AN: Moi moi, dear readers. Peruma here. So, this was a chapter that I had more or less planned since before even starting this story. It's something I've been dying to write, but somehow I still couldn't muster up the motivation to actually write all that much the last week. It's really stupid. But anyway, now I've finished it and even though I'm not really all that happy with it, I'll just upload it and get on with the story. I'm not all that good with writing fight scenes in English yet, so please excuse me if it sounds a little wooden, I tried my best. Oh, and I based a lot of the team's interaction in this chapter on Naruto Shippuden's episode 360, if any of you were wondering. (But only rewatch that after reading, please)
Anywho, onto community service! Once again, I thank all my lovely reviewers for taking the time to drop a comment. Every single one of you brightens my day and it's a great way to guilt trip me into writing when I'm feeling lazy ;) Unless its a demand for an update ... That doesn't motivate nearly as much as a "Thank you for the chapter". But that's just me. Nevertheless, I enjoy all of your reviews, no matter what you decide to write :)
Before we get started, I just wanted to congratulate all the smart cookies that figured out that the ninken last chapter was Bisuke. Did you have to look that up? Because I definatly didn't know all of Kakashi's dogs before writing this story.
To orlha: Technically Kakashi isn't famous for failing his teams yet, because this is his first team. So Gai honestly couldn't know the outcome, it's just Hikari that knows at this point. Still frustrating, though.
To JaguarVakarian: You are absolutely right, continual sorrow does get kinda dull in a story. However, I was of the opinion that I was putting some bright spots in here and there. Were they too little?
To iluvstorys: Hehe, you are correct, by now Hikari's insistence that Kakashi will be better off without knowing is stupid and needlessly making her life difficult. But she herself hasn't realized that and it's hard to change your mind on an opinion you've held for such a long time.
To CANT HANDLE THIS VANILLA: Yes, in the depths of my shrivelled black heart I am only plotting how to make Hikari suffer even more. Muhahaha.
To yankey: Why would the Inuzuka find out? That ninken was one of Kakashi's summon animals xD And yes, Itachi is aware that Hikari dealt with her injury herself, which is why he left her a warning and evidence against Danzo should she get in trouble with him. That doesn't include anything about the massacre though, so Itachi is unaware that Hikari knows the truth. And yeah, Hikari is a bit hard on Gai, but she's too frustrated to be fair. Emotions are hard to ignore like that.
To Puppet Dragon: Hoo, that's a very keen analysis. Yes, the first thing Bisuke did when returning to the summoning realm was to inform the pack. They had a giant argument on what to do and whether or not Bisuke was even correct in his suspicion. The result was that Pakkun, as pack leader, gets to decide the next time Kakashi summons him. Y'know, if you were wondering. I actually decided to involve Kakashi's ninken because so many people suggested it and it fit pretty well into the plot. And yeah, Gai and Kakashi aren't very nosy for elite shinobi. Gai because he genuinely wants to get to know Hikari by interacting with her, and Kakashi because he doesn't want to admit he cares :P And yes, Hikari always walks the hardest path because I'm sick and tired of Self Inserts getting everything they want or need just because they're the main character.
To Ardishana: Wow, thank you for that very thoughtful review! Nice assessment of Kakashi's ninken, you're on the right track, though I won't say more than that. And we are all awaiting the moment when finally Kakashi knows he's the baby daddy, it's gonna be such a drama, I can already feel it itching in my fingertips. Yes, Iruka is a very good teacher who wouldn't have turned a blind eye to bullying or Hikari's condition, but I can't imagine everybody is so enthused to be stuck in the village teaching a bunch of brats. It's not like Konoha trains her shinobi to be good teachers. Oh, and about mutant rats: Ever heard of Lamarck? Many writers are obviously big fans of Lamarckian evolution :P But yeah, them meeting Tora would be hilarious, I might even write that :)
To j'aimel'anime44163: I would say "Google is your friend", but I tried and in this case it really isn't. Isi is Finnish, a language I personally like a lot even if I can barely speak it.
To The Eigth Shichibukai: Aww, I love you too :3 And I keep telling you people, I did not originally plan for Benjiro to die but you keep planting such mean ideas in my head ...
To cwrywn: Thank you for the reviews! And remember, even adult minds can be meek. Not every adult is a strong indipendant personality who doesn't take shit from no-one. Also, Hikari won't hurt dogs ... probably :P
To greenisacolorto: Pff, you're not the only one who wanted Itachi to murder Keiko as well, but woe me, I didn't do it :P Got other plans for that woman :D
To Diaholilyn: Why thanks! Cool that you noticed that I'm trying to build up the over-all tension constantly instead of working in arcs :D
I do not own Naruto.
14
Dawn cracks over Konoha, chasing the moody twilight away with the first errant rays of sunshine. I have spent the whole night at my alley, unable to sleep and too wary to be up and about in the Uchiha compound. Sitting on top of the long since empty cages in the dead end, I watch the sky lighten gradually. My tired body is set in its cross-legged position, back straight and my hands linked in the Monkey seal.
Channelling my chakra through the seal helps calming it, keeping a steady and slow flow throughout the body. It's about as much rest as I can give it without sleeping.
