DISCLAIMER: The plot belongs to me but all things Twilight belong to the lovely Stephenie Meyer

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks again for all of the wonderful reviews. Keep it up.

The Word of the Day is Exposed

Bella's pov

"Yes, Dad." I sighed. "I'll be careful."

He was acting like this was the first time I had ever gone out of town. I had gone to college after all! I'd been away from home for longer than just the weekend that I'd be spending in Vegas. But then again maybe that's why he was freaking out. He was just sure that if I went there I'd end up an avid gambler or something.

I tried to assure him by reminding him I'd be with Alice and Rosalie. This didn't seem to make him feel any better. Then I reminded him I was going with Jasper and Emmett just to mess with his head. That definitely didn't make him feel better.

I snickered.

"I'm just worried about you." He defended. "It's my right as your father."

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes he feels guilty for Renee running off, like it was his fault or something,(!) and he gets even more protective than usual.

"I know, I know." I soothed him. "Just relax. I don't want you having a heart attack while I'm away."

He snorted.

"Of course I'd wait until you were in town."

I grinned, wedging the phone between my shoulder and ear so that I could fold some tee shirts and stuff it in my suitcase. Ah, the joy of packing for myself. Alice and Rose would never let me get away with just wearing my tees and jeans the whole time if they'd packed for me. Maybe I'd bring one dress shirt or a really low key dress in case we go out to dinner one night or something.

"Not on my watch, buddy." I warned playfully.

He chuckled.

"Alright. Did you remember to pack your phone charger?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I forgot it once!" I hissed. "One time!"

He didn't hesitate.

"And that was one time I couldn't get a hold of you." He reasoned. "I almost flew down there to make sure you were still alive."

"I promise to call you if I'm dead." I joked.

He didn't seem as amused by my quick wit as I was.

"Who else is going?" he asked dryly.

I cursed internally. I was trying to avoid this conversation. As a matter of fact I had managed to avoid it the last couple of times I'd talked to him. It's not that I was embarrassed of Edward. At all. It was just so awkward. Charlie could get... overbearing.

"Jasper's cousin, Edward, might come too." I rushed through it, almost hoping he didn't catch what I'd said.

"Edward." He deadpanned. "Is a boy?"

I picked through my closet, looking for a suitable dress for Alice and Rose but something comfortable enough for me.

"No." I exaggerated. "It's a girl named Ed."

He snorted.

"Don't get that attitude with me, Isabella." He warned in his dad voice. I was immediately three years old again. "Now is this boy... attractive?"

"No." I lied automatically. "He's a four foot tall hobbit with boils and webbed toes."

Dad snorted.

"It wasn't attitude." I said quickly, smiling. "It was sarcasm."

"That's something you got from your mother." He sniffed.

I rolled my eyes. Suurree I did. Well, maybe I did. I wouldn't know. But if I did I got a double dose of it because Charlie knew a thing or two about snide comments.

"Just don't be making me a grandfather." he said and I could tell he was grinning. "I'm too young to be anyones grandfather."

I rolled my eyes. Why did everyone choice that topic to pick fun?! Did I really come off as that easy? Edward was never getting anywhere if people kept talking about babies. I was starting to feel like it was an omen.

"You're not that young." I insisted, picking a coral spaghetti strap dress out of my closet and inspecting it. Alice had convinced me to buy it so I knew I wouldn't get any grief for wearing it but it was comfortable.

"Besides I had my tubes tide."

Charlie choked, probably on nothing but air and I smirked. Serves him right for asking something like that!

"You... you did?" He finally asked, still coughing.

I shook my head, dropping the dress in my suitcase.

"No." I laughed. "Not really. But you should know better than bringing stuff like that up with me, old man."

He cleared his throat.

"Fair enough." he accepted.

I smirked.

"Listen, dad, I've got to go now." I said, apologetic. I hadn't talked to him in a few days and now I had to get off the phone before we'd really had a chance to talk. "Don't forget to go to your check up tomorrow and you have another physical therapy appointment Monday."

He sighed, exasperated. He liked to be overprotective but wasn't such a big fan when it was turned on him.

"Sure, sure." he grumbled.

"Dad..."

"I will." He assured me, although he wasn't happy about it. "I promise."

I smiled.

"Thanks, daddy." I grinned. "Alice is coming over soon to make sure I'm not packing only sweats or something. I'll call you when we get there."

He laughed.

"Good. Tell Alice hi for me."

"I will." I promised. "Pray for me. I packed a dress so hopefully she'll leave it alone."

He chuckled.

"Bye, kid."

"Bye."

Emmett's point of view

The blue hair thing had been good, but not good enough. I mean she still had a blue tint to her but she'd extended the ad in the personals and added a picture! Besides everyone knows the second prank has to be better than the first. And I hadn't gotten Edward back yet at all. I'd like to say I was lulling him into a sense of false security but that wasn't it. I just couldn't think of anything.

For a while there I thought I'd had it. The thing Edward cherished most was his car so... the Volvo had to go down. I wanted to sell it to his mortal enemy; Or the closest thing Edward had to one anyway. I really don't know what the guy had done but Edward actually disliked someone... a lot. But that was all nothing because it turns out Mike wasn't in the market for a new car.

