The Princess With The Purple Heart

Fourteen

It takes a while to shake off being cock-blocked by the Taliban.

Heero, being the responsible and reliable soldier that he is, struggles with why he would even suggest something as stupid as getting drunk on base. It's not that Heero confides this in Duo, but Duo can tell by the way Heero stares at him when he thinks he doesn't notice – and how he avoids eye-contact as soon as Duo looks his way.

In the new silence between them, Duo has a lot of thoughts on his own.

Maybe it isn't a game. Maybe it isn't innocent. Maybe it isn't inconsequential.

Maybe something real is happening between the two of them.

And it is still happening, even when they can barely look at each other – maybe even more so.

Follander drops down next to Duo in the dirt. The unit is playing a game of football out in the clear, by the western wall, where they usually start their drills. Duo needed a breather and planted his ass in the sand. He has sipped on an entire bottle worth of water and is content to continue to watch the rest of the game, rather than join in. He is tired because he hasn't been sleeping well for the past few days, since the attack. He knows Heero isn't getting much sleep either, which is why he is looking a little sluggish out there, but he soldiers on; always unwilling to give into weakness.

"That was water, right?" Follander jokes, nodding at the empty bottle that Duo holds loosely.

"Yeah. Just water."

"You couldn't have known, man," the Private tries to ease his mind. "Give yourself a break."

"No, we couldn't have known," Duo agrees. "None of us know when the next attack is going to come. Which is exactly why it is such a spectacularly bad idea to get drunk." He shoots Follander a look. He doesn't blame the Private. Heero and he made their own decisions. But he never used to think much of the soldier's little trade on the side, until now. It's dangerous. He understands the impulse and the craving for a break from the tension and the stress that the war puts them under, and Follander shouldn't enable those unwise desires by offering booze to every soldier that could use a little pick-me-up.

Follander fiddles with his fingers, aware of the scrutiny he is under. He feels the need to defend himself, even though Duo hasn't said anything. "Dude, I'm just the supplier. Drink responsibly, that's what I always say." He tries a smile.

"There is no such thing as responsible drinking in a warzone."

The man releases a sigh and watches Heero chase Chapple down, who has the football clutched against his chest and is racing towards the far end of the field. The end-zone line is defined by two helmets on either side. "I was expecting this talk from Purple Heart."

"Heero's at war with himself right now," Duo says absentmindedly.

"Did you guys have a fight about it, or something?"

The Lance Corporal frowns. "No. Why?"

"You two have been acting weird."

"Not at all. We've just been… quiet."

Follander snorts. "Yeah, like I said: acting weird. Mister-and-Mister Siamese twins, joined at the hip, don't even sit next to each other in the Mess Hall anymore."

He shouldn't be surprised that the others are noticing Heero and he haven't been themselves. "We both just feel really guilty. We're all relying on each other out here."

"Which is why Medusa and I switched places with you guys. And you two still nailed those insurgents driving up. It all worked out."

"I'm grateful that you covered our asses, but it shouldn't be like that. What if something had happened to you or Medina out there and what if Heero and I couldn't make those shots?"

Follander gestures dismissively. "I ain't got time left to worry about the woulda-coulda-shoulda, on top of everything else going on around here. Shit is complicated enough right here, in the here-and-now."

That is true, Duo agrees wryly. "Who else still has some booze at the moment?"

"Look, I'll quit my little business, okay?" Follander promises. "We only have one month left on this tour anyway. But I won't be ratting anybody out, cuz I don't know what you are going to do to clear your conscience." He pats Duo's shoulder. "I'm protecting you from yourself, trust me. I'm not going to let you become a snitch out of sense of duty."

"I wouldn't rat anyone out," Duo argues, "just have a talk with them."

"Leave it be, Princess." Follander rejoins the game, tackling Lindsey to the ground. The young soldier protests: "I don't even have the ball, you asshole!" Everyone piles on top of the blond-haired youngster, rumbling with laughter. Except for Medina, who takes everything too seriously, including a game of football, and Heero, who visibly gets lost in his own thoughts again in the absence of a distraction.

They have an assignment after dinner: a short trip to a nearby village. It is what the Staff calls one of their "diplomatic missions". There are no leads or threats tracing back to the village, but a couple of the homes burned down yesterday – a common problem in the area, the shoddy electrical systems short-circuit all the time. They take two Humvees and a truck and hand out water and food, like they are on a humanitarian mission, to counteract the negative impression many of the locals have of the occupying military force. Hopes are to stop the area from radicalizing further.

It's still early in the evening when they arrive back at Camp Sharana and hit the showers.

