A/N – See, I told you I'd make up for it!
"This guy, Robo-Warrior, everything about anything alien. He's supposed to know" Leo explained. "One time we revenge-hacked his site and maybe I saw some of your alien drawings of whatever"
We pulled up to the curb of a dirty, old, butcher shop from the look of it. Sam got out and handed me out after him. We all walked in, Sam wearing a ball-cap and sweatshirt as his disguise.
"This is it. Yep. Deli, good front! All right, wait here. I'll give you the go/no go. All right?" he says 'all right' a lot, I've noticed.
Sam and I got bored and walked in. "It's him! It's him! That's the guy right there! That's him" Leo shouting, pointing to… Are you kidding me?
"Hello Simmons" I said.
"No" Simmons didn't want to believe it, Sam and I didn't want to believe it. But it was true. "You got to be kidding me" Sam quoted my thoughts.
"All right, meat store's closed" Simmons yelled. He dinged a bell, "Everybody out! Out, right now!"
"Wait a minute. You know this guy?" Leo asked. I shrugged. "He 'arrested' us, we exchanged threats, and saved the world together" I summed up. Leo looked like he was gonna faint.
"Some good that did me. You're the case that shut down Sector Seven, got the kibosh, disbanded. No more security clearance, no retirement, no nothing" Simmons complained. "Well, you did torture a peaceful, sentient being, and kept the leader of the race that wanted to destroy the world right next to the exact object that would allow him to do so" I interjected.
"Moron! Where's the whitefish?" a woman complained at the other side of the deli. "Hey! Don't touch me with the pig" a guy with really messed up teeth complained.
"Yakov!" Simmons bellowed.
"What?"
"You don't get Christmas bonuses standing around! You want those new teeth you saw on SkyMall?"
"It's my dream" the guy nodded.
"Help her out!"
Simmons turned back to us. "You're mom lives with you?" I asked him. I wanted to say 'You live with your mama?' but since we need his help, I figured being a bitch wouldn't help.
Simmons nodded. "They got your face all over the news, alien boy" Simmons snapped. "And NBE1's still kicking, huh?"
"The human government is stupid and allowed the Decepticons to steal the seemingly last remaining piece of the Alspark to bring him back to live, and it all went to Hell from there" I told him before he could ask.
"I don't want anything to do with you two" Simmons said. "Good-bye, you never saw me. I got bagels to schmear. Vanish!" we waved us off walked away. Sam followed. "Can you give me five seconds?" what is it with him and five seconds? "Look, hold on, I need your help!" I got sick and tired of us dancing around that matter.
"Really? You need my help?" Simmons looked pleased.
"I need…Look, I am slowly losing my mind. Okay, I had a little crab-bot, plunge a device deep into the soft tissues of my brain and started projecting little alien symbols like a freaking home movie! And on top of that, I'm a wanted fugitive. So, you think you got it rough?" Sam ranted.
"Simmons" he turned to look at me. "The entire planet, maybe even the universe, is at stake. Don't you wanna be a hero again?"
Simmons looked like he was debating before he said, "You said it projected images off your brain?"
"Right" Sam nodded.
"Meat locker, now!" We followed Simmons into the meat locker, where he showed us a trap door. "Dead pigs" Leo said. I rolled my eyes at him. "What you are about to see is top secret. Do not tell my mother" I giggled at that, and I saw the corners of Simmons mouth lift.
We climbed through the door, down a ladder, into a room that was lined with boxes and files.
"Okay, files, files. We're talking about symbols" Simmons muttered, looking around. Leo was about to touch something when Simmons slapped his hand away. "Hey, still radioactive. Hand's off"
Simmons looked at Sam. "Okay, Cube-brain" he opened a file, "Any of these look like the symbols you saw?" Sam took the file and looked at the pictures. "Where'd you get these?" Sam asked him.
Simmons opened a file-cabinet drawer. "Before I got fired, I poached S-7's crown jewel" he started climbing. "Over 75 years of alien research, which points to one inescapable fact? The Transformers, they've been here a long, long time. How do I know?" he tossed Leo a box. "Archeologists found these unexplained markings in ancient ruins all over the world.
"China. Egypt. Greece" she showed us the pictured before showing an old-fashioned projector-film. "Shot in 1932. These the symbols you're seeing in your head?"
"Yeah" Sam muttered.
