Who Am I?

by Omnuscraft

A small boy begins a journey to become something more, only to be turned into the very thing he hated and sought to destroy. His journey becomes something so much more as he seeks to answer something one would think to be such a simple question: Who Am I? A 'Who We Are' story.

14. Chapter 14: Haven't Forgotten You

Chapter 14: Haven't Forgotten You.

The weeks spent at Karazhan were so wonderful. I learned much in the presence of the Magus, and I think even Antonidas learned much. We gathered each morning in the observatory, the library, or even at the top of the tower to discuss the various kingdoms of Azeroth, the state of the military of each nation, and even the state of the troll kingdom to the south, such that it was.

Hmm, oh, yes, I'll get to that in a moment. It was a week into our stay, and we were all gathered in the observatory once more.

"And that is why I believe Lordaeron should annex Alterac and turn it into a Lordaeronean territory, not the tiny spit of a kingdom it is today." Said the Magus at length, taking a drink of the flagon of honey mead.

Aethas swirled his in his mug. "While I can see your point, I cannot imagine Stromgarde or Gilneas would allow such a thing to happen. It could spark a war between the human nations."

Antonidas nodded in agreement. "It could even draw Dalaran into the war, given the Violet Nation's close proximity to Alterac."

The Magus waved his hand. "That is simply rectified. Do not allow Lordaeron or Alterac troops to move through the Violet Nation's lands. Force them to go north through Strahnbrad, through Eastern Lordaeron. You must see the wisdom here? If a battle did begin, it would be over in a fortnight, maybe less." The Magus took another drink, "Minimal loss of life."

I looked at my mead and listened, but the Magus looked at me and gestured to me. "Matthew, you must see the wisdom here, no? Lordaeron needs to expand its borders, and remove such an impotent man such as Aiden Perenolde from office."

I set my mug down on the table before me and rubbed my cheek, feeling the slight bit of stubble growing there. I heaved a sigh and shook my head. "Unfortunately, Magus, I cannot. You're suggesting Lordaeron go to war with a weaker opponent. That is tantamount to bullying. I would know. Yes, it would be over quickly, and yes, the loss of life would be minimal, but I cannot support something that would cause any loss of life, no matter how small."

Antonidas and Aethas seemed pleased as they both nodded. Medivh seemed defeated, frowning harshly and sighing. "Is this world not built on the survival of the fittest, magi?"

I shook my head. "Not if the fittest is trying to grow fitter by stamping out the weaker, smaller ones. That is for the animal kingdom. Tell me, Medivh, do you believe us little more than animals?"

The Magus flinched and Antonidas choked on his mead from the shock of my audacity. The Magus looked at his mug and chuckled, nodding before slowly looking up at me. "Well. I do believe I have been put in my place, no?" He looked at Antonidas and jerked a thumb towards me. "He is more like you every day, Antonidas."

And these were our days, discussing politics, magical knowledge, sharing spells or even simply just going for a ride. Medivh taught me all about the lands east of Karazhan, called the Black Morass, a stagnant, rancid land of bogs, dragons, and swampland.

"Fate has something great in store for that land, Matthew, great or terrible." He smirked at me as our horses trotted back up into Deadwind Pass.

Before we get too far off track, yes, I did send the letter to Silvermoon, addressed to the Andris and Ti'tanya Dawnshatter.

That night I wrote the letter, the wastebasket in my room was filled to over flowing with crumpled pieces of parchment, and I had slumped over in my chair more than a few times, deciding I would not be sending a letter. Much to my credit, I would sit up straight and begin again. I finally settled on a short, simple letter asking how everyone was, how Andris' training was going. A few days later, a raven landed at the window of the observatory in Karazhan. Medivh beamed when he took the letter from the raven, sealed with a wax seal of the Dawnshatter family.

Andris wrote that his training was well, as was his family. Circi had, apparently, gotten a tattoo and earned much ire from the Lord and Lady, and that Ti'tanya was training to become a better Light wielder than she already was. She even wrote part of the letter. I was able to tell when the hand writing changed from jagged, sharp letters, to a smooth, flowing script. 'I haven't forgotten you', she wrote. It brought me joy and I was giddy for the rest of my stay at Karazhan.

