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Chapter 14: Saving Grace
Grace means that life is once again united with life, self is reconciled with self. Grace means accepting the abandoned one. Grace transforms fate into a meaningful vocation. It transforms guilt to trust and courage. The word grace has something triumphant in it.
The pair lay on the blanket under the starry Tree Hill sky. Nathan's right hand rested on Haley's hip while her head lay on his chest.
"Were you going to tell me about my father?"
The brunette sighed and her body moved under his touch. She hadn't spoken much on the drive over. They had been laying on the ground under the tree overlooking the water at his spot, which had become their spot since the night he brought her here. They had lay in long periods of silence.
When Nathan asked her what had happened he saw a flash of fear in her eyes. He softly asked her again and she told him Dan was responsible for the bruise. He had pulled her into an embrace and asked for her to come with him. He remained as calm as he could about the incident. His first instinct had been to run off and find his father, but having Haley so close, he knew he needed to be with her. Confronting his father could wait.
Nathan lifted up her hand up and brought it to eye view to see the bruise in the moonlight. He carefully ran his thumb over it then moved her hand to his lips, tenderly kissing the purplish mark.
Haley snuggled closer to him. She wanted to be near him despite his earlier request. Although she was sure him admitting he was a jerk was his way of apologizing to her.
"I can't … I can't believe he did this." Nathan's heart ached. The purple mark was exactly why he had to protect her. However, he didn't honestly think his father would lay a finger on her. Dan had only made remarks here and there to Peyton. His tone would be harsh and he would be angry, but never had he made a move to hurt Peyton. He closed his eyes wishing he could take back his father's actions. Dan had reached his breaking point. Haley's bruised wrist made that evident.
Haley sat up and he felt the warmth leave his side. His eyes fluttered open and he reached up to caress her cheek.
"I'm so sorry." His voice cracked and she closed her eyes trying to keep her emotions in check. She didn't know if she would've told him. She hadn't thought about it. Her first concern was not wanting to cause a scene for his sake. Besides he told her he was done so she didn't think she'd get a chance to tell him.
She leaned into his touch and opened her eyes to meet his dreamy gaze. "He was so upset." Pain flashed in his baby blue eyes and her chest tightened as if she couldn't breathe.
Nathan sat up and brought her back flush against his chest, situating her body between his legs. He moved her hair off her right shoulder and rested his chin on it. He took a deep breath and smelled the lavender vanilla that always lingered from what he guessed was her body wash. He got lost, sighing he planted a lingering kiss in the crook of her neck.
Her body fell deeper into his at the action. She longed for him to kiss her. She felt his warm breath leave her neck and the cool air made her skin cooler at the wet spot he left behind.
"He's lost his mind," he muttered as he pressed his nose against her neck right under her jaw, nuzzling her.
"Has he always drank?" Her voice was soft and low as she began to lose herself in his closeness. All she could concentrate on was the heat that radiated off their bodies and his touch.
He groaned at her question. He picked up his head and again rested it on her shoulder. "I guess he started as a social drinker, but over the past year he's been drinking more. I noticed when my mother told him she quit her job he began drinking more."
Haley brought her right hand up to his cheek and gently ran her fingertips across it trying to soothe him. She heard the sadness in his voice and all he wanted to do was replace it with joy.
"I don't know." She felt him shrug. "I don't know what the hell is going on between my parents." He grabbed her hand off his cheek and kissed her palm before lacing his fingers with hers. Silence fell around them and both savored it.
Haley's heart raced. She wasn't sure what emotion she was experiencing. It scared her though. The unknown scared her. She never felt such a strong emotion. She wondered if Nathan felt it too. If he did, could he explain it?
Nathan kissed her temple, lingering for a second. He wondered if she could hear the loud pounding in his chest. He didn't know what he was feeling. He just knew it wasn't normal, at least not for him.
"There's a comfortable stillness," he said breaking the quiet atmosphere.
"Good or bad?"
He smiled at her question. "Good, definitely good." Haley in turn smiled and felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She had never blushed so much in her entire life as she had in Nathan's presence.
Once again silence surrounded them.
"We used to spend summers here," the dark-haired boy said shifting slightly. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Believe it or not, we used to be a family."
Haley pulled out of his arms and turned her entire body to face him.
He dropped his head in shame as if admitting they were a family was something to be embarrassed by. The embarrassment came at the fact that they no longer were a family.
