Authors Note: I do not own Star Trek, save for my own OC. Anything else I am not making money excreta you've heard it all before, and this is simply for shits and giggles. Enjoy!

A Whole Other Universe: Chapter Fourteen

The door closed with a small sound as the human progressed into the bedroom. I turned from my inspection of the common area to acknowledge her.

"Greetings Ms. Talbot, I trust your bath was satisfactory?" I quickly studied her form; her muscles no longer appeared to be tense and her posture and movement fluid.

"Yes Captain. Though I do have one question about the bathroom if I may?"

Her eyes quickly roamed over my features; a gesture I was not unaccustomed to. I was however curious to discover the inquiry behind the refreshing chamber. "Is it not to your liking?"

She shook her head horizontally in quick motions and her eyes widened. "No! No it's great; wonderful actually. I was just curious about the architectural design of the space." She paused as she moved across the bedroom to drop her clothing into a cleaning receptacle. As she sat down on the bed she began her questioning. "Are all Vulcan bathrooms in this similar style? Or was this one designed with a human in mind?" She folded her legs beneath her in a way that my Mother described once as 'cross-legged'.

I raised my eyebrow at her line of inquiries. "I am pleased to know you find the refreshing chamber to your liking. To address your questions, no. Vulcan refreshing chambers are not similar to your own. This specific one was designed for you; as such, human specifications were used." She moved her head vertically up then down twice in an unclear gesture. "Are there any crucial objects missing from the chamber?"

A small amount of damp hair managed to break free of its confines at the top of her skull and fell in front of her eyes. She brushed it up and away with the back of her hand, rotating her palm and fingers to put it back into place. "No. I was just curious about the look of the room." Her lips lifted up slightly as she leaned back onto her hands. "I'm assuming bathing in a large tub on a desert planet is inefficient and an illogical waste of water?"

"Indeed." She closed her eyes and tipped her head back towards her spine and let it rest there. "Did you find your meal palatable?"

Her head lifted again as she held my eyes with her own.

L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L

I stared at the Captain, his question was incredibly awkward. The timing and the delivery were both a little odd. "The Plomeek soup? Yes it was delicious. Though I must admit I am feeling slightly hungry again. My physiology requires a bit more than just soup and tea. No matter how delectable I found them both. Also, that was Earl Grey tea. Did the Enterprise send that over?" His posture seemed to relax ever so slightly with the flow of the conversation as he grabbed the desk chair and sat in it; his back never touching the seat behind him.

"That assumption is correct. Captain Kirk found it imperative that you have 'at least a little taste of Earth'. It is a strange phrase that I do not understand fully. Do the packages contain soil from your planet?"

I broke out into a toothy grin and laughed slightly, shaking my head. "No no. A little taste of Earth is a phrase that means having something physically grown or made on Earth or isn't replicated."

He tilted his head to the side and a small furrow made its home between his brows. "Why not just state that you would prefer to have grown tea rather than replicated? It is illogical to use idioms and turns of phrase as it is…"

"Yes I know. We humans are an incredibly illogical race with odd idioms and phrases that make no sense what so ever; especially when they are phrases that are hundreds of years old." I shrugged a little, "Sorry, we don't make much sense to ourselves most days. It makes life a bit more interesting with having colorful phrases."

The Captains face smoothed back over; once more becoming more like an impenetrable marble mask. "I see." He stood back up and placed the chair perfectly in alignment with the desk. "Regardless of any other illogical statements, you are still in need of more sustenance?"

"Yes please." He gave a curt dip of his head and walked out into the common area. I rolled my eyes and followed to find him standing in the center of the room.

"Would you prefer another Vulcan dish from the kitchens? Or would a human dish from the replicator in your dining area be more agreeable?" He said as he gestured towards another door branching off of the common area.

"I'll admit I am still very curious about Vulcan cuisine but I think right now I would prefer some food I would recognize."

He nodded again and walked towards the door that led to this new and mysterious room. "As you wish; if you will follow me, I shall show you how to operate the replicator. I have been notified that Federation replicators use an outdated and inefficient system." He walked through the door and into the dining area.

"Wow… Um this is amazing?"

"Is that a question?" He stopped halfway in the room, turning around to look at me. I hadn't made it more than two steps into the room and I was still blocking the door sensor.

I moved forward, hearing the door hiss shut behind me. The table in the dining room was a dark wood of some sort with six chairs; three on each side. Strangely enough, there were none at either head of the table. Looking down, the same dark tile was used for flooring. "No. Just a weird inflection. These rooms are very beautiful by the way. I can't thank you enough for the accommodations."

"Your thanks are unnecessary. You will be with us for an extended period of time therefore it is logical that you have an independent space on board that belongs to you." He turned back around and walked over to the replicator at the far end of the room. "If you have no more questions, I shall instruct you on how to use a Vulcan replicator."

S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S~S

She progressed further into the room; dragging the tips of her fingers over the top of the chairs. Illogical.

She stood a respectful distance away as I instructed her on how to operate the device. She raised an eyebrow at the replicator being in Vulcan.

"How am I going to order food if I can't read Vulcan?"

I began pulling up the interface of the program, adding the Standard language from the Vulcan data base into the replicator's language program. "I am currently adding Standard to the language program of the replicator. We have acquired all human cuisines before you came onboard and installed them in all replicators in public spaces and your own." She nodded her head and continued to watch me as I demonstrated how to access the human dishes.

