Picking Up the Pieces
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine. Sniffle.
Gotta love psychology class. I'm about 95 sure that Donnie's explanation is spot on but there's probably a detail or two that I missed. However, the gist of the idea is there so sit back, read, enjoy, and get a brief insight as to how a memory is formed, retained and remembered.
And, yeah, it's a short chapter compared to the last couple but I promise to make up for it in the next chapter.
Chapter Fourteen: A Thing about Hippos
Cold…
It's so cold…
Why is it so cold…
I need… to get out of here… it's bad for a turtle to get so cold. My thoughts are fuzzed over… What happened… I was… trying to remember… who I was… had some kind of… seizure… no… it wasn't a muscle spasm… it was in my head… all in my head… can you have a seizure in your mind… was worth it though… I know who I am… I'm Donatello… Donnie… Don… so much has happened to me… is that why I feel so spaced out… did I overload my mind or something… need to pull myself together… have to warm up… it's so cold… so… cold…
…
…
Something echoes through my head but it's to grabble for me to make out. It sounds like the noise is going through water after being admitted from a static filled radio. What is that? I want to look behind myself where the noise is coming from but… I can't move. I'm trying to move, to do something, but my body stays limp. Unresponsive. What the shell? I guess I really did overload my mind if I can't even move. I can't even make my fingers flinch. This sucks.
Ohhh… that feels good. When did I get so cold? I didn't realize how cold I was until that warm hand landed on my shoulder. Okay, I can do without the shaking. My head really hurts. Do I have a concussion or something? It sure feels like it. That noise starts up again first really loud and away from me and then softer. Shell, stop shaking me! I wish I could move. I'm getting sick and tired of my head hurting and the shaking is only aggravating the pain even more.
Huh? Why was I laying face down on the ground? Did I fall or something? My head really hurts. I wonder if I knocked it off the floor. No, it was hurting this bad before I collapsed. Now there are two people with me, one on either side of me, holding me up slightly. I wish I could thank them, being off the floor is a lot warmer. If I didn't respond to the shaking do you really think patting me on the cheek is going to work?
That noise again. Is someone trying to talk to me? I can't understand you, whoever you are. I wish I could. They sound upset. Are they mad at me? The hand has stopped patting my cheek and is resting against my throat. Yes, I am alive. I just can't move and I'm still cold. I hope these guys take me somewhere warm soon. I'm cold blooded and that's never a good thing when mixed with cold air.
Ahh… That's better. Someone's slipped their arms behind my shoulders and under my knees, picking my up and holding me against their chest. Whoever this is, he/she is so much warmer then I am. It's almost painful. I wonder where I'm being taken. That noise again. It's so soft, like someone's whispering or maybe they're just really far away from me. Is the sound echoing? Shell, I wish I could open my eyes so can know what's going on. Twitching my finger would be highly appreciated right now.
I'm not to thrill that you're putting me down, you know that right? At least I'm being set down on something soft. Am I- yup, I'm back on the couch again. Why are they insisting on putting me on the couch when there is a sick bay in my lab? The couch is comfy but all this laying on my right shoulder is beginning to make it hurt. And whoever it was that brought me here is beginning to stand up again. Hello? I'm freezing here and you're warm. Get back here!
I must have made some kind of noise because the person suddenly freezes with his arms half out from under me. I bet that this is Red. He is the only one who can pick me up. I think. There's that noise again. I wonder if he's talking to me. The arm under my leg is freed and the hand gently presses against the side of my face. Come on, Donnie, open your eyes. He's worried about you. Ah-ha! I felt that twitch. Come on you can do it…
Yes! My eyes are open! Now if only I could focus them on something then I would be in business. I can make out this large dark green blur above me centered in a swirling mass of tan and gray. Oooohhhh… I feel sick… better close my eyes again before I puke all over Red. He pats my face twice and says something. Would you cut that out? I'm trying not to puke on you. Another voice joins Red's. I still don't have a clue of what they are saying. Even that gibberish language that they are speaking isn't making it through my muddled head. It all sounds muffled to the point where I can't understand it.
More voices, loud and worried, suddenly echo through the room. Shell, could they turn it down a notch? My head is still throbbing. Maybe I can tell them to shut up? Oh shell, that was too embarrassing. I was trying to say something and all I did was manage to whine. At least it made everyone quite down. Their voices are much softer but still sound worried. What the- Oh… a blanket. Why is it hot? It feels warm. Duh! An electric blanket. Man, I'm so screwed up if I can't even make the connection between a warm blanket and an electric blanket. At least now I'll be warm again.
Hhhmmm… there's a problem I didn't count on. The heat is making me sleepy. It's not a good idea for me to fall asleep with a concussion. Do I have a concussion? I remember catching myself before I hit the floor… kind of. At least I didn't hit as hard as I could have. The hand on my face leaves only to be replaced by another one, this one slightly furry… Rat? "…pwleeb? Mbcpwleeb, dr xbc, npc rbv ilpy dl?" Yeah, it's Rat and he really sounds worried about me.
