14. Loss

He twists in his sleep, reawakening the pain of the stitches in his side. He sucks in a sharp breath of air, clutching at the sheets until his knuckles turn white. She's gone from his side, half-awake, taking the jar of ointment in her hand and pushing back on his shoulder to make him face her.

She spreads the cream across the wound, setting down the jar before glancing at him. He takes her hand, holding it, running his thumb over her knuckles. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's fine." She kisses him, sitting on the edge of the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Better."

"I can try to make it heal quicker but it's deep." A sad smile graces her lips. She wishes she might make him better, it's what she always tries when he comes to her wounded. "I'm sorry, love."

"It's all right."

When Hel had come in, Arnbjorg chasing her, she had found him sitting by his desk, lazily flipping through a book of spells, one hand hovering over his side. Sigyn had been going through the jars, examining the contents, trying to find something that would speed up the healing process. Hel had bounded in before being slowed by Sigyn who caught her. "He's hurting, little one." She let Hel go. "Be careful."

"Are you okay?" She asks, coming up beside him, searching him for signs of injury.

"I'm quite fine." He kissed her forehead, smiling at her. "You shouldn't worry."

"Mama was worried."

"She shouldn't worry either." The smile remained. "I am perfectly fine."

He draws her closer to him, kissing her. "I will have to return."

She tenses, gray eyes searching his face. "What do you mean?"

"It's not over, Sigyn." He touches her cheek. "I'll have to go back."

She sits up, pulling away from his touch. "You're hurt terribly. You can't pretend to be well and go and end up coming back worse."

"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry."

"Someone has to worry, you don't." She looks into the darkness, sighing. "Is there a way you can avoid going?"

"No."

She closes her eyes, exhaling sharply. "I don't like you leaving."

"I know." He sits up, struggling past the soreness. "But I have to."

"Please don't."

"I promised you I would return and I will." He kisses her. "Do not worry. I will be safe and I will come back."

They leave when Thor decides. He is quiet when he leaves, hardly speaking to her but kneeling before Hel. "I promise I will come back." He touches her hair, glancing into matching green eyes. "And I need you to promise me something. Take care of Mother."

"Yes, Father. I promise."

"Good girl." He kisses her forehead before leaving. Hel does not hear what he says to Sigyn, the words coming too softly, her mother shaking her head. Then he is gone, off to find Thor and return to fight.

Hel watches her mother's lips tremble, how she brings her hand to her mouth. "He'll be all right Mama. He promised."

"I know, Hel." Her hand grasps at the girl's shoulder, squeezing it. "I know."

After setting up her marriage to Theoric, her father had been called away to battle, told to take up arms and fight for a cause that Odin had deemed necessary. He had left pleased to know that his daughter would be well cared for should anything happen, Theoric had gave his pledge to take care of Sigyn.

When they had returned with word of her father's death, Theoric had embraced her, promising her that she would be safe with him. She had abandoned Arnbjorg who had kept a vigil with her and gone to him, stumbling into his arms. She had cried, grieving and praying.

She tells Hel to go to Arnbjorg, leaving her to be alone.

He is putting his father ahead of her, he knows that and it hurts him. He's made an effort to always consider her first, to be mindful of what she needs, what she feels over what Odin demands. He took the risk when he married her, later when he agreed to keep the child, even when he saw the anger in his father's face.

Yet, he's ignored one of the things that hurts her the most, the fact that war takes more people than it makes heroes of. He has never promised that he would not go to war, he has only promised he would return, a promise he intended on keeping.

Thor glances at his brother as they prepare to travel. "Does something trouble you?"

"No." He keeps his chin up, face neutral. When they leave, when they are being throttled forward, she is the last thing he sees.

Hel watches her mother slip away, not sleeping, barely there. The queen comes whenever she can slip away, sitting across from her mother and talking to her. Often it's about Loki. But once, Frigga comes and sits across from her.

"It's to end soon. They'll be returning after a treaty is established." Frigga smiles at her daughter-in-law. "But another concern has arisen."

The calm that overtakes Sigyn's features becomes distorted. "Which is?"

"When the princes lives were in danger, when it became apparent that they could both be lost, a question arose about succession." Frigga's expression softens. "About the next heir, if both princes were lost." She sighs, touching Sigyn's arm. "An answer that falls on you, dear."