Chapter 15. Mind Tricks Are Stunning

Disclaimer: I do not own gravitation but I do own this story!

Warnings: mature themes, vamp fic, Au, slash, angst

Thanks everyone for reviewing. I have decided that once I finish this story that I would like to publish it. I'll change the names of my characters and give Shuichi more of a background. Since this is an original storyline the only thing that ties it gravitation this the characters name and appearances.

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A smile twisted his lips, his eyes dancing with the shadows made from the candle's flame. Submerged in the darkness, the vampire smirked. A slip of mirth and amusement played on his face as he stared into the omnipresent blackness. A sense of purpose, of distorted happiness, flowed over him and twisted his mind into such a state of euphoria that even the lightest pressure forced upon his skin caused him to shudder. Grasping his head, his fingers twirled around in his honey like locks. He thrashed his head around and around until he could take it no longer. He was forced to press his back against the decaying wall and deliriously summon his memory. His fingers touched its crumbling, cracked surface and his vision flared into scrotching orange, hazy yellow, and spiraling vermillion.

Bright images danced before his eyes, as he tilted his head back until it connected with the warped wood. Closing his amber eyes, he savored the sensations that crept along his spine. It was a tickling emotion, fleeting, flirtatiously elusive and somewhat mind clearing that urged his press down harder, rougher. Draw the memory up, the moment that he screamed, the second that everything was silenced. Draw it up or remember something else.

He pursed his lips together, his teeth sliding over the cracks in his lips, tracing the outlines of their boundaries. A low, rumbling noise echoed along the inner chamber of his throat as he released a deep moan. Saturating and attention grabbing, the deep, throaty sound aroused his body even further. It fueled the tingling emotion that had seized control of his limbs and caused his back to arch in forgotten memories. Pressing his perfect fingers against the wall, he shuddered, and slid the cold digits against the barren wood. Inside his mind he was dancing, marveling in the sensations created from watching one bloody scene replay over and over again.

In his perfect fanasty, his marred version of reality, he was theb only thing that mattered. Absolute control, how desirably. So lost in his illusion of perfection, he was not expecting the condemning voice that belong to his own mind to force him out of his pleasure.

"Like what you see Eiri? You're in an ecstatic mood tonight. What, toying with the weak and powerless suddenly become even more…delicious?" It was a whisper, a soft murmur against his ear that caused him to open his eyes. He lifted his head and frowned. The familiar tickling sensation ghosted over his body and he conversed. His malicious happiness disappeared and he was left bathed in illfitted anger. Feeling a cold wave of numbness, not unfamilar and alarming, he knew that the little voice inside his head had decided to come out and play. Annoyance ran throughout his body at his wasted high, as his mind betrayed him and the voice inside him floated to the surface.

He bite down, his teeth sinking into his soft tongue as pressure was exerted upon his spine; a warning to reply to the question given. He gave no answer, no response, no whimper of pain and disappointment. Oh how he would have loved to have cried out. But, instead he told himself that he would not be toyed with like a child would a puppet or a doll. He would not allow a mind trick to overcome him. Instead he decided to forgo answering, wait until the voice pished him to the opening of his edges.

"Playing the silent game won't drive me away but I bet if you stick out you're tongue and call me a meanie I might decide to go hide in the closet" The taunt was delivered, the words causing the vampire to bristle and a growl into silence through the darkness. Scrunching his face up, he let out a sneer at the childish behavior. His mouth twisted into an ugly expression and he knew that he would have to answer or receive a headache. His eyes roamed the veiled room until they locked upon burning red. Lifting his hand he waved the appendage causing the candle's flame to flicker before transforming into a wisp of smoke.

"How intelligent, I suppose reverting back to childish slurs is supposed to invoke some sort of anger in me? And Yes I was enjoying the memory of my "meal" last night." He taunted back, rising to the challenge that his mind had presented to him. He would not lie, he would not try to hide his feeling for what he had done. Last night's feeding was a work of art, a perfectly performed play. He had prided himself in the simple look o horror that had been displayed in the boys eyes. He marveled in the way the boy shivered as he awaited the impending diaster with uncertaintly. The look had been mesmerising. It was enough to thrill him to the point of performing truly herendios acts.