Using the hand seals has a much different effect on my chakra flow now as opposed to my first forays into the topic before I messed up my coils. I understand why it changed, of course, but it peeves me that even with my little work-around I'm unable to fully recover from the incident.
As for the reason why the hand seals refuse to work properly...
The human chakra network is especially well developed in the hands and, to a lesser extend, in the feet. Each finger, except for the pinkie, has one major pathway running down its length, two in case of the thumb even. Those pathways connect in the metacarpus to a network of pathways that run together into two points at the wrist and continue into the coils of the forearm from there.
At every natural intersection of chakra vessels there is a tenketsu, a "joint" in the chakra network, from which chakra can enter or exit the coils more readily than along the walls of chakra vessels. Naturally, since there are a lot of pathways criss-crossing through the back of a human hand, there are a disproportional amount of tenketsu in the hand as well, which leads to chakra being most easily manipulated by using one's hands.
Hand seals are designed to connect certain tenketsu near the epidermis by placing them in close proximity to each other. This creates a loop with the coils of the arms and chest, through which chakra can continuously flow and be shaped. The smoothest loop created by hand seals is the Monkey. You choose a direction and simply push chakra along the track, running clockwise or counter-clockwise along the circle of your arms. It's beautiful and soothing and perfect for deep meditation.
Other hand seals create a comparatively disturbed chakra flow, which is useful if you need to shape your chakra into a specific form or pattern in order to execute a jutsu.
However, thanks to the ruptures in my chakra pathways -that, annoyingly, still haven't healed even just a little- and the resulting detours I need to guide my chakra through, which quite often avoid tenketsu that are too close to the ruptures, the flow that the different seals produce is much more erratic. It's a toss-up whether the truly messy state of my vessels or my conscious guiding of the flow creates more disturbances but the end result is mostly useless.
At this point it's certainly easier to figure out what effects certain seals would have on the over-all chakra flow in a normal system and then mimic it without using the seals. Which is how I am able to perform the three basic Academy jutsu. It was a lot more work to learn them like that, since we were taught the sequence of hand seals and the theory behind the jutsu but not in detail how the chakra is supposed to move to achieve the wanted result, which meant that I had to reconstruct and understand the techniques on a deeper level than my classmates.
In the end, that approach granted me a much better control over the jutsu as well as being able to perform them sealless, a major achievement on its own. I have to admit though that I'm not fast enough in executing the techniques to use them in combat yet. Pushing your chakra through a few seals is a lot easier and faster done than to coerce it into the correct pattern from scratch.
The monkey seal is the only one of the twelve that I can still use without much hindrance and I greatly appreciate the smooth quality it gives my chakra. On sleepless nights like this one, I sometimes spend hours meditating like this, calming the body and letting the mind roam until it distils into nothingness.
There is only one major downside to it.
My limbs are stiff as plywood.
Groaning, I loosen my position, carefully pulling my feet down from the thighs they rested on. My knees creak ominously and I rub the top of my legs, hoping to get the blood flow up again fast. Raising my arms over my head, I stretch the kinks out of my wrists and shoulders, curling and uncurling my fingers before I turn my torso this way and that to tease out a series of pops from my spine.
I shake out my limbs and stand up, climbing down from the cages in the process. Most of my gear is still in the Uchiha compound and it would be a good idea to retrieve what I need for today now rather than when the sun has fully risen over the horizon, so I head out of the alley in that direction.
The streets are quiet yet, the morning too early for even the early birds. Only a few shinobi and the occasional nurse stumbling home from a nightshift can be seen. Actually, there are more than a few people that I would peg as civilian doctors or nurses around. It seems as if the small, civilian clinic has its shift change around this time of the day. I know that the one in Konoha central isn't for another few hours yet.
Huh, well, the more you know.
Nobody takes notice of me, or, at least they don't pay much attention, which is alright by me. Many of Konoha's populace know me by sight, since I spend a whole lot of my time out and about in the streets and roadways. Stall and buisness owners know to keep a keen eye on their wares whenever they spot me, but since I've not yet been caught with my fingers in someone else's pockets, passers-by mostly ignore my presence. Like I'm part of the scenery.
It's good to be inconspicuous like that. It means no-one takes an interest when I stroll up the street to the gate leading into the walled-off Uchiha district. If I don't do that too often in plain sight, nobody cares even the slightest where I go. By now I have probably explored all of Konoha except for the other clan compounds. Civilian or shinobi doesn't matter in that case, because neither welcome random strangers into their holdings.
It's kind of what a compound is for, actually. To provide those living within privacy from the plebeians. But no-one lives in the Uchiha compound anymore, so no-one really looks out for strangers trying to enter. People just don't. The idea that these streets were drenched in blood not too long ago is enough to ward off most people. Konoha might be a shinobi village and civilians living here might have accepted that they live so close to murderers, but the Uchiha massacre shook everyone to their core and the empty compound is an uncomfortable reminder of it.
Once inside the district, I keep to the walls of the looming buildings, inhabited by none but ghosts. The Uchiha district is large, larger than most other clan compounds, but space wasn't a luxury for the clan members, back when they were still alive. The buildings along the main road are just as crammed as those in Konoha's central buisness district.