Even more startling was that Lord and Lady Dawnshatter wanted me to come to their home during the last week of the summer. I was leery of the whole thing, their minds having changed so suddenly about…well, me. All the same, I wrote back that I would visit as soon as I could, writing all about Karazhan and what I heard learned from the magus since my stay there.

And I had learned much from Medivh at my time at the tower. He was a much different teacher than Antonidas, preferring to show rather than tell, and then have me emulate him. More often than not, it resulted in wild magic tearing from my hands. He started with such advanced magics, it was so difficult, I'll admit, but I vowed to practice all the same. When our time was up, we said our good-byes and left the tower early on the morning of our departure. Of course, Aethas loaded up his horse with more food than I could possibly imagine eating in any stretch of time. There was a chill in the air and hoarfrost on the trees as we left. Antonidas enjoyed his bacon and eggs while we rode, but I could tell my master was bothered by something.

"Master," I began, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "Is everything okay?"

Antonidas grumbled in his throat and looked at Aethas. "Aethas, did Medivh seem strange to you?"

Aethas looked up from his plate and swallowed the mouthful of food. "Not anymore more than usual, Archmage, at least not that I had noticed, why? He has always been at least a little bit strange at the best of times."

Antonidas made another noise. "He just seemed…off. I can't quite put my finger on it, but he seemed strange…like a shadow hung over him."

Aethas handed me the remains of his plate, which I gladly finished. "Now that you mention It, I suppose that Medivh was a bit harsher when it came to certain things. The whole Alterac and Lordaeron discussion was out of character for him. And thanks to Matthew, that situation was quickly defused."

I mumbled past bacon and eggs, raising the wooden plate up as I stuffed my face.

"Yes." Was all Antonidas said.

"Do you still plan to send the apprentice to him, Archmage?" Aethas asked.

Antonidas nodded. "Yes, at the end of the fall. He will go south with the final caravan to Stormwind."

I finished the leftovers and brushed the plate off, tossing it away and incinerating it quickly, letting the ashes float away idly. "Masters, you spoke of this apprentice before with the Magus. It sounds like you've already picked someone out."

Antonidas nodded. "Yes, indeed, we have."

I frowned harshly. "I hope it's not me."

Aethas let out a loud bark of laughter. "I do believe the boy has grown fond of you, Antonidas."

"Finally," Antonidas cracked a weary smile behind his beard. "No, Matthew, it is not you."

I chuckled. "Good. Who is it?"

"He's barely a teenager, but he has shown promise, and Medivh has been sending ravens nearly monthly asking for an apprentice." Said Aethas as he climbed down from his horse, preferring to walk every once in a while.

"Why does the Magus study in Karazhan? Why not come to the Violet City?"

"Karazhan is important. I know you felt the magic within the tower, Matthew." Antonidas said as he removed his gloves.

"Of course, it wasn't difficult to feel," I said without hesitation.

"Anyway," Aethas said, plucking a pear from a tree as we entered Duskwood. "The apprentice we are sending is a boy named Khadgar."

I nodded. "I've seen him training with the other apprentices. He's talented."

Antonidas nodded. "He is. Arrogant and talks too much, but he and the Magus should do just fine together."

"Will he be trained as the new Guardian?"

"That's the idea." Aethas said, taking a bite from the pear, the juices running down his chin. "The Magus is human, so he cannot be the Guardian forever."

"What makes someone a Guardian?"

Antonidas shrugged. "Good blood or raw talent, Khadgar as the former."

"And the Magus," I asked, "What of him, I have not heard him speak of a surname."

"Both."

Aethas chuckled, "Only because his mother played the cards in her favor."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I unbuttoned my robes to let a breeze go through my sleeves.

"Aegwynn, the former Guardian…" Antonidas seemed to hesitate, and Aethas picked up where he left off.

"She seduced a court conjurer of Stormwind, a man by the name of Nilas Aran. He is a powerful wizard, a member of the Kirin Tor and quite talented in arcane magic. Aegwynn knew that Medivh would need good blood to continue what she started as the Guardian." Aethas said at length. "Aegwynn was not a suitable mother, so Nilas has been the only parental figure that Medivh has known."

The conversation continued a bit after that, the Masters telling me of the Order, Aegwynn, Medivh, and what the Guardian's purpose was. They were the true protectors of Azeroth, it seemed. We went through Duskwood and Elwynn, the day nice and cool and the trip was much like when we left for Karazhan three weeks ago. We made camp as necessary, but without the company of the Prince and Lothar, the conversation focused much more on academia more than anything else, not that I minded.

