.chosen.
-
When she opened the door, Komui was in the infirmary, waiting for her. He raised a brow at her bedraggled appearance- twigs and leaves in her hair, ripped clothes, streaks of blood and dirt all over her body, dripping wet from the rain, and limping like her life depended on it.
"Should I even ask?"
"No," she grumbled. "But you might want to send someone to repair that broken window in the library."
Komui gaped at her for a bit, before squeezing his eyes shut and massaging his temples. "You're right, I shouldn't ask about that," he muttered, before opening his eyes to look at her again. "I need to talk to you. Have you heard about Allen and Lenalee's latest mission?"
Evans nodded.
"It's been reported to the Grand Generals," he continued. "They're worried, as well. They think that the Earl may be moving up his plans, but we still have no inkling of what they are. The Grand Generals will be summoning the Generals back for a meeting, and they requested for you to sit in. I'll call for you when the Generals all arrive."
Evans grimaced. "Does that mean I'm supposed to mope around every day until they come back? I don't get to go on missions?"
Komui sighed. "Evans," he stressed. "You don't understand the importance of your safety, do you? We can't afford for anything to happen to you."
Evans slumped onto a nearby bed. "All this waiting," she murmured. "It's killing me."
Unexpectedly, Komui sat down beside her. "I know." When she turned dull eyes to him, he rubbed his own tired eyes. "We all want this war to be over, Evans. I want all of you to be safe. I want to not have to worry for Lenalee every minute of the day." He turned his head to look down at her beside him, and his eyes softened. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable. How could his heart not go out to her?
"I know you feel restless here, not being able to help out on missions. But that's no reason to feel useless as well. You're doing us the greatest favour by just being here; by being safe."
She began to protest, but he cut her off soothingly. "Please be patient, Evans." He caught the line of her gaze, and stared into her blue eyes earnestly. "I swear, everything will be okay."
She stared at him doubtfully, and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, fine, everything will be over. For better or worse. That's what you want, isn't it?"
She chose not to reply, instead concentrating on how her fingers contrasted against the white of the sheets.
"Evans..." Komui hesitate, before continuing. "I know you're going to feel like there's nothing else to do but train, being left out of missions, but I don't want you to do that all day either. If you like...." he wavered once more, "if you like, you could help out here, in the infirmary. You heard the Head Nurse earlier, didn't you? They're shorthanded at the moment. And your medical knowledge- it can be put to good use here..."
"No." Her face changed entirely- colder, haughtier- and she pulled herself up, ramrod straight. "Never." Icy fury was etched in every syllable, and Komui couldn't help but wish he'd never brought up the subject.
"Forget I said anything," he said quickly, soothingly- he didn't think she still held that much emotion over the past- but apparently, she did. She kept quiet, but he could see the struggle playing over her face. Finally, she shut her eyes, took a deep breath and opened them to reveal a clear, calm blue. Komui knew he should feel pleased about her superb control over her emotions- after all, it equated to better control over her Innocence- but somehow, he just felt hapless, and more than a little worried.
"Evans," he began, but she cut him off.
"Anything else you need to talk to me about?" she said composedly as she rose from the bed. "Otherwise, I'm going off to train."
"I know about yesterday."
She froze on the way to the door, before swivelling around slowly. "What about yesterday?"
"You nearly activated it, didn't you? The golems in the hall were still operational," Komui stated calmly. "I heard everything. Lavi was there too, right?"
She visibly paled. "I swear, I didn't mean to do it."
He smiled wryly. "Of all the times, which were the ones you did mean?"
Her eyes were wide, haunted, scared. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be," he added hastily. "I observed something from this episode... did you notice how quickly you recovered this time?"
She nodded.
"I have a hypothesis I'd like to test out, but I'm afraid I'll have to carry out some experiments on you..."
She couldn't help but smile humourlessly. "Are you actually trying to ask for my permission?" She looked at him dully. "I've said this many times, and I'll say it again if I have to- I am the Order's, Komui. My life belongs to you. Do with it what you wish. I don't particularly care."
He sighed. "Somehow, I'm that much less impressed, and that much more worried, especially when I know your motives behind that, Evans." He regarded her with a frown. "Leave the past be, Evans. You can't blame yourself forever."
"Yes, I can."
He tried to reason with her for the umpteenth time. "Like you said, Evans, you didn't mean it."
She looked at him, her eyes a vacuum of emptiness and hopelessness. "The body count doesn't change, Komui, whether I mean it or not." She stared down at her feet miserably.