From what I understand, every last Uchiha shinobi had been forced to relocate into the district after it was established. With a clan that large, that had been mixing with and flourishing among Konoha's populace, that had made for a very sudden, very dramatic influx in inhabitants.
I know from Itachi that the Uchiha valued their families and relations. Before the Kyuubi incident, no-one, not even the stuffiest of clan elders, would have denied their relatives the right to move out of the compound and follow their dreams. So long as they stay in close contact to the clan, was understood without being stated. Having to pull back and shackle their family to an existence few were satisfied with must have hurt even the coldest conservative's heart.
There had been a reason that when Uchiha Madara tried to rile his clan up for revolution, they had refused. Even his peers had seen the way their family prospered in Konoha and had not wanted to disturb the peace achieved after unending times of war.
The Uchiha had been loyal to Konoha, in complete support of the idea it was founded on.
Now, I walk through the ghosts left behind by a family, betrayed by those they thought comrades and brothers-in-heart. Isolated without reason despite their never-ending love for the village. Shackled and bound to the job they had once been prideful to fulfil, unthanked and despised, until they learned to hate it.
One cannot hate without having loved first.
It is why I can't bring myself to hate that woman, now that I am out of her grasp. I have never loved her, never expected her to love me and never disappointed in that. She is scum, she is despicable, there is nothing good I can tell of her, but still I have no motivation to go and take bloody revenge on her.
The Uchiha, however, had loved Konoha. Loved it so much that the rejection they faced and the disappointment they felt, was enough to plan a violent coup to regain the standing they had lost.
I wonder if I am the only one that can see it. Whenever Itachi had slipped and hinted at the dilemma he had faced, he never seemed to truly understand what drove his father and the elders to plot civil war. He saw it as wrong, as an unproductive attempt to fix something only time and good PR could soothe, and it was. But humans are don't always make logical decisions. Not even shinobi trained to be unfeeling tools can escape emotions. Every human action is decided upon in emotions. Whether someone acts on their feelings or acts in denial of their feelings, the decision will always be influenced.
I reach the house I have been inhabiting for a good half year now. It starts to stand out as the only one not showing signs of disrepair. The detail is barely noticeable now, but I am sure that it will start becoming more obvious the longer I keep the maintenance up.
It's an unnecessary risk, but I nobody can claim that I am driven by logical decisions.
When I enter through the front door to the sight of the hallway, of the open shoji doors leading to kitchen and living room and the stairs leading up to the second story, it feels more like coming home than anything else I have experienced since my rebirth.
The house looks exactly like when I first entered it, during an especially freezing winter night, plagued by the howling winds and descending snow. There is no dust to be seen, no stains on the new tatami mats, possibly exchanged when their former owner stained them red in a most irreversible way. Every book and scroll on the shelves are in the same position as I found them in, even if I did read all of them.
When I walk into the small guest room I have been sleeping in, there is no sign of my passing, except for the continued tidiness. I open the cupboard let into the wall, looking at the folded up futon residing there. Pulling it out reveals the space left for a second futon, that the former owner never got around to buying.
There are all my worldly possessions, sealed away into a neatly stacked pile of scrolls. All of them written and gifted by Itachi. The only one missing is the one tied with a pretty, red bow. That one lies buried twenty metres into the ground under the tatami mats of the living room.
I have memorized all the information it has to offer.
I will not unearth it willingly until I am ready to use it against Danzo.
I shudder at the possibility of it being discovered.
Pushing thoughts of inconspicuous scrolls and unbearable burdens aside, I unseal a fresh set of rumpled clothes as well as a thigh holster for weapons and a hair tie. After I change into the overly large clothes I have sewn to better fit me, I bandage the ends of the cut off shinobi pants to my calves as well as the place on my right thigh I clip my holster to, I tie my wild hair into a tail that sits heavily against my neck.
With the mop out of the way, I set my hitai-ate over my forehead where it belongs. Even if an enemy shinobi decides to grab the cloth it's sewn on instead of my pony tail, it will simply slip off and enable me to escape the grip.
I don't eat any of the unperishables sealed into the scrolls, partly because Kakashi ordered no breakfast to be eaten, but also because I have eaten my fill at the dumpster in my alley yesterday evening. By now I'm more than used to only eating once a day and it's not a problem as long as that one meal is enough to satisfy my needs.
My way out of the Uchiha compound leads through the back door, which I close carefully behind me, and over the district wall bordering the house's back yard.
Around quarter past five, I'm at the memorial stone. A long time I simply stare at it, letting my thoughts trail along inconsistencial paths. Then, Kenchiki arrives, hurrying into the clearing by the training post with a good ten minutes to spare.
He promptly doubles over to catch his breath. The training ground is comparatively close to the centre village, but it is still far enough for a civilian to consider it a long way. Why a Genin, no matter how fresh, struggles with the length of the track is not quite understandable to me.
Maybe he got lost?
Either way, I decide to join him in the neighbouring clearing where the three training posts reside.
"Good morning", I greet.
"Morning", Kenchiki wheezes without looking up. When he finally does, his eyes widen in surprise and a near silent "Oh" escapes his lips, before he frowns. I decide to ignore the reaction.