"Yes of course that was it. Or is it that you're happy simply because you think you've regained something. It's a sad site when you have to purposely destroy a human's mind just to feel stable." His mind replied, a sinister smirked forming in the back of his crania. The vampire tensed at the response, his anger rising at the accusations it held.

"Still enjoying the tramutizing situations you create from fooling around with humans? are you that uncreative that you have to get your hands bloody simply to surpress a memory. How absolutely fanstastic of you Eiri. "

"And just what would you know, if I decided to strip the land clean and bathe in a waterfall of blood simply because I have a desire for it then I will. No….human will ever get the better of me, especially one that talks to himself!" He spat the words from his tongue like hot venom, his lips barring back to expose his elongated teeth. He answered the unasked question, the sentence that his mind was dying to ask. It all revolved around that human.

"Yes and what you're doing is so much different." A laugh echoed inside of him, a rumbling at the back of his mind ghosted over his head causing him to shudder in rage. Reaching up he gripped the sides of his head and pressed inwards. The pressure, the force stung and the laughter subsided and a hiss echoed forth. Dual punishment, one sided revenge.

"It figures…..I have a little bit of fun and you appear to berate me, what got tired of watching from the side lines?" The vampire sneered as the hissing came to a soft whisper. He wanted to be left alone, he wanted to destroy the questions that where being thrown at him.

"Hn, I have no reason to be envious of you Eiri, look around you. You are worn, you are defeated, and you are unraveling. The once powerful vampire is coming undone. That fact alone brings me much amusement. You're at your wits ends and you have no idea how to save yourself." The last part was cooed in a soft tone, his mind taunting him, making him seethe with undefined rage at the thought that the things his other self said might possess some meaning of truth.

"And just why do you think that! Did you not see me last night, the things I did, the things I've done. I am no different than when I first became this walking….abomination. I am not the one that is coming undone, I am not the one that is pressed into a corner." What he said, the things that he told himself were true. A part of him believing them at least. He was not conquered, he was not becoming undone by a human.

"Really….then tell me, why does that mortal still possess a heart beat. Why haven't you ripped his throat out and be done with the whole mess….. Why are you hissing to the dark ? What makes this one any different than all the rest that you have killed?"

"And just where's the fun in that?" The vampire exclaimed, snarling into the dark. His hands clenched, his body tensing as he stood and paced the room. The floorboards creaked, the wood screaming at the pressure descending upon it. He was alone, he was covered in darkness, and he was in the one place that brought him turbulent peace. His sanctuary, his piece of hell, the building that he had shared with that human.

"I think I know why-"

" I bet you do! And let me guess its some….unspeakable tirade of how I can't kill that damn human because I'm afraid!" He growled, the noise bouncing of the marred walls and returning to him. He walked, stepping over broken glass and floors boards until he reached left the room that he was in and entered another one. This room was smaller, the walls holding no windows. Very little filth littered the floor as he took one giant sweep of the place with his eyes and continued moving forward. Going to the very end of the room he found a door and grasped the rusted copper doorknob. The door creaked, the wood barely opening as he pulled it forward and came face to face with the base of a flight stairs. Grasping the railing, he fingers slid over scarred wood, the grain worn and coarse. His nails traced each indention as he slowly ascended the stairs. Each step creaked, the wood shaking as he took his time until finally reaching the second floor landing.

"Hn, close. You got the afraid part right Eiri. If you aren't then why after 50 years have you returned to this place. Why are you back in this city, are you hiding from the memory of everything!" His mind screamed, the noise echoing against the sides of his skull and for one moment his vision blurred.

"Because it is my choice…..because other wise I am anything but- " He was cut off, his words falling short. He stood on the landing, his eyes starring into a narrow hallway. Shaking his head he moved forward, his feet sliding over faded newspaper, his body passing door after door until he reach the end of the path. In front of him stood a door, its handle no longer present, its wooden surface scratched and rotting. The number 17 hung from one nail, its surface encrusted with rust.

