Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. This chapter is mostly fiction. Enjoy!
Last time:
"Isabella, are you not hungry?" Jasper suddenly asks, as if just seeing my lunch. I shake my head no and continue to eat my apple, ignoring the look they both share. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, this is fine." I try to end the discussion. They don't push it and conversation starts up about this weekend. I listen, but don't comment. Watching the couple together is both amazing and heart breaking. They are made for each other; anyone could see that. It's heartbreaking because I know I will never have that. No-one will ever look at me the way he looks at Alice. The love and warmth he has for her makes me want to smile and cry. I'm so happy for them both, I really am.
Eventually, the bell rings and we leave the lunch room, splitting off towards our lessons. They head to English and I go to Gym. Great. Kill me now?
Chapter twelve.
Now:
I just barely make it through the door to the changing room when I am pushed against the wall. My breath leaves my lungs with a whoosh, and I shut my eyes. I knew this would happen. I can't just walk away from them after what Emmett said. The rest of them hadn't had their turn and now they are going to. This is their time to tell me how truly disgusting and horrible I am. This will hurt, but I'm prepared for it. I always am.
I open my eyes and look straight at Rosalie. Tanya, Lauren and Jessica are standing just behind her and all the rest of the girls in the room quickly leave, pulling their tops down and their shorts up as they go. Rosalie glares at me and pushes me harder against the wall, making me wince a little.
"Hey, fatty. You need to stay the fuck away from my friends and my Emmett. He hates you, and the rest of the world hates you," Rosalie spits and I look down at her hands which are gripping me so hard I can feel her nails in my skin. I know that when she lets go there will be some angry red crescents there, most likely a little blood, too.
"Yeah, Swan." Jessica laughs at my name, like normal. "Maybe you should go jump of a cliff and die!" Lauren sniggers, but Tanya and Rosalie look at her in shock. I blink back my tears and will myself to be stronger.
"That was going too far, Jessica," Tanya whispers, but I still hear her. Jessica shrugs and smiles at Tanya, making her roll her eyes.
"Anyway, Lardy." Rosalie looks back at me, her eyes hard. "Emmett was telling me all about you the other day. About how you go home and cry every night, how you scream out in your sleep. How your mommy has to come in and hold you, just so you can get sleep again." I swallow hard and feel my whole body fill with hurt. How dare he!
"He told me what happened to you. He told me why you are so fat and pathetic." I clench my eyes shut, trying to make the memories go away. Just breathe. The stabbing feeling in my heart comes back and I just want to curl up and wait for the hurt to go away. "What's up, Isabella? You thinking about that night again? You feeling the fear and the pain of what happened to you? I hope you are, because then you know how I feel every damn time I see you."
Flashes of that night come back to me and the fear almost makes me fold myself in half. The fear makes me want to run away, back home into my mother's arms. I want my father to protect me like he did before. I want my brother to hold me all night long and promise me that nothing like that will happen again, that he promises not to run off and leave me alone in the dark again.
"What's up, chunky? Hmm? Do you want us to go away? Do you want us to leave you alone?" Tanya whispers in my ear, leaning over Rosalie to get to me. I nod pathetically, but I know they won't leave, no matter how much I beg. "Well, tough. If you want to be left alone, you shouldn't draw so much attention to yourself. You should try to blend in, not take up the whole school."
I squeeze my eyes closed tighter, but a tear still manages to sneak out and run down my cheek. I immediately cringe, knowing that they feed off of my weaknesses. They see something that they like and they act on it. I could fight back and yell at them, but they will keep pushing until I snap and then they will attack. They see a tear, and punch it off my face. They see blood and slap at it, making the blood spread further down my body. These girls are evil and everybody knows it.
"Open your fucking eyes, fatty!" Rosalie screams at me. I snap my eyes open, another tear falling at the action. "Do you know what I really love? I love seeing you so terrified. I love seeing the fear in your eyes every time you see us. I love the way your body tries to get smaller whenever you are in our presence - even though it's impossible.
"Everyone in this school wants you gone. Every guy in this school thinks about you when they are fucking their girlfriends, so they don't cum as quickly then. It either means they last longer, or they have to go to the bathroom and puke. How does that make you feel? Hmm? How does it feel to know that you disgust everyone that sees you? I mean, I will never know because I am every guy's dream girl. I'm beautiful, I have an amazing body and I can actually do math. Who wouldn't want me?" She smirks and flips her hair over her shoulder. My stomach rolls. Do they really think about me, just so they are no longer turned on? Surely not every guy?