"How are you?"
For a very long, uncomfortable moment Kenchiki remains silent. Then he seems to decide that talking to me won't necessarily end in a catastrophe, because he replies with a scowled "Fine". He doesn't return the question, instead glowering at me with tired eyes. I decide to ignore that as well and focus on the fact that he responded in the first place.
"What do you think we will be doing today?" Of course, I am pretty certain that we will have to face the bell test, but I'm trying to make small talk, not actually have a real conversation.
"Training, obviously." Kenchiki tries to scoff, but he can't put the amount of derision and disdain into it other people manage. The effect is so minimal, it's negligible.
"That makes sense", I concede, "So, what shinobi class are you most interested in? I find genjutsu pretty interesting."
Kenchiki scowls and gestures toward the short sword strapped to his back. "Kenjutsu." And with that he turns away decisively and sits down at the base of one training post.
Holding back a sigh, I settle myself with crossed legs on top of the post next to the one Kenchiki uses as a backrest. A few minutes later, Utamara enters the clearing. He sees us, scoffs derisively, suppresses a yawn rather badly and leans against a tree, trying way to hard to look aloof and dignified.
The hours drag on in silence, except for the yawns that go around. Kenchiki starts dosing with closed eyes about an hour into the wait. By the two hour mark, Utamara has given up his act and sat down in the patchy grass and plays with a kunai.
I practise my hand seals, cataloguing the reactions they cause in my chakra flow. Then, I decide to start prodding my network to make yet another small pathway circumventing a rupture. This one should branch off right behind a tenketsu and very closely pass by the ruptured vessel. It takes a few, painful tries before I have found a good path for the single tendril of chakra around the tissues still damaged with chakra poisoning.
Those scars around my injuries are only very slowly receding and getting better, but at least they have made marked improvements. At the rate they are healing, I would suspect the soft tissue damage to me negligible with another year left to heal.
The injured vessels themselves show no signs of knitting back together. The vessel walls around the ruptures are stiff and hardened, not pliable and somewhat flexible as they should be, and I can only assume that through the massive amounts of chakra that pushed their way out of my coils have, sort of, cauterized the edges or the rips, blocking any tentative healing that might otherwise have happened.
But that's only my current theory.
It might be completely off.
That has happened to me before. If I think back on the time I played around with the chakra output in a live rat brain's hippocampus ... Well, the primary results were not at all what I had envisioned.
It's been a long time since I've played around with my rats ... Such a shame that all my rats are dead and gone. I guess that means, I'll have to source some new test subjects if I have the time.
If I don't pass Kakashi's test.
Maybe he would take me as an apprentice? Even if he fails the team as a whole?
But I know that it's unlikely. Not only do I fully expect Kakashi to insist of only teaching a team of Genin, if at all, because he believes it's needed to learn proper teamwork. I also remember very keenly how Kakashi ran after I asked him to teach me something once.
A girl can hope, though.
I wonder if his ninken talked to him yet.
At the thought, I pause and take a look at my feelings. Would I even be upset if Kakashi learns he's my father now?
It feels wrong. Kakashi is probably still not in a right mind, having been released from Anbu just a few months ago. And I don't explicitly need his help. I'm more than capable of handling myself.
But it would be nice not having to look after myself. It would be a dream to wear clothes I didn't steal from empty houses and not to stink of trash every time I eat a full meal.
Would it be so bad if Kakashi was my father? In more than just as a contributor to my genes? What kind of father would he even be if he knew?
"Yo."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
From one moment to the next, Kakashi is standing in the middle of the clearing, facing us with a slump in his shoulders and his hands in his pockets. He looks wholly unbothered when Kenchiki jumps up and accuses him of being late.
When the man simply shrugs in answer, Kenchiki looks about read to go on a rant. A rant which I am not interested in hearing. At all. Which is why I accidentally bump into him when I slide off the training post. It works well to redirect him because he rounds on me and aims a punch at my shoulder in retribution.
I back off just enough for him to miss me and hold my hands up in a peaceable gesture. It doesn't mean much for a shinobi, especially when it puts the hands in a better position to attack or defend. But it does the trick and Kenchiki doesn't follow up, instead he scowls and turns back to our supposed Sensei.
Kakashi hadn't bothered to intervene in our byplay, but when Utamara joins us on Kenchiki's other side, he eyes each of us critically.
"Now that you are done with your childish squabble..." -a disapproving eye lands on me and Kenchiki and both of us flinch- "...we can continue. My name is-"
"Kakashi-sensei, right?", drawls Utamara and I don't know whether it's balls or stupidity that gives him the idea to interrupt a Jounin. Konoha might be more lenient than other Villages but talking back to a superior is not tolerated here either.
"Look", the suicidal boy continues, sticking his pointy nose upwards in a display of pure arrogance, "let's just get this over with. Who cares about the formalities?"
I know that it's hard for most people to interpret Kakashi's expression, but the utter contempt with which the Jounin is regarding him should have been obvious to Utamara. Apparently the boy has no self-preservation, though, because he continues talking, taking Kakashi's silence as agreement.
"So, I hear that you were going to test us today, right?"