We traveled the several days ride back to Dalaran and we almost immediately returned to business as usual. Well. For me, I spent much less time studying and in the classroom, and more time manipulating my own magic and training. I even taught a few lessons to the apprentice's classes when their instructor for fire took ill with a bad case of mummy fever.

My master's ceremony was wonderful. I was presented with my badge as a master of the Kirin Tor, and my accomplishments were spoken to the entire city. The whole of the council was present and I gave a short speech. I was proud of my time in Dalaran, proud of what I had accomplished. I shook so many hands and bowed to so many people, my wrist and back was very sore.

That seems like a lifetime ago, half of one, at least. Were I given the chance to go back and do it all again, I absolutely would do it all the same. I've no regrets in life. It was late into the night when I slogged back to my quarters when I saw a familiar figure waiting outside the door to my room. I rubbed my face and forced a smile.

"Hello, Master Sunreaver, didn't I just see you…" I trailed off and I turned around to point down the stairs where I had come from.

The elven magister stared at me blankly for a few moments before I cleared my throat gently.

"Right, magic, wizards," I chuckled softly and shook my head. "Apologies, Master Sunreaver, but I'm quite tired. Might we do this in the morn?"

Aethas flicked his fingers at the doorknob of my bedroom door and pushed it open. "This'll just take a moment, Matthew. I promise. I brought apples!"

"Of course you did." I mumbled as I followed him inside. He offered me an apple and sat down at my desk.

"I'm going to be very blunt with you, Matthew. There's no point in beating around the bush." He said as he bit into the apple, taking only a small bite.

I saw on the bed and laid back. What, I was a master; I could do as I pleased! "Mm-hmm, whatever you say, Aethas."

"Antonidas and I want to sponsor you to become a member of the Council of Six."

Now he had my attention. I sat up quickly. "I beg your pardon, Aethas?"

He smirked at me. "The Council of Six is no Council of Six if it only has five members, is it?"

I quickly went through the members of the Council of Six in my head, Antonidas, Kel'thuzad, Aethas, Kael'thas, and Modera. That was all, ever since the death of Arthur, at least.

"They've not been the Council of Six for a long time, Aethas. Why have they waited this long to choose another member? Surely, there are plenty of able candidates." I said, completely alert and awake now.

"Of course there are." Aethas said, tossing the apple core into the waste basket. "But Antonidas wanted to wait until you were of age. He needed to wait until…" He stared at me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion on my own.

"For me to become a master, that's all? But Aethas, that's absurd. How has he kept the council content till now?"

He scoffed and crossed his arms in mock offense. "Do you think he is the only one who has faith in you and wished to see you serve on the council?"

I smiled and hung my head before looking up. "My apologies, I meant no offense, this is just unexpected."

"None to be taken, Matthew, this does mean that you won't be taking on the Instructor role and training. Antonidas did say you were quite set on that." He smirked at me, but I could only roll my eyes and laugh.

"Yes, because I wish to be an instructor when the chance to be a member of the Council of Six presents itself." I said with a cock of my head.

"Good. I urge you, though, to take this time to enjoy yourself before it is made official."

"Um, official, you said? Isn't there…" I said, trailing off.

"This long as his apprentice and you still take Antonidas as short sighted. He does nothing, my friend, without his plans having plans, and those plans having plans. All is ready for you, Matthew. But," Aethas slapped his knees and stood. "First, you will enjoy yourself in Silvermoon for a time. "

I stood up to walk Aethas out and patted his shoulder. I was finally as tall as he was, if not a bit taller. He seemed to notice also as he stopped abruptly and turned towards me. He smiled at me and put a hand on my shoulder as well. "You've grown into a fine young man, Matthew."

"Thank you, Aethas. I do have one question, though." I opened the door to let him out into the hall.

"Of course, Matthew," he said, looking at me with that caring glance he always seemed to have.

"Why did Antonidas not tell me himself?"

"Ah! We flipped for it. He called heads, I called tails. It landed tails."

I stared at him blankly and the magister just smiled at me, putting his hands into his robe pockets.

"Good night, Aethas."

