Chapter Thirteen

Pilar hesitated. "You misunderstood what I said."

"No, I heard you. You said that Theresa loves me."

"I said she thinks she loves you. Most likely she's confusing lust for love. Despite what Julian would have everyone think, Theresa's very innocent when it comes to men." Pilar sighed as she wrung her hands nervously, "Or at least she was before you came along."

"But she told you this? That she loves me?"

"I will not betray my daughter's confidence, Nicholas. I have already said too much."

Unconsciously, Fox lightly chewed his bottom lip. This was…this was unbelievable. For as uncomfortable as he felt that moment in Pilar's presence, she'd given him the most incredible of news amidst her scolding rants.

Theresa loved him.

Theresa loved him!

He exhaled loudly, the realization of his foolishness starting to set in. She had tried to tell him at the party, and he wouldn't listen. Where was she now? Was she okay? He certainly hadn't put his best foot forward, after all. It was more along the lines of open mouth, insert foot.

Pilar studied the young man before her. Just as quickly as the grin had come to his face moments ago, it was gone, replaced by a mask. His face betrayed little of what he thought, but the look in his expressive, dark eyes worried her. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"All my life, Pilar, my father told me that as a Crane, I was entitled to anything I wanted. The world was my oyster."

"Yes," Pilar replied, "I promptly remember how you carried out that philosophy, always wanting more and more extravagant things."

"Things," Fox mused as he looked around the room. "Things don't guarantee happiness, do they?"

"No, they do not. A person's worth is based on who he or she is on the inside."

"Which puts me at a deficit, right?"

"I wasn't going to say that," Pilar replied quickly.

"But you were thinking it." Fox shrugged. "It doesn't matter, though, because almost everything you said about me was true up to a point. If I wanted something, I set out to get it. Then I got it, and inevitably I didn't want it anymore."

"And you wanted my daughter."

"Yes. From the moment I saw her the first night I came home. She is so beautiful, full of life, and most importantly, off-limits. Made me want her more, and eventually I got her."

"You make me sick!"

Fox held up his hand. "Let me finish because the story really does get more interesting."

"Your perverse views are hardly of interest to me, Nicholas. Leave Theresa alone."

Fox's voice softened. "I can't because somewhere along the way, I stopped just wanting Theresa. I started to need her. When I'm not with her, I think about her. When I am with her, the world looks different. Everything is intensified. Colors seem more vivid, flavors are richer. There's this…this…electrical charge. I never knew I was missing anything in my life until I met her."

Pilar swallowed hard though the lump that formed in her throat would not go away. "Are you saying you love my daughter?"

"Love," Fox repeated numbly. "You know, I always scoffed at the notion of love, how it makes people weak. I never wanted to be in love, never thought I would know what it felt like, but I was wrong. I was so wrong." He smiled. "It's the most incredible feeling! I don't feel weak; I feel strong, like I could do anything when I'm with her. I love Resa. I love her!"

The force of Fox's words stunned Pilar. "I never thought I would see this day."

"Neither did I," he confessed.

"Hearing you speak, I can almost believe that you're sincere."

"I am sincere."

"Whether you are or aren't matters little. Do you think that your family will just sit idly by and allow your relationship with my daughter to continue? This affair of yours will get out. How do you think Julian will take the news? Or Ivy? She hates Theresa with a passion. And Alistair—while he may have hired my daughter to work at Crane Industries, he will not tolerate the scandal that your relationship with her will bring about. And then Ethan…"

Fox interrupted, "I've already spoken with my father."

Fear seized Pilar. "You mean you've told him about you and Theresa?"

"No, not exactly. I did ask him how he would feel if Theresa were to have an affair. He wasn't completely opposed to the notion. I suppose he was hopeful that her lover would get Theresa out of the family."

"He assumed you meant an affair with Ethan."

"Yes."

"Well, you are in a unique situation now, Nicholas. You are the Crane heir, and with that position come a multitude of new responsibilities. You will be expected to adopt a demeanor of respectability."

"I can fake respectability."

"Not if word gets out that you're carrying on an affair with your…your step-mother. Oh, God helps us."