"Hey," she said lifting up his head so she could look into his eyes. "Tell me about it. Was it good or bad?" she smiled as she asked him the same question as before only this time in reference to his summers.
He smiled. "Oddly enough good. We … we would grill almost every night and sit down as a family. We actually talked. Yeah my father was just as obsessed with basketball then as he is now, but we communicated. It's sad," he paused staring at her beauty under the moonlight. She was breathtaking and watching as she listened to him made his heart swell. He never had this before. He never had someone who cared. She likes you, again Lucas' admission popped into his head.
"What's sad?" she asked softly breaking him out of his thoughts.
"It's sad that we are three, no longer one. I just … I just don't know what happened."
Haley nodded at a loss for words. Her family wasn't normal per se but they were a family. They would sit down for dinner every night especially when the house was full of James children. They'd take family vacations and they could talk to one another with no judgment.
Nathan stood up realizing it was late. She had parents who cared and he was sure she had a curfew.
"What are you doing?"
He extended his hand for her take. "You should go home. Come on," he said nodding toward the car. He studied her as she bit her bottom lip finally taking his hand.
Once she was on her feet he let go of her hand and bent down to pick up the blanket.
"What's wrong?" Nathan held the blanket in his left hand and placed his right hand on her shoulder.
"I can stay." He followed her gaze, which was on the beach houses behind them in the distance. She wanted to stay with him at the beach house. He shook his head no.
"Why not?" She rested her hand on his chest. His heart raced. He realized she could feel his rapid heartbeat and he took a step back. He still had no idea what he was feeling, and he didn't want her to know.
"Hales, please let me take you home." He began walking toward the cluster of rocks. He turned back to see her still standing there, staring out into the water. He sighed before walking back to her. "Haley," he whispered. She continued staring out into the water with her arms around her body. She looked adorable when she was upset, but more so since she wore his letterman jacket, which was oversized for her small frame.
"I want to stay with you."
"No, you don't. It's late and I don't want your parents wondering where you're at or Lucas for that matter." She turned around with confusion on her face. "I know you've been ignoring your phone this entire time. I felt your phone vibrate when we were sitting."
"Nathan," she dropped her arms and stepped closer to him. Before he realized it she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. He moaned as she traced his bottom lip with her tongue. He didn't want to touch her; no he couldn't touch her because she had to leave. They had to leave. He would lose control if he touched her. His right hand trembled as he lifted it wanting to put it on her back and press her closer to him as she deepened the kiss. His head screamed that this was so wrong, but his heart pounded in his chest so loud he could feel it pulsating in his ears.
He lost his resolve and discarded the blanket to the ground. He firmly grabbed her hips and pressed her body tight to him. She released his lips, both needing air. Her hazel eyes had darkened and her chest rose and fell rapidly as she tried to regain normal breathing. He trailed kisses down her neck finding her sweet spot he gently sucked on the sensitive skin and her head fell back offering him better access.
He mentally kicked himself for loosing control.
"Mmm … Nathan," she moaned.
He stopped his assault on her neck and quickly put distance between them. He ran his hand through his hair and tore his eyes away from her.
"Haley, please let me … let me take you home," he said with his back to her.
All these emotions swirled within her. She once again was impulsive and irrational. She touched her neck wondering if he left his mark. She lost all reason and threw caution to the wind. She liked Nathan Scott that much she admitted to Lucas, but something else brewed inside her.
"You'll have to hold my hand when we get to the rocks. I don't want to fall."
Nathan nodded finally looking at her.
"You don't need an excuse to hold my hand, Hales." She saw that trademark Nathan Scott smirk and rolled her eyes.
"I've missed that ego of yours." She took his hand in hers and followed him over the rocks heading toward the car.
As they approached the parking lot, he noticed the lights on in his beach house. He furrowed his brow. He opened the driver's side door and threw the blanket inside.
"Is something wrong?"
"I'm not sure." He locked the SUV and began walking up toward the house. Haley watched him for a second before following. She then realized what he had discovered.
"Your parents are here?" He shrugged as he continued the trek toward the house. Once they reached the house he surveyed the area.
"I can't believe my mom brought him here. "
Haley too looked around and recognized the car parked on the other side of Dan's.
"Karen's here." She nodded to her left then pointed showing him the car.
Now he was more confused. Both women had either come to hide out or Karen came to assist his mother with Dan.
"Check your phone," he said as he walked to the bottom of the stairs.
