Chapter 14

For the rest of the week Alex noticed Claire was still cold towards him. He knew he deserved it, but he wanted with all his heart to explain why he said what he had said. But first he had to understand the reason himself.

Before his travel to Queensland, Alex had had the feeling he was special for Claire, a mate somehow irreplaceable, but now there was Stevie… suddenly he was not so special, and someone could actually laugh and joke with Claire apart from him. He liked Stevie a lot, but he missed his rides with Claire… again… and sometimes he felt pushed aside.

His comment had had nothing to do with Stevie, but she was one of the reasons he had acted this way. She was a sort of barrier Claire had put between them. He had felt that way before her arrival, and now it was pretty clear to him. The two girls were always together, and he was going nuts! He should talk to Claire, and alone, but how could he do it at the moment?

Why were things always so difficult now? They had become friends so easily; he could talk with her for hours, but now everytime he dared to say anything she ended up hurt or angry!

At the beginning Claire was really just excited to have Stevie at Drovers, nothing else, but then she began to notice it was simpler just to avoid the topic of Alex. After his comment she couldn't help but be quite distant with him. Everytime she saw him she heard again his voice in her head 'Yeah, yeah, dream on McLeod!' laughing out loud. Alex really wasn't laughing at all in the car, but in Claire's nightmare world he did.

Alex by the way still didn't know what he should do… Apparently Stevie hadn't succeeded in her attempt to make Claire understand how sorry he was and he couldn't even complain because apparently Claire was like her usual self to everyone else. Only he and Stevie could see the little change from the old Claire.

She smiled, she talked to him about the daily things, she told him the chores she did on Drovers and joked about Stevie being there too and always questioning the other workers… Actually Alex always knew every little thing was happening at Drovers, everything except how Claire felt or what she thought. He was still surprised by how she could be so friendly but so distant at the same time.

Almost every second evening the girls spent some time at the Gungellan pub, and Alex was often with them, but after the usual lift he left them alone joining his old friends. He was tired of feeling himself being pushed away, but still it wasn't easy for him to have fun without her. He couldn't help but feel regret, and he didn't even know what for exactly. He regretted everything… he had left; he hadn't said a word to Claire for eight months, even the fact that he had kissed her… If he hadn't done that, he wouldn't be so confused about what he was going to do with her… maybe it would have been simpler…

Three weeks had passed since Stevie's first appearance at Drovers, and nothing had changed. The red haired girl was still sure that the way Alex looked at Claire was definitely not just a friendly gaze, but she wasn't so sure of Claire's feelings.

By what she had observed she knew that these two were perfectly capable of hanging around each other without even hinting at their true feelings, maybe for their entire life, who knows… and she had just watched them… so far, nothing! And she couldn't allow that!

Now she knew for sure that the first positive impression Claire had given her was completely right, she was the best friend someone could wish for, even if it might take a while for her to actually show it. She just wanted Claire to be happy… she deserved it… Besides, as almost every girl temporarily without a love interest of her own in sight, Stevie's main interest now was finding a boyfriend for her friend…

Unfortunately for Claire, Stevie was direct enough to question her straight out. Besides, any other possible way wasn't working… She had already made attempts to get Claire into the subject but, as Alex had already predicted, the only thing Claire said about that evening was that there was nothing going on and she was still the same toward Alex.

The last evening Stevie was spending at Drovers before Christmas holidays the two girls were having a sort of pyjama party in Claire's room, so this was the perfect time for introducing the topic… They were alone and Claire had no excuses and no chances to avoid her… and she was leaving, so Claire couldn't disappoint her right now… or so she hoped…

"Claire, what's up between you and Alex?" At Stevie's question Claire put up an innocent look

"Eh?!? Me and Alex? We're mates, you know. Actually you know everything about our life now, you're always with us!" replied Claire, trying to turn the question into a joke. Actually she did know very well what Stevie was talking about…

"I know what are you doing, I wanna know how you feel about him! It's a different question…" Stevie now was sitting beside Claire and was looking at her in a very understanding way, so much that Claire almost felt like she was betraying her not giving a direct reply.

"Why do ya think I could feel something different from just friendship?" Claire asked carefully.

Stevie was searching for an answer in her mate's eyes, but they were hard to read just then. "You're avoiding him! Since he made that comment, after we met his friends…"

"I'm not avoiding him! I see him as frequently as I used to…" It seemed like denial was Claire's best friend lately…

"Yeah, but I'm always with you! And I know that if I'm not there you always call Nick to come with you or everyone else you can think of." Stevie explained, rolling her eyes. At the beginning she had thought it was funny to watch them going in circles, but now it wasn't funny anymore… Now there was always tension between them, and even Stevie had a hard time trying to lighten the mood…

"And Sherlock Holmes has a clue about why I should avoid him?" Claire asked trying to sound amused, but her voice sounded more harsh than expected.

"Sure I have, but I feel like you're gonna kill me if I tell ya…"

Claire rolled her eyes and sighed. She was ready to hear one of her crazy ideas… "Come on, spit it out…"

"He hurt you"

"What?!? And how could he have hurt me?" Claire was trying again to sound amused, but she didn't manage very well.

"You know. He talked as if he believed you couldn't impress a boy, and you reckon he reckons you're not pretty enough…but you're wrong"

Claire shot her a look that could have killed someone, but Stevie didn't give up so easily… "Yup, you're terribly wrong" she stated again, like this was the most obvious thing in the world (and for her it actually was).

"Stevie, what the hell are ya saying? What was that tongue twister???"

Now it was Stevie's turn to roll her eyes. Maybe Claire needed a little summary of the previous chapters, like her life was a soap opera… "My point is he fancies you, but he didn't know how to tell you, and still doesn't, so he acted in the most stupid way he could. Please, forgive him, or he'll put up forever this sad puppy face everytime he sees you! It's very annoying to have him around lately!" Knowing Claire, she thought putting it to a joke was the only way to have her listen and not bite her head off… but she also had to underline it was not completely a joke… "Think about it when I'm away… promise?"

"Only if you promise you'll come back after holidays…" Claire finally granted.

"You can bet I will!" Stevie said loudly, nudging at her friend.

The remainder of the evening went on without any other uncomfortable topics and, as was planned, Jack and Claire went with Stevie to the bus stop in the early hours of the next morning.

For Claire seeing her leave was harder than she thought because this had reminded her of the other people that had left her… her mother, her sister and step-mother, even Alex… She knew that every situation was different, but still the fear of losing someone else was still there…