"Elite! Yes that was a dazzling speech you delivered last night but that's not it and you know it. The truth is, that when you strip everything away, all that you are you're left with is nothing. You have no place, no purpose, and that scares you more than anything. You are terrified that when you finally crack you won't know what to do."

"I fear nothing! Enough! All you offer is speculation. Foolish words that are meant to make me flustered. You are nothing more than a voice inside my head, and I am tired of your presence! I know my place, I know what I am, and I embrace every minute of it. This…this is simply a trying time, a period when I am damned with the images of my past, and the memory of what that man has done to me. I am troubled with that and nothing more. I am in control and I have no need for you!"

He moved forward, his hand pushing the door open until it revealed its innards. Stepping into the room his mind fell silent, his voice becoming lost, almost as if no words could reach him now. His mind cried, images sprung forth and he surveyed the room's contents with a rejected grimace. Held inside these four walls was everything he hated, everything he longed to forget. Closing the door behind him he allowed his movie to play, for his memories to run, and for sharp, asphyxiated regret to seize him. Just as the pressure in his skull lessened, his mind pressed against his eyes and whispered one last sentence to him.

"Perhaps what you have finally come to realize Eiri… is that eternity really is forever and you can't stand to continue just as you until time has truly stopped."

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"How long are you going to hide in here Shuichi?" Hiroshi was angry, his voice crackling as he screamed at the youth. Lingering in the back of the fluorescent haired's mind he urged the boy to speak. However, all he received was the faint hum of the fan turning up above. Tossing his head back he groaned and thought about his current situation. The one that was clear to him was that his charge was annoyingly stubborn. Something that would never change.

It had started out as a simple conversation, a way for him to coax the broken boy out of his shell, to help him live. Instead he received scared whispers, hushed tones, and fearful eyes. It angered him to no end, causing him to become flustered and his eyes to flash dangerously.

"You can't let him do this to you Shuichi! You're better than this, you're stronger than this!" Sighing Hiroshi caved, abandoning his quest to scare away the boy's fears. Leaving him to his own devices he sat and contemplative a way to make the wayward boy open up. Groaning once again he stared at the covered back of the youth. Shuichi had encased himself in blankets and buried his face from his site.

"You're going to have to come out sometime you know!" He received no response once again. Grunting he thought about pouncing on the bed and ripping the blanket away from the boy's form. He thought about shaking the brat until he cried and finally listened to what Hiroshi had to say.

"It's not like you're doing anything better…." He replied to the cocoon of pink hair, the strawberry tresses were splashed against his pillow. Sighing he float through the blanket's thin material and took note of Shuichi's current state. Huddled in a feeble nest of security, the youth laid shivering. The cold tore at his skin, caressing his body, and make him hug his sides. A cold vine crept against his heart as he fought off the frightening fingers of sleep. Inside he begged for release, for his heart to stop breaking, and for his mind to quit quivering.

He wanted to hide, to never let the warm rays of the sun fall across his skin. He wanted to forget, to believe that he was insane. That instead of some twisted, feeding frenzy that he was forced to participate in…. he was really just trapped in a disturbed nightmare. However, despite Hiroshi's babying he wasn't naïve. He knew that wishing was a useless joke, nothing would change reality. Everything was real, monsters existed, and he was condemned to being a demon's plaything. He had nothing left, he was already dead.

"At least think of the bills. If you can't afford to pay the rent to this….lavish penthouse sweet…. then you're ass is out on the streets!"

"So what….." Shuichi mumbled, pulling back his blankets and staring at his duck taped window. A shiver struck him, the sensation causing his stomached to turn and his skin to tingle like a spider was skating across his back.

"I'm a ward of the state and being stalked by a fucking vampire Hiroshi! What could possibly be worse? Besides… a paper box is better than this place anyway….." He grumbled, sticking out his bottom lip and pouting. Extending his front teeth, he ranked them across his plumb lip, his mind becoming heavy with thought as he shrugged his back. In front of him his vision twisted and Hiro appeared to him. Instantly the brunette began pacing, his hands moving with him as he lunged about the room. His wild his face contorted into a scrawl as he scolded him.

