Disclaimer: I don't own DA:O or any of its characters.

A/N: Sorry for the delay! And the length is a bit...well it's long. Hope you enjoy it!

One For The Ditch

I wasn't in the least bit surprised when Niela announced that there would be a welcome home dinner. She comes sailing into my bedroom the following morning as chipper as you please. I pull my covers over my head as she opens the drapes.

"Up and at 'em, my ladyship," she chirps. "We need to decide what you will wear this evening for dinner."

I groan and roll over onto my side. "Can't I just wear a potato sack? I'm sure that would make a lasting impression on the king." I was still peeved at him for leading me on last night.

"Maker, no!" she gasps. "We will need the proper jewellery, a fine dress, shoes, make up…" she counts the items off on her list.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I have maybe, three dresses, and none of the other items. I do, however, own an amazing pair of leather boots. I kicked the shit out of many a brute wearing those stompers, let me tell you," I offer proudly.

"Fear not my ladyship, for the king has provided an entire wardrobe for you," Niela replies.

"He what?" I poke my head out from under the covers. "You mean the clothes I arrived with, right? He did provide most of those, it's true."

"No, my ladyship. Before you arrived, he had trunks of clothes brought in. They're of the finest quality, I assure you."

I sighed, running my fingers through my mass of tangled brown hair. "I don't know whether to be happy or angry. I don't want people thinking I'm some sort of charity case…or worse yet, a kept woman."

Niela gave me that strange look that I'd already grown accustomed to. "If the king wishes to bestow gifts upon you, you should feel nothing but joy." She obviously has no idea where I'm coming from. "I think that you'll look quite fetching in the violet gown," she reaches into my wardrobe and extracts said dress. "And for your shoes…oh these ones are lovely!" She pulls out a pair of black satin…oh Maker how will I get my feet into those?!

"Can't I just wear my boots?" I moan.

"My ladyship, you must wear something that is appropriate for your station. Rugged leather boots, I'm afraid, are not fit for a teyrna. Nor is a potato sack," she gave me a lopsided grin.

I sigh, tossing the blankets aside. "Oh alright, but I don't need to get ready now, do I? Dinner won't be for hours."

Niela blinks a few times. "My ladyship, it is already mid-afternoon. You have been sleeping for quite some time."

My mouth hangs agape. "Mid-afternoon?!" My gaze shifts to the window, and based on the sun's positioning, I can tell that Niela is telling the truth. "Why did you let me sleep in so late?" I demand, immediately regretting my chiding tone.

Niela looks crestfallen. "I would have woken you up sooner, but His Majesty insisted that you get as much rest as possible after your trip. I apologize, my ladyship."

"No, I'm sorry. It isn't right for me to be angry at you, especially if His Majesty ordered it." I sigh once more and roll my eyes. "Just another example of his demonstrating his control over my surroundings."

She's giving me that look again. Oh well, I guess I can't make her understand how I feel. Instead of arguing, she approaches me, brush in hand, ready to attack the rats' nest that has formed in my hair. I let out a few yelps as she combs through several mats and tangles. "Shouldn't we do my hair after I have the dress on?" I ask.

"No, my ladyship. This dress you will step into, and it laces up the back. You will not be pulling it over your head." She explains. To me it sounds dreadfully complicated, and just another example of a noblewoman's useless frippery. Niela continues to brush my hair. From her pocket she seizes several pins, which she begins to place into my hair. My tresses are drawn back into an elaborate do, with a few strands loosely framing my face. Niela adds a few sprigs of soap wart* to my hair, the finishing touch to her creation. "There! Your hair looks marvellous!" she beams. "And to be honest…my ladyship, you are very appealing. You have no need for make up. Let's just get you into this dress." I follow her lead and step into the lavish dress. Niela pulls it up past my waist and helps me to slide my arms into the proper holes. The sleeves are relatively short, really just a band of material that hangs loosely on my upper arms. The front of the gown…leaves little to the imagination.

"Erm…Niela…this dress…are my tits going to pop out at any moment?" I ask uncertainly.

Niela laughs, the sound is like the tinkling of bells. "No, you needn't worry. This is a corset dress. You'll be pulled in quite tightly."

That sounded scary and highly unpleasant. "What do you mean, 'pulled in tightly'?" Niela is standing behind me, busying herself with the ribbons at the back of my dress. "I really don't like that whole 'tightly' notion-ANDRASTE'S FLAMING SWORD SODDING THUNDER HUMPER!" The slew of expletives flies from my lips. I could barely move. I could hardly breathe. Niela lets loose a frustrated sigh.