Komui tried and failed to reshape his expression into one of forced nonchalance. "You're trying so hard for the guilt, it's not even funny. You're not healing, are you?" He peered closer at her wounds.
She shook her head. "Didn't use my Innocence much."
"Good girl. Shall I call the Head Nurse?"
"No need," she muttered brusquely. "I'll be fine."
Komui looked her over consideringly before standing up as well. He dusted off his white coat and offered a change of clothes to Evans. "Go get changed, Evans. You look like hell." He managed a weak imitation of a smile. "After that, it's time for your weekly synchro check," he said. "Hevlaska's waiting."
***
Komui had gotten waylaid by Reever mid-route, leaving Evans to troop down to Hevlaska on her own, with specific instructions to meet him in the hallway where he would explain the experiments he had in mind, and possibly, start right there and then. She punched in the elevator access code and waited patiently for the elevator to descend to the deepest depths of the Order.
The elevator settled with a thud; Evans, as was routine, immediately checked for the presence of the Grand Generals. All five of them were present, cloaked in their usual robes of shadows and darkness.
"Grand Generals," she said respectfully, inclining her head slightly. "Syrona Evans reporting."
A voice, thin and ghostly, yet authoritative at its core, issued a reply. "Syrona Evans. You may proceed."
She nodded in response, took a deep breath and turned around to face the white, massive creature looming over her. "Hevlaska," she murmured, and felt a genuine smile break out over her features.
Hevlaska regarded her fondly. "Long time no see, Evans."
"Same here."
"The usual?"
Evans nodded. Hevlaska reached out a long, pale arm and wrapped it around Evans' body, just under her arms, lifting her up into the air. She extended another long, thinner tendril and placed the very point of it to Evans' forehead. Immediately, a light of the purest white emanated from the point of contact. Evans, accustomed to the process, didn't flinch one bit as Hevlaska closed her eyes and sifted about her Innocence.
Finally, Hevlaska opened her eyes and broke contact. The light instantly dissipated, leaving the dimness of the chamber, illuminated only by Hevlaska. She gave a nod of approval. "Nice improvement, Evans."
Evans arched a brow. "Really?"
"Really," Hevlaska confirmed. "89 percent, 78 percent, 54 percent. Not bad, I would say."
Evans tried to hide a smile of satisfaction. "That's nice," she said vaguely.
Hevlaska looked her over amusedly. "Well, that's that. Is that all, or are you going to stay a while this time?"
Evans considered Hevlaska's proposition for a couple of seconds before smiling and folding her legs beneath her gracefully to sit on the floor. She tugged the gloves off her hands while Hevlaska raised a tendril up and waved it around, pondering what to do. As if she had come to a conclusion, she reached within herself. When the tendril re-emerged, its very end was curled around a crystal fragment, glowing green. She dropped the Innocence lightly onto Evans' outstretched palm.
As soon as it landed on her bare palm, though, the glow flickered, and Evans' eyes flashed in alarm. "This Innocence fragment has had an accommodator," she breathed, looking up at Hevlaska in shock. The latter gestured for her to continue, and so she did, though the alarm didn't fade. She closed her eyes, breathed in deeply, and focused on the crystal in her hands.
At first, she felt only the dim coolness of the crystal, and the awkward angles and corners of it.
Then, in her mind's eye, the darkness lifted, and she was hurtling through a space as black-and-white as any other, the accompanying tunnel vision making her lightheaded. Suddenly, with an abruptness that startled her, she found herself peering down the deepest canyon, its depths stretching beyond the wildest expectations. The darkness beckoning from its depths was inexorable; it was calling out to her in strange, anguished persuasions.
And then she found herself falling through an endless space, hurtling through the air at a speed too fast for her mind to register. The freezing air stung her hands, her ears, her eyes, but the darkness beneath her seemed as distant as ever. As she twisted in the air like a broken doll, she caught sight of a wonky crescent moon above in the dark night sky, tinged with a bloodiness that was at once furious and heartrending. She stretched her fingertips out to the moon, only barely managing to grasp a cool, fervent night wind that assaulted her senses, overloading them with regret, with rage, with sorrow, with grief, with betrayal.
