Epilogue

Four years later…

It was a warm day in early September, but the cool breeze blowing in from the north still sent a shiver through her entire body. The air was quiet; the only sounds were that of the occasional car passing in the distance and the pensive melody of the birds as they flitted about in the trees overhead. It was the last word Calleigh thought she could ever use to describe this place, but now she couldn't deny that it was peaceful here.

Calleigh couldn't say she was completely there yet; after all, there were bad days every now and then, but they were becoming fewer and farther between. She wasn't there yet, but she was getting there. She was almost at peace again.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply; the scents of late summer playing upon her senses. Freshly mown grass mixed with the natural saltiness of the Miami air, and if Calleigh concentrated hard enough, she would swear she could sense his unique scent mixed within. But no longer did it reduce her to tears; instead, it brought a thoughtful smile to her face as no longer did it bring back the memories of his death, but she was able to see past that now; she could remember the good times. The best times.

She could remember him with a smile now. That was a far cry from where she'd been before.

As always, she sat with her legs curled beneath her on the grass, the fingers of one hand trailing over his name on the stone, the fingers on the other hand holding a single tulip. A smile played on her lips as her mind was transported back to a different time; to a time when it was just Tim and Calleigh. When it was only them; when feelings were straightforward and far less complicated.

No longer was she forced to relive her first night alone when she came here; instead, her mind filled with memories of other firsts. Their first kiss. Their first real date. The first time she realized what he did to her. Time had passed, and Calleigh could look on those memories and smile. She was still saddened, but the good seemed to outweigh the bad.

"Oh Tim," she whispered on a sigh, her fingers gently plucking at the petals of the tulip. "You should've been there this morning," she said, a small chuckle escaping her. "Samantha started preschool today. You were right, Tim. I didn't want to let her go." She laughed softly. "We got there this morning, and she saw all the other kids and she wanted to go play, and all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and run back home. I actually got back to the car and cried, Tim. Our little girl is growing up already."

Calleigh smiled, pushing her hair behind her ears. "I wish you could see her," she murmured. "She's beautiful. I swear, looking into her eyes is still just like looking into yours. She even does this thing when she doesn't believe what you're saying or something, and I swear, it's completely what you used to do." Calleigh chuckled. "She still has your stubbornness, and she's getting your sarcastic streak. It's hilarious. What I wouldn't give to see the two of you together…"

She closed her eyes, her lips upturned as her mind brought forth images of Tim and Samantha, not doing anything in particular, but just living. Knowing each other. "God, I'd give anything for her to know you," she whispered, a tiny giggle escaping with her voice. "She would've had you wrapped around her little finger. I just know that every time you took her out, you'd be coming home with at least half of the toy store." She laughed, visions of a living room full of toys coming to her mind, with Tim standing in the middle of it, a sheepish, 'I couldn't help it!' kind of smile on his face.

"You know, sometimes I still wonder where we'd be today had things gone differently. And I know I can't have it, and you know," she breathed out, nodding her head slightly, "I think I've come to terms with that. But what bothers me is that I can't see what could've been. Would we have been married? Would we even still be at CSI, or even in Miami?" She smiled. "Would we have had our little boy by now? Our little Owen Timothy?" She paused, giggling as their argument about names came back to her. "I know I made fun of it, but you know I'd have given in and let you give him your name, if we'd had a boy. I know I say this all the time, but you'd have been a great father. A great husband. You were just…amazing."

Closing her eyes again, Calleigh lowered her head, letting out a sigh as the unmistakable sound of soft footfalls grew closer behind her. She felt him stop behind her, and her lips curved into a smile as his hand fell gently on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. Still, Calleigh didn't open her eyes, choosing instead to revel in sensation. The soft grass beneath her. The quiet breeze blowing around her. The slight tickle of her hair against her cheek.

The feel of the hand on her shoulder, and knowing that the hand was connected to one of two arms that would always be there to catch her when she needed it. Calleigh knew that for a fact, because he had been right there at her lowest points. He was always there.

The past five years had been difficult, and before, Calleigh wouldn't have dared admit that. They'd been the hardest years of her life; falling in love, only to have it all ripped away from her, and forcing herself to face the world alone. And that had all been in the first two years.

After that, Calleigh had taken Alexx's suggestion seriously, and at perhaps her lowest point overall, she'd gone to the counselor that Alexx recommended. It took eight weeks of beating around the bush before Calleigh would finally let down her outer walls, but in one particularly difficult session, she'd finally broken down completely.