Fox frowned. "She's my step-mommy in name only."

"She bore your father a child."

Fox fought hard not to cringe. The idea of his father with the woman he loved—it was like being physically punched in the stomach. He hated the fact that Theresa was married to Julian, hated that the ghosts of Bermuda still haunted her.

"That doesn't mean they have a real marriage." Indeed, everyone in their social set knew that Julian and Theresa's marriage was about as loving as his parents' marriage had been. "You know, I'm perplexed that they married in the first place. I've never known my father to be a man who couldn't handle his liquor. He told me that he doesn't even remember his wedding night."

"Perhaps that is for the best. Theresa remembers nothing of it, either, but she had to live with the consequences of her actions." Pilar paused. "Actually, she still does. While that must be a new concept for you, I beg you, for her sake and yours, let her go."

Fox crossed his arms. "I'm not walking away."

"You must!" Pilar insisted. "If you love her the way you claim, you will do what's right!"

"I am doing what is right. All her life, people have left her, Pilar. Her father disappeared, Ethan turned his back on her when she needed him the most, and her baby, the most precious little person in the world to her, died! How can you tell me that walking away is the right thing to do?"

"Because you are the wrong man for her! If you insist on pursuing a relationship with my daughter, she will be destroyed. Is that what you want for her?"

"I will protect her. I won't let anyone hurt her!"

"Of all the delusions of grandeur! What do you think you can do to protect her? You can't even take care of yourself. You spend money, with no thought of the hands that earned it. You speak without giving any consideration to the impact your words have. And who is going to protect her from you? Theresa needs stability in her life, a man who is good and decent, and she needs to get away from this horrible family!"

Pilar's words hung in the air. The line was drawn.

"I know I'm not what you want for your daughter, Pilar, and on some level, I even understand that. But with all due respect, it's not your decision. It's my decision and Theresa's. I came here tonight, and I felt like hell. I mean it. I felt like I had lost everything. But with just a few words…"

"Careless words."

"…you helped me to see what I should have known all along. I'm in love with your daughter, and this woman—this amazing woman—feels the same about me."

"You will damn her with your so-called love."

With that, Pilar hurried from the room.

Fox sank onto the soft bed. Theresa loved him. Resa loved him!

"Oh God, I've been such a jerk tonight," he groaned.

Foolish pride, his downfall.

He'd always believed himself to be a man of instincts. So why hadn't he followed them?

Theresa had tried to tell him that she didn't want Ethan, that he was not serving as a substitute for Ethan. So why couldn't he see she was sincere? Since when had he become so…so…insecure?

And then there was Mary Elizabeth. Fox knew he certainly hadn't helped his cause any by throwing another woman in Theresa's face. Even if he hadn't been able to get Theresa off his mind the whole time he was around Mary Elizabeth, would Theresa believe that? Would she understand why he did what he did?

"Pilar was right. If I'm going to protect her, I should start by protecting her from myself," he muttered.

He closed his eyes, and he could still see the look of hurt on Resa's face. With any luck, though, he'd be able to take that pain away.

After all, anything worth having was worth fighting for. And he was going to fight for Theresa.

Theresa crossed her arms defiantly. Her voice gained a sharpness that Ethan had never heard directed toward him before. "So you want to know about Fox and me?"

No backing down now.

"Yes, I do."

"It's none of your business. You gave up any right to know about my life a long time ago, Ethan."

"I suppose I deserve that. We aren't friends like we used to be. We aren't even pleasant to each other. It was a stupid question anyway. The thought of you and my brother…"

Theresa's eyes narrowed into cat-like slits. "What's so stupid about it?"

Ethan touched the wood railing, his open palm closing around its roughness. "Let's just say that my brother is everything I would never want to be. He changes women like other people change socks. He has no goals for himself and only pursues what feels good. I don't even think he's capable of love. I know he's never shown it to anyone in our family." Ethan released his hold on the railing and turned his attention to Theresa. He reached for a tiny hand and held it against his chest. "And then I know you, Theresa. You're a passionate woman, driven, faithful, and you believe in love. That's why I find the thought of you and Nicholas so laughable."

