A/N: Hello and welcome to another chapter of Merlin and Arthur bashing. The first quote was suggested by Grank. ENJOY.

Chapter 14

MERLIN: "What hope is there without my magic?"

BALINOR: "Merlin, you are more than a son of you father. You are son of the earth, the sea, the sky, magic is the fabric of this world, and you were born of that magic. You are magic itself. You cannot lose what you are."

Merlin without magic?! I must admit that is a really funny image. Okay, maybe it's a little more than that. Can you imagine an old grumpy guy with a long white beard and a red pajama, who is jabbering words in an unknown language – but nothing more? That is the stereotype of a crazy old beggar. SAD.

In one of my previous chapters, we did already establish that Merlin's abilities as physician are quite … yeah, you know what I mean.

So the remaining rest of Merlin is a former farm boy and servant of Camelot. Sorry, there is a whole bunch of servants running around in Camelot. Somehow I've lost sight of … Sorry, what was the name? Merlin? Hmm, never heard of that guy. Is there anything special about him? Otherwise I cannot find a reason to remember such ridiculous name.

STOP! Did you read that? I've actually written it. Merlin is right. He is really useless without magic. Hallelujah! Such statement from me is really sensational.

Therefore, we must emphasize his statement to honor it properly. Merlin is lost among the people of Camelot – he is practically nothing WITHOUT MAGIC. What was the name of this BBC show about a naïve farm boy in a big city? "Lost in Camelot"

Okay, enough fun about the uselessness of Merlin – at least for now. After all, we have ghost-daddy to save and motivate him. Well, this is a little more than some ordinary motivational speech. You are the earth, the sky, magic and the world itself.

Do you want to know what I was thinking while reading this quote for the first time? OH SHIT! Not another guy to massage Merlin's ego.

Gaius, Kilgharrah, Alator, entire druid clans, …, and now daddy. Even Arthur, king of Camelot, would be jealous about so much support – or as I like to say bootlicking.

Let me try to summarize this. Merlin is a dragonlord that means commanding most powerful fire-spitting magical creatures. He is friend, protector and advisor of the Once and Future King meaning he has a lot of influence and non-magical power – not to forget access to a lot of money. He is Emrys the almighty, all powerful and immortal sorcerer and messiah meaning to have unlimited magical power and being sect leader. Did I miss something?

But now daddy is coming to add the last step on the career ladder. Merlin is earth, sky, sea and magic. There is nothing on the top. This is a formal declaration: MERLIN IS GOD.

Does anyone feel a little … err … uncomfortable about this.

But we will try to be fair and give him a chance.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the `Merlin god contest´!

Challenge 1 – Hurling lightning: Granted, the revenge of god- part is a copy-and-paste version of Zeus and so on, but he did it and nobody said that gods have to be creative.

Challenge 2 – Founding a new religion: That might be more tricky. At first you have to create your gods rules – ala Moses. Btw. did you realize that Merlin's outfit as Emrys in the last episode was `inspired´ by Moses in the Charlton Heston movie "The Ten Commandments".

Another issue might be that Merlin's `Ten Commandments´ consists of nothing more than one name – Arthur. His promised land of Albion isn't much better.

Sorry, Merlin I fear it will be end as an obscure underground sect.

Phew! However, we can hardly blame Merlin for having tiny problems with being fully grounded? Every daddy is proud of his son for graduating, marrying, etc. Nothing spectacular. Granted, but Balinor's claiming of his son being god himself is err … special. Isn't there such phrase about people like this? I guess it was something like this: "Modesty is very becoming, but you get on better without it."

Okay, I guess we can agree that daddy is … err … very proud of his son. Like father, like son. Hey, we did actually find another sense of community between Arthur and Merlin.

At the end, it's still one question (speculation is more correct) remaining. Let's assume daddy is right. Merlin is sky, earth, blah blah and magic himself. I know words like this sound very strange – especially from me. Nevertheless, being all this stuff might be a little complicated or even contradictory while focusing on one single person – Arthur.

Um, well, do you see any problems with being magic itself and saying things like "There can be no place for magic in Camelot." Please note we are talking about Camelot, the home of anti-magic stupidity.

Hmm, the only logical consequence is: "Fuck off Mr. Magic!" Somehow depressing, isn't it?

What did daddy say? "You cannot loose what you are." Might be true, but we want to be fair and honest. When was Merlin, I mean our Merlin the lovely servant-idiot from Camelot, actually himself – or as daddy says magic?

Is it just me or do all our chapters end with a question about Merlin's true identity?

"I have decided to use magic to heal my father." — Arthur

Well, well what do you think about this statement of our promised Once and Future King?