"Right", agrees Kakashi in a flat tone, cutting off anything else my idiot teammate might have added. He pulls his right hand out of his pants pocket and dangles two silver bells on red string in front of our faces. "Your task is to retrieve the bells from me, whoever doesn't have a bell by noon fails the test and goes back to the Academy. Use any means at your disposal. Begin."
There is a moment of quiet as Kakashi attached the little bells to his belt and once again pockets his hand. Then the boys charge at him. I draw a kunai and follow closely behind Kenchiki.
Utamara's kunai swipe is easily dodged and repaid with a kick to the sternum that sends the boy flying back through the clearing.
Kenchiki has drawn his short sword and holds it out to the right as he runs at Kakashi. He's just turning it into a wide swing, probably aimed at the Jounin's unprotected middle, when Kakashi's foot swipes in an upward arc, catching the boys torso and launching him into the air.
I use the opening to dash forwards, aiming to cut into Kakashi's hamstring with the kunai in my right while my left hand makes a grab for the bells. But before I can reach him, the man brings down the foot he raised, delivering a punishing hammer blow onto my shoulder. I fold like a wet blanket, eating dirt when I hit the ground. A heartbeat later, a kick to the side sends me tumbling across the ground and away from Kakashi's position.
Wheezing, I get up. My side hurts, but it isn't much of an injury, so I can ignore it easily enough. Rolling my shoulder, I test the flexibility of the joint, but again the hit, painful as it was, didn't do much damage.
Palming another kunai to replace the one I dropped, I circle around Kakashi's back while he fends off the boys easily without ever needing his hands. I'm under no illusion that Kakashi has failed to notice me creeping out of his line of sight, but maybe I can still manipulate him into one of the boys' attacks. That counts as teamwork, right?
Warily I creep forward, moving with Kakashi in order to stay at his back, while he almost lazily defends himself from my teammates. As I get myself into range to attack, I try to catalogue the boy's fighting styles to predict their movements and plan for my own.
Surprisingly, Kenchiki's movements are not as obvious in their pattern as Utamara's. The sandy-haired boy lost his sword during his first failed charge and is now slashing away with kunai that he liberally flings at Kakashi whenever the Jounin evades his attacks. Given that the angles at which he throws them are not exactly advantageous, none of them have the momentum or accuracy to actually contribute to the fight, but it is creative. He seems to improvise now that his trained attacks have proven ineffective. I'm not sure whether that is a good idea, but since this is a controlled environment it won't get him hurt either.
Why do I care whether or not he gets hurt?
No, wait, they're supposed to be my teammates, I should care.
Shaking off the unnecessary thoughts, I continue to creep forwards, doing my absolute best to be silent and stay out of Kakashi's sight.
Then the perfect opportunity presents itself.
Kakashi has just evaded one of Kenchiki's attacks by lazily dancing out of his reach and Utamara is advancing from his left with his own attack. If I'm right, Kenchiki will flick his kunai at Kakashi from where he overstretched.
Immediately I draw a fistful of shuriken with my free hand and hurl them to Kakashi's at the same time as Kenchiki lets his kunai fly. The weapons limit his possibilities of dodging, so Kakashi needs to move left towards Utamara's strike. After I let go of the shuriken, I charge at where I suspect Kakashi might move to, flanking him and turning Utamara's solo attack into a pincer manoeuvre.
And to my utter surprise it seems to work. Kakashi evades Kenchiki's kunai by moving left, directly between me and Utamara. He throws a glance over his shoulder at me just before my kunai touches the back of his vest.
In the next moment he is gone. I can barely follow his movement when he backflips over my head, before I realize that my momentum will carry me right into Utamara's strike.
And it will carry him straight into my kunai.
Fear races through me and I wrench my arm to the side with all my speed and power, wanting to get rid of the sharp weapon before colliding with my teammate. Chakra sings through my muscles and the kunai veers off into the field just the fraction of a moment before Utamara bodychecks me.
Barely, I manage to keep my balance with liberal use of chakra to enhance the muscles in my leg. But I needn't have tried to prevent us falling into a tangle of limbs because a kick to me back a second later sends both of us flying across the clearing.
We hit the ground and roll a few metres before we are able to separate and get up again.
I brush off my clothes with a wince, not appreciating the way Utamara's foot had dug into my stomach in our tumble.
"You're so clumsy!" comes a seething voice to my right. I look up to a scowling black-haired boy doing his level best to glare me to death. For a moment, I forget that this is supposed to be a team exercise and round on him.
"What?! How am I clumsy?! You're the one that -"
I'm distracted by Kenchiki rolling to a stop some few steps away. Right. Now's not the time. Maybe I should communicate with them and make a plan together...
"Nevermind", I backpedal, "You're right. My fault. Clumsy. Sorry about that."
My apology is insincere and from the way that Utamara's glare doesn't let up, he doesn't buy it. Whatever. Not my problem.
"Maybe we should, y'know, coordinate our attacks? Work together as a, y'know, team? Eichi-sensei said that a team of Genin should be able to hold off a Jounin, remember?"
I trail off uncertainly, noting the way that Utamara's expression moved from anger to disdain.
