DISCLAIMER: Not Mine ...
NOTES: Sorry for the Wait ! More soon!
SIGHT
"Arthur tells us .... you were never married?" Galahad asked once Morgianna was seated on the bench close to the fire. Her dark eyes fixed on his face, glittering with surprise and mirth at the young knight´s directness.
"No .....I was never married." She answered.
"But you could have been? Despite your ...station?"
Morgianna inclined her head slightly.
"I am a priestess." She laughed, folding her hands in her lap.
"The office of the lady is sacrosanct, but the woman who holds it is no less woman. Why would anyone deny her what should be hers by right; a companion ....children even. My aunt had consorts while she held the office."
"And yet, you are not married." Gawain interceded.
"Would you marry where you do not love?" Morgianna returned gently, looking at him with serious eyes. But her expression softened immediately into a mild smile.
"I was very young when I took office and it was a trying time. I was trained to fully comprehend the duty of my station, the duty to my people and this land. Some things were just not written in the stars for me. I do not live by my heart´s wishes...I never could."
"Only resignation, doing without .....and acceptance? Always putting obligation and duty above everything else?" Galahad sounded almost indignant of that prospect.
"It was all I was brought up to expect...." Morgianna smiled serenelybut with a trace of regret, nodding her head.
"And I thought the Christian priests had it bad...." The young man laughed, shaking his head.
Gawain grinned at him, taking another sip from his wine.
"I did not renounce everything .....I was the lady of the lake, not a nun." she said with an amused smile that made Gawain laugh and Galahad look at her in surprised awe.
Tristan appeared from out of nowhere, holding out a goblet of mulled, honeyed wine for Morgianna. She took it, nodding her thanks to him before the scout vanished into the night again.
Gawain watched him go, then turned back to Morgianna to look at her with narrowed eyes.
"What is it with you and him? .....He´s our friend, but there are things we do not know about him. With you .....there seems to be some connection we do not understand."
Morgianna took a sip of the wine, contemplating the question while laying her hands around the goblet.
"There is a part of us...." She said, her voice becoming very even and melodious like a bard beginning a story. "A part of ourselves, in every one of us, that we keep trapped inside, like some wild beast trapped in our thoughts and dreams. We deny ourselves this part in daylight hours because its power and its wildness scare us." She raised her eyes to meet Gawain´s blue eyes. "Tristan does not fear it or hide it. He has accepted it and now ...he commands it."
"You see that when you look at him......"
"Yes.....and he knows it. He perceives my gift ......as kin to his."
"So ....the stories are true, you are a seer then?"
Morgianna laid her hands around the goblet, looking around into the eager, interested faces of Arthur´s oldest and most valued friends.
"The sight comes to me....yes. Sometimes unbidden, sometimes in dreams, sometimes at my call ....." she gave a little laugh at Galahad´s aghast expression. "But I hardly see everything, some things are meant to be while others are decided by the choices we make and the paths taken in our past."
She could see it in their eyes, read it in the posture of their bodies .....the slight blush the already consumed wine had brought to their faces; they were fascinated and yet torn between doubt and the wish to know. Just like her brother they were reluctant to ask ....
She had been brought up to believe that her gift, her talent was a tool.....a tool that should never be used idly or without good, serious judgement. It was hardly a trick to amuse the guests at her brother´s wedding feast, be they his friends or not .....but in the light of surrendering her office to another soon, Morgianna felt compelled to set aside her training and principles. They had not asked her to speak truth for them and so she would not, but give nothing more than a glimpse.
She put the goblet down at her feet, tilting her head to the side to look at Galahad, who sat closest to her, in good humour.
"You have a kind, courageous heart.....and your name will be known beyond the borders of this land, for you will never be afraid to stand up for those who cannot fight for themselves."
She whispered to him kindly before her eyes set on Gawain, for a moment sadness glimmered there but then Morgianna smiled.
"You will charm many a lady before you will find the one that can not just hold your heart, but keep it." Bors threw his head back and laughed, patting Gawain´s back with more strength than necessary.