And with the last emotion, she felt herself shudder in foreboding, right before a monstrous, skeletal claw grasped her around her middle, the accompanying wind howling ferociously. An agonized cry rang out- "I want to live!"; she dimly registered the fact that the voice was a low baritone, and that it wasn't hers. Another voice- high-pitched, innocent, feminine- sounded: "You'll come home, won't you, Father?" and before she knew it, she surfaced with a shuddery gasp.
Unknowingly, during the episode, she had rocked forward onto her knees, shivering violently.
"What," she managed to gasp out weakly, looking up at a solemn Hevlaska, "was that?"
Hevlaska averted her eyes. "That," she murmured, "belonged to an Exorcist." She paused, filling the chamber with silence and foreboding, before finally continuing, her smile etched with sadness. "His name was Suman Dark."
***
Her first step out the elevator was unsteady at best, and she nearly took a fall; her hands, flung out to catch the wall, were what saved her. Leaning heavily against the wall, shifting the point of contact to her shoulder, she took a long, hard look at her hands. They were still trembling, ever so slightly, and she buried her face in them.
The Fallen Ones... how come no one had ever thought to tell her about them? Everything Hevlaska had said shook her to the core. Offering themselves up to God, and yet having to be judged by their Innocence- Evans didn't know whether to condemn or to sympathize. She knew that Suman Dark deserved what he got; deserved his judgement- after all, he had betrayed his comrades; had led them to their deaths, all to save his worthless life. Yet... how could God be so unforgiving, so cruel? After all, Suman had served God, no matter how unwillingly; had put his life on the line several, several times. When it did matter, however, he succumbed. Hearing his punishment from Hevlaska had nearly caused her to dry-heave; it made her shudder to think of what would lie in wait for her at the end of it all.
What made everything worse was the talk the Grand Generals had given her afterwards.
-
Her voice was still shaky even after Hevlaska's explanation, and she made a bid to control it. "If there's nothing else, Grand Generals, I will take my leave."
The same voice that bade her to proceed earlier spoke up again. "Hold on."
It was smoothly continued by another, lower, but equally unsettling: "You have not been down here as often as before."
Yet another joined in: "We have new plans for you, Evans. You will soon have to report directly to us about your new training results regularly."
A fourth voice, feminine, sounded. "I presume Komui has told you about the meeting?"
When Evans nodded, the only Grand General yet to have spoken continued, his voice issuing out of his hooded robe: "Everything will be explaineded then. Our stand has changed, Syrona Evans. The Earl seems to have begun moving for real; so must we. We will require you to train longer, harder than you have ever done; we will need your utmost dedication. In return, the promise we made will be fulfilled. You will give your life like you wanted to, and we will use it to save the world. Can you give the Order that?"
She knew it wasn't a question; had known it in her bones the minute she stepped into the Order. God forbid she replied 'no' to that.
"Yes," she said clearly. "Absolutely."
-
She leaned her forehead to the cool surface of the wall, and shut her eyes. Redemption... did it really exist, for her?
"Evans!"
Not surprisingly, she recognised that voice. She pushed off from the wall and began walking rapidly in the opposite direction.
"Evans! Hey, wait up!"
She sped up, but a hand caught her arm from behind, and a certain redhead bobbed into view.
"Hey, why were you walking so fast?" Lavi complained.
She continued walking on determinedly, effectively dragging him along. "I thought you had a mission?"
"I had, but Bookman pulled me out. He had work for me to do."
His words made her pause. Lavi had pulled out, leaving Komui with one man short for the missions; yet, the Head Officer hadn't deigned to tell her when they were in the infirmary earlier. She felt a familiar feeling of helplessness bubble up within her, and her face hardened in an attempt to control it.
"And so, shouldn't you be doing Bookman's work right now?" she said coldly.
He smiled, not seeming to register her change in tone. "I've more or less finished. You wouldn't believe which part I'm left with."
She ignored him and kept walking.
"Come on, guess!"
Her face itched to contort itself into a scowl, but she resisted.
"Fine," he said calmly, such a drastic change from his previous mischievous demeanour that Evans couldn't help but lose the rhythm of her stride. "I'll tell you. The only part I'm left with is the part concerning you.
She shot him a sideways glance, but continued walking.
"And you know why I'm left with that part? It's because I don't know enough. Not to mention, Bookman won't let me complete it; he said he'll do it himself. Now, why is that, you think?"
"Shouldn't you be asking Bookman instead?" she answered shortly.
"To be perfectly honest," he confessed solemnly, "you're a lot easier to crack than Bookman."