Duo stands in between Lindsey and Chapple. Heero is against the opposite wall, with his back turned towards him. The unit banters back and forth as they always do and Duo can't help but get swept up by their juvenile sense of humor. It reminds him of that one year he was at college and joined a fraternity. College, as it turns out, wasn't for Duo. And neither was the fraternity, not really. They weren't a real brotherhood like the men that served together in the military, and that was all Duo ever wanted: to find a family for himself, one in which he could belong. Unlike the family he was born into. His father and grandfather had been soldiers themselves, but Duo never felt a bond with them. For them, the military was about structure and success – superiors versus subordinates – and they brought that mentality into their parenting.

For Duo, the military was about being part of something greater than yourself, not about chasing your own ambitions. He wants equals, not underlings. There are no equals when you spend your entire career struggling to get to the top, leaving friends behind in warzones as you take up your station at the Pentagon, like his father, or become Admiral of a ship, like his grandfather.

He wants to stay right here, in this time and place, surrounded by these people.

He throws a longing look over his shoulder at Heero, rinsing suds off his back.

Only one more month. What happens when tour ends? Duo doesn't want to leave things like this. He doesn't want to leave at all.

A few minutes later he picks a sink at the other end of the bath house, to brush his teeth.

Follander joins him on his right, fussing with his damp hair and making faces at himself as he compliments his own, "handsome" face, baiting the others into engaging him. Then he interjects, prodding Duo in the ribs to get his attention: "We're gonna watch a movie. Wanna join?"

"Which movie?" He asks with a mouth full of toothpaste.

"Who knows?" He chuckles. "We put all the DVD's in the wrong cases and then have Lindsey pick one."

"Yeah, sure." He bends forward and rinses out his mouth. Someone takes up the sink on his left and it's not until Duo straightens up that he notices it is Heero and it's the closest they've been in days, aside from sleeping only a few feet apart. They make eye-contact in the mirror.

"What about you, Purple Heart?"

"Hn?"

"Movie?"

Heero peels his gaze away from Duo's to look at the Private as he says: "No. I'm tired. I'm going to bed." Then he shoots Duo another look and Duo wants to think it means something – an invitation – but he can't be sure.

Duo is startled by Follander prodding him again.

"You ready? Let's go, man." The other guys were also waiting to head to the Rec Hall.

"Yep. Coming." He stuffs his things back into his toiletry bag and takes it with him, throwing one last, quizzical look over his shoulder at the Corporal, not knowing what to think. He doesn't want to embarrass himself and cause further tension by reading too much into something. So he errs on the side of caution and follows the group to the Rec Hall where he lets the others fight for the best spot on the couch as he already starts gathering plastic chairs around the television for himself and the rest of the guys who won't be able to claim a seat on the couch.

Ten minutes into the movie and he can't focus. He's not even aware of which movie is playing, in spite of the rumbling laughter that erupted at the title screen, indicating it's a very different kind of movie than the horror flick Lindsey thought he had chosen, based on the case.

He thinks about Heero and can't shake the thought that he might be waiting for him and that Duo is missing out on something a lot better than a dumb movie the guys keep talking through anyway. He sits slouched on the chair, with an arm draped over his stomach. He scratches thoughtlessly at his shirt, eliciting pleasant tingles in his body. He licks his lips and can still feel Heero's kiss there. He closes his eyes and enjoys the fantasy – only it's much better than just a fantasy; it's a memory. His other hand is resting on his thigh and he inches it higher, but not high enough, still aware that he is not alone.

"You asleep over there, brother?" Chapple probes.

Duo blinks his eyes open to find all of them staring at him. "No… sorry… Turns out I'm more wiped out that I thought I was." He smiles sheepishly and raises himself out of his seat. "I think I'd better crash."

"Yeah, go. Before we get stuck having to carry your sleeping ass to your bed."

"Go snore somewhere else, old man."

Duo laughs at them and stays just long enough to see them all return their attention to the movie. Then, he turns away and walks to his barrack. The door and shutters are closed, but he can tell that the lights are off inside – if they were on, he'd be able to see light coming through the cracks. His pace slows. Did he keep Heero waiting too long? Had he even been waiting at all? Feeling awkward and self-conscious, he considers going back to the Rec Hall, but he can't without drawing suspicion.

He opens the door as quietly as he can and he can see nothing. But then he hears movement and the light on the bedside table is switched on.

Heero sits up on the edge of Duo's cot. He had been lying there, in Duo's bed.

He had been waiting.

Duo's heartrate starts to thunder. He feels shy, all of a sudden, with Heero's piercing gaze on him. "… I wasn't sure if-…" He snaps his mouth shut as Heero gets up and closes the distance between them. The Japanese-American slams him back against the closed door and then leans his entire body into him and plants a kiss on his sealed lips. Duo doesn't even have time to respond because Heero pulls back again.

"I needed some time to think," Heero discloses.

"Oh?"

"… I've decided that I don't need to be drunk."

He swallows. "Oh."