"Yes, but a paper box can't protect you from that big bad vampire" Hiroshi mocked, slapping his hands together, and urging Shuichi to move. Shuichi half expected him to say up and at them.

"Still Hiroshi its all the same….how can you expect me to continue like nothing happened knowing that I'm living on borrowed time….." He closed his eyes, blocking the screams that echoed his mind. His ears throbbed as the tried to ignore the imaginary voice of the woman that he never got to hear, the silent scream that was never ushered into the night, the repeating gasp of shock that haunted him. Inside him the vampire's words boomed repeating over and over until he felt like he might faint.

"So you're just going to wait and until he comes back for you is that it? Wait until the sun disappears over the horizon and he comes to rip the tape off the window? You're just going to let him take you, no struggle, no emotion, no fight? What happened to the words you said last night! What happened to messing with death!

"Death messed back! He did exactly what you said he would do and the price was something I never wanted to see. You were right, you're always right…." Shuichi trailed off his, voice growing soft and losing all emotion, as his eyes glazed over and he took on the appearance of a broken doll. His body went limp and thoughts of being split open by frozen fingers played hop scotch inside him. His hands began to shake as he picture perfect lips drenched in blood, his pink hair matted and his head thrown back and listless. Suddenly the meaning of death and his own foolishness sunk in. He was going to die, he was going to be killed just like that woman, and no one was going to care. He was going to die and all for the amusement of some creature that he couldn't even begin to fathom.

In front of him Hiroshi stopped his pacing and took in the emotions that flashed across Shuichi's face. Starring down at the quivering human, he felt his anger rise and he was swallowed up in rage. Almost immediately Shuichi's head shot up, his eyes glassy, his face puffy and red. He stared into Hiro's hardened eyes and began to shake even more. For the first time in almost six years Hiroshi was truly angry with him.

"Are you so stupid that you will just stay in this room and allow death, allow him to claim you!" Hiroshi seemed to explode, as he glared down at him with black eyes. The stare was unraveling, penetrating and upset Shuichi more than the vampire's ever did.

"Are you that pathetic Shuichi?" Somehow hearing the question asked by Hiroshi made him cringe even more. Throughout his life Shuichi had been asked that, been mocked, and ridiculed. He was used to it, used to pretending and ignoring, but not once had Hiroshi dared to ask him the same question with same amount of rage and anger as everyone else. It cut him deeply and for a moment he forgot about the vampire, forgot about the woman. Instead he was filled with pain of a different kind, a type that scared him more than having to touch a bleeding throat.

"Please Hiroshi, what do you expect me-----" He tried to cry, to let him other self know his pain but he never out the sentence out.

"I expect you to grow a back bone and act like you're alive! Other wise it's all over, other wise everything we have been through has been for nothing!"

"Hiroshi! You know that it's not true! You know that I -----" Again he was cut off, Hiroshi's deeper voice silencing him as the brunette towered over his form and screamed at him with such fury that Shuichi wished he had never created him.

"You know what Shuichi? You're conquered, you're defeated, you're that creature's plaything and you know it! You have become all the things that you fought so hard not to be." His voice seemed too softened his face contorting into a grimace as he lowered his eyes and stared at the pink haired boy's shaking hands. For a moment Hiroshi allowed the past to claim him and the memories of his early existence came flooding into him.

"You're exactly as they said you would turn out. Weak, desperate, and wishing for death." Hiroshi closed his eyes as Shuichi hid his from view. " And I have had enough!"

"I never thought that after all we been through, after all we went through just to gain this," Hiroshi opened his eyes and waved his hand in the air. Before him Shuichi peeked through the cracks of his fingers. His heart dropping with each word that Hiroshi muttered. "Much freedom. After all I've seen you overcome just for you to turn into this. You were passionate, you had fire! And now look, only after spending a few days with that man you're suddenly perfectly content to just sit around and die." By now the anger had faded from Hiroshi's voice. Hiroshi stared at Shuichi listlessly, his eyes betraying all of his disappointment.

