Hey guys, sorry I've been gone so long!!!! Life has been hectic. Hope you enjoy the new update, I'l try to get another done soon.
Chapter 13: Weak
Why?! Why did I have to take that phone call? Why do I put myself through such pain? To please her? Why in the world would anyone want to do that? Or maybe, it was to please him. He knows something I don't. He looked distraught when I denied the phone call, told him 'No, I won't talk to her.' I couldn't. It would hurt me too much to hear her voice, and know that she was the woman who lied to me my whole life. Who forgot about me, and sent me away. Who didn't want me. Who didn't love me. When I finally did take the phone from him, I promptly hung up on, and handed the phone right back to him. That simple action, somewhat made me feel good.. Knowing that I could deny her. My own mother. Who would have ever thought they would never want to hear their mother's voice again. Never see her again.. Never speak of her again. Charlie retaliated, and called her right back, making me talk to her. I let her do most of the talking, responding with only one word sentences, or an 'mhm'. She was so full of crap.. Acting like the caring mother type.. What bullshit.
I wasn't surprised when there was no I miss you. No I love you. Or maybe there would have been if I hadn't hung up so quickly. There had been a lump in my throat the whole time I was on the phone with Renee, and all I wanted was for Charlie to leave the room, so the tears welling in my eyes could spill over.. So I could hang up quickly. I darted out of the room before I even said goodbye, and let the phone fall to the floor. I couldn't tell if I was upset because I had to talk to her.. And be reminded of everything that has happened.. Or if I was upset because I found that I was still weak when it came to Renee.. And our past. I thought I was stronger.. Thought I was over it.. But the minute her name is mentioned I am struck with that sinking feeling.. That feeling of being so alone. Charlie had yelled after me, but I ignored his call. I needed to get out of there. I needed to let go. I swung the backdoor open, and as the cool air hit me in the face, the tears spilled over. Weak… It seems that will never change.
Running into him had probably been the best thing that could of happened. His very presence gives me this feeling.. Edward had to be the most magnificent creature to ever walk this earth. He was a beautiful person. He was kind, and so gentle. Though he can give the cruelest of stares, I've seen behind that. To an extent, anyways. He's very secretive, and I want nothing more to dive inside, and open him up. Though I didn't want him to see me crying.. I hated to show him weakness, that's all he ever saw. He saved my life.. Weak Bella caught in the freezing rain. Only an idiot would lock themselves out of their broken down car.. He saw me sick from the sight of blood.. That must have been amusing.. Since it was only a small prick to the finger. It's so pathetic.. My whole life is. He cared though, and I know he didn't believe me when I told him I was fine. I so badly, wanted him to walk me further to the house.. To come inside.. To just talk to me for hours, until I figured him out.
I found it quite odd that he made me promise not to go back into the woods alone.. When He, himself had been wandering the woods alone. Though, I do suppose being a strong guy, it's different. I wanted him to tell me what was wrong with the woods… I found it perfectly normal, like any other forest. Nothing dangerous for a normal person. Walking on a flat surface could be dangerous for someone like me. Some days it's like I have two left feet, others I'm not so clumsy. I never know what to expect. I did take his warning, and I will respect it.. He's lived her for a while, and I'm sure he knows what he's talking about.
As I walk inside, I see Charlie sitting at the table, and I look down, not wanting him to see my tear stained face. "Bella, I'm sorry.. I just-"
"It's fine.. I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it." I say, cutting him off.
"Bella.."
"Please.. Dad.. Just forget it." I plead with him, my voice cracking. Don't cry.. Not again. I tell myself.
"Alright, alright." He says, standing up. He walks over to me, and pulls me close. I embrace him in return, and press my face into his chest. It's been so long since I've been comforted like this. Even longer since I've been comforted by him. How I've gone so long without my dad, I don't know. I wish Renee had sent me away sooner. "I love you Bells." He whispers, and I feel my eyes water once again.
"I love you too."