So now I was back to square one. Rosalie suggested letting it go because it had been so long and really the calls were dwindling after weeks but I wouldn't hear of it. It's almost like my wife didn't know me at all! Let it go? Not going to happen, Rosie!

And then like a bright light, complete with the wind chime bells and a hallelujah choir, my problem was solved. The Volvo wasn't the thing Edward cherished most after all.

Edward and Bella were going out.

Everyone saw them making out when he walked her to the chumbucket. Bella kept glancing at the front door like we were newbies at this or something. Well that is when she wasn't attempting to suck Eddie's face off. But we all knew something was going on.

So we tiptoed around the house and watched over the privacy fence.

Everyone else wanted to call them out on it right away. After hearing Bella gripe for weeks about my old buddy they were together?! Not cool. But I convinced them not to.

I talked them down rationally and led them to see reason and rhyme.

Okay, actually I blocked the gate and put Alice in a head lock so she wouldn't ruin my new plan by running out to them screaming about how she knew their secret. It might not be the most reasonable defense but it was the only thing that was going to stop my height deprived little friend.

And the funny thing was... Edward had handed me his death warrent. Not literally, calm down. But he did give me the idea for my sweet revenge. And with this idea I could get Edward and Bella. I know I'd already gotten Bella but I figured this could cover her complaining the whole month about someone she actually likes. And it was part of the deal I made with Alice. We must mess with their heads a little if she doesn't tell them she knows already.

You never know who'll get drunk and wake up married.

That's what he had said. But I knew!

All I had to do was get Bella and Edward drinking and slip a ring on Bell's finger without her noticing. And when Bella's inebriated she doesn't notice anything.

Piece of cake.

They would never know they weren't really married... until I told them. I suppose I'd have to tell them eventually. I didn't want to scar them for life I just wanted to mess with their heads for a morning or two.

BPOV(United Airlines, flight 297)

"What are you doing?"

I looked up from my paper, smiling slightly when I saw Edward leaning over the back of the seat in front of me. I looked around quickly to make sure no one had noticed my reaction. Nope. We are so good.

"I'm writing a card." I said, nibbling my bottom lip and rereading what I had so far.

Crap. It was all crap.

I sighed, scribbling out my ideas. Why didn't I bring a pencil? Why did it have to be pen?

"Not having too much success with that?" he chuckled.

I frowned.

"If you're not going to help stop distracting me." I huffed.

"Okay." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes. So easily distracted!

But then he got up and edged his way around the giggly teenage girl he'd been assigned to sit next to. His seat mate blushed profusely as he smiled crookedly, scooting past her to stand in the main isle. The stewardess would(and had) given anyone else crap about this since the seatbelt light was still on but she took one look at Edward and foamed a little at the mouth. She didn't tell him to, "Please sit down right now."

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

People were craning their necks to look at him and in consequence me. I blushed.

"Excuse me, Ma'am?" He talked to my seat mate now, an elderly old woman with a shawl and a perpetual scowl.

The lady frowned up at him.

"You need to stay seated, young man."

I snickered. At least not everyone was a puddle of goop at his charming feet.

"I apologize." he said, not sounding sarcastic or snippy like I would have. "But my wonderful girlfriend here is scared of flying. That's why she's being so crabby."

The woman shot me a dubious look. Just so you know I am not scared of flying. But this woman smelled like old people and too much perfume. It was making me gag.

"It's not that I'm scared." I confided in her, using my best high school cheerleader voice. "It just upsets my tummy."

The old woman looked a little worried as she scooted to the other side of her chair. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep in my laughter.

Edward nodded gravely, not missing a beat.

"Usually I try to sit beside her in case she misses the bag again."

She wrinkled her nose, standing abruptly and tightening her shawl around her. She looked like one of those people you make in elementary school with the dried apples.

"Trade you seats?" he offered.

She moved without another word. I laughed quietly to myself as she plopped down next to Edward's highly disappointed ex seat mate.

Edward grinned, taking the newly vacated seat.

"So, what's the topic this time?" he asked, nodding towards the paper on my lap.

I laughed. I didn't even call him out on his 'girlfriend' comment. We spent the rest of the flight working on my card although it didn't really make a difference- what with his lack of talent in all things poetry and my lack of compassion. But in my defense my compassion wasn't completely gone. It was just... stunted.

"Bella," Emmett smirked, a peculiar twinkle in his eye, after the plan had landed and everyone was getting their carry on bags. "I know you hate the guy but subjecting him to your cards is another level of torture."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my carry on from the over head compartment, stomping off without a word. He'd been making even more obnoxious comments than usual. I didn't even know my friends could be more annoying but they had all stepped up their performances lately.

This was going to be a long weekend, I thought as I heard Alice and Rose squeal behind me. Rosalie was squealing?

Man I need a drink.

The hotel Alice chose was amazing- chandeliers hanging in the massive lobby, tasteful paintings lining the walls, and enormous marble pillars.

"Wow." I breathed.

Alice smiled, obviously proud of herself.