The response was only his great laughter as he turned away from my quarters. I shut the door and put my back to it as I let it all sink in. I was to be a member of the Council of Six. Councilman De'tylmarande. I felt my eyes well up with tears as emotion flooded me. I gripped my chest and let off a gentle sob. I was not crying out of sadness or pain, but pure joyous elation. I was on cloud nine, ten, and eleven. I was…I was complete.

I am terribly sorry; you don't want to hear an old man go on about himself. Hmm. Come to think of it, I really should not have begun so far back. Well, we're here now, I suppose. Just a short bit further and we'll get to the parts everyone is so desperate to hear about. Oh, yes! I had gone back to Silvermoon that next morning. I left early as I was excited to see my friends again and to see…her again. It had been so long. It was the first time I had gone to Silvermoon alone, as they rarely came to Dalaran any longer. It was nice to be alone with my own thoughts for a time. I rushed up and scratched my fingernails through the scruff on my cheek and jaw line. The city was just as busy as it always was. I weaved through the group of people, and I knew that I needed to get to the Dawnshatter estate before too long, but goodness I was starving. A trip to the bazaar would not hurt, just to grab something to eat and then be on my way.

Nothing special, sliced hawkstrider meat, some bread, and a peach, along with a cold glass of wine. Hah! I could order my own beverages now. How about that? I ate hastily and just as I was getting up from the bench, I turned around the fountain in the bazaar and collided with someone. I remained standing, but the person yelped loudly, and many bags and wrapped parcels spilled out onto the floor.

"My goodness," I exclaimed, rushing forward. "I am terribly, terribly sorry, my lady!" I offered my hand out towards the woman I had rudely knocked over.

She looked up at me and smiled, and I returned the smile as well. "Oh, Master De'tylmarande, I am so glad to see you." The woman took my hand in hers gently and helped herself to stand.

"Oh!" I bowed low to the woman. "My Lady Dawnshatter, I had not recognized you."

Yes, of course I had knocked down the mother of the one I cared so deeply for. Yes, that would look splendid to talk about at dinner.

I picked up many of the bags and parcels that had fallen. "My deepest apologies, my lady, I was off in my own little world."

She giggled that same soft melodic laugh at Circi and Tanya had. "Oh stop it, it's quite alright." He crossed her arms and closed her eyes. "It is I who should be apologizing to you, Matthew."

"I blinked a few times and was about to reply when the Lord Dawnshatter approached to stand beside his beloved, slipping an arm about her waist.

"My Lord Dawnshatter," I bowed, careful not to drop anything.

"Master De'tylmarande." He bowed as well, much lower than I had.

Lady Dawnshatter put a hand on her husband's chest. "My love, I was just expressing to Matthew our regret of our behavior."

His mouth turned into a grim line. "Yes, of course. Walk with us, Matthew?"

I was stunned as I began to follow them back towards their estate.

"You see, Matthew." Began the lord, puffing on a pipe he produced from his luxurious jacket. "We were being rather selfish, you see. After that night at the Fire Festival, goodness, it was chaos and madness in our home."

"Andris was livid." Lady Dawnshatter said and shook her head.

"I am not heartless to the feelings of my children, Master De'tylmarande," said the lord somberly. "Andris acted out, Circi went and got her body…tattooed and Tanya refused to speak to us until recently."

"I am sorry, my lord and lady. I did not mean to cause stress in your home." I said, walking beside them, balancing bags on my shoulders, thankful when Lord Dawnshatter took quite a few of them in his large hand. "You did not. That was us. We want only the best for our children. You were…not planned for, an unexpected circumstance in the grand scheme of things. I am not ashamed to admit my children's lives were planned from the moment they were born."

"Darling…" Lady Dawnshatter murmured.

"I know. It is not about us. It is about that. Matthew, I only ask that you give it time. I implore you not to rush headlong into our world. Our people may welcome you to our city, but welcoming you into a family is another thing. I ask only that you give it time."

I stopped, as did they and they looked at me with a stare mixed with shame, stubborn pride, and hopefulness. I nodded.

"Of course, lord and lady Dawnshatter, I would not wish to cause unrest for your family. I only wish…" I trailed off but I sucked in a deep breath. "I only wish to see Tanya happy and cared for."

"And when the decades pass and you become old, frail, and weak, Matthew?" The lord spoke barely above a whisper.