"Do you-"

He cuts him off: "Definitely not." He circles his arms around Heero's slender waist and pulls him back against him. This time, they are both prepared for the kiss and their lips meet like long-time dance partners; knowing precisely how to move together. Heero locks his arms around Duo's shoulders and pushes himself up on the tips of his toes so Duo doesn't have to keep his head dipped down as far. But Duo has a better idea to put them on the same level. He lowers his hands to Heero's ass, squeezing them tightly and pulling him up from the ground while simultaneously spinning them around so he can secure Heero's raised body between the door and himself. The Corporal gasps into his mouth and reactively directs his legs around Duo's hips.

When Duo shifts his hips, it creates wonderful friction between them that has them both moaning.

Not until he is confident they have both had plenty of time to plunder each other's mouth, he walks backwards into the room, being mindful of his balance, since Heero is a bit heavier than the girls he is used to carrying like this and he gingerly sits down on his cot, with Heero in his lap. They take turns stripping off their shirts and pawing at each other's pecs and biceps before they scramble off the bed to take off their trousers and underwear as well.

They stand there, naked, looking at each other with apparent uncertainty about how to proceed. Duo feels a relief of tension when Heero lets out a sheepish chuckle and he offers a silly smile of his own.

"I should, probably, get on the bottom…" Heero says awkwardly, motioning at the narrow bed. "Missionary is probably easiest, right?"

"Uhh… yeah, I guess. Whatever you want."

Heero first arranges the sheets and then lies down on top of them, on his back. He takes a deep breath and can't meet Duo's gaze as he spreads his legs to make room for him. Duo doesn't know what to say that will put Heero – or himself – at ease, so he silently climbs on top of him and lays down between his parted thighs. When their erections meet, that awkwardness melts away and they kiss again.

Duo props the weight of his upper body up on one arm and with his other hand he strokes them together. He kisses Heero's face and neck before impatiently licking into his mouth again. Heero has one hand clasped around the back of Duo's neck and the other is moving gently up and down his side. The touch is almost ticklish, but it causes the most delicious shivers to run up and down his body.

"We should probably turn the light off. The guys think we're sleeping," Duo suggests. If they happen to walk between the barracks and see the light coming through the cracks, they might barge in intending to drag them back to the Rec Hall, if they aren't as tired as they both claimed to be.

Heero nods.

He reaches for the light and as he does, he spots a bottle of all-natural coconut lotion on the corner of the table, that Heero had obviously put there in preparation. Duo didn't know where he got it from or if it would even be suitable to use as lube, but he trusted Heero to have done his research.

After switching the light off, they are both blind in the darkness, but it only made every contact between their bodies more intense. They take their time, both apprehensive, but eventually Heero pulls his knees up to his chest and Duo gropes his surroundings until he finds the bottle. He pumps a good amount of it out onto his hand and spreads it over his cock.

"Use your fingers first," Heero breaths.

He trails his slick hand down the inside of Heero's thigh and searches for his opening. He is so worried about hurting the other than he doesn't even dare to press the first finger in until Heero encourages him. It's hot and tight, even around just one finger. He works it in and out until he feels the channel relax and then inserts a second digit to help stretch him.

"It's fine. It's fine. Just do it," Heero tells him in a hurried whisper.

He takes out his fingers and leans his hips forward, aiming his cock. He doesn't find the opening right away, but when he does, it takes some pressure to be able to push inside.

Heero lets out a long whine and Duo doesn't ask him if he's okay; he trusts his friend to tell him to stop if that's what he needs.

He slowly sinks his entire length into him. The channel is tightest the first few inches in and then becomes more accommodating – welcoming even.

"Ah! Oh…" Heero tenses up and scratches his fingernails along Duo's back.

Duo struggles to hold still when his entire body is urging him to move and suppressing that instinct causes every atom of his being to vibrate with pent-up energy. He thinks to distract him with a kiss but his lips land on an eyebrow as Heero holds his head tilted. He finds his way to his mouth and captures it in a kiss. Their tongues move sensually, but soon they both become impatient and it is Heero who breaks the kiss with a frustrated growl.

"Move. Please, move."

"Move as in 'get out' or-?"

"Move as in: fuck me. Ohh, God, fuck me," Heero groans.

He rocks his hips gingerly at first, drawing moans from the two of them. After thirteen months without sex, Duo was prepared for it being intense, but he wasn't ready for this. He has his mouth open and every breath is a sound of pleasure. Heero has his thighs clamped around his waist and his ankles locked behind the small of his back. Heero's hands brush through Duo's hair and graze down his neck and over his shoulders, leaving goosebumps and shivers everywhere they go. Sometimes, his fingers dig into his flesh and Duo marvels at how much stronger his partner is than anyone he has ever been with before. Heero's nails leave crescent shapes in his skin that sting even after his hands have restlessly relocated and Duo might find bruises in the morning, but he loves it. He loves the rawness: it's impolite and rough.