"Not that you would be able to help, then. Nobody knows how you even passed the test."
"Yeah", pants Kenchiki, happy about the distraction from being utterly humiliated by our Sensei, "How ... How could the ... ah, the mumbling, stumbling retard ... help us against a Jounin?"
I scowl at him, annoyed. He's the one with apparently no stamina at all and he's calling me useless? What a fucking hypocrite!
"Hey, you know what? I just had an idea", says Utamara with a tone that instantly makes me wary. I've come to associate it with especially mean pranks being pulled on me in the past. The boys exchange a look and when an understanding glint enters Kenchiki's eyes, I take a step back, tension running through my body. I really don't want to know what they are thinking.
"Yeah", pronounces Kenchiki slowly, "There are only two bells", he continues and swiftly validates to my apprehension, "Only two places on the team", his gaze shifts to me and he draws a kunai, Utamara copies him with a smirk.
"Come on, guys", I try to placate them, taking another step back and raising my open palms, "We should focus on the task here, right?"
"The task is for weeding out the weak. We can do that right now and save some time." Both boys have taken on the Academy basic stance, they share another look.
"Even if you take me out now, you still have to get the bells", I reason, sliding my feet into a more balanced position and starting to pool chakra in the coils of my thighs, ready to provide a burst of speed, "Three to one is a better chance at success than two to one, right?"
Kenchiki looks back to me and palms another kunai, flipping it into a reverse hold, "Not if you are sabotaging our efforts."
"Yeah", Utamara drawls, his entire posture oozing arrogance and superiority, "What could the mumbling, stumbling-"
He is cut off when I draw and throw a kunai at his feet, forced to take a step back to avoid being pinned to the ground.
"Stop calling me that", I growl. I hate that title. I don't want Kakashi to hear them call me that. I'm not just some idiot.
There is another second of stillness, before the boys lunge at me. I throw myself backwards with blurring speed, evading the kunai Kenchiki hurls at me as I get some distance from them.
But, unfortunately, running backwards in a rush is not the best idea. My heel catches against a stone protruding from the ground and I fall on my ass.
Just like that, my lead is gone and I only have time to palm another kunai before they are onto me.
Or, at least, they would have been onto me.
In the last second before the boys can close in on my position, a cloud of dust erupts between me and them, the impact of something hitting the ground blowing loose sand into our faces. A heartbeat later, wind rips the dust apart and reveals Kakashi, staring at us with a thunderous expression.
"That's enough." His voice is cold as ice as he looks at each of us in turn. "All of you fail."
My stomach drops.
I ... I failed?
It's exactly what I expected would happen, but I still can't quite believe it. My chance of being in a team is so easily crushed? My chance to have Kakashi, to have isi be my Sensei, destroyed in less than an hour. Less than an hour! Why-?
Hard, stone-grey eyes land on me as I look up at him. "You're going back to the Academy."
And just like that, Kakashi vanishes in a shunshin.
My chest clenches painfully and my eyes burn as I get up from the ground, but I hold back the traitorous tears.
"Whaaaat?" Kenchiki's confused exclamation makes me round on him and the other boy.
"You assholes!", I yell at them, overcome by a sudden anger and unable to keep it in, "Couldn't you just have cooperated?! No! You just had to be stupid!"
"He-"
Kenchiki's protest is cut off when I hurl the kunai in my hand at him hilt first. He attempts to dodge, but the ring still clips him in the shoulder. Before he can retaliate or even open his mouth for whatever stupid response he might have, I flee, jumping into the trees surrounding the clearing.
I tune out what both of my former classmates are calling after me, only vaguely aware that they sound angry as well as I climb higher and higher into the treetops. Soon enough the branches get too thin to support my jumps and when I look down, I realize that I'm at least fifteen metres from the ground.
It's enough for the boy's voices to be faint background noise, easily ignored. It's enough that they won't find me if they come looking for a fight. It's enough space to hide myself away as the anger fades and disappointment crashes down on me with the weight of a freight train.
I climb over onto an adjacent tree with thicker foliage and settle in the crook of a branch, not acknowledging the tremble in my hand, nor the hitch in my breath, nor the stinging in my eyes. Shaking arms embrace a tree trunk, forehead pressed into the rough bark, eyes closed to the world. I try to think about possibilities, this is not the end of the world, attempt to make plans for the future, life goes on, want to ignore how my chest tightens further and further, you lived through death, how bad can this realistically be, until I choke on the throbbing knot in my throat.
I cry. Tears and snot covering my face disgustingly, pathetically, but I can't get myself to stop. I cry until I am so exhausted that I almost slip off the branch.
At the last moment, I manage to regain my balance on the branch, my heart racing as my chest heaves tired breaths as I stare into the foliage beneath me. Would they stop my fall if I slip?
Do I even care?
It's a good question, but unnecessary. I don't plan on falling to my death, so I need to get off this tree before I fall asleep. Gingerly, I pick my way down the branches of the giant flora. More than once my grip wavers and my watery eyes betray me, but I am always fast and strong enough to catch and correct my mistakes before I slip.
The descent takes forever, draining the last energy I might have had after exhausting myself with an entirely unnecessary crying fit. I can't hear anybody around and conclude that Kenchiki and Utamara must have left some time ago.