"No beautiful Sarmatian woman for you, then!"
Morgianna arched her brow looking at Bors with a bemused smile.
"You will get married very soon and have more children....but I hardly need my gift to see that far."
Now it was Gawain´s turn to laugh at his friend and after a moment of perplexity, Bors chimed in. Galahad looked at Morgianna, not quite sure what to think, but even he could not quite suppress a smile.
"What about Tristan?" Lancelot asked quietly, a small challenge lacing his words. Morgianna looked up to where the dark scout had reappeared at the other side of the fire. They looked at each other across the flames, and even though Morgianna had had nothing to do with bringing him back to life, she could not help but feel a wave of guilt sweeping over her like ice water, drowning out the warmth and happiness she had felt only moments ago.
She could her face settling back into the calm, unreadable mask her features had become due to her aunt´s training and the burden of her office.
Tristan returned her gaze from behind the dark strands of hair the fell into his face with the same impenetrable calm, an unfathomable expression on his face.
"The greatest love ....", Morgianna whispered with a tremor in her voice, her throat tight.
The greatest love .....the greatest loss .....
She closed her eyes, barring the way for the tears that had started to fill her eyes. She rose from her seat swiftly, inclining her head towards the knights.
"Forgive me ...." She said, moving past them, past the fire to walk away as swiftly as she could without making it seem as though she was fleeing.
Tristan´s dark gaze met Lancelot´s guarded expression across the fire, as the other´s turned their heads towards their friend in confusion.
"What did you do?" Gawain asked him, unable to shake the distinct feeling that something momentous had just happened around him without him being able to discern its significance or its consequences.
Lancelot gave him a non- committal shrug, but his eyes followed Arthur´s sister until she was out of sight.
"Why don´t I find out?" he finally said, setting out to follow Morgianna into the night.
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"What will you have of me?" her voice had taken on a harder, almost bitter tone. As though each word left a foul taste in her mouth. She had walked away from the feast, as far away from the laughter and music as she could without loosing sight of the fires. Hidden in the shadows of the tallest oak tree, leaning against its rough rind, she was almost invisible. Only the slightest bit of moonlight fell through the leaves, revealing nothing but one side of her face. Her black hair, her dark cloak were swallowed whole by the velvet darkness.
"Do you not see everything?" Lancelot answered and his words still held the same challenge. It made Morgianna angry and tired. She had not wanted this, she had wanted to feel light-hearted and free of cares or duties .....for the first time in a long while.
She met his eyes with an impatient glare. Lancelot did not flinch or avert his eyes, but stepped closer almost against his will.
"Why is it, that when you look at us ...at me sometimes, there is so much anguish in your eyes?"
"What do you want me answer?"
"The truth...."
Morgianna gave a bitter, humourless laugh, fit to hurt his ears and shook her head.
"The truth is not always a helping hand in every matter, Lancelot."
"Of that I am aware...."
"Are you?" Morgianna looked at him again, observing his carefully vague expression.
"You do not know what you ask! And what truths would you have from my lips, Lancelot?" Morgianna demanded to know harshly, with more woe than a voice should be possible to hold.
" That the when I saw you close to death on that battlefield I thought my heart would stop and I would never be able to draw another breath? That even though we had never met, your face haunted my dreams every since the sight came to me? That I prayed to the gods our paths would never cross because the thought of it had me scared to death? That I will survive my brother, but your death will be the one thing that will destroy me as surely as a killing blow?"
Morgianna looked at her feet, breathing heavily as she tried to compose herself. It was too late and well she knew it ....there was no stopping now. Once she had begun words filled her mouth like a never ending stream, forcing their way out through her lips.
Truth would have its will donewhether she was willing or not. She could almost taste the bitterness of her tone like bile on her tongue.
"Are these really the things you need to know? That I can see the envy in your eyes?You envy him that he is in her heart and you envy her that she can be as close to him as you will never be and these feelings cut you deeper than any knife. I can see it in your eyes, how much you loathe yourself for feelings such as these....that in themselves you already see them as betrayal. Are these the truths you really need to hear?"