"Nnn… Ah!"

"Does it hurt?" Duo asks when Heero lets out a strangled cry.

"Yes."

"But does it feel good, also?"

"Yes. Yes!"

He leans down for another kiss, this time finding Heero's lips on the first try. It's too dark to see his lips or his eyes, but he can feel him; feel his body and his hot breath on his face. He feels one with him – there is no ending to one body and the beginning of another. They blend together. He has never felt more connected to anyone in his entire life. Their bodies uniting strengthens the bond that already tied them together. Duo is hesitant to conclude he's in love, because he has never even considered the possibility that he's gay and capable of falling in love with another man, but Heero has always been special to him – more than a brother, like the other guys – and the term "soulmate" springs to mind: beyond gender and sexual orientation.

It doesn't freak him out, it doesn't frighten him, instead it blankets him with a sense of calm and peace that makes the pleasure that much more pronounced.

Driven by lust and a need to make quick work of their orgasms, Duo sits up. He holds one of Heero's legs in the crook of his elbow and redirects the other over his shoulder. With more leverage in his seated position, he can add more power to his thrusts. In rhythm with their moans and gasps he can hear the wet sounds of his own length pounding into the slick channel and Heero's hand pumping up and down his own erection. The cot creaks dangerously under the rocking weight, but it holds.

There is a sharp, shocked intake of breath. Heero warns: "Duo, I'm gonna-…" He doesn't finish his sentence and lets out a cry instead and his intimate muscles tighten around Duo's cock, indicating his climax. He's always been silent during his release, but it seems he couldn't keep quiet this time. After the initial cry, he moans his way through it. The sounds are low and deep and the hottest thing Duo has ever heard.

He snaps his hips forcefully, chasing his own release, and it doesn't take long. He comes inside of the other man and for the first time since switching off the lights, he sees something – he sees white-hot stars.

Duo slips his cock out and collapses on top of him, and Heero's legs fall bonelessly out to the side. The stickiness between their stomachs is evidence of Heero's release. Duo has his nose nuzzled into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and breathes in the Corporal's sweat and the scent of the same shampoo that everyone on base uses, but somehow smells best on him.

There is no telling how much time has passed when Heero states gruffly: "You have to let me get up."

"Hmmm… Why?" He whines. He's perfectly content lying on top of him and Heero is a tough guy, he can handle a bit of weight on him.

"It's messy."

He grins sloppily and wiggles, feeling the slickness between them. "Yeah, it is." Still, he makes no more to get up. He kind of likes how messy it is. It's unapologetic and honest.

"Not just that… Your come is leaking out of me and onto your sheets."

Duo scrunches up his face. "Shit." Reluctantly, he disentangles himself from his lover and stands up on shaky feet, hoisting Heero up with him in one swift pull.

The light is flicked on and Duo squints at the unexpected brightness of it. He watches Heero get a washcloth that he had smuggled with him in his toiletry bag and pours some water from a bottle into it. He uses it to wipe himself clean and then lets Duo use the other side of it to clean himself off as well. Then, the washcloth is tossed into a corner and they wordlessly step into fresh underwear and Heero puts on one of the white night shirts as well, before crawling back into his own bed.

Duo sits down on the edge of his cot, resting his elbows on his knees. He stares at his friend unabashedly. He doesn't want to pretend that it didn't happen, like they always do after jerking off, so he says: "I really liked that."

Heero turns his head to meet his gaze. "I did too."

He wrings his hands together. He wants to say more and almost blurts out feelings that he hasn't even sorted out for himself yet. "It was better than it should have been."

Heero frowns.

"I mean… It was better than 'just sex'. Right?"

His friend swallows, then agrees with strained voice: "Yeah."

Duo smiles, feeling instantly lighter. A warmth spreads in his chest. "So… What does that mean?"

"… I don't know."

He chews on the inside of his cheek. He's not used to Heero not having the answers, but obviously they are both a bit shell shocked at the moment. What all started as the dumbest, most ill-advised interpretation of "exposure therapy", has evolved into something beyond what they were both expecting and prepared for. Duo can have sex – and enjoy sex – without feelings needing to be involved, but not that kind of sex, not that good.

Heero recognizes his conflicted expression and assures him with that deep, calm voice, that always has the power to steady Duo: "We'll figure it out after our tour is over. When we're back in the real world."

He nods in agreement, even if only because it gives him some time to think. Still, he's not looking forward to going back to "the real world" at all. He likes tour. He likes who he is on tour. He likes who he's with on tour.

Of course the most smutty chapter also ends up being the longest… :'D

There will be another small dose of smut after this and then we are going to continue our regularly scheduled programming with the angst and drama.