Good, I think as I stumble back to the training grounds, I don't want to see anybody anyway.
But when I clear the tree line and give a half-hearted sweep of the clearing through half-lidded eyes, I see my error. Lack of noise does not mean lack of people as evidenced by the towering figure of Kakashi I can spy through some trees somewhere behind the training posts. Probably at the memorial.
For a very long moment, I debate whether or not I should just leave. I feel too leached for any interaction that promises to be as tense and difficult as this. But then again, my ability to care has hit an all time low together with my energy levels, so I might as well get it over with while I'm too lethargic to feel awkward.
So I drag myself over there, past the training posts and the spattering of trees and underbrush that just barely separates the two clearings. Valiantly, I resist flopping down on the ground. While I'm dead-beat tired, it would be inappropriate for this conversation. It feels serious, not a place for my lacklustre attitudes.
"Hello, isi", I mumble the familiar greeting.
"Hello, Hikari-chan", he answers the way he most often does. It's nice, tradition. A minute passes in silence, followed by another, followed by-
"It's teamwork, right? The purpose of test?" When I look up at Kakashi, he gives a nod, his gaze trailing down to meet my own. "Well, of course we didn't work very well together, but-"
"You were actively attacking each other", Kakashi interrupts me, his brow furrowing in clear disapproval, "Any Jounin would have failed you."
I don't dare to scowl at Kakashi directly, so I avert my eyes to his shoulder before pulling a face. "I'm sure they wouldn't have-"
Again, Kakashi interrupts me. "Konoha values teamwork and camaraderie, another year at the Academy will give you more time to mature." Since you are clearly too childish to be a shinobi doesn't have to be said but the sentiment echoes clearly in his words.
"It's not my fault that they are prejudiced bastards!", I yell at him, a surge of just fury overriding my sleepiness.
"But you threw the first kunai."
Dammit!, I rage internally even as my rage deflates again, he has a point.
"I'm not going back to the Academy", I inform Kakashi defiantly and he takes some time to think about that.
"It's your best option", he reasons at length, "You might have better luck with a different team." There is a pause. "A different Sensei."
I squint up at the man, my father in this life, no matter how much he doesn't know it. Or doesn't he? His summons wouldn't keep that information from him, would they? But more importantly ... is that self-doubt?
"I don't want a different team or a different Sensei", Kakashi rolls his eye before averting his gaze back to the memorial, "And I can't afford to dally around the Academy for another year."
"You've moved out of your mother's apartment."
... Uh, what? How does he know that? Does he know-
"You should update the information in your file."
What's with the nonsequiters? He probably has the address of that woman from my file, but did he go snooping around there? Why would he do that?
What did he find out?
With a scrutinizing glance, I try to make out Kakashi's expression but he is as stoic as ever, not showing any sign of his feelings. Bollocks!
"I guess", I admit slowly, "But I really need to start on missions, so I can't go back to the Academy." Not to mention that I don't want to go back. It's not like coming back having failed the test will magically improve my reputation with my classmates. Wasting another year in school will do me absolutely no good.
Kakashi remains silent, staring ahead at the monument to the heroes of the Leaf. I rest my eyes on the sleek black stone as well, tracing the multitude of names.
After a while, I look up at him again. Just now a thought has sprung up in my mind, but actually voicing it... My mouth feels dry, with a tongue made of cotton.
"Ano, isi ... Could you- I mean, if you don't want the- the whole team, maybe you could..." My hands are coated with sweat when I clench them nervously. "Maybe I could be your- your apprentice?"
Heavy silence lingers between us. I shift my weight uncertainly, staring up at the side of Kakashi's face while he continues to gaze at the memorial stone, giving no indication whether or not he has even heard me. Of course he has, he's a Jounin, he's too observant not to have heard.
Again, I shuffle on my feet, the silence getting to me until finally I can't take it anymore. "I mean, it's just," I stammer quietly, before Kakashi cuts through my mumbling.
"No."
My stomach drops to my knees that seem to grow weak at the same time. No? Why no? Does he hate me? Is he so disappointed at my showing? Am I not good enough to be his apprentice?
"That's not a good idea." His voice is flat, void of any feeling.
"Wh-Why not?"
"You need to learn how to work with others as a team."
But, I don't, I don't-
"It's best you go back to the Academy and try again next year."
"But I'm not going back to the Academy!", I cry desperately, "If- If I can't be an apprentice, then I'm going to the Genin Corps!"
At least that gets a reaction. Kakashi turns a heavy, disapproving gaze on me and I shrink back from him. The Genin Corps is a dead-end for your career. Most of it's members never rise to the rank of Chuunin and are forever stuck doing menial missions. There is a chance for Genin Corps shinobi to take part in the Chuunin Exams if they find a Jounin willing to sponsor a team, but it's rare for the elite to take an interest in those scraping the bottom of the barrel.
But if I can start to work, I will be able to prove my worth. Maybe it'll be enough to finally be accepted by my peers. It's the only other option I see. I could go back to the Academy, continue squatting at the Uchiha compound just waiting to be caught, but I doubt that will do me any good. There is nothing in the curriculum that I don't know already and I seriously doubt that just because I get placed in a different class I'll suddenly stop being the misfit. It hasn't worked before, why should it work now?
