Surprise you guys! This is my seond update within one day, I hope you like it. Thank you so much for your reviews :Jocelyn Torrent, yaya122 (i brought this up so quick, so you can see it goes on with e/b), AllyR and WeasleyWeakness (that would have been too much an emmett reaction, wouldn't it?) .

To potterhead0013's question: There will definetly be BellaXAlice moments from now on, but if this is the final pairing, i really don't know. But at the moment it looks like it a lot don't you think?

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing. Not the characters, not the band shirts, not the songs mentioned...it's pretty simple really.

chapter 13 -emotions

Bella POV

The next morning I woke up at 5:15 -way too early for school , today even more so, since the first lesson was cancelled. I groaned, rolled to my side and tried to sleep again. After less than five minutes I realized that the situation was hopeless, I was tried but my body didn't want to sleep without the usual cold next to me. I stood up and realized that I would probably need at least a part of my extra time for finding clothes. I pulled three boxes out from under my bed and opened them. When I took all the different articles of clothing out and laid them separately on the floor I felt like I had been send back into my time before Forks. The item my eyes lingered on the longest time, was one that I had almost never worn in Phoenix, but was one of my favorites still -a black knee long leather coat that Renée had bought me as a reward for my first A in calculus. In Phoenix it had usually been to hot to wear it, but it fit perfectly the weather of an average summer-day in Forks. I decided to wear it immediately. In order to not completely shock the innocent students and teachers of Forks High I had decided to wear a light blue jeans to one of my shirts.-after all it was supposed to be an "everyday-goth-outfit" and not an "I scare you away". The trouble was only which shirt to choose. There were those tops that were out for obvious reason -on of them being my "Equal-opportunity-dater" shirt on which a cartoon girl was holding hands with a boy and a girl and said phrase under it- Others were just not fitting for school -corsages, see-throughs , things with lace and so on. In the end there were only four black band shirts left. One simply showed the logo of Evanescence, another one the heartagram from HIM with beige roses, the third was Nightwish -shirt and the last had a bold white print that said "Ain't nuthin' but as goth thing" it was my favorite Marilyn Manson shirt. In the end I decided on the Evanescence -shirt hoping that no one would ask too much questions about who that was. After showering and washing my hair I took my time making myself ready for school. It was the first time that Alice and all of my other friends would see me the way I used to be and I really wanted to not disappoint her, aehm them.

When I was finally done with straightening my hair and putting on kohl, mascara and a bit of eye shadow , I went downstairs only to see that I still had more than one and half an hour before math would begin. I was about to switch on the tv when I heard a knock on the door. I was wondering who would come to visit so early and when I opened the door I knew that the answer should have been obvious. Edward was standing there, looking rather shy.

"Morning Bella, how are you?" He asked awkwardly standing in the door.

"Morning, I've been better, I've been worse. I guess I'm okay. come in" I answered equally awkward.

"Bella, could we maybe talk?" He asked uncertain . "Maybe we should sit down" When those words left his lips and we walked over to the couch I was more certain than ever that he would break up with me . I sat down close to him, but not touching him. I didn't want to force myself onto him, nor be distant, I just didn't know what to do.

"Bella, I've thought about things and I realized that even though I'm hurt that you lied to me -you're still my Bella. I still love you. But I think I need time and I need to know a few things…if that's okay with you." He looked at me and I just nodded. I was happy that he still loved me, after all I just wanted to be loved.

"Do you still love me?"

"Edward, of course I do. I really love you." He smiled at that.

He cleared his throat before starting rather abruptly :"Has something bad happened to you , after your coming out, what I mean is.. aehm did someone .. I don't know. Jasper has this theory that you are used to bad reactions about you being..well you know.. bisexual. And I would really like to know if that's.." he stammered uncomfortably.

"It is true." I simply answered his first question. Then I gave Edward short summaries about what I had just told Alice hours ago. But unlike her he didn't want to know about details, didn't react angry about what had happened and he didn't try to comfort me. Maybe he didn't even notice how hard it was for me to speak about these things because I tried to keep my voice even. The only reaction he showed was a regular nod at my words and the flexing of a few muscles every now and then showed a bit of anger rising, but it was really little.

Had I told him that Mike had asked me out for a date his reactions would have been ten times stronger. When I was done talking we sat in silence for a few minutes, before he said:

" I'm sorry that happened to you. Simone should have protected you. She didn't. I promise I will always keep you save. Always. You are just really important to me"

I expected him to lay an arm around my shoulder at those words but he didn't. It was good that he didn't because the way he had talked about Simone, almost giving her the fault for everything and making it sound like she didn't care ,had made me quite a bit angry.

"I'm sorry I was away for so long I just ... I had to think things through..and.. I'm sorry"

"I know." I answered not ready to really forgive him yet." Is there another question? " I asked hoping the answer would be no , so that we could try to behave more natural, just be Bella and Edward again.

"Actually there are two more questions..If that's okay with you? Maybe you want to have breakfast first?"

"no, it's okay my stomach can wait."

"I know it's stupid of me to ask, but it's killing me ..that I don't know. Please don't hate me for this."