"You want to look good for the king don't you?" she asks. She continues to pull at whatever torture device she has fastened to my back. More breath is expelled from my lungs. I let loose a choking gasp. "Well then, you need to endure a bit of pain," she replies. Is it just me, or do I detect a bit of satisfaction in her voice? Why that little sadistic….By the time the night is out, I swear I'm going to put a snake in her bed. That'll teach her for making me wear this beastly, horrible, awful and positively wretched torture device that is clearly disguised as a dress. Yes, a big snake, with black beady eyes! Or better yet a spider! Oh wait…Ali is the one that hates them…Maker's breath what am I even on about? I think the corset is cutting off the oxygen flow to my brain. Niela stands before me, hands on her hips. Her blue eyes are wide with wonder. "You look magnificent…" she murmurs. I spin around and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Okay, maybe I look like a bit of a fox. But is it really worth this amount of pain? Hardly! "Niela," I rasp. "I can barely move. I think one of my ribs has punctured a lung."

Niela waves a hand dismissively. "Don't be silly, my ladyship. Believe me, I could have made it much tighter." I find that hard to believe, but I really don't want to test her theory. Much to my surprise, we'd spent at least a couple of hours preparing for this dinner. By the time Niela has fastened a satin choker around my neck, it's time for me to make my way to the dining hall.

I feel more than a little ridiculous when one of Alistair's guards announces my arrival. It all seems so over the top, really. When I enter the room I notice that everyone is already seated at the table. Upon my entrance, Alistair leaps to his feet, followed by the rest of our little entourage. Leliana and Zevran are both giving me looks of approval. Bridget, on the other hand, is staring at me, mouth agape. Leliana reaches over to her and affectionately nudges her chin, prompting Bridget to shut her mouth.

Alistair strides over to me. He takes both of my hands in his and smiles widely. "You look…well, good enough to eat, really." His eyes twinkle. "Perhaps the cook should be serving you as dessert." He winks at me and leans in, kissing me on the cheek. He leads me to the table, where he of course takes a seat at the head (he is the king after all), and I sit to his right. Leliana is sitting to my other side. As one of the servants pours the wine she leans over, whispering into my ear.

"Have you given any thought as to what you will do if he asks you to be his queen?" she asks.

"Hey now! No whispering at the table!" Alistair chastises playfully. After all of the wine had been poured, Alistair raises his glass. "I would like to propose a toast," at his announcement, everyone lifted their wine goblets. "To our lovely Teyrna Cousland: may she find happiness no matter where she calls home." Okay, now what's that supposed to mean? I don't like the little smirk that Zev is casting in my direction. As dinner is served, I can feel Alistair's penetrating gaze. I shift uncomfortably in my chair, and finally turn toward him.

"Is there something I can help you with, Your Majesty?" I ask politely.

He smiles. "I was just thinking about something. Tell me, once all of this business with the Chantry, or whoever is trying to kill us blows over, do you plan on staying here in Highever?"

I choose my words carefully. "I suppose so…though if Your Majesty should require any aid in Denerim, I would most certainly travel there to offer any assistance."

"What if I wanted you to stay on at the palace on a more…permanent basis?" he asks.

Uh-oh. "To what end?"

Alistair's smile widens. "That's something we can discuss in private. For now, I just wanted to get an idea of how you'd respond to living in the palace." He takes a sip of his wine. "Egads, this is really good!" He takes a few more sips, and one of the servants promptly refills his glass. Looks like it's the king's turn to get royally wasted.

"And just when are we going to be having this 'private' discussion? Because I'd like to know as soon as possible if I'm to be shipped to the palace to live out my existence as a royal advisor." I shudder at the thought. Day after day of snivelling nobles and bland politics for the rest of my life. I definitely hadn't signed up for that! At least in Highever I'd be relatively isolated.

"Don't worry, dear lady. We shall discuss it as soon as we get a moment alone, I promise," he replies.

I sigh and shake my head. I try to ignore the king's continued glances at my new dress, as it seems to have him captivated. I'm tempted to tell him that my eyes are on my face, not bursting out of my dress. The rest of dinner is pleasant enough. Leliana regales us all with several tales of her travels, Zevran tells us of his adventures with the Antivan Crows, even Bridget manages to have us all in stitches with her stories of the uptight templars in the Tower. I begin to notice just how drunken Alistair has become, for his words have become slightly slurred. When he loops an arm around Zevran's shoulder and begins to sing, we're all in agreement that he should head to bed.

"I will see to it that he is safely put to bed," Zevran assures me. "I'll be right back." He helps Alistair to his feet, much to the king's slurred protests, and the posse of guards, king, and elf are off. Leliana and Bridget take this opportunity to pounce on me, eager to hear more about my…situation with the king.

"So?! Does he want you to live with him or not?" Leliana asks excitedly.

I roll my eyes. "He probably just wants to keep me close so I can give him advice on politi-"

"Oh hush, we all know it's more than that! He's so taken by you, Elissa! The glow he emits whenever you're near…you'd have to be blind not to see it." Leliana gushes.