"This is going to be fun," Lauren giggles and I look at her, wondering what she could be talking about. Rosalie backs away from me and follows the rest of the girls out the room. My chest stings where Rosalie's nails were and I rub it with my hand, a few more tears falling from my eyes.
My heart is beating frantically against my ribs; my mind racing. Flashes of that night run through my mind making my stomach twist painfully. Why would Emmett tell her about that night? He knows how much it scares me and he knows she would use it against me. If I thought I hated him before, it is nothing compared to now. I want to rip his head off and feed it to Rosalie, just to rip her head off and feed it to a rabid dog.
What did Lauren mean when she said this was going to be fun? What's going to be fun? What sick game do they have planned now? Are they going to come back with knives? A gun maybe? If they kill me, it would put me out of my misery. I would rather take death than feel the pain I feel every day for the rest of my life. I would rather die and never have children, or a real life for that matter, than feel the hatred towards my brother.
The door opens again and I jump, turning to face it. I can feel all the colour leave my face when Tyler, Mike and Eric walk in and lock the door behind them. I back away slowly, as if they are dangerous animals. They all line up just in front of the door, evil smirks on each of their faces.
"Why, hello there, porky," Tyler spits, taking one step forward.
"You're looking very large today," Mike adds, also stepping forward. Eric follows suit and I take a step back, trying to put some distance between them and me. It doesn't really work out the way I planned, though, when my back hits the wall behind me. They keep walking forward and my heart rate speeds up. More and more flashes of the past come to me. Of course, Rosalie would have to bring that to the front of my mind, then this happens. They planned this and now there is nothing I can do about it.
"Leave me alone," I mumble, my eyes darting between the three boys. They all laugh and soon they are right in front of me, herding me into a corner. Maybe the girls were right and I should die. They sent these guys in here to finish me off. I let my eyes slowly close and make my body relax. I'll take whatever they give. I don't have it in me to fight anymore; I don't have it in me to care.
A rough hand goes to my hip, slowly going lower. I know it is Mike without opening my eyes by the gagging sound he makes.
"Eww, dude. You're feeling the heifer up," Tyler chuckles and another hand goes to my other hip. It was like this before. Tears slip past my closed eyes and down my cheeks, spilling onto my chest. Soon, six hands are on my body, and my body is stiff with fear. My breath is coming out in harsh pants and my stomach is knotted, bile rising slowly up my throat.
My eyes eventually snap open when a rough hand painfully grips my right breast. A deep moan leaves Eric's throat at the same time a scream leaves mine. They all jump and let go of me and I slip to the floor, curling into a ball. I go back to being a ten year old girl again, running away from the nasty man who tried to touch me in places that I didn't like.
I keep screaming and clutch my hair, slowly rocking backwards and forwards. I know I look crazy right now, but I don't care. I want all the feelings to leave me alone. I want to be happy and I want the memories to all go away.
"Dude, she's fucked up. Let's go," Mike mutters and they all leave. I keep screaming, not caring about who hears. I want my mom.
I don't know how long I am there on the floor, but I know that everyone laughs when they come in after gym, pointing at me and gossiping with their friends. Some girls even take pictures and send them to their friends. I know that they all eventually get changed and go to their next class, and I know that the third period bell sounds, and then the lunch bell.
The tears have been stopped for a while now, but I still rock backwards and forward, my hands in my hair.
"Isabella? There you are." I glance up to see Jasper, soon followed by Ben, run in. Ben stays by the door, glancing between me and the hall. Jasper, however, kneels down in front of me and takes my hands away from my hair. My hands ache when I uncurl them from a fist and my hair feels like it has all been ripped out.
"We have been worried sick about you. Are you okay?" Jasper whispers. I just look at him, searching his eyes for any hint of hatred or threat. When I see none, I look to the floor, my hands itching to go back into my hair. "Isabella, what happened?" he asks and I shake my head, tears welling.
Ben's phone goes off and he pulls it out of his pocket. I can see him looking at the screen and whatever is on it must shock him, because he gasps and his eyes meet mine.
"Oh, Isabella. I am so sorry." I shake my head and look down at the floor.
"What? What happened?" Jasper gets to his feet and goes over to Ben.
"It's a video," Ben states, and then clicks play. I can see him using the buttons on the side of the screen to turn the volume up. The screams get louder and louder out of the speaker and I know that it's the video of what happened to me.
"That is sick!" The venom in Jasper voice is shocking. I have never seen him like this before.
"Jas, dude. Cool off a bit, you're scaring her," Ben mutters, smiling sympathetically at me. I look away, not wanting pity or sympathy. If I wasn't so fat, I wouldn't draw attention to myself. I wouldn't have drawn the attention of that man back then, and I wouldn't have the troubles that I do now. If I wasn't so big, I would be loved and people would see me for who I really am. My life would be different. Well, as they say, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I just hope all of this does.