"Edward" I interrupted him " I don't think that I am capable of really hating you. Could you please just ask?"

"Well, I would like to know how far did you…your relationship ..go.." He drew in a deep unneeded breath before continuing to stutter " I mean…did you….well your physical relationship.." He trailed off unable to form the actual question.

"Do you want to know what happened between Sim and me or do you want to know if I'm a virgin?" I asked straightforwardly . Obviously he was stunned by me asking that and when he finally found his words again, there was so much blood in my head that I almost missed it.

"Both" he answered rather ashamed.

I thought about what to tell him. My anger screamed in my head to tell him to 'go fuck himself cuz the first was none of his buissness', why my calm and loving voice wanted to please him and thought about friendly and vague formulations to explain. In the end i listened to neither voice and just said what came to mind: "I am not going to tell you any details about the sex life Simone and I had, knowing that we had one is really all you need to know. I am not completely sure whether to define myself as a virgin or not. I think rather not., but that's my interpretation, it's not necessary right." He raised an inquisitive eyebrow at that, that really ennerved me, so I just continued without thinking but trying to keep the anger, embarrassment and bitterness out of my voice" I don't know what my physical 'status' is, but I could ask my gynecologist if you want me to. "I succedded only partially. 'Dare he say 'yes' than you finally see how stupid he's treating you' 'He's not stupid, he loves me and if this is important to him... we have to try ' 'He's going to leave us in the end , no matter what i do' the voices in my had were screaming at each other, making me crazy in the process.

Edward had noticed my anger and closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he spoke. "I didn't mean to make you angry, please forgive me for this rather rude question." He said in a formal voice.

"You asked, you got your answer. Could we please get to the last question. I still need to eat and drive to school. " I was rather annoyed now, but I tried my best to give Edward the answers that he needed. I just wanted to make us okay again, but I didn't want to be there while it happened.

"I'm sorry Edward, I don't mean to be like this. I want to make us work again, please believe me that." I tried to explain myself.

"I understand why you get angry, I'm really sorry. Especially about the last question. The next one is also very stupid, but I have to know… are you still in love with Simone? ...Because I talked to Carlisle and he thinks that if you still do this might support one of those theories and that could maybe mean that the other powers won't effect you two either..well as long as your relatively close…" He looked at me with expectant eyes.

Was I still in love with her? A good question. Yes. No. over and over again. But right now? Really, madly, deeply in love? With Simone? No.

I was about to answer when I suddenly realized what he had said exactly.. he had told Carlisle my secret, without even considering to ask me if it was okay. I just couldn't believe it.

"You told Carlisle? "I asked angrily.

"Bella, don't worry. He was really okay with it, he wasn't as obsessed with the idea as Emmett but, really…There's no need to worry. They are absolutely okay with it." He explained in a gentle and steady voice, trying to calm me. But what he said only enraged me more. "You told Carlisle and Emmett without ever considering how I feel about that.." I was standing in front of him now, almost screaming.

"Bella" He tried to calm me, somehow that made me angrier than anything,

I raised my right arm and screaming "DON'T 'BELLA' ME!" I slapped him hard in the face only to feel a strong pain shoot through my arm seconds later. I tried to take deep breaths and ignore the pain, but it didn't cease.

"Let me see that." Edward said, taking my hand into his, looking me into the eyes for permission. I would have slapped his hands away or withdrawn myself from his grip if his cool hands weren't making the pain so much more bearable at the moment. "I think , we should take you to Carlisle, you might have broken something".

I just nodded in response , slipped into my coat and went to the door grabbing a granola bar and my bag on the way out. Of course was Edward's Volvo parked only a few steps away and when I reached it, he already held the door open for me. As he started the car I tried to put one of my Cds into his player. When Edward noticed how I moved my left hand clumsily in front of his radio he took the cd out of my hand and started the music. It was a mixture of different metal ,rock and alternative bands. When the intro of Nightwish's 'bye, bye, beautiful' could be heard, Edward looked at me with a question in his eyes, only then did he notice my leather coat, shirt, dark eye shadow and kohl. It was different from what he was used to, no classical music, no Kelly Clarkson or Michelle Branch music, no 'happy' colored shirt, but a light version of the girl I once had been.

He didn't say anything though and when "call me when you're sober" was about to get to its first refrain , we had already arrived and stopped the car. I expected everyone to run outside or wait by the door for us- to see and help about my hand, -but no one was there. When I looked at Edward he just shrugged and said "They're upstairs, there's something about Alice."

Without waiting for further explanation I ran upstairs only to find the Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie standing in Alice room. The men were blocking my view at first and when I had finally come further into the room I couldn't breath. There was Alice -my usually so happy Alice, rolled into a tight ball on the floor, dry sobbing and not responding to anyone around her. The sight was breaking my heart.
"Edward, Thank god you're finally here. Can you , please, tell us what is going on? she won't talk and she barely responds to physical contact or speech. "Carlisle said, looking uncharacteristically shaken up.

Edward concentrated for a few secondy, than his face fell:

"She's blocking me, only repeating the alphabet in her mind."

