A/N: I have a huge muse strike for the last week and, to be honest, I don't know where it came from and where it's going to end, but I'll use it. This chapter is serious, no weed smoking and dumb actions (I think). The shocker! Anyways, thanks to HG59 for the review! Another moment of honesty: Valentina was planned completely differend and I don't know how she turned out like this.

As always, reviews are welcomed! I DON'T OWN KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN! AND THE VARIA.

XII: Unfortunate event called 'Mission'

What the fuck was I really doing? I mean, I was on my first actually hard to do mission and I didn't like it even one bit. The mission was simple to do, but hard - there was a large group of illegal weapon smugglers, selling on Vongola's territory and it was our job to finish them, take the weapons and money and steal everything that wasn't on their list.

We were 21 people in total, in 5 cars and a truck for the weapons - Sweetheart, me and ten others from Squad A, the others from the Lighting Squad, their annoying, hairy commander with us too. Damn, only the sight of him was burning my eyes like acid.

I actually brought my ugly over-sized uniform coat and that was good - I mean, no blood stains on my precious top and the smugglers' base was in the freaking Alps, meaning cold as shit. You see, it was two days before New Year Eve. And there was snow. I mean lots of snow. I praised myself in the second after leaving the car - earlier, the idea of wearing my newest red pumps seemed okay, but now I didn't regret wearing black leather boots that reached the middle of my tights. Not at all. The leather gloves were kind of useful too and I praised myself again.

So here I was, running around with the too oversized fur-lined hood on my head, looking like a total fucking moron. Damn, this place became battlefield in the very first moment we got out of the cars. Fucking bastards were around fifty, with the actual smugglers around ten and the others - bodyguards and workers, as the file I actually red earlier said. And they were very well prepared for this - the weapons were practically in their arms when we arrived. That was kind of suspicious, more likely too suspicious to miss. The only thing I didn't understand was that why didn't they run instead of staying here like idiots, waiting to be killed? But I didn't give a damn - this was war and I could die the same second I stayed in the same place.

After smashing to pieces two bastards in total, I started running again, this time hiding behind a brick wall to unleash my other box weapon. When I did that, the little unnoticeable spiders went in different direction. I didn't envy their victims - the poison worked right on the spot, meaning a painful lung paralysis and eventual death.

I spent a couple of seconds to look around the battlefield - multi-colored flame bullets were in the air, multi-colored animals - too. I saw a thunder-flamed cougar tearing apart one of the workers, not feeling sorry at all. But distracting myself with such things seemed like a good idea. Gorilla was launching his biggest and strongest attack and I was in the center of it, but I noticed a second later, so I had to run like my life depended on it. It actually did, but whatever.

Finding a new and whole wall was hard, but it eventually happened and I used it for hiding spot. Deciding to kill one of the last remaining bastards, I stood and in the very same second, I felt sharp, weak pain in the left side of my ribs. At first I thought it was a small rock or something like that, but when my insides started burning like they were on actual fire, everything became quite clear. With huge effort, I pulled the very small arrow that was sticking from my uniform coat, trying to examine it. But then the violent convulsions started.

I couldn't fucking breathe! And when I did, the pain was too much. I found myself making weird gagging sounds, rolling on the ground like mad. In the very same second, I threw up and the substance on the snow was blood. The burning became more and more painful, I continued coughing and puking blood. Both comrades and smugglers had the same fate as me. And for a second, everything became clear and I passed out.

I woke up in one of the cars with somebody that seemed like Dante, but I wasn't very sure. My stomach was aching badly and my lungs - still burning, but not as much as before. After that I noticed that my uniform coat was unbuttoned and strained with blood and my shirt - lifted. After that, I noticed the straw that was sticking from me, more likely where my lungs were located. I threw up on the seat again, passing out.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the infirmary this time, with a very blurry and familiar pretty face above me. After my sight became clear, I recognized the yummy dude from my very first day here. I thought I was in love with him back then, but it turned out that I just wanted to screw him so badly. Well, I still wanted to screw him badly, but that doesn't matter.

I noticed that I wasn't wearing my ruined uniform anymore - the weird and ugly piece of clothing on me seemed like a robe or something like that. And no straws sticking from me this time. Looks like it was one of the times that a person just says "Thank God!", but it wasn't the right thing for me.

"Will I live?" Was the first thing I said.

"Yes. The poison didn't leave any traces in your body, but it filled your lungs with blood. It seems like you, Commander Levi and four others were the only one who pulled the poisoned arrows in time. The others are dead."

"Damn." We sat in silence for a couple of minutes.