"Same ones over here, right? So, tell me, how did they end up all drawing the same things? Aliens. And I think some of them stayed" she showed us some more pictured.
"Check this out. Project Black Knife" he started flashing pictures. "Robots in disguise, hiding here all along. We detected radioactive signatures all across the country. I pleaded on my knees with S-7 to investigate it, but they said the reading were infinitesimal, that I was obsessed!" he slammed him fist onto the table. "Me. Can you imagine that?"
I could, but I didn't say anything.
"Megatron said that there was another Energon source here" Sam told Simmons.
"On Earth?"
"On Earth"
"Another source?"
Sam nodded. "Okay? And that these symbols, maps in my head, would lead him there"
"You talk to your Autobot friends about this" Simmons asked Sam. I nodded. "We tried, but they can't read the symbols. The source is before them" I explained to him. Sam nodded. "Whatever the Energon source is, it predates them. It's before them"
"So it comes before them" Simmons unnecessarily clarified.
"Correct"
"Well, then we're porked, unless we can talk to a Decepticon. Lindsey, do you still have that little bot from the Dam?" he asked me. I nodded, "but he wouldn't know anything. Not being raised Cybertronian and all"
"Well, we need to find a Decepticon. I mean, I'm not on speaking term with them, besides Shooter" I sat up straighter as Simmons comment. "But I am"
I went back outside and grabbed the lead container out of Bee. "Bee, do you mind keeping an optic on Shooter?" I asked as I grabbed the box. "No problem…little lady" I smiled and headed back to the boys.
"Let me out!" Wheelie whined when I set the container onto the table. I opened the box and wrapped a chain around Wheelie's neck to keep him some-what controlled as he shrieked. "I will have so many Decepticons on your butt!" Wheelie threatened.
"Wheelie" he looked at me, finally quiet. "Behave" he stopped yelling, although he pulled at the chains.
"That's a Decepticon?" Sam asked. "Yeah"
"And you're training him?" Sam asked again, in wonder.
"Trying to"
Simmons looked at Wheelie in wonder. "I spent my who adult life combing the planet for aliens, and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua"
I giggled at that.
Wheelie glared at Simmons. "So you wanna throw-down you pubic 'fro-head?"
"Wheelie" I cooed in a baby-voice. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about locking you up in that small box. But if you're good, then I won't lock you up again, okay? And I won't let Shooter attack you again"
"Shooter attacked him" Sam said fondly, and amused. I shot him a glance before turning back to Wheelie. "Just tell me what these symbols are, please" Wheelie kneeled down and looked at the pictured scattered across the table. "All right. I know that. That's the language of the Primes. I don't read it, but these guys…Where the frick did you find photos of these guys" Wheelie wondered.
"Is this they?" Sam asked, holding up a couple pictures. "Yeah. Seekers, pal. Oldest of the old. Oh, they've been here thousands of years, looking for something. I don't know what. Nobody tells me notin', but they'll translate those symbols for ya. And I know where to find them"
"Show us" Simmons demanded. "Please, Wheelie" I added nicely.
Wheelie turned to the map Simmons had pinned to the wall and, using his optics line laser pointers, pointed out several different locations.
"The closest one's in Washington" Simmons said.
We all climbed out of Bumblebee, parked across the Smithsonian. I had never been here before. Like I had promised, Wheelie hadn't been shoved back into the box, but was allowed to sit in between Leo and I.
"Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. Land of dreams in there" Simmons mused. "All I ever wanted to be was an astronaut"
Suddenly, Simmons pulled off his pants – I mean, literally ripped them off – to reveal a S-7 thong that reminded me of his S-7 superman undershirt. "Hold those" he handed his pants to Sam. "What is that?" Sam asked in exasperation.
"What? I wear them when I'm in a funk. So does Giambi, Jeter. It's a baseball thing, okay?" Simmons, thankfully, pulled on a long trench coat. "Watches synchronized, sharp mind and empty bladder. You get caught, demand an attorney and don't ever say my name. Okay, take on of these pills" he tossed Sam a bottle, "slip it under your tongue.
"It's the high-concentrate polymer they put in Oreo cookies" Simmons said, anticipating my question. "Tricks the polygraph every time. Okay. Now let's get this show on the road" wow. Simmons can sure talk when he's excited.
Simmons pulled out a Taser. "Whoa, no! No, listen, I can't do this. I'm not some alien bounty hunter, guys. I'm not gonna do this. Guards have gonna, I don't want to die" Leo whined.
