A/N: So, I've noticed something: How few reviews this story is getting. I'm not usually one concerned about that, but the thing is that this is the only story I've ever written where I see more follows/favorites than reviews... and from traffic stats I know you guys are reading this. So hey, while I don't want to sound beggy, if Internet Explorer can ask to be your default browser, why can't I ask for your reviews.

Making raps near the Apollo Cabin was against the rules. If I were to tell you the ridiculously hilarious story behind this it would unfortunately eclipse the rest of this story's plot. So anyway, Percy was away from the Apollo Cabin, because he was trying to write a rap about his life. It went something like this:

Now, this is a story all about how

My life got flipped-turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute

So don't be a stick in the mud

I'll tell you how I became the hero of a place called Camp Half-Blood

In New York City born and raised

In school is where I spent most of my days

Trying not to get in trouble, I wasn't a fool

But I ended up getting kicked out every one of those schools

When this one mean Fury

Who was up to no good

Starting making trouble in my neighborhood

I got in one little fight and my mom's eyes got damp,

She said 'You're moving with Grover and Chiron all the way to camp!'

Any resemblance of this rap to a certain television show is purely coincidental and probably due to the fact that Percy had been sleeping when Leo had been watching television in the Poseidon cabin for a story which is completed unrelated to this one but quite hilarious anyway, so anyway, the reason that he was composing a rap was because he was trying to salvage what was left of his reputation as a hero. Nowadays, he was just seen as that weird kid over there, and though Percy had gained quite the cult following, they were all from people like Vanessa and Apollo which he really didn't need.

But the rap wasn't likely to help him, and that's when Grover approached Percy. Now, I'm sure you're all quite surprised that Grover even exists in this fanfic, but I assure you, he hasn't been forgotten entirely.

"So, Percy, what's going on?" Grover asked. Some people were beginning to get worried about Grover, Percy included. Apparently, Grover thought for some reason that they were all really in a universe that was just a parody of a story written by someone named Rick Riordan, and there were actually other parallel Percy Jackson universes that one could go to. Yeah right.

Percy told Grover about his overly useless problem.

"Hey, there's one thing that you could do," Grover said. "You see, remember that whole Watershire incident? Well, thanks to you and Jason, everyone in camp was covered in chicken feathers, and as we all know, Satyrs are allergic to chicken feathers."

"How was I supposed to know?" Percy asked.

"Everyone knows that Percy. Look it up," Grover said. "So anyway, thanks to that we weren't able to grow enough strawberries so our harvest went bad and we have no money, mainly thanks to you. So anyway, Mr. D managed to get us a deal with this Olympus Television company, you know, since the success of that video of you guy's reactions to stuff went smoothly, so we're going to be hosting a program called 'Demigod VS Wild' and we want you to star as the character for the first episode."

"I don't know..." Percy said. It sounded good, but lately all of his attempts to salvage his image had had the opposite effect.

"You do realize that this will mean that we won't get any money, which means that no one in camp has any money, right?" Grover asked.

Percy realized that he had just been forced into an uncomfortable position, but he decided that he had to accept. "Okay," Percy said.

Just then, Mr. D seemed to appear from nowhere. Like literally, it was like he fell from the sky.

"Did he take the bait?" Mr. D asked.

"Yup," Grover said.

"What?" Percy asked.

Mr. D wagged a finger. "That agreement counts as a verbal contract Percy. No backing out of this deal now. I suppose I need to take you to the location now."

"Wait what-" Percy said before he felt the dizzy sickness in his stomach. When he finally came to his senses, he noticed that he and Grover were no longer at Camp Half-Blood.

They were in the middle of the desert. And I don't mean next to an abandoned road or something like that, real hardcore in the desert, like seriously, they were in the middle of nowhere.

Grover seemed to have gotten a camera somehow. "So Percy, what do you want to say to our viewers?"

"What just happened?" Percy asked.

"Well, you see the Cloven Elders had gotten mad at the fact that you and Jason had done all of that, so we agreed to force you to be the star of this first show. Mr. D agreed for some reason too, but sorry Percy, we can't go back to camp until this first episode is done filming."

Percy made a mental note to kill Mr. D (even though he was immortal) and glanced around to notice that there was almost no water all around.

"Yeah, we didn't want it to be too easy," Grover said.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Percy asked.

"Well, you know, you're mainly just to go around and survive. When Mr. D thinks he has enough footage for one episode he'll bring us back." Grover said. "And you don't need to worry about me. I have enough food and drinks to last a week, except of course if you try to touch it it'll go away. You know, Mr. D made it like that."

Percy groaned. He was already beginning to sweat.

"But first," Grover said. "We're going to be doing a live feed and then cut it to a few hours later on. Here are a few questions from our viewers. Anyone? Hey, there's one from someone who calls himself Jay-son. He wants to ask 'Percy, are you gay?'"

"No," Percy said. Grover kept reading the question with a straight face, evidently he wasn't even paying attention to what the question was asking.

"Are you sure?" Grover asked.

"Yes," Percy said.

"Gay cross-dresser says what?" Grover asked.

"What?" Percy said.

"Jay-son would like for me to inform you that that means you're gay," Grover said. "And a cross-dresser."

Percy sighed. This wasn't going to end well.

And so we now return to our much in demand, Ask Dionysus section.

Q. Do you follow Twitch Plays Pokemon?

A. Eh? Okay, first of all, how are so many questions getting to me? I was sure those leopards were ferocious and yet I still see several questions a day...

Q. Mr. D, if there is a monster outbreak in Vegas, does it stay in Vegas?

A. Let's send you over to Vegas and see.

Q. Mr. D, there's a problem with my microwave. You see, if I press in 60 and 60 it makes two minutes, but 60 plus 60 is 120, so how is that two minutes?

A. I... I... I'm sure you're from the Ares cabin. Here's my advice, don't try working with technology.

Q. Mr. D, why aren't we allowed to rap outside the Apollo cabin?

A. Heh, I just laughed for five minutes as I remembered that incident. You must be new here, so just go and ask someone else.

Q. Mr. D, what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

A. Periwinkle. Next question

Q. Mr. D, my friend bet me five drachmas this wouldn't get in?

A. Well guess what, you've just lost five drac- wait, I just put this in, didn't I? Well, don't say I didn't do anything for you.

Q. Mr. D, you were wondering last issue who caused the Hatorade mixup. Uh, I can say for sure that I saw Hermes doing it.

A. I should have known! Okay, so in classic god fashion, I'm totally going to believe you and go take on Hermes though you've shown me absolutely no evidence at all.

Percy decided that he might as well do something. "Okay, so I'm going to try and measure the time using Riptide as a sundial." He thought it'd look cool.

He planted the sword in the ground and from the length of the shadow, he determined that it must have been nine a.m., give or take an hour. It was really four p.m., so he was off by around seven hours.

...

And so the day went on. 'Jay-son' started sending more dumb questions, but the heat was what was really beginning to get to Percy.