"It is wow isn't it?" she giggled. "Now, come on. The day's wasting away! Lets check in so we can go out on the town!"

Rosalie whooped.

I rolled my eyes, catching Edward's eye and sharing a look. But I followed her dutifully. Alice had insisted she plan the entire thing and I didn't see a problem with that. It's not like my forte was planning dream vacations. I trusted Alice and seeing the hotel I knew my trust had not been misplaced. But that meant she had the confirmation code so we really had no chose but to follow.

"We have reservations under Alice Cullen." She announced, bouncing in front of the blond woman with the name tag that said, Good day. My name is Heidi.

Jasper looked at Alice adoringly and I awwed. Using Jasper's last name for the first time!

"Of course, Mrs. Cullen." My name is Heidi answered pleasantly.

Alice practically squealed again and I giggled. They were so cute together! I can't imagine what they were going to be like when they were actually married. On second thought I really hoped I didn't have to see the sickeningly happy newlyweds until they were back to at least some seblance of normal.

"Here we are." My name is Heidi hummed, typing away on her hi-tech computer. "Confirmation code?"

Alice prattled it off with a flick of her hand and Heidi pulled up our information with no difficulties.

"Thank you," she smiled. "Here are your keys. We have you down for two rooms with king size beds and one with two full sized. Is that correct?"

Alice nodded and I frowned. I knew we weren't all getting our own rooms for the amount that we all pitched in but I didn't understand the arangments. Of course Alice and Jasper would want to room together and Emmett and Rosalie would be together without a doubt. But that only left...

"Oh, hell no." I grumbled.

My name is Heidi's eyebrows shot up her forehead to hide in her perfectly parted hair line.

"Excuse me, Ma'am." She said, uneasily. "Is there a problem?"

I smiled tightly at her before frowning at Alice. I take back everything good I've ever said about Alice in this story. She's conniving and she lives to make my life hell.

"Give me a second to talk to my friend?" I didn't wait for her to reply. I just grabbed hold of Alice's elbow and drug her a few feet away from prying ears.

"And I use that term lightly." I hissed at her.

She scoffed, yanking her elbow back and crossing her arms over her chest.

"What is the problem, Bella?" she deadpanned.

I gave her a disbelieving look. She knew exactly what the problem was here!

"There's three rooms?"

She nodded.

"Yes." She affirmed, her voice the equivalent of an eye roll. "I'm still not seeing the problem here."

"Who am I supposed to be sharing a room with?" I corked an eyebrow.

She didn't reply to that question.

"If you weren't worried about what you'd do if you two were left alone for two seconds sleeping in the same room wouldn't be a problem at all." She scowled. "There's two separate beds."

I scowled right back at her, resting my hands on my hips and staring her down.

But she was right.

I sighed, letting my hands fall.

There really was nothing to worry about. There was two separate beds after all.

"Fine." I grumbled.

She nodded, smirking, and grabbed my elbow.

"Good." She breezed. "Now take the key and get ready. We're going out at seven."

"Have you even talked about this with Edward?" I asked. I mean just because I was giving up fighting with Alice didn't mean he would.

Alice snorted.

"He'll live."

"If you're not comfortable I can try to book another room for myself." Edward said out of no where.

I looked at him, biting my lip. He was standing by the reservations desk, his arms crossed casually over his chest but he looked slightly worried as he scrutinized my face.

Alice huffed.

"There won't be any rooms available without a reservation." She said and I noticed Heidi looked a little relieved at her words. "You two can stop bickering like children and stay in a room without killing each other for two days." She insisted, handing Edward the key to our room.

Then she glided off to the elevator where the rest of our friends had obviously already disappeared.

"I can get another room is you're uncomfortable with this, Bella." Edward said quietly, sincere.

I shook my head with a sigh.

"If they don't have a room here I can find one in another hotel." he continued. "I don't want you to feel pressured."

I smiled gently. That right there is Prince charming behavior my friends. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Our friends were all safely in the elevator or even in their own rooms by this time but I might have done it even if they had been standing there. It was so sweet.

"That's very considerate." I whispered, grinning at him. "But it's completely unnecessary."

He released that crooked grin on me.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Yes." I smirked. "But don't get any ideas. You have to stay on your side of the room, buddy."

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"I'll be on my best behavior." he promised.

He reached down to take hold of my hand, twinning our fingers together and a jolt of excitement ran through me; not just the attraction like it usually was either, but a jolt of happiness, at just being able to hold his hand in public. Maybe we should tell our friends...

And everyone here now thought that we were together. I could see my name is Heidi practically green with envy standing there behind Edward in her professional pencil skirt and high heels that I wouldn't be able to take one step in. But she knew he was mine. And I really liked that.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

He kissed my knuckles, strolling us towards the elevator.

"Of course, dear."

Author's Note: So, what do you think of Emmett's return prank? Is it good enough? How do you think truck-napper/DB will react to this one? Don't forget to ask for a preview of the next chapter in your review if you want one. Favorite line/scene?

There's a link to the dress Bella packed on my profile. I wish I could find one here. It's really cute.

There was an anonymous reviewer who asked if I read Sarah Dessen. Of course I do! :) Just listen is my favorite.