"Isabella?" I flash my eyes to Jasper's, then away again. "Did they hurt you? If they did, I will kill them." I quickly shake my head.
"No, they didn't hurt me. Please, can you just forget it? I'm not… I mean, it's not that important." I quickly recover, but I can see both boys narrow their eyes at me and I know they heard my slip up.
"You're worth it, Isabella. Please don't think otherwise." Ben tries to reassure me, but I shrug it off. No use believing lies.
"Ben, can you go and find Alice for me, please? I'm sure she's worried sick." Ben runs off after Jasper finishes his question.
"Thanks. Jasper, but you can go now," I whisper, pulling my legs close to my body and putting my arms around them. I don't want to take up any more of Jasper's time. He's a nice guy; 'one of the good ones', as Alice would say. She definitely did well with snatching Jasper up before someone like Tanya or Lauren did. I shudder to think what dating one of those girls could have done to him.
"I'm not going anywhere. By the looks of that video, you were terrified of those guys." His eyes turn soft as they search mine out. I don't look away this time and I don't see pity, I see concern. Been a while since I saw that, I think dryly. "Is there anything you want to talk about? My ears are open and my shoulder's free," he jokes and I manage a tiny smile. "I mean it, Iz, anytime." My eyes widen at that. Did he just call me Iz?
"What did you call me?" I have to check.
"I called you Iz," he drawls. "It's like a nickname. Do you not like it?" Even though the sentence should be said with worry, he is everything but. His voice is always so confident and sure, it makes me so jealous sometimes.
"It's just," I pause to think of the right word. "Different, I guess." He nods, but the smile never leaves his face.
"Okay, now we have that sorted out," he chuckles and I smile as well. I can't help it, Jasper just makes everyone want to smile. No wonder Alice loves him so much. "Let's get you off this floor." He straightens up and offers me his hand. I shake my head and get up myself. I don't want to break his back, Alice would kill me.
"Thanks, Jasper." He smiles wildly and before I can think about what's happening, he pulls me into his arms, hugging me to his body. I freeze and I think he notices, but he doesn't let go or back away.
"Hey, get off my man!" A small giggle comes from the doorway and Jasper laughs as he lets me go. As soon as I am out of his arms, I'm in Alice's. Her body is so small, but I hug her back anyway, feeling the familiarity and warmth of her hug.
"Oh, so you hug her back," Jasper laughs and another musical laugh joins in. I jump and my heart begins to race. I think Alice can feel it because she peaks up at me with a knowing grin. I shake my head slightly and frown as she lets go.
Looking over to the door, Jasper and Edward are standing there, sharing the same look of concern. Alice asks me what happened and I just tell her it was nothing, because at the end of the day, it was. I'm nothing and what happens to me is nothing. Everyone I know has taught me that.
Alice takes my hand and the guys lead the way out of the front of the school. Confusion over whelms me. Surely it's not the end of the day already? As if she can sense my question, Alice informs me that I can no longer stay in school and we are all going back to her house. I shrug and continue walking, my eyes on my feet. We all climb into cars; I'm with Alice, and Jasper rides with Edward.
We eventually arrive at the Cullen's' after a quiet, comfortable ride home. Alice had the radio on, but it didn't fill the car. It was nice. Alice parks the car and all but falls out of it and into Jasper's arms. I smile slightly and unbuckle the seat belt, climbing out the car and shutting the door silently. Esme must have seen us arrive because she comes out the house, a scowl on her immaculate face.
"What are you all doing here?" she huffs, taking in her children and Jasper. When her eyes meet mine, she smiles widely and comes forward, taking me into her arms. Her hugs have always been motherly to me and I love her as if she was my real mother. Esme and Carlisle grew up with Charlie and Renee, but they lost contact after Emmett, Alice, Edward and I were born. They started their families and they lost contact with each other. When Alice and I became friends, Renee and Esme started talking again and now they are as close and Alice and I are.
"Talk to me later," she whispers in my ear and I nod. Alice huffs and moans about Esme hogging me, making us both laugh. Alice eventually drags me up to her room to put on a DVD. On the way up, I couldn't help but notice that Edward and Jasper had disappeared.
Thank you so much for reading. Every review/favourite/alert makes me so happy. My mum always asks me what my huge smile is about. Reading all of your amazing reviews and messages makes me fill with so much happiness. Okay, I need to stop talking/typing now.
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Twi-girl09
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