I really want to sleep. To just shut my eyes and relax sounds so appealing right now but I don't want these guys to worry about me. They have to be important to me if I'm always worried about their well being. I thought Orange was my brother last night maybe they really are my family or something. Ugh… my head hurts again… I need to get them to relax before I pass out again. Shell, I hope I don't do that. I hate being seen as weak in front of them. I know I'm not a good fighter but they don't need to always be babying me. I'm just as tough as they are.
Okay. Ignore the fact that you're tired and open your eyes again. That's it. Slowly my eyes flutter open again and I look up into Rat's furry face. He smiles at me gently, the worry in his eyes dimming slightly. "Dr xbc," his says gently. Who- oh, the turtles are gathered around the couch, watching me with anxious eyes. Red looks like he's going to strangle something. Why is his answer to everything anger? Blue looks so worried he appears younger then he is. How old is he really? He acts like he's going on thirty but I know he's not that old. He's my age maybe a year older at most. Orange looks like he's going to start crying again.
I give him a pain smile that probably looks more like a grimace. I wiggle my hand free from the blanket and give him the okay sign accompanied with a huge yawn. I can tell by everyone's faces how much my hand sign was appreciated. Hopefully that will prevent them from freaking out again. I have a bad feeling this is going to happen again. I feel my eyes begin to flutter shut. Man, I'm tired. I yawn again and close my eyes.
"Xella tlee, dy xbc."
…
…
…
Mmmmmm…..
Ugh…
Hmmm… What?! Crud, can't a turtle get some sleep around here?! I open one eye and give Orange a less then friendly glare. I'm tired. Go away and let me sleep. He just gives me a soft smile. Oh water. I am really thirsty. I guess I should wake up and at least drink something. I need to hydrate at some point. I nod my head and yawn into the pillow. Why am I so tired? Possibly a side affect of the mental overload I went through.
I sit up. Shell, I'm still cold. I pull the blanket around me before taking the offered glass from Orange. I wonder how long I've been asleep. I stop sipping from the glass as catch sight of the display on the DVD player. Three? In the afternoon? Assuming that they found me around seven thirty that means I've been out for the better part of the day. Almost eight hours of sleep. Guess I was making up for my sleepless night last night.
"Ilr Mbcchl." Huh? Oh, Lady is here too. Guess she and Man were called shortly after I was found in the workshop. Orange folds a leg under himself and perches next to me on the couch while Lady sits on the coffee table. I watch as she takes one of my wrists and looks at her watch. My pulse is probably low since I just woke up. She seems relieved. Was my pulse irregular earlier? "Ihx avexl hx cbydpe pjphc ovw il swhee kllex nbem." She looks toward Orange, "Dhflr, pxf ihd hk il'x nbem pcm khcm bvw ibt il'x kllehcj."
"Jbwwnip. Mbc." Huh? Orange points to me and shivers dramatically, complete with crossed arms and chattering teeth. I can't help but snicker at him. What a goob. I hold my finger and thumb close to each other. "Il'x p ehwwel nbem," Orange reports to Lady. He points to me and looks concerned as he gives and okay sign, pointing at it with his other hand. I guess I feel alright. Other then being tired and cold I feel fine. I am kind of hungry. I yawn – really don't have to fake that one- pull the blanket tighter around myself for a moment and then look down at my empty stomach and place a hand over it. "Mbc?" I look back at him and he holds up his hands like he was weighting two things on it. He holds up one hand and then holds his stomach pressing his hand to his mouth as if he was going to be sick. He sits up again and weights the air before holding up the opposite hand and pretending to eat something. I point to the eating option. Now can I go get something to eat?
"Pcm il'x whylm pcm ivcjyr. Bwily wilc wipw il xprx il kllex khcl." Lady doesn't look that happy. She releases a gusty sigh that send her bangs fluttering away from her face. Shell, she's so beautiful. Even when she's frustrated she's gorgeous. She gets up and walks back over to the table where Man and Rat are. Guess they still have no idea on what's wrong with me. "Jlw ihd xbdlwihcj wb lpw pcm wilc wyr pcm jlw ihd wb jb opnf wb xella," she calls over her shoulder. Is there something wrong with her? I turn back to Orange and point to her and then make the okay sign.
He frowns but before he can answer Blue's voice comes from behind the couch. "H'ee dpfl ihd xbdl xbva, rbv wtb flla ihd ptpfl." I glance over the back of the couch to see Blue walking away. Red is waking over and with a huff flops down in the recliner. He places his foot under the back of the remote that is just barely hanging off the end of the coffee table. In one quick motion, flips it up end over end to easily catch it in his waiting hand.
"Payhe? Mhxnbulyr ipx wipw Pkyhnpc themehkl dpypwibc wihcj bc wbmpr, yhjiw?" I don't know who he asked or even what it is but he doesn't wait for an answer before turning on the television and begins flipping through the channels at a dizzying speed. Are all the flashing lights good for me? What if I really did have a seizure? Since I haven't had one yet I doubt if the lights are going to trigger one now.
