Chapter 14

Everything seemed to stop. The spinning of the Earth, the beating of her frustratingly weak heart, the ironically happy chirping of the birds; it all just stopped. Even time itself seemed to stop as Parker clung to Jarod, needing his strength to keep her from falling to the blood-soaked ground. That ground that may have well as just swallowed her children whole.

She would never openly admit to needing anyone, but she knew the truth. She needed Jarod. Would desperately need his strength, his intelligence, his faith, if they were to find Gabe and Tessa; far more terrifying to her though, was the fact that she not only needed him, but wanted him. She wanted him as desperately as she needed him, for many of the same reasons, but also more. They fit, like the puzzle pieces he had once compared them too, even though they were more dented, chipped, and cracked, maybe even broken, than they had been on that painful grief filled night, they still fit. It was him she screamed for to help her in her nightmares. Him she waited on to call. Never in her life had she waited on any man. And yet she waited on him. Waited for him to discover who he could be and who he was, waited for him to come back even as she chased him, waited on him to forgive her for doing her best even though it had never been enough, waited on him to forgive her for hurting him and choosing instead to protect those still trapped inside, from the inside, instead of taking the new life and the chance he offered.

And she hated that.

Hated that that she so blatantly needed his help. Hated that she wanted him so badly it broke her already weak heart. Hated that she would do for him what she would never do for any other. Hated that he was probably the only man who could ever fulfill all the silly romantic promises that she would always deny wanting. Hated that he claimed to understand her better than anyone else, and proved though books and cards and games and gifts that he did and through his awful hate filled words and furious eyes that he didn't understand her at all. Hated that she was too weak to be the one to walk away, to claim a new life, to move on. Hated that he would enviably take her children away. And hated that he would be right too.

As the small glade began filling with people Parker pulled away from Jarod. In public she could not risk being seen as weak, as vulnerable. Clinging to her anger as she had clung to him, she pulled her anger and fear around her, wrapping it like her long white jacket around her slim frame.

The Major and Jarod watched helplessly as the indomitable Miss Parker pilled her armor on and locked away her too human heart. Margaret and Emily watched as the woman before them shrugged aside help and support, dealing swiftly and efficiently with a horrible situation. Ethan and J.J. watched, fascinated, as Parker did what she did best, find Pretenders.

JMP

Her momentary shock over, Parker moved quickly, seeking out first Sydney's then Anglo's pulses. As she knelt over Sydney, the blood drenching the ground began staining the bottom of her once pure white jacket. Sydney, his eyes opened briefly and he attempted to speak.

"Don't talk Syd. Let's get you to the infirmary first," she said softly, her hand gently covering his mouth, preventing the old man from expending the energy. Her face was a mask of complete professionalism, the same hard face she'd hidden behind for years.

Sydney recognized it, and even as the darkness closed around him again, he took refuge in it. If Parker was hunting again then she would catch her prey. And may God have mercy on the soul of the idiotic fool who'd angered her.

Parker stood, her natural grace seeming to transform her every movement into something Jarod could only equate with a hunting lioness. "Sam, get a medical team here now. I want both Sydney and Anglo under armed guard. Jarod, Major, I want a complete sweep of the area, how either of you would get in, what route you would have taken, everything. J.J., Emily, I want you to find the locations of everyone who would be stupid enough to do this and smart enough to pull it off. Ethan, start listening, focusing, whatever you need to do. Broots!" Spinning away from the scene in the garden, Parker sought out her balding computer-tech. He was somewhere nearby, he was always somewhere nearby.

Over the years, his confidence had grown, and although he was deferential to Parker he could and would stand up to others. "Yes, Miss Parker?" he asked, the signs of his growth in spine and confidence in his lack of stutter and that his hands were still, not wringing nervously.

"Find everything on the Pretender and Gemini programs. I need to know every aspect of both and what the purposes were. More than just the financial gains were involved, and if we have to go back to those damned scrolls, then so be it."

"Everything? There are trillions of files, the individual case studies, millions of simulations per Pretender, and that's not even counting the Donoterase files…" Broots began, knowing she would cut him off, but he wanted her to understand the scope of what she was asking. Even if both knew he would do it and quicker and more thoroughly than anyone else.

"Everything, Broots. This reeks of a pretender, and I need to know everything."

"You didn't need to know everything to hunt my Jarod," Margaret said coldly, she and everyone else had noticed that Parker had not toldher to do something.

"No, I just needed to know Jarod. And believe me, Margaret, there are four experts in the world on your precious son. Jarod, Sydney, Broots, and myself. Now, I need you to go back inside and sit with Matt and Sara."

Jarod remembered the other two children of the Parker household, how much they truly seemed part of the family. Until now he had forgotten them, but Parker hadn't. Once again he marveled at her strength and her ability to keep her head in bad situations. But he wondered when this would break her, would break him. The loss of himself and Kyle had broken his mother, and he couldn't comprehend a world with a truly broken Parker, the cracks, many of which he'd inflicted, had seemed bad enough.

"Jarod!" his mother cried and he knew what she wanted. For him to take charge, issue different orders, to usurp Parker.

"Dad, you go to the left and circle back, look for anything," he said, voice firm and controlled, turning to circle from the right himself.

He had to keep his anger focused for it to be useful. Tuning out the angry sigh of his mother, and the retreating footsteps of the rest of his family, he changed himself. He became someone who could steal a child and murder anyone who got in his way. The darkness was always there, always below surface, but always present. He tapped into that darkness as his whole personality changed as well as everything else about him. He was harder, more dangerous, colder than ice, his edge always present anyway, it became sharper more cutting. The small remaining conscious point that was Jarod urged this hired killer and kidnapper away from Parker.

This persona wanted her as much as any other he'd ever been, as much as the true Jarod did. But this persona, with his hard cutting edges and cold deliberate actions wanted desperately to just simply take her. Claim her.

Make her his in all the ways that she was not. Make sure that she would never leave him again. Make sure that she would never want to walk away from him again. Make her understand how much her cold glares had hurt him at that airport after everything that had happened, and not happened at Carthis. Make her understand his fear when she had made her presence on the plane known and he realized there were not enough parachutes. Make her see how much her refusal to help him in his quest to find his family had hurt. Make her see that her obvious affection for and attention to JJ had always been a conflicting source of pride and jealousy for him. Make her see that he only seemed to fit with her, who understood and asked only the questions that were necessary of him. Make her see that this was were he wanted to be, even if he had spent the last decade running from the Centre, it was the only place he fit, she was the only place he fit.

And he hated it.

Hated that she was forever untrusting of him, always holding something back. Hated that she was moving on, capable of starting and creating a whole new and complete life without him. Hated that she was capable of family life, raising children, being a protective "sister" and "daughter," while he had watched his marriage crumble in the wake of his past, his secrets and while he did not fit within the mold of the dutiful son. Hated that she had not needed him to reach her turning point, as he had needed her to reach his. Hated that she was leaving him even as he was regaining her. Hated that she wouldn't let him help or support her. Hated that she had probably known how to contact him these last few years and hadn't. Hated that she had kept him from his children, had kept him from helping and supporting her through pregnancy and childbirth. And hated that she had probably been right too.

And the remaining voice in his head that was Jarod refused to let that happen, refused to give in to his desire to turn around, drag her into her office and claim her. So he moved away from her, looking for any entry points, anything that was out of the ordinary. Anything that could lead him back to his precious children.