"What happened to my Shuichi? What happened to the boy that refused to cry? Refused to settle for the abuse that surrounded him." Shuichi shook before pulling his hands away from his eyes. Lifting his head up, he locked Hiroshi's obsidian orbs with his and let out a shaky sentence. He knew everything Hiroshi said was true and he accepted it with stride.

"That Shuichi is no longer here. All that is left is me and…. I am at my wits end. This situation is different than the ones in the past. Its something that brings everything into perspective and forces me to give up childhood wishes and ideals…..it forces me to accept my fate without fighting. "He did not look down or hide his head in shame. Instead he stared into Hiroshi's infinite black pools and saw the same loneliness, the same oppressive darkness that the vampire's golden eyes held. He was drowning in that smothering color, begging for release as they wrapped themselves around him. He was so transfixed with the images he saw in them that he didn't expect to feel Hiroshi's hand striking him. He stumbled back against his head board, his cheek burning with invisible pain as he stared down his own mind, his own twisted image.

"No its not! Everything is the same, the solution is still the same. All you have to do Shuichi is find the right path to it." Again Hiroshi's hand descended upon his cheek. Though there was no stinging pain, no malicious, or hate. Lovingly, he stroked the spot were he had attacked and caressed it with a gentle hand. There was no hint of rage as he stared into his charge's violent, violet eyes and slowly soothed all his pain away.

"But how?" Shuichi whispered, holding Hiroshi's hand and believing every word. With large eyes he hung onto everything Hiroshi said just like a child would do with their parent. Removing his hand from the boy's face, Hiroshi pushed him against the bed and cradled him like a lover would.

"I have a plan," he smirked, cooing into the boy's ear and then with a chaste kiss he flowed back inside Shuichi.

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December 28, 1889

Someone help me. Tell me that sky does not rain fire, that the images that assault my mind and burn through my closed eyes are false. Implore to me that my mind is crippled, destroyed and feeble and that everything I see is nothing more than as hallucination. Tell me that I'm locked in some cruel farce of a nightmare. Please, someone kill me.

I have no sense of time, no sense of being. I am locked forever in blue darkness and my body burns with a painful touch of fire. I am drowning I know it! It has been days since I have seen the sun, felt my skin without fear or revulsion. It has been days…..since that man has touched me.

For the first time in years I am filled with that childhood fear. Filled with an anger and hate that is strong it threatens to destroy me. I was foolish! I know that! I know that! But please, someone, don't let this beast claim me…..don't let this night continue on forever. For I fear it, I fear the things that are hidden in it and the voice that presses against my skin and whispers its desires to me. It sings horrible songs and implants images inside my mind. It is slowly driving me insane, it is slowly but surely picking me apart and I fear that it does not stop I shall no longer exist……

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Gold eyes traced the curve of each word, staring at the scratchy worn writing until he could take no more and threw the book that held the passage against the wall. It fell to the floor a few pages, their surfaces yellow and stiff escaped from frayed thick spine of the little black book. Screaming he grasped the nearest object to his form, a small leather chair that was encrusted with dust it upholstery uplifting and half eaten way by time and moths, and threw it. It crashed against the wall, wooden splinters flying everywhere and a thin layer of dust filled the room. The air tasted stale, lifeless, like paper.

Breathing in the dead air the vampire threw the decaying door that lead in and out of the small room into the hallway and rushed down the stair. Flinging himself into the parlor, he approached one of the cracked windows and appeared out upon the hills surrounding the house. A warm crimson and violet hued blanket coated the hills turning the grass into a glowing mass of orange and yellow as the sun began to set.

" What are you going to do Eiri? Seek out that little human and torment him even more?" His mind watched him with a fixed amusement as he waited until darkness covered the once glowing hills. A sense of urgency, of raw terror filled him as he waited until the night came alive and extended it claws to cover everything. Gripping his hands he savored the sensation of his nails piercing his skin. A small shiver, a little curling tendril of release floated through him and it caused his mind to clear and anger to amplify.

"No I want to do something that's even more fun" He said and laughed into the darkness, his blood dripping onto the already stained wood of his house.