"Dude, not even 24 hours after meeting my first alien and I was towing a legless alien so he could shoot people. Stop whining" I snapped.
"Kid, kid, kid" Simmons bumped chests with Leo. "You compromise this mission, you are dead to me" I scrunched up my nose; it looked like Simmons was going to kiss Leo. Eww!
"Now, look into my eyes and tighten up that sphincter"
I didn't even want to think about Leo walking around with his pant and underwear down. At closing time, Sam and I hopped out of the plane we were hiding in, Shooter in my pocket. We ran over to where Simmons was dragging – what? – Leo and I let Wheelie onto the ground.
"We just downed five guards, five guards. Now get your stuff and get out of here" Simmons rushed, kneeling beside Sam. "Give me a second here"
"I got to get the tracker, all right"
Ignoring Sam and Simmons, I turned to Wheelie. "Behave" I reminded him.
We wondered around, trying to find the Seeker. Wheelie was in his RC car form. I noticed Wheelie speeding off. I grabbed onto Sam. "Sam, look. Follow him, he knows where he's going"
We chased after Wheelie, who stopped next to an ancient looking jet. I saw Simmons on the other side. I knew Shooter wanted to be out there with Wheelie, so I set him down in his case so he could drive after Wheelie.
"You got what I got?" Simmons asked excitedly, holding up…something…to the jet. "Yeah"
"Blackbird"
Wheelie transformed in front of the nose of the jet. "There he is. This guy's a legend, like the Chairman of the Board! Yo, freshman, point the shard and watch the magic happen" Wheelie snapped at Sam, who ducked under the rails surrounding the jet.
The sliver jumped from the tweezers Sam had been using to hold it, to the jet, sending an electric jolt. Sam and I ran over to try and find the sliver, when I noticed the symbol on it.
"It's Decepticon!" I screamed, running, scooping up Shooter as I ran. It was habit by now.
"Behind the mig now!" Simmons screamed. Simmons, Leo, and I all ran away as the jet started transforming. Sam was right behind us. I don't know where Wheelie went.
The jet transformed into a giant, old-looking robot. "What sort of hideous mausoleum is this" his voice sounded kinda European. Wheelie rolled over and crashed into Leo, who simply pushed him aside. We were all hiding under some random plane.
"Answer me, pawns and knaves!" the bot called. "Show yourselves or suffer my infinite wrath" we walked, slowly, over to him. I noticed he had a walking stick. Really? "You little spinal-cord-based organisms!" he crashed into somethin hanging on the wall. "Bugger it" yup, he sounded British.
"Hey, no need to insult us" I told him, but I was dismissed. "Behold the eternal glory of Jetfire!" the bot called out. He seemed a little senile to me. "Prepare for remote systems override!"
"I tell ya, this guy did not age well" Wheelie commented. I nodded, keeping my eyes on Jetfire. "I don't think he's gonna hurt us" I said. Despite his Decepticon insignia and his demeanor, I did not believe he wished us any real harm.
"I command these doors to open" Jetfire cried. Since when did doors open on voice command? "Fire! I said fire!" his launched missile went backwards. I would have smiled if the situation was less dangerous.
"Bollocks. Damn these worthless parts!" Jetfire cursed.
He crashed for the doors and started walking away. 'Wait a second" Sam cried after him. We ran out of the hanger/museum to hear Jetfire say "Itchy, wretched rust in my arse" oh God. As funny as that sounds, if I think about, it'll make me puke.
3rd POV for a little bit
"Right. I'm on a mission" Jetfire declared.
"Wait!" they called started shouting, trying to get him to stop and listen. "What do you want?" Jetfire asked angrily. "Look, we just want to talk" Sam shouted to the giant robot. Jetfire was taller than the Smithsonian.
"I have no time to talk. I'm on a mission" Jetfire repeated stubbornly. "I'm a mercenary doom-bringer. What planted am I on?"
"Earth"
"Earth? Terrible name for a planet. Might as well call it 'dirt'. Planet 'Dirt'" Jetfire ranted.
"Well, you cannot exactly accuse our ancestors of being very smart" Lindsey remarked, smiling at his comment. Shooter was perched on her shoulder, watching the robot curiously. Jetfire froze for a moment, peering at the girl. He decided, in his quick, irrational way, that he liked her. "Right. Well then, tell me, is that robot civil war still going on?" he asked. "Oo's winnin'?"