"Ummm… Tbvemc'w il ypwily tpwni Xnh-kh? Wilr'yl ipuhcj p Xwpy Wylf dpypwibc."
"Wihx hx Mbc tl'yl wpefhcj pobvw ilyl, Dhflr, cbw rbv. Il ehflx wil xibtx tilyl rbv npc elpyc swvkk," Red says as he stops flipping through the channels. Oh, Africa. Looks like a documentary on the wildlife there. Wish I could understand what they are saying. Actually… I think I've seen this exact show before…
"Ovw… Xwpy Wylf wlpnilx rbv pee fhcm bk hdabywpcw xwvkk! Ehfl… Ehfl… ibt wil jvr tlpyhcj ylm petprx mhlx pcm ibt wb xella thwi opyler nepm kldpel pehlcx!" I wonder what Orange is babbling about now. It seems like he's trying to annoy Red and doing a good job at it too. Red looks like he's about to lean over and whack him in the side of the head. Wouldn't surprise me if he did that either. The show is now panning around a watering hole. Elephants, gazelles, zebras, oh my. Now a crocodile needs to explode out of the water or a lion pounce from the tall grass. Actually, scratch that thought about the crocodile attacking. There are hippopotamuses in the water and crocodiles tend to avoid getting near them unless they are starving. Don't blame them. Look at that hippo yawn. Even if they are herbivores I'd hate to see what a bite from one of them looks like.
Wait… hippopotamus… hippo… why does that seem so familiar? Hippo… it's more then just an animal… Shell! That's it! I jump off the couch, blanket and cold body forgotten as I point at the screen. "That's what's wrong with me!" I look at Red and Orange who are staring back at me like I have just gone off the deep end. "Oh come on… it's not that bad," I said to them. "I just figured out what Doctor Saka did to me. The drugs he gave me have distorted my hippocampus."
They are still looking at me like I'm nuts. Guess I'm going to have to explain to them what a hippocampus is. "Look the hippocampus is part of the limbic system and is linked to the processing, storing and retrieval of explicit memories. See, there are two types of memories, explicit and implicit. Explicit memories you have to consciously recall. These are memories about personal experiences and general facts and knowledge. Implicit memories you don't have to consciously recall. These would be motor skills and the cognitive thought processes, like learning and problem solving.
Anyways, with my hippocampus under the effects of the drugs it is having trouble retrieving everything I have previously learned which explains a lot about what is going on with me right now. I've retained my subconscious thought process which is what is allowing me to be able to pull off all those cool ninja tricks and helping me to pick apart this problem because those are stored differently in the brain. However, my hippocampus doesn't remember where my explicit memories are stored and either can't retrieve it or is improperly retrieving it. That explains why I don't recognize anything but as long as I don't consciously think about something I can recognize it."
They still have completely blank looks on their faces. Okay, I'll make it a little easier through an example. "Ummm… Think of it this way. When you form a new memory you make a book about it and a movie. The movie is stored in your subconscious thought so you can recognize and react to different situations with out having to remember the whole memory before hand. The book, which is the entire memory down to the last detail you want to remember, is sent to library which is run by the hippocampus. The hippocampus stores the memory on the shelves and makes a card catalog so when that particular memory is needed it can go retrieve it and give it to the part of the brain that needs it.
The drugs I was given are cause the hippocampus to screw up. The drugs have switched everything around in the card catalog so the hippocampus retrieves the wrong information instead of the right one. It knows where the memories that I have formed after I was given the drugs because the hippocampus has just received the books and knows that their cards in the catalog are right. The headaches I keep getting are when the hippocampus is close to finding the right memory. Last night must have been when the hippocampus was able to figure out a large chunk of the catalog. My brain was unable to process the sudden rush of information so it temporarily shut down my conscious thought which caused my to pass out." I feel a smile spread across my face. Since when did I start pacing back and forth in front of the television? Hm... anyways, "And that my fellow turtles is what is wrong with me in a nutshell."
Why are they still looking at my like I've gone nuts? I know that these two aren't that stupid. How simple do I have to lay it out for them? Should I go find some props act out my explanation next?
"Mhm Mbc gvxw ipul pc lahaipcr buly p ihaababwpdvx?" What did Orange just say?
"Xwba vshcj ohj tbymx tilc rbv mbc'w fcbt wil dlpchcj bk wild, Dhflr."
Oh shell… It also explains this whole communication issue. My hippocampus is trying to give what I know about languages to my Wernicke' area but it is giving out the wrong information. That is why I can't understand them and they can't understand me. The Wenicke's area deals with the understanding and expressing of speech. I subconsciously know how to talk but I can't remember how to form the sounds properly and I can't recognize them.
Why me?
Why does it always have to be me?
Shell… and I've got a headache… again. I know it's a good thing but right now, my headache can go to shell and back. Who knows, maybe it'll find my memory along the way.
I can only hope…