In that one emotionally draining session, everything had come out. The intense pain she still felt over losing Tim. The nights that she still woke up shaking from her dreams -- whether they were good or bad, they always reminded her that he was gone. The pain she felt every time she looked into her daughter's eyes. The anguish at knowing that her daughter would never know her father. The intense guilt that she felt over her growing feelings for Eric; as well as the guilt that came from not knowing if she really wanted them to go away or not.

And the pain hadn't stopped as she walked out of that office to go home. She'd been emotionally raw that night. The feelings she'd thought she'd pushed away had come back to her in full force, and it was to the point that it broke her even to look at Samantha. Not knowing what else to do, she'd called Eric, and he was at her door almost as soon as she'd hung up the phone.

It'd been the first night she'd truly opened up to Eric. It'd been the first time she'd revealed the depth of what she had with Tim to him, and she still wasn't sure if it was because she wanted to, or just because once she started talking to him, she couldn't stop. Either way, it'd ripped her apart all over again, and that night had been the first time that Eric had really, truly seen her cry. He'd seen her fight tears before; he'd seen her cry silent tears. But he'd never held her in his arms as her sobs wracked her body, her face buried in the crook of his neck. It broke his heart, and he held on tightly to her, honestly afraid to let go; afraid he'd lose her if he let go.

As her sobs quieted, in typical Calleigh fashion she murmured a quiet apology, ashamed for falling apart like that on him; even though his quiet, "shh, you're okay, Cal; you're okay. I'm here," coupled with the soft touch of his fingers over her back nearly sent her to tears again.

That day had been the turning point. Everything had spilled out into the open that night; there was nothing left to hide. It had been that night that she finally let go of the pain she'd been holding by herself for so long. It'd been the night she hit her lowest point, and there was nowhere to go from there but up.

And Eric had been right there beside her the entire time. He'd been ever patient with her, and that alone awed Calleigh. She knew she hadn't been the easiest person to deal with in the past few years. But still he was there, and now, Calleigh had no idea what she would do without him. He really was amazing.

Another gentle squeeze on her shoulder brought her away from her memories and back to the present, yet Calleigh still didn't open her eyes, not just yet. She reached forward, propping the tulip up against the stone, letting her fingers brush over his name in the process. With a sigh, she leaned back again, and only then did she open her eyes.

"You ready?" Eric asked softly from behind her, his hand dropping from her shoulder. "It's almost time to get Sammie from preschool," he added, his eyes drawn to the stone in front of her. The soft breeze blew over his face, and he closed his own eyes, feeling a shiver at the base of his spine. Opening his eyes again, he nodded slightly, his eyes more than conveying his silent message.

Don't worry about her, Speed.

Calleigh smiled to herself, fixing the stone in front of her with a long look. She let out a deep sigh, nodding her head. "Yeah." Dusting herself off, she rose slowly to her feet. "I hope she had a good first day," she remarked quietly.

Eric nodded. "Yeah, me too." His hand found its way back to her arm, his fingertips gently brushing over her forearm. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Calleigh bit her lip thoughtfully, the touch of his fingers raising goosebumps along her skin. Slowly she turned to face Eric, a smile on her face. "I'm good," she said sincerely, her light green eyes finally able to corroborate her words. No longer did her eyes betray her; no longer did they reveal what she tried to hide, because Calleigh no longer needed to hide anything. She really was okay. "Let's go get Sammie." With that, Eric simply nodded, and together they turned toward the car.

After only a few steps, Calleigh paused, letting Eric walk on in front of her a bit. Eventually he stopped and turned back to her, but he didn't come back to her. Instead, he simply waited.

Calleigh gave Eric a grateful smile, then once more, she turned back to the grave, her eyes landing on the single tulip propped up against the stone. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, again swearing she caught his scent on the wind. "I love you," she murmured, opening her eyes slowly. "That'll never change, ever. I'll always love you, Tim."

One last time, she turned away from the grave, resuming her short walk to the car; toward Eric. He said nothing as she stepped up beside him; he simply fell into step beside her, gently brushing his hand against hers as they walked.

It'd taken a lot of time and even more healing, but it seemed Calleigh had finally made it out to the other side. Finally she could see past a tragic end; a tragic end she'd thought would claim her life as well. But finally she could see past that. Finally she'd stopped fighting it, and she was able to embrace what she'd found to be true -- from every end sparks a new beginning.

Once more she glanced to her left, her sparkling green eyes meeting his deep brown ones, a genuine smile playing on her lips. And as together they walked those final few steps to the car, Calleigh moved almost imperceptibly closer to Eric, gently slipping her hand into his.

the end.