"We should have known, but it was worth a try." Carlisle responded.

Suddenly Alice stopped rocking herself and looked at me. "You really look cool…. I absolutely like it…. And you're right ,no remover needed." Alice said referring to my make-up. Everyone starred at her then at me, shocked but very happy, that she finally spoke.

I sat myself onto the ground close to her and tried to ignore the questioningas well as the supporting glances. "What happened? " I asked softly, trying my best not to startle her.

"I'll … your hand needs to be looked after," she said carefully taking my right in between hers .

"It's okay. Right now we have to care about you." I answered thankful for the cold her hands offered.

"Please, get this hand bandaged, and then come back…alone." Her voice became very quiet at the end, as if she didn't want the others to know about her wish. But Esme and Rose were sitting close enough to still make the words out with their formidable hearing.

"Let's give Alice some room. And she's right Bella, we really need to take a look at your hand. "Esme said, standing up and urging everyone out of the bedroom.

"Yes, Edward can you take Bella into my study. I will just go get my bag, okay?"

"Would you like some breakfast, my dear" Esme asked, looking into my direction.

"A sandwich would be nice."

"Then I'll be in the kitchen" She went downstairs while Edward showed my to Carlisle's study, where we found out that I had not managed to break any bones, but I had sprained three fingers and they had to be bandaged for at least two weeks. Of course I was very sad to hear that for this period of time I would not be able to participate in any kinds of sports that involved balls or bats.

After Carlisle was done, I went directly into Alice room, only to see her sitting in the exact same position I had left her in on the floor. When she saw me move towards the bed however, she surprised me by standing up und sitting down on the bed as well. I waited for her to start talking and when I realized that she wouldn't I moved closer and put my arms around her. Alice let her face and upper boddy be pressed against my breast and shoulder and I started to brush my moveable fingers through her hair. My left hand rested on her belly and I started drawing calming circles into her skin within seconds. The way I held her reminded me so much of the way she had comforted me last night that I just had to copy her words as I leaned close to her ear "It's alright, Alice, you don't have to tell me what happened. If you want to…I'm with you…whatever happened ..however Jasper hurt you …I protect you, I promise." I whispered, very aware that at least two of the vampires were listening.

"You're going to protect me? ... I already see all the evil run the other way" She joked smilingly and in a voice only for me to hear. After listening to my heartbeat for a while longer she started to explain to me how Jasper had broken up with her, because she didn't feel as strongly about him as she once did. I could tell that she was leaving something out but I didn't push her. It was already hard enough for her. I hold her close to me for the whole time, only moving my left hand a bit up and down her side and her back to calm her. After she was done with explaining her face looked more like the Alice I know and less like the sad and lifeless horror mask that broke my heart an hour before.

After a few more moments Alice started to push down my side causing us both to move from a siting into a lying position. I still didn't loosen my hold around her and soon we were lying with her snuggled up in my embrace. I started to speak about Edward's questions and Alice agreed with my anger about them. She understood that I was furious about hearing that he'd told my secret, but tried to make me understand that Edward probably just needed someone to talk to and didn't mean to hurt my feelings. When I had talked everything over with her I felt a lot better and for the first time today really calm.

"We did this wrong. " Alice said after a while with discontent in her voice.

"What?" I was confused now.

"well, in the last few minutes I comforted you, so I should have been holding you." Alice explained.

"I really don't mind holding you. You're the heartbroken one, I'm just.. well angry."

"But that's not all." Alice whined.

"No?" I asked surprised.

" In my vision you promised to go shopping with me on Saturday. You know ..to cheer me up and get me to talk.." Alice trailed off.

"Well, I'm glad I got around it."

"Oh, come on, Please Bell? "Alice said moving herself so she had her knees now on either side of my hip and looked down on me.

I just shook my head.

"Oh come on, Bell ,it's going to be fun! please ?" She gave me her puppy eyes.

When I still wouldn't budge ,she leaned to my ear and whispered " I can make you give in."

I was very aware of her breast lightly pressing against mine as she said that and I didn't doubt her a second.

Still I didn't want to give up so easily. So I just said "No shopping" , waiting what would happen.

I didn't seen anything because she was moving too fast for my eyes, but just a moment later I felt her pin my hands together over my head into the mattress. When I felt her lean down again, my body became hyperaware of every part of us that touched. My pulse raced and my breathing became irregular as her cold lips moved only a hair's breadth away from my ear. "I will make you try on every dress money can buy in Seattle, if you don't go voluntarily."

"No you won't" I whispered , pronouncing very syllable very distinct. This time Alice did not start to rise her upper body again but stayed down, slowly moving her face to my lips.

I thought my heart was going to explode when I realized that she was about to kiss me. I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on the feeling of her lips.. and just when I thought they had brushed lightly against my, I heard the door fly open and felt Alice pull away immediately.

so guys who is standing there? Who would you like to be there? ( I haven't really decided yet, so if you can give me a good reason why it has to be for example Embry (okay that's kinda unrealistic, but hey) , I'm going to choose him). let me know what you think of this chappie, plz!