"Alright. Seems simple enough. Do you mind if I give it a go to make sure I've got it?" She moved her arm in a sweeping motion towards the replicator.

"Of course. Applying new knowledge is logical." She moved forwards as I stepped back to offer her the space in front of the replicator.

Her eyes moved rapidly while her fingers quickly moved over the screen of the replicator; selecting a dish at an accelerated pace that I could not follow. "Did I do it right?"

"I do not understand. The replicator does not have directional controls." I looked towards Ms. Talbot, and her eyes began to light up.

"Alright; I'll play by your rules then."

"I did not state any rules that shoul…"

She reached forward with one pointer finger held up two inches in front of my mouth. "Shhh. I know. What I mean is; did I operate this correctly?" Her lips were quirked up to one side as she lowered her hand back to her side.

"I must ask you never to repeat that action on this vessel."

The light drained from her eyes and all oxygen left her lungs as she moved quickly away. "I'm so sorry. I didn't. I mean, did I do something culturally insensitive? Rude? Abrasive?" Her head turned to the left as she glanced down at the floor. A flash of white grabbing hold of her lower lip.

L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L~L

A small beep filled the silence as I waited for the Captain to speak. I could smell my food waiting for me and my stomach made its own vocalization. His eyes snapped down to the source and back up to mine.

Gesturing at the replicator, "You performed admirably. Please pick up your meal, I will explain while you take in sustenance."

I grabbed my plate and moved to the table; choosing the center chair with the Captain sitting opposite.

"As you know by your own deductions, Vulcan's are touch telepaths. The telekinetic receptors are stronger on our hands than anywhere else on our bodies." He stopped for a moment, mouth slightly open as if he didn't quite know what to say.

"Are Vulcan hands considered sexual in certain situations?"

"Indeed. It is very improper for one to display intimacies in public or with another Vulcan that is not their spouse."

I bit my lip and looked away. This is too awkward. "Sorry Captain. It won't happen again."

He nodded his head slowly once. "It is of no consequence. You cannot be expected to know what we have not told you."

I smiled a bit looking back down at my plate, choosing not to comment.

"Might I ask what it is you have chosen for your meal?" He asked inclining his head towards my dish.

"Sure. It's spaghetti with mushrooms in the sauce. It's one of the meals I enjoy the most."

He looked down towards my plate. "It appears complicated and has a high probability of a mess."

I picked up my fork, "That, is why you do this" twirling it in my hand, winding a few bits of pasta onto the fork. "See? Easy." I took my first bite of replicated pasta and promptly put the fork down. "Are you sure this is replicated? It doesn't taste like lightly flavored dust."

He straightened in his seat, "Does not all replicated sustenance taste like it is supposed to with your replicators?"

"No. That's why we usually object to replicated food so much. When this is over, can we somehow make a trade of some sorts? I sure once word gets out that you Vulcan's have amazing replicators; you'll make a fortune in trade." I made a go for my water, but his eyebrow had climbed his forehead yet again.

"Vulcan's do not strive for personal wealth. We still have no desire to become a part of the Federation; therefore any mentions of trade would be illogical."

Taking a sip of my water, I put my glass back down. "Alright, it was just a joke. No reason to jump down my throat." Muttering into my food.

"I did not 'jump down your throat' as you put it. As it is not physically possible."

"Oh my god, I can't do this." I stood up, took my plate and put it into the waste receptacle. Turning back around the Captain was already standing and moving towards me, a small crease in between his brows.

"I do not understand; was the food no longer satisfactory?"

"No. The food was fine. It's just that the interactions on this ship between you, your crew, and me are not going to go smoothly. I've already terrified your bridge crew and your head doctor. And don't say that Vulcan's aren't predisposed to emotions. I've heard it all before." I ran my hands over my face to my hair. "Perhaps it was a better idea to go with Shran."

"Illogical. You are far safer with us rather than with Commander Shran." He stepped closer, his right arm twitching up in an almost human gesture. "You have not 'terrified' any of my crew. We are Vulcan and you are Human. Until we gather more information on each of our species, I hypothesize that both the crew and yourself will be able to communicate effectively."

I gave a short laugh. "And how long, Captain, do you propose that this will take?"

He raised his eyebrow yet again, "I believe at our current course that it will approximately take one Earth week for us all to achieve effective communications."

"How? I haven't made any progress since I've come on board have I?"

"Negative. When you first arrived you were quick to be irrational and let your emotions control you. You spoke using human phrases and euphemisms. They are still prevalent in your vocabulary, and that is to be expected. At this time your speech patterns have changed to sound more like a Vulcan." He moved out of the way and dipped his head towards the door leading back out into the sitting room, "You have made great progress without instruction in a short amount of time; it is only logical to state that all interactions with the crew shall go well. You need only apply yourself to this task and it shall be accomplished."

By that point, we had moved into the sitting room and were standing a respectful four feet apart. "Thank you Captain. These reassurances mean much to me. I think I am going to go and follow Doctor Selamderen's advice and get some more rest." I shrugged, "Who knows, perhaps it will help with all of this."

"An illogical statement. It will be incredibly beneficial to your health. I shall return at 1330 to share the midday meal with you to discuss lessons in Vulcan and assign you a translator until you are capable of moving around the ship on your own. Good evening Ms. Talbot." He gave a short and formal bow before leaving the room.

I walked back to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the slightly too soft mattress before flopping backwards with my legs dangling. The Captain's words continued to spin in my mind; offering reassurance and comfort while dampening the doubt. "Perhaps this will go better than I thought."