A/N: This is an incredibly dumb chapter. But it's a chapter, right?

Also, while I am aware that Itachi is 13, and you are aware that he is 13, that doesn't mean everyone in Konoha does.

(And: a big shout out to mabidiso for always giving great reviews, and for still reading this after that year-long hiatus.)

Mitarashi Anko prided herself on not letting herself gape like a fish. Ninja are supposed to be emotionless, after all, and anyway it hurt her jaw.

But in this moment she was unable to stop herself. They were, indeed, lost. And not in the "surrounded by quirky little shops in a half-forgotten corner of the village" lost. In the middle of a wheat field lost. She didn't even know they grew wheat in Fire Country.

"But you know where we are, right? Riiiiiight?" asked Sasuke.

"'Course, Sasuke-kun," she replied smoothly, smiling down at him. "This way." As a highly trained ninja, she was good at lying, even when on the inside she was halfway to a panic attack.

They walked for a bit, tramping down amber coloured stalks. It was only a few months until harvest season, wasn't it? It was...what month was it, anyway? Why wasn't Sasuke in school? (The concept of "summer vacation" was not one afforded to ninja-in-training. There are no holiday breaks in war.) (Except that one time in the First Shinobi World War but that was like a million years ago and barely counted.)

"Hey, shouldn't you be at the Academy right now 'stead of following me around?" she asked, in the most serious tone she could muster.

"It's cancelled until September. I got a letter. It said...uh...because of...administrative reshuffling, or something like that. I don't know."

Hunh. Administrative reshuffling? What could that possibly mean? Assuming that is what it really said; such a letter was undoubtedly written for parents and not students. Hmm...wait!Now that she thought about it, she had heard that term used before. After the Kyuubi attack. Some chuunin running off of espresso and adrenaline had explained it to her, whispered at some funeral for some poor dead man she could no longer quite remember the name of.

"It means—it means "a lot of the little people are dead, and the government is about to collapse from the weight of undone paperwork,"" he had sad, hadn't he? Yes, yes he had. Then, it made a lot of sense. She was constantly being called in to do various random jobs; bring food to the hospital staff, reshingle the orphanage's roof, file police reports,

THAT WAS IT!

The Konoha Military Police had been from its founding until a few weeks ago, an organisation dominated by Uchiha. Anyone could apply in theory; but in reality very few who weren't of the Sharingan clan ever did. She shuddered to think of the criminals that were no doubt not being caught right now as those few left scrambled to train new recruits. One might think ANBU would be an easy replacement, and she did vaguely remember hearing some grumbles about that sort of thing, but it was only a short-term solution. Their purview was killing and espionage, not petty thievery, domestic abuse, and illegal gambling rings.

So, presumably, many of the Academy teachers were being reassigned to the police force, as they were all chuunin who had proven they could work well with civilians. Late August was when this year's Chuunin exams were going to be; and then all those who passed would be made, er, highly encouraged to become officers or teachers. Not really the best of solutions, but after the war the Yondaime promised he wouldn't pull anymore people out of retirement unless the village was facing imminent attack, and it seemed to Sandaime was honouring that.

"Hey, look, the wall!" said Sasuke cheerily. "People! We're not lost anymore!"

And there, indeed, was a high stone wall. A bored-looking ninja was leaning against it; another was sitting on top of it, and a third was talking to a man in coveralls and a cone-shaped straw hat. They approached; Sasuke, with the boundless energy of a little boy, and Anko, with the learned caution of one in a place of unfamiliarity.

"Uh...hey, um, Shinobi-san," she said, to the one who was on the ground and not otherwise occupied. Best to be polite. "Where are we?"

He rolled his eyes. "Konoha."

"But this is the countryside!" said Sasuke, confused. "Since when did Konoha have farms?"

"Since its founding, little boy," replied the man in the coveralls, a bit angrily. "Where do you suppose you get your food from?" He sighed, like he was used to this sort of questioning.

"But Konoha's a city. You don't have farms in the city."

"Konoha's a village, kid. You think this is a city? You ain't seen nothing yet. There're places out there with half a million people and buildings twenty storeys tall. Anyway, how long do you think we'd last in a war if all our food supply was outside the walls? Not very long, let me tell you. That's the real reason Uzushio fell, you know," and then the man devolved into incomprehensible, bitter mutterings.

"Just follow the wall and you'll be back at the main gates in half an hour," said the ninja on top of the wall.

"Aww, Nagisa, you aren't supposed to tell people that!," complained the bored-looking one, but Anko had already grabbed Sasuke's hand and starting walking. She didn't want to be here any longer then she had to.

Once they were were out of earshot, Nagisa turned to stare down at his comrades and asked "I thought the last Uchiha was a boy?"

"Me too," replied the farmer.

"Hey, his brother's hair is longer than mine," said the woman who had been talking to the farmer, flicking her shoulder-length orange hair out of her face.

There was a horrified gasp from the ninja who had been leaning against the wall, who stood up straight abruptly. "Uchiha Itachi is male? But—but-" He buried his hands in his face.

"And also twelve!" said Nagisa, rather too gleefully.

Another horrified gasp. "I think I need a drink. You guys wanna go to the bar after our shift is done? I'll pay."

"No thanks," said the ginger on his right. "I'm not old enough to drink."