His words made her pause momentarily, and wonder if she should take offense. She rubbed her eyes tiredly; allowed weakness to seep through. Lavi was being straightforward this time, in asking for information- no more pseudo-poker, no more mind games. Perhaps she should afford him the same respect. "I can't tell you, Lavi, and neither can anyone else who knows. We're bound by secrecy."
He frowned. "The way I see it," he pointed out, "I'm bound to know sooner or later. I'm Bookman's apprentice- the records will fall into my hands anyway."
"In this case," she explained tiredly, "it's going to be later, rather than sooner. I'm sure Bookman will let you in on everything once it's all over. Before then, however, it's not wise to let unnecessary people know."
He nodded sagely. "I knew that."
She flared her nose in irritation. "Then why the hell did you make me say all that?" she snapped. Honestly, she was genuinely trying to be nice and frank, but that insufferable Lavi...
"Thank you."
She felt her breath catch. "What?"
"I said, thank you. For being honest, and letting me know." He smiled warmly, making the green in his eye sparkle most becomingly.
"Oh." She didn't know how else to react- what on earth was Lavi trying to do? He completely threw her off guard- but out of the corner of her eye, she saw that they were nearing the hallway that she was supposed to go to. Lavi couldn't know that was her destination; she averted her eyes and walked right past it.
"I didn't expect you to be so straightforward," Lavi spoke up suddenly. "I thought you would try to change the subject, or give a vague answer. But you didn't."
She closed her eyes briefly. Shit. Now Lavi was going to think she had gone soft. She opened her eyes and allowed the ends of her lips to curve up into a sardonic smirk. "I thought someone said straightforward was the way to go?"
His eye bore into hers. "Did you get tired of hiding?"
She faltered. What did he mean? She had merely been trying to be nice, after all.
He changed tone abruptly. "Why?" he asked, so softly she felt her heart skip a beat.
Without knowing why, she bowed her head, not daring to look into his eye. "I don't know what you're talking about," she muttered resolutely.
She heard him sigh, and peeked out of the corner of her eye. He wore a look of frustration on his face. "Never mind," he said, and abruptly halted his footsteps, took her firmly by hand and proceeded to drag her off down another hallway.
"What-" she began to protest, but he shushed her with a glance over his shoulder. "I want to show you something," he told her. His expression left no room for argument, so she took a quick glimpse back at the hallway she was supposed to meet Komui in, shrugged her shoulders and allowed herself to be hauled off.
Her confusion grew with the distance they covered. The hallways Lavi was dragging her down were unfamiliar, and she had been pretty sure she had explored the most of the Order in the month or so she'd been here. They had twisted and turned in such a way that even though she struggled to remember the path they had taken, she had failed.
They turned down yet another hallway, and Evans squinted to make out details- the hallways seemed to get darker and darker the further they proceeded- and unconsciously, she began to hang back further, her peasant skirt swishing reluctantly about her legs. Her foot caught on an uneven bit of floor and she tripped, very nearly falling, save for Lavi's timely help- he'd tightened his grip on her hand. She tried not to blush, but he simply hurried along even faster, tugged her more urgently behind him.
Finally, they halted in front a set of ornate double doors, blindingly white in the gloom of the hallway. Evans cast Lavi a curious look; Lavi nodded in return, and pushed open the door. Instantly, light of the purest white blinded them both, and Evans threw an arm up in front of her in alarm. When the shock faded and her eyes adjusted to the light, however, she found the calm eyes of the Christ looking back at her, and her heart froze.
-
a/n: Aahhh... a little late, but better than never, I suppose.
I took the liberty of heaping loads of clues and some sort of foreshadowing in this chapter, so go right ahead and think your heart out, if you're so inclined. For the rest of you, I do hope this chapter hasn't disappointed- I kinda rushed it out, and am afraid that it shows X(
Also, I need your help in planning out the rest of the story. I've thought long and hard, and am now torn between 2 choices- 1) to stick closely with my original plot and leave little room for side-plots. The excitement and climax and whatnot will come sooner, and hard and fast, of course, but so will the end. Or 2) take a couple of detours to explore some of the side-plots (possibly including romance) that I've thought up. I'd very very much like your opinion regarding this, so if you have one, please tell me- it would be very much appreciated.
Can't forget to thank Yuuki Narumi, glon morski, little-L.A.M., espeon16 and Fallende. Much as I'd like to think I'm too cool to thank reviewers, you guys are just too awesome beyond words =D
Please continue to R&R, guys!