off the statue. Its gun turned to me, when the cook stupidly walked in front of me. The
gun fired, and bullets pierced the cooks white suit. The cook fell to the ground, with several
black holes surronded by blood in his body.
I headed into the kitchen, when the master chef spotted me. He took out a frying pan and I grabbed
a knife. We were soon simulating a medieval "swords vs. shields" game, unfortunatly the shield wasn't
a good offensive attack, and the chef hit the ground with his face sliced open. I headed to the door on
the opposite side of the kitchen. It was an elevator, the door openned, revealing the fellow that gave
me the gauss rifle. He looked pissed, and aimed his newly found blaster at my head. I swiftly wielded my
gauss rifle and openned fire. The bullets travelled at light speed, each when ripping a secretion of the
fat fools body off. As he fell to the ground, he yelled "OH SHIT THAT WAS SMARTS!"
I was about to enter the elevator when the chef I had sliced got up. Blood covered his face. He aimed
his blaster at me and yelled "YOU NO LIKE FOOD? FOOD NO LIKE YOU!". What was with all the retards
in this mansion? I promptly blew the chefs head off with my shotgun, and headed up to the top floor in
the elevator.
---
On a throne was Freeza's clone, surronding him were body guards. Before I could say anything the guards
openned fire. I did a barrel roll and we exchanged bullets. They screamed out words no fragile prince
ears should hear, and fell to the ground. Freeza's clone got up and revealed a grenade launcher on its arm.
My shotgun could handle this. As Freeza was about to launch a grenade, I put a shell right in the launcher.
The entire arm exploded. Freeza's fingers in the other hand turned into long claws, and he lashed at me.
I jumped over him and from behind punched him in the back and wacked his back with my shotgun. Freeza fell
to the ground, his back broken. As he struggled to get up, I went to the nearby cooler, and got a few budwiesers.
With my shotgun in one hand, a budweiser in the other, and a Bud Light on my lip, I turned Freeza's back into
raw meat with the help of 12 gauge slugs. Freeza flipped around, and I grilled the other side too. Satisfied, I
flew out of the mansion, launched a kiblast at it, and headed home.
---
THE END