"Do what you will." In spite of his statement Kakashi makes it abundantly clear that he doesn't approve of my choice. With a slight shake of his head, he turns around and makes to leave.
"Wait, isi", I scramble to hold him back. Kakashi stops and throws a flat look at me over his shoulder. My heart beats a fast staccato against my ribcage, but I press on before he can disappear into thin air again. "Can you at least teach me something?" I banish the trembling from my voice with vicious determination. "Something that'll help me catch someone's interest?"
I swallow dryly, fidgeting with the hem of my oversized shirt. Any second now, Kakashi will scoff and shunshin away. It's stupid to ask, it's stupid, of course he wont want to teach me anything, kami, why did I think this was a good idea?
But he doesn't leave. He sighs and turns around to look at me. "Like what?"
My eyes grow wide. Really? He'll do it? What should I ask for? Shadow clones would be helpful, but that's a kinjutsu, he'd ask where I even know that from. No, not shadow clones. Elemental jutsu? Something large and flashy? But I don't even know my chakra nature and elemental training takes more than just a one-time show and tell.
My internal scrambling halts when I come to the best possible request. Summoning. That's a B-rank jutsu. Not flashy per se, but there is no such thing as useless summons. It's also not some secret hidden technique that I have no business knowing. And Kakashi sent a summon animal to meet us yesterday, so he's already shown that he can do it.
"Can you teach me the Kuchiyose no Jutsu?"
He regards me with a raised eyebrow. "Summoning takes a lot of chakra."
"I have larger than average reserves, they just aren't full right now."
Kakashi's eyebrow rises higher. "You can't summon with out a contract."
"I'm sure I can scrounge one up."
At that his eye narrows. "You're not going to steal one from the Uchiha compound, are you?", he asks sharply.
"What?" I take a step back at his cutting tone. "Why do you even ..." Trailing off at the pointed look he gives my shirt, I take another step back while raising my open palms. "I wouldn't steal something like that from Sasuke", I assure, "That's his family's legacy, I'm not gonna take that from him." Never mind that I totally would if I thought I could get away with it. But there is no way in hell that nobody would question how I came into the possession of a contract that was previously held by the Uchiha, so obviously I won't do that.
At Kakashi's unconvinced expression, I shake my head. "I'm not stupid enough to do that, people would recognise the summons."
He snorts, but relents. "Fine, I'll show you the jutsu, but it won't be any good without signing a contract first."
He crouches in front of me and shows me his hands as he slowly runs through the hand seals -Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Ram- before he bites his thumb, races through the seals and slams his bloodied hand on the ground.
"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"
I have just a moment to study the large seal spreading from the point of impact, before a cloud of chakra bursts from the ground and obscures the vision. A moment later, the excess chakra dissipates and reveals a small brown dog with a very squished face wearing a blue vest an a Konoha hitai-ate. I blink at the dog, kinda looks like a pug but healthier, before looking at the ground it sits on. The seal has vanished without a trace. I hope exactly knowing what it looks like isn't important...
My attention is pulled back to the pug when it lifts its paw and says "Yo". I wave at him, this has to be Pakkun, and greet him with a simple "Hello". The dog stands up and approaches me, sniffing at my knees. I crouch down and offer him my hand to sniff at, just like I always did in the Before when introduced to a dog. Pakkun sniffs my hand as well, before tilting his head slightly and looking up at me.
"Touch my paw", he says with his improbably deep voice, placing his right paw into my offered hand, "It's very soft."
I gin at the random request, but comply anyway, lightly squeezing his indeed very supple paw. How absurd, I thought that Kakashi's dogs would be as serious as he is.
"You have very nice paws", I compliment, at a loss as to what to do now.
Pakkun smiles a doggy smile before turning to Kakashi and announcing "I like your pup, she'll be a good addition to the pack."
I freeze, looking up at the man with wide eyes. This is it. Cat's out of the bag now. How will he react?
But Kakashi doesn't seem as shocked as I would have thought. Did he know already? No, he couldn't have. He would have said something. But then-
"She's not my pup." He sounds annoyed, locking eyes with his ninken that seems to bristle.
"Of course she is, she sme-" With a poof of smoke the dog vanishes before he can finish his sentence.
"Ignore him", Kakashi says shortly, before turning around and jumping away leaving me behind with a racing heart.
It takes a very long time for me to calm down and when I finally do exhaustion hits me like a sledgehammer. I flop down into the grass and sprawl in the sunshine, looking up into the blue sky and feeling lost. Having Kakashi deny his relation to me smarts, but it's probably for the best. That way he won't have a bad conscience about failing me or whatever.
I close my eyes and let myself drift to sleep. This day was a total fuck-up. Nothing went right. Now I have no team, no teacher and no perspectives. Heavens, I hope that tomorrow won't be as bad as today.
But at least now I know how to summon and I have one little piece of information that Kakashi didn't have: If you try to summon without having signed a contract, you get reverse summoned to the animal clan that suits your personality best.
At least that's something I can look forward to.
I wonder what animal would be my best fit?