Haley pulled out her phone. Six messages and two missed calls all from Lucas. She read through the messages.
"She's here with your mother … and father."
She walked up beside him and he took ahold of her hand leading her up the stairs. He was afraid. He didn't know what he was walking into. He hoped nothing bad. He stopped before reaching the landing when he heard tires rolling over the gravel. Both turned over their shoulders.
"Lucas," the brunette said softly.
Lucas cut off the engine and turned off the lights. He stared at the pair taking in their small gesture. He shook his head still convinced Nathan had manipulated her. He couldn't shake the image he had of his brother. He once told Haley he was a spoiled brat and Peyton had just got caught in his bullshit. He removed the car keys and opened the door.
Nathan stepped down standing next to Haley. He wrapped his hand around her waist hugging her close to him. He was claiming her. He knew Lucas and her were just friends but he still felt the need to claim her as his.
The brunette felt the possessiveness from Nathan. She looked at him then back at Lucas before walking downstairs stopping in front of her best friend. Nathan felt anger stir within him and began walking up the stairs again. He looked over his shoulder.
"Take her home," he said.
"I'm here to help," Lucas responded causing Nathan to turn completely around. "Come on, Hales." He ushered Haley up the stairs and Nathan still hadn't moved much less said a word.
Once the friends reached the stair below him he spoke. "I told you I don't need your help. Take her home."
The brunette closed her eyes hearing the hurt in his voice. He was threatened by Lucas, but she didn't know why. How could she have missed that? She placed her hand on Nathan's chest.
"We're not going anywhere. Please let us come with you," she pleaded and Lucas rolled his eyes. Why the hell was she begging his brother? Lucas didn't care what Nathan said. His mother had called him and he wasn't leaving without seeing her and making sure everything was all right.
"Fine," he said linking his fingers with hers before once again leading the way.
The three of them stood on the front porch and Nathan turned the doorknob, opening the door.
"Lucas."
"Nathan."
Both mothers rose to their feet surprised to see their sons.
"Haley," Deb said making her way to the girl. "Are you all right?"
"No mom she's not all right and what the hell is going on?" Nathan held up Haley's hand showing his mother the mark Dan left behind.
"Nathan," Haley said softly embarrassed by his outburst.
"Wait," Lucas then picked up Haley's hand and examined her wrist. "What happened?" He searched her eyes. She didn't want to tell Lucas. She had already moved on from that moment and though she had a reminder of it, she didn't want to talk about it.
"Dan grabbed her," Nathan answered for the brunette.
"Now calm down, everyone. Keep your voices down." Deb looked back at Karen silently letting her know she needed help keeping the teenagers from yelling.
"Calm down?" Lucas said loudly in a harsh tone. "Dan laid his hands on Haley and you want me to calm down? That son of a bitch."
"Lucas Eugene Scott," Karen snapped. She finally approached her son. "You don't talk to Deb like that. We are trying to help."
"Karen," Deb placed her hand on Karen's forearm. "Karen it's really all right. The three of them have every right to be upset. Dan, he's … he's out of control. I shouldn't have let things get this far."
"Where is he?" Nathan began to look around the living room searching for signs of his father's presence. The wet bar hadn't been touched, but he noticed the hallway light was on. "He's here isn't he?" He leaned on the stair railing holding his gaze on the second floor.
Deb hesitantly touched her son's shoulder. "He's sleeping it off."
"Mom," Lucas said calmly hoping she could make him understand why Dan Scott wasn't behind bars for the night. "Make me understand why you would bring him here. He's dangerous."
The brunette had remained by the front door listening. She allowed reality to set in and she just listened to the four of them. She had nothing to say. When it came down to it, this matter only affected the two boys and the two women who had a connection to Dan Scott. She was just an innocent bystander.
"Let's all sit down so we can discuss this." Karen grabbed Lucas by the shoulder and nodded toward the couch for him to sit. "Haley." She wrapped her arm around the younger brunette's shoulder and walked her over to the couch.
"There's nothing either one of you can say that will make me understand why the hell my father is here and not in rehab or left alongside of the road! He's spiraling out of control. He is out of control and bringing him here isn't the answer," Nathan's voice remained loud and harsh as she spoke to both women. His mother was suppose to be his saving grace, instead he felt she was enabling his father more and more. Her last act only fueled his theory.
"He needs help, Deb and I agree that he needs help." The older brunette said as she took a seat in the chair facing Nathan. She watched as he hung his head and hissed. She knew he was upset and he had every right. Dan had done the unthinkable and didn't deserve the kindness of the two women in the room.
