1st October 2014

Things are going wonderful, and that makes me very frightened.

Ever since I was a young girl, when things have been smooth sailing for any extended length of time, it usually means that I'm about to hit a rough patch. A bump in the road. I try hard not to think that way and keep optimistic but I just can't seem to escape the niggling feeling in the back of my mind.

Today is the weekend which I'm very excited about. Alison hasn't been well and so I've been doing extra shifts at the bakery. I don't mind, it's just I'm not used to the responsibility and I know that Lily misses our time together. Like I do. Today however, she's extremely happy because she's going to be spending the day with Christian alone for the first time. I'm not exactly sure what he has in store for her but I know she'll have a great time. He's so good with her. I on the other hand am off to the spa for the day with Kate which I'm looking forward to hugely. Massages, sauna's, cocktails and girly gossip is exactly the medicine I need right now. I'm going at 11 and it's around 8:30 am now. Lily is eating her breakfast in the lounge while watching a Barbie movie and I'm getting her bag ready for the day. Change of clothes x 2? Check. PJ's? Pacifier just in case? Check. Sippy Cup? Check. Toys? She needs a lot of things but I'll be back at six, in time for dinner. We'll be having dinner at Christian's and then staying the night which she's also thrilled about.

I go to check on her and she snuggles up close to me.

"Excited for today?" I ask her.

She nods.

"What do you think you're going to do with Christian?"

"PLAY!" She shouts.

I chuckle.

"Yeah, I think you'll do lots of playing. Do you think he might take you anywhere special?"

She looks at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah." She agrees.

I nod. "I do to. I think he'll take you somewhere very special."

Christian arrives at half ten to pick up Lily. He's dressed casual in a navy-blue polo top and jeans. He looks divine and I just want to –

Later Ana, later I tell myself.

"How are my two favourite girls?" He asks as Lily runs to him and he lifts her up.

He leans in for a kiss and I kiss him for just a little bit too long. "Were wonderful aren't we Lily?" I say.

"YEAH!"

"Yes you are," he agrees.

I hand him Lily's bag and he leans into kiss me again. "I have a surprise for you later," he whispers. "Have a wonderful time honey."

I'm melting just a little at his sultry voice.

"You too. Look after my angel. Don't forget her pacifier if she wants to nap and she has 2 parts juice three parts water and -"

He cuts me off, smiling and nodding. "I get it. She's my angel now too."

I don't think I've ever smiled so wide in my life.

I meet Kate at the spa for 11. I have my bikini on underneath and when I'm undressed, I snap a picture of myself in it in the locker room to Christian. He messages me back 4 of the eye heart emoji's.

"Come on," Kate interrupts, grabbing me by the arm. "Enough of lover boy. We're having a girls day."

I roll my eyes and follow her into the pool room.

After a few laps of swimming we find ourselves in a hot Jacuzzi, neck deep in warm bubbles and sipping Margaritas.

"I'd forgot how much I loved swimming," Kate comments. "Do you remember when we used to go all the time when we were little?"

"I do."

A flashback to nine-year-old Kate and I swimming as her mother looked over at us comes to me. Marianne Kavanagh was always more of a mother to me than my own ever was.

"Tell me about Christian," Kate interrupts, snapping me out of memory lane.

"What do you want to know?"

"How things are," she rolls her eyes. "You left Lily with him today. Things must be getting pretty serious huh?"

I melt back into the bubbles, eyes closed and smile fondly at my wonderful boyfriend.

"Yeah. I think they are. He's so good to us you know? I couldn't have asked for anyone better."

I open my eyes to see her nodding.

"I just want to make sure. How much do you know about him?"

I sigh, I knew we'd get to this part eventually.

"I know enough." I tell her.

She shrugs and does that thing with her eyes. The judgy thing. "I'm just saying, I don't want you to get hurt. I just want to make sure you know all you need to know. Men can hide a lot of secrets."

I don't comment preferring to retreat into my bubble paradise.

After our time in the pool and Jacuzzi, we have a quick shower and move to the sauna to dry off. The heat melts into my bones, cleansing my pores and removing all of the toxins. It feels amazing.

"This is just what I need," Kate sighs, lying down across the seat.