Well, everything for this mission was clear to me now - smugglers were just baits, the real target being us and more precisely - the two Big Bad Bastards. And there was a freaking mole. After more time, I opened my mouth again.

"So, how many survivors in total."

"Nine."

"Damn."

"Yeah." More and more silence. I found myself staring at pretty dude's lips, just like the first time. This is kind of nostalgic. I started getting up from the bed and guy-I-want-to-fuck stopped me, pushing me down again.

"Better don't."

"Watch me." But Sex on Legs was right - the moment I got up, the burning pain in my lungs started again. I cursed, laying down again. "Fuck, you were right."

"Told you. Anyways, I'll go check the others. Don't get up soon, it'll be very painful for you."

He left; I just stared at his ass. The curtains around my bed were pretty much hiding the world for me, but they unfortunately weren't soundproof. Gorilla was screaming something like 'Boss! BOSS!' and it sounded like three or four guys were trying to hold him in one place. Poor bastards.

I decided that lying on my back wasn't comfortable enough, so I just rolled, settling on my stomach. But yummy guy missed one tiny detail - the skin on my ribs felt raw and bruised, giving me sharp and continuous pain. Making a strange unidentified sound of agony, I returned to my previous position.

Sleeping was the only good and not-painful thing to do, so I decided to do that. The energy was absent from my body, like I didn't even close my eyes for a second in week or two. But Gorilla still screamed like mad for his oh-so-precious boss, interrupting my already failing tries.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY, SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" I shouted, ready to jump and beat the shit out of him (highly unlikely). But I didn't and that made me proud.

"DON'T ORDER ME!" He screamed back.

"I'M NOT ORDERING YOU, I'M ASKING YOU NICELY!"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME, YOU UNDERLING! I'M YOUR SUPERIOR!"

"BUT YOU'RE NOT MY FUCKING BOSS!"

Ugly bastard stopped screaming at me, but he was still screaming anyways, with the lack of intention to stop. Fuck him. If I could, I would strange him with a pillow, but if I tried, he was going to crush me with a single hit, so I restrained myself. I don't know how, but after some time I finally fell asleep.

"There's a mole." I stated the already obvious thing, throwing out of the window my finished cigarette.

"I know that. I don't even want to imagine what will happen to the bastard when the Boss finds him."

"Well, sliced to tiny pieces."

"Not that boss, Val. The Boss. "

"I see. Poor fucker then."

I just sat on the edge of the window, looking at my not-so-pretty-anymore reflection. My hair was messy, with some dark brown in it; my face - too pale, with huge bags under the eyes. I looked like a fucking zombie, but Lussy said it was normal because of the poisoning. Dante was laying on my bed, looking at me like he didn't see me for ages. Well, he was on a two-week mission and that was ages for me, because I happened to enjoy his company a lot.

"You know, I never met him, but I heard he was one hell of a terrifying bastard."

"Believe me, you don't want to. I met him once and I can only say that every rumor about him is true." Dante answered with a weir expression. It looked like he was remembering the unfortunate event.

"Even that he could kill people only with his eyes?"

"As I heard, some people die from heart attack on the spot."

"Wow."

We sat in comfortable silence for some time. I don't know what he was thinking, but in my mind was only the damn mission. Capt'n and Dante were one of the few that weren't hit with the poisonous arrows. It turned out that he was just lucky, being on the right place, out of the radar of the attack. I didn't want to admit it even to myself, but I admired how my boss reacted - fast and smart, on the very same second when the rain of poisonous arrows started. Damn the bastard.

Alfonso was dead, along with a couple of guys from the squad I never actually met. The dude always stole my food and he always talked about complete nonsense, but it didn't mean his dead didn't suck, even if we weren't really friends.

"And how are you?"Dante interrupted my train of thoughts.

"I look like a fucking zombie and you saw the skin on my ribs, but if we exclude that, I'm fine."

Said skin was all black and red and even I didn't want to look at it for more than a second, but Lussy said that's also normal and that it was going to disappear for a week or two, worst case scenario. But the hole for the straw was going to leave a scar. It turned out Dante gave the idea for this, because he saw it in a movie. He wasn't so sure that it was going to work, but we were already dead so they gave it a try and we actually survived.

"Dude, do you know what the fucking best thing is?"My friend gave me a questioning look. "The Vongola boss felt so oh-so-guilty for the killed people, so he decided to double the money for the ones who survived the poisoning. Who's rich now? Me, bitches, me!"

"You're finally your old self again. I thought it was never going to happen."

"I know you're jealous of my money!"

"Damn right."

And that made me realize everything was back to normal now.