CDCB: This chapter is awesome. Read it.

Malon: Why should they?

CDCB: It has awesome Thesaurous words

Malon: And...

CDCB: You love link?

Malon: Whatevs. CDCB doesn't own any Zelda characters etc that you may read in this novel etc etc etc etc well, you get the picture!

note: This will not make much sense unless you read THE MALON CHAPTERS BEFORE

Malon Thinks Link is Retarded

Link who had just escaped Ingo's evil ranch followed the smell Lon Lon Milk using the mask of scents. He mugged it off of the Happy Mask guy. He ran around Hyrule field for

a day,

and a night,

a day,

and a night,

a day,

and a night,

a day,

and a night

a day,

and a midafternoon when Link randomly fell into a hole. It had to be Epona's evil fortress. Why else would one of those holes have so many hay stacks? Epona's evil fortress was wet and full of many grasses inhabited by bugs. There was an open treasure chest. Link had been there before, probably as a child, 7 short years ago. Up on the ceiling was a large metal cage. Inside was Malon.

Malon: Link! Is that you?

Link: Malon! What the hell are you doing up there?!?

Malon: Epona put me here!

Link: Life in Hyrule is just waaay to hard with everyone liking me.

Malon: Shut- up. Yeah I like you, but that was the worst beginning of a date I had ever had.

Link: Not you, Epona.

Malon: You think my horse likes you?!?

Epona: Liiiiiiiink iiiiiiis hhhhhhhot

Link: Did you hear that?!?

Malon: Did I hear what?

Link: Epona totally came on to me.

Malon: WTF?????? Link do you run into the stable wall again?

Link had run into stable walls so many times it wasn't even funny...

Link: That's not important. Let's get you down.

Malon crossed her arms.

Malon: I am not letting a crazy person let me down.

Epona started humping Link.

Link: Now do you believe me?

Malon: How dare you rape my hoarse.

Malon swiftly opened the door of her cage without any effort and jumped down off the highly raised cage.

Malon: C'mon Epona, let's go home.

Link: Why do I even bother?

Malon didn't hear him. It was too late.

later:

malmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmal

Malon sat on her bed in absolute self-pity. How could she have fallen for as guy who was stupid enough to think that her horse was in love with him. The day played over and over in her head.

"Dammit," she thought, "I am in love with him."

She probably overreacted and now, her lovelife was screwed. There would be no knight in shining armour for her. Her chance was gone. Gone like the wind. Good-bye. Gone. Not going to come back. Kapeesh. Escaped. Left. Vanished. Disapeared. No more. Gone. G-O-N-E, gone.

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Meanwhile still in Epona's evil fortress Link thought to himself about why Malon was so pissed off. Epona was totallly coming on to him. Link decided that he had two options.

Option 1: Suicide- He thought it might be fun to jump off the Kakoriko/Hyrule Field bridge. But he would die.

Option 2: Apologize: But he didn't do anything wrong.

Link picked the most obvious choice, suicide.

malmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmal

Malon was tired of crying.

Malon: I think I will take a walk with Epona.

Talon: Have fun...

linklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklinklink

Link counted to 3 in his head. He was standing on top of the bridge. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a large horse and a face he knew too well.

Link took a step off the bridge and fell into the water.

He could hear someone screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" as he dropped in. The water was cold and fierce. "Yes," he thought,"I'm dead." All of a sudden he realized something.

Link: Dam, I'm alive aren't I.

Link turned his head to see Malon, gasping with horror.

malmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmal

Malon stood beside the river in pure shock Link was going to jump. This would be the end.

Malon: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She screamed with all her might, but just a second to late. The crazed horse rapist had jumped.

Malon had no idea what she was doing but she dove into the fast current. She was going to save Link or die trying. She grabbed ahold o his sholder and swam with all her might back to shore.

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Link was more than alive, he was being dragged to shore by Malon. He decided to fake his death just for fun. What would she do?

malmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmalmal

Malon dragged the young hero up onto the feild and started crying. He appeared to be dead.

Link: Malon...is that you.

Link deseved an Oscar for his preformance.

Malon: Link? Are you okay.

Malon asked with desperation in her vioce.

Link laughed. as he slowly opened his eyes.

Link: Your shirt is see-through.

Malon slapped him right across the face knowing that no matter what the is crazy child would do, she would always love him.

CDCB: too lazy for a preview.

Malon: or a complete sentence

CDCB:R&R

Malon: and CDCB had fun with a Thesaurous.