"Then get him help," Nathan said through gritted teeth, his fist clenched at his side. He would've punched the wall had it been close. Instead he banged his fist against the stair railing causing Haley to wince. She slowly got to her feet and approached the dark-haired boy. She smiled weakly at Deb as she left her son's side allowing Haley to try to get through to Nathan. She placed her left hand on his left shoulder and her right hand on his forearm while she leaned her head against his right shoulder.
"Nathan," she breathed out. His body was tense and the anger caused him to breath a little faster than normal. "Nathan come sit with me."
The dark-haired boy looked at her. He found peace in her eyes. He found an escape. He took her hand and walked over to the couch taking a seat.
Deb stood behind Karen's chair and cleared her throat. "I filed for divorce."
Nathan's hold on Haley's hand tightened and his eyes widened at his mother's confession.
"I'm divorcing Dan and tomorrow he's going to rehab. Karen helped me find a six-month program."
Lucas leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "That's it?" he asked briefly picking his head up.
"I don't understand," Nathan said. "Why now, mom? Why is it that you're ready now to walk away? He's been overbearing, manipulative and abusive for years. Why now?"
Deb took a deep breath as her eyes moved around the room. "It's time. I needed time. I had been so wrapped up in my work. When I decided to quit, I called my lawyer and had him draw up the divorce papers. Nathan, the night I returned, when you left your father and I fought and I told him if he wasn't going to change I was going to leave. He didn't believe me."
"Yet you kept Nathan in that house," Lucas said.
"Lucas Eugene Scott," Karen responded. "Don't you dare question Deb. This wasn't an easy decision. It never is."
"Karen," Deb placed her hand on her shoulder, "it's all right. Luke can speak his mind."
"That's it?" Nathan asked this time. "You think dad is just going to go to rehab for six months, give you the divorce and be out of our lives?" He let go of Haley's hand and stood up. He ran both hands through his hair in frustration.
"Do you think it's that easy?" Lucas questioned.
"No," Deb said softly. "This is the only chance we have though." She walked over and pulled her son into an embrace.
A tear rolled down Haley's face and she wiped it away. As she looked at the mother and son she noticed Nathan had finally let his emotions out. His body trembled as he began to cry. He wouldn't have broken down, not in front of Lucas, but at this moment he was so overcome with anger and relief he couldn't stop himself.
The dirty blonde walked over to his best friend and pulled her into an embrace. "It's going to be all right. I'm going to help him, Hales," he whispered into her ear. He felt her nod against his shoulder.
Nathan pulled back and looked up at his mother. "Tomorrow," his voice cracked, "tomorrow, you promise … you promise he'll be gone?"
Deb gently caressed her son's cheek as she nodded. Her heart broke. She blamed herself for allowing Dan to become the monster he had turned into. She would need to work hard to salvage her relationship with Nathan in Dan's absence.
The morning sunlight seeped into her room and she groaned as she rolled over on her side accidentally hitting the teenager in his chest. Her eyes fluttered open and the bed shifted.
"What time is it?" Nathan asked rubbing his eyes. It was late when he brought Haley home. Luckily her parents were gone for the weekend to visit her sister because he was exhausted and didn't want to stay at his house alone.
"It's eight. What time were Karen and your mom taking Dan?"
Nathan slowly sat up resting against the wall. He pulled Haley into his chest and kissed the top of her head.
"I don't know if they'll succeed at getting him to rehab." He traced his fingers up and down her side as they lay in silence. He didn't want to let her go, ever. If his mother couldn't get the divorce, he knew where he wanted to be — here.
The dark-haired man sat in the metal fold out chair with his head down. He would peer up to see the men and women take a seat around him. He clasped his hands together in front of him as he rested his elbows on his knees. He didn't think he belonged here.
"You're shaking," the woman to his left observed. She brought the Styrofoam cup of coffee to her lips and blew on it to cool it down before she took a drink. "That eventually stops."
He gave her a weak smile. He then rubbed the back of his next in an effort to release the tension. He only agreed to this because he believed he could convince his wife to take him back, if not this program might look good to a divorce judge.
"All right, everyone take a seat," a short, round man said as he entered the room and stood in the middle of the chairs. "We have some new people here so let's begin." He nodded at the dark-haired man to begin.
"I'm … I'm Dan Scott and I'm … I'm an alcoholic."