Theresa pulled her hand away. "You don't know him, Ethan."

Ethan felt the blood rush in his ears. "What did you say?"

"I said you don't know him. Let me educate you. Your brother is an amazing man."

"He's a charmer, slick and insincere."

"He is charismatic, yes. He knows how to get what he wants, and he might be self-involved at times, but I have seen this other side of him. I have seen the real Nicholas Foxworth Crane—the side that you and the rest of his family have been too blind to see—and he is better than the rest of you put together."

"You are so naïve."

"No, I'm not. I used to be, but you helped cure me of that. No, I meant what I said, Ethan. He's better than the rest of you put together. I have seen him donate countless hours of his time to working with disadvantaged kids. He has helped to keep me sane in the insane Crane world. But above all else, he has made me realize what love is—and what it isn't."

"My God." With those words, everything Ethan thought he knew began to crumble about his feet.

Theresa watched his reaction. At one time, she would have delighted in seeing him scrape to make sense of what he, no doubt, deemed incomprehensible. Not anymore, though. No, she wanted to be away from Ethan. She needed to find Fox, to tell him what had happened and that she didn't want Ethan. Her heart raced as she remembered his words about having broken their agreement. He admitted to having feelings for her, but could he feel the same for her as she did for him?

"This conversation is through. I want to go home."

"Just like that?" Ethan choked out.

Theresa paused and scratched her chin, as though in thought. "Well, since we're on the subject of home, you and Gwen need to find a new one. I don't want you in the Crane Mansion."

Ethan's eyes widened. "Throwing your weight around now? Didn't you say only a few moments ago that Theresa Crane was a fraud?"

"So I did."

"Well, it makes me wonder if Theresa Crane was the real deal all along and if Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald was the fraud."

"You don't like what you see? Well, you should. I'm your handiwork. You molded me, fit me into this image. If I'm cruel, it's because I learned cruelty from you. If I'm dark, it's only because you were too consumed by the light."

"Let me get this straight. I'm to blame for your unhappiness?"

"No, I chose to let you have that power over me, but you don't have it anymore, Ethan. I'm through with you."

She turned to walk away, but his strong hand closed around her slender arm. His fingers dug into her skin, and she gasped as he forced her to turn around and look at him.

"We were happy together once, and we can be that way again. It's…good…that we're getting all this out into the open. I don't ever want there to be secrets between us again."

Theresa jerked away from him and rubbed her arm. "Ethan, there is a you. There is a me. There is not an us. You loved the girl on the pedestal, so untouchable. Well, I've been touched. I've fallen. Fallen from that pedestal and fallen in love with someone else."

"Wh-what?" Ethan never entertained the notion that she would have truly moved on.

And then methodically, craftily, she plunged a knife made of words into his heart. "You wanted to know about Fox, and I just told you. I love him. I love being near him. I love talking with him. I love sleeping with him. I love laughing with him. I love him."

Ethan staggered back. "You're sleeping with him?"

Her eyes narrowed as she twisted the knife. "Every night for the last three months. He is incredible."

"I don't believe this."

"Believe it."

"You're lying to me. I know what you're saying is a lie because you told me that you loved me, that you would always love me."

"The same way you said you would love me forever? You're forgetting something. That was Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald, and didn't you just say that she was a fraud?"

"My brother, Theresa? My brother?!?!"

"Half-brother, actually, but yes."

Ethan shook his head in disbelief. "So first there was me. Then you married the man I once believed was my father. Now you're sleeping with my half-brother. Who's next Theresa? Sam? Hank? Noah? I'm going to be running out of male members of the family for you to sleep with before too long!"

"Damn you, Ethan Winthrop! It hasn't been like that, and you know it!"

"What? Are we so interchangeable? I have it figured out, though. You've used him as a substitute for me. You want him because he's my brother."

"No, I want him despite the fact he's your brother, not because of it!" She took a step back. "I am leaving now, and you are to keep your hands off me."

Quietly, Ethan spoke, "This isn't through, Theresa."

She said nothing in reply; she merely left him on the wharf with new memories to replace the old.