We are currently the only two occupying the smallish sauna chamber and are a little disappointed when we hear two more people come in. It's a man and a woman. We're forced to budge over.

I close my eyes again, trying to block them out and focus on the heat but a familiar voice sends chills down my spine.

"Ana?"

My eyes immediately snap open and I'm looking straight at a person I'd hoped I'd never see again.

Harry.

Kate sits up slowly and then the dark-haired girl drapes her long leg over his. She's small and thin with long curly hair and caramel brown skin. I laugh to myself. Petty. I left that part of myself back in high school, long ago, where it belonged.

"Ana, it's good to see you," he smiles.

He hasn't changed much. A little taller, filled out a little more, but otherwise the same.

"I can't say the same for you unfortunately." I reply.

He laughs. "Don't be like that. We've all moved on, haven't we? This is my girlfriend, Jess." He looks at Kate next. "Katherine? Is that you?"

She glares at him.

"Go to hell Harry."

She stands up and grabs my arm. "Come on Ana."

"Wait!" He exclaims.

I turn around and look him dead in the eye. "What do you want from me?"

"I'm back in town," he shrugs. "Moved back in with my parents for a while until we get our own place." He puts his arm around Jess and she rubs his thigh. It's quite sickening.

"I wanted to see my daughter."

My throat feels like it's about to close up. I can't speak. Before I get a word out Kate is in front of him.

"You stay the hell away from her," she threatens. "You lost that right a long time ago when you left, you fucking scumbag. Go anywhere near Ana or Lily and you'll have me to answer to." Her voice is menacing. Angry Kate really is a force to be reckoned with.

She pulls me toward the door and we leave.

I feel numb as we're driving home.

"I mean it Ana. He won't come near you."

I can't speak. He's just so horrible. He left me, pregnant and alone, and comes waltzing back into town with a new girl in tow. What kind of person does that? What if he tries to take my daughter away? The tears fall and Kate drives faster until were at Christian's. At his doorstep, I'm forced to blink them away. Lily can't see me crying. Christian opens the door with a huge smile but stops when he sees my face.

"Ana?" He says alarmed.

I can't help it, or hold it. I collapse into his arms crying.

Lily is in Christian's room napping, thank goodness. We both tell Christian about Harry and his motives and when I'm finished, he lifts my face into his hands and wipes the tears away.

"He won't touch you or Lily," he promises and there's just something in his voice that soothes and comforts me. When I'm in his arms I feel like nothing can hurt me.

I nod, leaning into him. He strokes my hair and I feel safe.

It's night time now. Kate left, we had dinner and played with Lily before we put her to bed. Christian and I are now currently lying on the sofa, my head is in his lap and a mindless romance movie is playing in the background.

"How you feeling?" He asks softly.

I take a beat. "I'm okay."

He takes my hand and presses a kiss there. "Good."

"I just can't believe he's back," I say, more to myself than anything.

"Everything will be fine," he assures me.

"How about you?" I ask, trying to loosen things up. "Any crazy exes on the loose?"

He says nothing for a second and when he does it's a short reply. "None to speak of. Did you want a snack or anything?"

I shake my head. He's avoiding and I think back to what Kate said earlier on today. I sit up and turn to face him.

"You can talk to me," I say, leaning up to stroke his face. "I want to know about you Christian.

"You do know about me."

I withdraw my hand. "Limited things. Why won't you ever tell me about your past girlfriends? Or your past in general actually?"

"What's going on?" He asks, concerned. "Did Harry say something?"

I stand up, feeling my anger rising.

"How is this about Harry?" I ask confused. "This is about you Christian. About us. About how you don't tell me anything or that you refuse to open up and let me in."

He stands up too, all traces of smiles gone. "There's just some things that don't need to be told Ana. Things you'd be better off not knowing."

"That should be my decision Christian. I should get to choose what I want to know."

He just stares at me, his eyes penetrating me deeply. After a few long seconds of our personal staring contest I realise he's not going to say anything more. I nod at him.

"Okay, I understand. You know what? I think I should get going home."

"Ana, you're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" The question hangs in the air.

I leave the room but he doesn't try to stop me.

Duh duh duh. First couples fight. Tell me what you think & please please review xox