"I…"

"Now you know why we reacted such that we did." The lady said. "It is not that we disliked you. We disliked that you would, one day, long before even we would pass, you would be dust in the wind. And Tanya, possibly your children, they would be left alone."

I furrowed my brow and the lord did the same. "Forgive me, my lord and lady, for not being an elder race."

"Matthew, that is not…" And that was the first time I cut off and interrupted a lord of Silvermoon.

"But it is, my lord. You want Tanya to be nothing more than something you can marry off to increase your family's power and standing. But you did not account for her willpower to be just as strong, if not stronger than yours. You want her to pop out…"

"Matthew!" The Lady shouted in horror.

"Children, so that your legacy will continue and you'll be able to hold your heads high while your children are miserable! Never mind that I could give her a few decades of happiness, no, you want a lifetime or status upgrades." I spat on the cobblestone and glared at the couple who said nothing for a moment.

"You wound us, Master De'tylmarande." The lord whispered gently. "Shall we continue to our estate, then?"

I walked forward and gently set their many parcels and bags at their feet. "No. I will send a runner to inform Circi, Andris, and Ti'tanya where I'll be staying." I stepped back and bowed.

"You would honor us to stay in our home, Matthew." The lady said, reaching a hand out towards me as I walked away.

"And it would be a dishonor to me to stay under the roof of people who place more worth on my race than my accomplishments. Good eve to you, Lord and Lady Dawnshatter."

And that was that! I wasn't going to put up with their behavior any longer than I had to! Yes, yes, their world, their rules and whatnot, but that did not mean I had to play their game. They were grown people, Circi, Andris, and Ti'tanya could and did make decisions as grown people on their own and I was afforded that right all the same.

I entered the Wayfarer's Rest just as the sun began to set.

"Could you send a runner to the Dawnshatter estate, please, and inform them that Matthew De'tylmarande will be staying here?"

The innkeeper was more than happy to help, giving me the key to the room as I made my way upstairs and to my room, having had my things delivered already.

I entered the room and set down on the bed. I didn't have to wait long, thankfully. It seemed I had just sat myself on the large, comfortable mattress, that I heard a banging on the door.

I stood up and pulled open the door and was immediately set upon by a large, heavy, solid…thing. I was scooped up into a large hug by the huge man and I could hear girly squealing as my vision swam from the power of the embrace.

"Enough!" I squeaked out. "Put me down!"

Andris finally set me down and held me out at arm's length and looked me over. "Look at you." He smiled as he put a hand on my face. "Look at all of this stubble! Facial hair! I'll be damned!"

Circi squeezed in behind him and set some wrapped packages on the table. "Matty," she said, shoving her brother to the side and hugging me, giving my cheek a quick kiss. "I'm so happy to see you again! Not as happy as someone!" She said in a singsong voice as they both stepped to the side and revealed their sister.

She was just as beautiful as I remember. She wore a long, white, flowing gown, with a beautiful blue and silver tiara perched within her hair. She was the very epitome of beauty and elegance. Her feet were bare and I could see her toes poking out of the bottom of the dress.

"Tanya…"

"Matthew."

We embraced and it was like nothing had changed. That night, we spent some much needed time together, eating, drinking, sharing stories, and playing games. We had such a fabulous time. It was like there was no time lost at all. Ti'tanya did not leave my side at all that night, and I would not have it any other way. We all piled on the large bed together once we were all sufficiently exhausted from our celebrations and revelry. Ti'tanya and I drifted off looking into each other's eyes, our fingers laced together.

"I'm sorry for what I said and did." She whispered to me that night.

"I understand. There is no need."

"Mother and father told me what you said. They are ashamed and wish to win back your favor."

"I have to give it time, Tanya, if you'll let me?"

She nodded. "I do too, Matt. Just not now, and not for a while, but someday, I swear."

Somehow, I knew she wasn't talking of her parents any longer. But I nodded in agreement. My life would change soon with my admittance to the Council of Six.

That night, though…I had a dream. No, it was a nightmare. I dreamt of fire. I could almost feel the heat on my skin. I dreamt of weapons ringing through the air, and shouting.

Most of all, I dreamt of the cries of war and the hammering of marching drums. Steel and horn, rock and bone, I know not how else to describe it. I dreamt of war and of bloodshed and great, hulking men and women with skin a sickly green color and as they turned Azeroth into a scorched land.

I awoke to the very early morning sunlight peering through my window.