I frown. "I don't know…I just…I want to make sure before I let myself feel too much…"

Zevran returns and takes a seat opposite me. "The king is in his quarters and out like a light. I imagine that we will not hear from him until late tomorrow afternoon." He chuckles softly.

Niela approaches me just then. "My ladyship, I was wondering if you needed anything else? If not I would like to retire for the evening."

I smile and nod. "Yes of course, get some rest. You've had a busy day."

Neila curtsies and smiles graciously. "You are too kind, my ladyship. I shall see you tomorrow morning." At her departure I suddenly gasp.

"Bollocks! I needed her to get me out of this bloody dress!"

Leliana giggles. "I can help with that. I have plenty of experience in removing elaborate dresses." She turns to Bridget. "It's quite an undertaking. Perhaps you could come too?"

Bridget blushes and nods. "Of course."

We leave Zevran to his own devices and head back to my room. After many anguished cries and sobs, Leliana and Bridget manage to remove the dress. They don't stay for long, however, and are soon retiring to Leliana's own guest room. Lucky them. I flop downon my bed, mind racing with the question that Alistair had asked of me. Could I really stay with him in the palace? Was he really so serious about our relationship that he'd ask me to be his queen? I mean, I'd only really known him for a few weeks. But I can't deny the fact that I have strong feelings for him…Perhaps staying in Denerim with him wouldn't be so bad…I decide to confront him on these issues first thing tomorrow morning. Assuming he's sober.

I awoke quite early the next morning, and I was seemingly bursting with energy. I guess having the proper resolve does that to you. I pull on a dress and head to the kitchen. The cook is already busying herself with breakfast preparations. I find a pot of freshly made tea on the table and grab it, along with two cups. I figure the king is probably going to wake with a splitting headache, so the tea might help. I carry the tea back to the king's quarters, humming softly under my breath. When I reach the door it strikes me as odd that there is no guard stationed outside. I shrug a shoulder and burst into his room, tea in hand.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead! Time to start a new-" I stop dead in my tracks, my stomach drops. The king is still sleeping soundly, soft snores being emitted from his mouth. His arm is circled around bare shoulders, a naked torso pressed to his chest. Long blonde hair covers the woman's shoulders. Both figures begin to stir. My mouth has gone dry, and for a few moments, I can't speak. Alistair's eyes flutter open.

"Ngh, Maker…Elissa? What are you-" he glances down at the naked woman that he's holding in his arms. "I-Elissa wait, it isn't what you-"

I paste on a fake smile. "I'm terribly sorry, Your Majesty! I didn't know you had company. I will leave immediately." My voice is dripping with so much sweetness I nearly choke on it. My eyes dart to the woman when she shifts on top of him, and turns to face me. I recognize her immediately, and her look of shame is not lost on me. "Neila! Oh dear, I had no idea. Don't worry, I'll have someone else take care of your duties." I hope they don't see through the façade…please, please, please, don't let them see my pain…

"My-my ladyship-I-" she looks like she's ready to start crying. I hold up a hand to stop her from talking.

"Really, it's no problem, I'll just be on my way!" I spin on my heel and dart out of the room, letting the door fall shut behind me. I hear the king shout out my name, but I ignore him. I rush into my own quarters, still holding the bloody tea. I set it down, my hands shaking from what I'd just seen. I look down at my trembling fingers. They seem so…unlike me. For several moments I simply stand there, in the middle of my chambers, numb to my surroundings. Then the pain hits me, a strangled cry ripping from my throat. I double over, clutching at my abdomen. The tears don't come right away. They never do. Only waves of anguish. I didn't know just how strongly I felt for him until that very moment. I try to tell myself that I should have known better, that I was fooling myself thinking that he actually loved me. But damn it, I had believed him! I sink to the ground, arms circling my knees. There's a pounding at the door.

"Elissa!" I recognize Alistair's voice. Of course it would be him. "Elissa please! We need to talk about this!" Maybe if I don't answer, he'll give up and think I'm somewhere else. "I know you're in there, I'm not leaving until you answer me."

I slowly get to my feet. I smooth out my dress. I wipe my cheeks, though they're dry, as I'd yet to shed any tears. I steel myself. All of my movements are purposeful and precise. I must show no weakness. I open the door, that same shit-eater grin plastered on my face. "Yes, sire?"

"Elissa, please, it's not what you think," his eyes were pleading. "I don't even know what happened. I just woke up and-"

"Your Majesty, who you take to bed is none of my business. Now, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get ready for the day." I close the door and lock it. Alistair continues to pound at it incessantly.

"We need to talk about this!" he demands once again. I sit on the edge of my bed and face the wall, trying in vain to block him out. After several minutes I hear murmured voices. I recognize one to be Zevran's. His voice is soothing, calm. He obviously has an effect on the king, because all of the shouting and pounding eventually stops. And then, blessed silence. I crawl into my bed and lie on my side. I pull my knees up to my chest and begin to weep softly.