"The Decepticons" Sam said sadly.
Jetfire made a sound of disgust and spat on the ground. "Well, I changed sided to the Autobots" he told them. "What do you mean, changed sides?" Sam asked, incredulous. Considering the nature of the war, it was kinda hard to believe. It seemed like a foreign concept.
"It's a choice. It's an intensely personal decision" Jetfire remarked, kneeled down so he was closer to the human group. "So much negativity. Who wants to live a life filled with hate?" The Decepticons, Lindsey thought in her head, but didn't say aloud. She saw Bee parked somewhere behind the group, with Mudflap and Skids. She hadn't noticed them before.
"You mean you don't have to work for those miserable, freaking Decepticon?" Wheelie asked. Though he wouldn't admit it, he liked the humans better than the Decepticons. They were at least less violet and cruel. Plus, the chick wasn't half bad. At least she never torched his eye.
"If the Decepticons had their way, they'd destroy the whole universe" Jetfire said in way of explanation.
Wheelie crawled over to the chick, who he decided would be him 'Mistress'. He hated that Megatron made them call him Lord and Master, but he wouldn't mind it with her.
"I'm changing sides, I'm changing sides too, Goddess Mistress. Who's your little Autobot?"
Lindsey's POV again
I looked down to see Wheelie holding onto my leg. I smiled. "Aww, you're so cute" I cooed. He then started humping my leg. "Yeah. Say my name, say my name" it was kinda disturbing, having him hump my legs, but it was harmless and I could see that it bugged Sam, so I did nothing to stop it.
Leo looked slightly sick and Simmons just gave him that 'woooow' look you give something you don't really know how to describe, but is disturbing. "What are you allowing to happen to your foot just now?" Sam asked.
"At least he's faithful, Sam" I said, making the double meaning and accusation behind my words clear. "Yeah, well, he's faithful and he's nude and he's perverted" Sam finally got tired of it and kicked Wheelie off of my leg. "Can you just…can you stop?"
Wheelie shook his head. "I only answer to Mistress, only Goddess Mistress" we all had looks of surprise of our faces at his words, but I could feel Shooter nodding on my shoulder. Sam and I shared a looked. What is going on?
I was going to stop here…
"What were you saying?" Sam slowly turned back to Jetfire, who was also eyeing me oddly. Well, I don't know what's going on, so don't ask me, bub.
"I told you my name was Jetfire, so stop judging me" he cried, upset. I don't remember us saying anything that translated to judgment. He had been pounding his walking stick so close to us we all had fallen onto our backs. "Somebody shit in the bed this morning" Wheelie said snidely.
"I have issues of my own" Jetfire snapped. "And it started with my mother. My ancestors have been here for centuries. My father, why, he was a wheel, the first wheel. Do you know what he transformed into? Nothing! But he did so with honor, dignity, damn it!"
Just then, Jetfire farted out his parachute. That was slightly disturbing, and had us all backing away.
Jetfire fell back, propelled by the parachute. We all got up and ran over to him. We reached him by the time he was rolling over onto his side, cursing. "My boosters are fried"
"I think we can help each other" Sam told him while he was down. "You know things I don't know. I know things you don't know, I do" he insisted. "I don't think he knows anything. Honestly, I don't" Leo said, eyeing Jetfire. I slung my elbow onto Leo's shoulder. "I thought the same about you, but I was wrong" I told him.
It took him a moment to realize I had just insulted him. "hey!" he cried, but I had already walked away.
"I could do this all day" Sam said, carving the symbols into the ground in front of Jetfire with my knife. "It comes in waves, these vivid symbols. They're symbols, but they're in my mind. You see, all this is in my mind, and Megatron wants what's in my mind"
"I always said we could create whole world with our brains" I muttered to Simmons. "It's pure science"
"Him and someone called the Fallen" Sam added over my voice.
"The Fallen? I know him! He left me here to rust! The Original Decepticon" Jetfire growled. "He's terrible to work for. It's always apocalypse, chaos, crisis. These transcriptions, they were part of my mission, the Fallen's search. I remember now, for the Dagger's Tip and the key" we were finally getting somewhere!
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. The dagger's Tip? The key? What are you talking about?" Sam asked him. I felt oddly quiet today. It was kinda weird.
"No time to explain. Hold on, everybody! Stay still or you'll die!"
Wait, what?