Doesn't it sound great? Magic is coming back to Camelot by the king himself. So the prophecy has finally become true. Hallelujah!?

Why are you sad? Isn't it true? MORGANA SMIRK!

Oh yeah, I like it when the proclaimed heroes tell everything that is needed to be said. Normally I have to exaggerate or twist things a little bit to illustrate the idiocy of the characters. But such moments are so much better. I know I'm known to be a bit nasty about the protagonists of the show, but today I can finally say it from the bottom of my heart: "Arthur is my hero – at least when he gives quotes like this."

Okay, let's come to the detailed discussion of Arthur's quote – word by word. "I have decided …" is always a good start for a king's speech. King's speech? Sounds familiar. Is it just a coincidence that one of Arthur's followers on the throne had a problem with making his decisions in public, too?

A king should not be ashamed of what he decides. Come on Arthur! Let everyone in Camelot know about your wisdom. Magic is back in Camelot PSST! It's a secret. But why?

Or maybe this isn't the most interesting question. The quote is from the episode `The wicked day´ and was said by Arthur to Agravaine. Yeah sure this guy is evil. But the interesting part here is that Arthur was previously running to Merlin to tell him – even ask – him about the use of magic. So the real question should be: Why is he not talking to his trusted knights or the love of his life? No, he is talking to his servant. Is there anybody else who sees a correlation?

At the beginning we had three royal Pendragons: Uther, Arthur, Morgana (although she didn't know it at this time). All of them had unlimited trust to their servants: Gaius, Merlin, Gwen.

And now let's have a look at the end. Royal Pendragons? No response. Of course they are all dead. Former servants? Sorry! It has to be her majesty and high advisors and friends of the queen.

Well, Merlin is meant to be a fairy tale, a fable with a simple good-and-evil plot. Now such kind of stories do always have some lesson at the end to teach small children what is good and wrong. Now, I might be wrong, but from my point of view the lesson would be: Do not trust anyone! SAD.

However, it's another coincidence that the consequences of using magic by the kings are quite … err… logical.

If a king decides that `the use´ of magic to produce an heir is requested and it works successfully the logic consequence must be that magic is evil. A war with genocide and the whole shebang is started. But if the king decides that `the use´ of magic is requested and it's not successful than magic is evil anyway. Of course, the war must continue. Does anyone understand this? No? Well, you are no king.

But we do already know that Arthur is not really happy about being compared to his father (see: chapter 1). So we have to look for differences. Indeed, we find something. As far as we know, Uther wanted to use magic only one time since it worked successfully and the Great Purge was started as consequence. This exception was to heal Morgana.

But Arthur is better than his father. He used magic twice. The first time was when he wanted to heal his father – and magic was evil. The second time was when Gwen had some issues with her personality and this magic lake-thing. Err… how shall we call this? Hmm, a lot of water and magic shall be used to change Gwen's thinking. Brainwashing.

However, one thing is quite clear. Arthur is definitely more eager to use magic than his father was. So we could call it a progress, couldn't we? Hmm, the consequences for magic are still the same.

But hey, we have to be fair. This is not meant to be an Arthur-bashing. So let's check what Arthur might say to explain this. It's especially important since we did already establish that the logic of kings is not so obvious to normal people like us.

Okay, what is Arthur's normal response when it comes to his relation with magic?

"You can't blame me for my father's sins." Yeah, we know this. But not here. Another try.

"I was young and inexperienced. I was desperate to prove myself to my men, to my...father." Okay, the father-story is as old as the hills. I'm just annoyed of this. But what is about the rest? "I was young and inexperienced." Hmm, sounds strangely familiar. It sounds like talking of these B-list celebrity: "I was young and needed the money." The only difference is that a porno doesn't kill people.

Phew! This isn't actually the outcome I have expected.

Nevertheless, we have to make a final conclusion. What do we think about Arthur's decision to use magic? Did you get a feeling of the promised Albion of free magic? Nope. Me too. There is nothing more than a bad taste. At the end, Arthur is probably right. He is going to use … It doesn't matter what as long as the king can use it – emphasizing the word `use´.

There are two questions remaining.

1) "Do you think Uther is going to thank you for healing him with magic?" Originally, this question was directed to Merlin, but it should be also directed to Arthur. Will daddy be proud of you?

2) "You are nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!" This is not actually a question, but it should be. It was said to Uther by Arthur himself, because of his attitude to use magic. Err… what was that about this phrase: "Don't throw bricks when you live in a glass house."

A/N: Next and final chapter will be a little later because I go for a holiday trip. See you soon.