Chapter 14 – Tempest
"I am disappointed."
The hard tapping noise of his boots against the floor boards accompanied Dryden as he paced in front of Allen in his cabin. Allen's black eye was impressive. Dryden glared. He was madder at Allen for getting under his skin than for his stubbornness.
The Black Lady and the Full Moon lay at anchor in the bay of an island where Allen had finally allowed filling up on fresh water. The last barrels were just being rowed back to the ship. It had been more than a week since they had fled the harbor of Godashim and the captain had refused to fill up on water and other supplies in all these days. They hadn't passed a single island on the entire way and Allen hadn't been willing to make a detour.
He had caved when both Ruhm and Dryden hadn't given him a choice anymore. Dryden wasn't easily ruffled. He had learned that anger and rash actions wouldn't get him anywhere. His father had been a good teacher. But this time he had had to hurt Allen. He had been more surprised than Allen, surely.
The captain merely raised his gaze at Dryden's words, his left eye swollen shut. "I've heard that one before."
Dryden glared. He would punch Allen again if it made a difference but he knew Allen wouldn't care. The captain would just take it in stride. "If you hadn't been such an idiot about filling up on fresh water, I wouldn't have had to punch you."
"Oh, now it's my fault." Allen leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Can't throw a punch and stomach it? Is your pacifist conscience too weak to bear it?"
A tired smile tugged at Dryden's lips. He wondered when Allen would finally accept Dryden's new life, wondered when he would realize that Dryden didn't raise to the bait anymore. He knew that this was what Allen wanted. Nag him, annoy him, try to get a rise out of him by bad-mouthing his decision.
Dryden couldn't remember how often he had tried to convince Allen that he had not lost his best friend to a woman. Allen didn't want to hear it and Dryden was getting tired of talking against a brick wall. Allen would understand. Eventually.
"This isn't a weekend foray, Dryden. We're not here to have fun and picnic whenever we feel like." Allen was angry, Dryden could sense it. The captain had hoped for a little verbal sparing because deep down in his black little heart he was missing Dryden and he would cut off his tongue before he ever admitted it. It probably annoyed him. The captain wasn't exactly keen on feelings that got in the way of his judgement.
"This is a race and there is no consolation prize for coming in second!" As if the volume of his voice wasn't enough to emphasize his words, Allen slammed his fist on the table.
Dryden frowned. Somehow the captain was slacking. Something must have gotten in the way of his judgement because he had never been this reckless. Allen had never risked the life of his crew for his own personal gain. "But even they need to fill up their stocks every once in a while."
Allen shrugged. "We've already lost too much time by getting arrested. We have to catch up as soon as possible."
„Do you even know where we are headed? This island isn't on any map. Are you sure it's there at all?"
Their fathers had never actually reached the island. Allen had been fed heroic stories when he had been a child but after all they were just lies. Their fathers had found the map in the leftovers of a wreckage and they had set out for the treasure. A storm struck before they even spotted land. They lost one friend to the sea and his crew and ship to those who had been following. They returned and gave the remaining pieces of the map to their sons in hopes they would continue where the fathers had failed.
His father's words rang loud and clear in Dryden's mind even after all these years. He had said the island had called him with the voice of a siren. That's why he knew it was there. Dryden remembered the look in the eyes of his father. Obsession.
When he was a child, Dryden had heard many stories about Atlantis. Like any boy this age he had been intrigued by the legends, the adventures they promised and the wealth and fame that would await those who found the cursed island.
His father had been sure that was where the map would lead them. He had been so convinced that he had left behind his only son and had risked his own life and the many lives of his crew.
Crazy old fool. Dryden shook his head and noticed the silence. He had been too caught up with his own thoughts to realize that Allen hadn't answered his question.
"Allen?"
The captain raised his head and Dryden recoiled when he saw the expression on his face. "It's calling me, Dryden."
"You are obsessed," Dryden snarled and took a step away from Allen. He wanted to knock some sense into this thick skull of his. He would lose his friend like he had lost his father. He saw it clearly and it scared him.
Allen stood and leaned across the table. "Don't tell me you can't hear it. I'm sure it's in your dreams as well. Don't lie to me."
Dryden's eyes widened. He had heard the voice of a woman. Faintly. He hadn't been able to make out the words. He had thought it was Millerna. He refused to believe he was going crazy like his old man. He wouldn't make his father's mistakes.
He sighed. "Is a chest full of gold really worth all these lives?"
"There are things more valuable than gold, Dryden." Allen walked to the windows at the back of his cabin and looked out astern. The sea lapped greedily against the hull of the motionless ship. He could see the beach that curled around the eastern cliffs of the island.
They had had to yaw and it didn't sit well with him. The detour would cost them another two days at least. He had been sure they would eventually cross an island on the original course and his disappointment had outweighed his anger when Ruhm and Dryden had rounded on him. Dryden didn't trust him anymore, thought Allen was going crazy, heard voices in his head, the fool. It hurt him more than he was willing to admit, even after all these years.
But the voices were as real as the bottle rum in front of him. They were sweeter than anything he had ever known. Every night he was hoping they would haunt his dreams, filling them with promises.
He was no fool. He knew that the voices were meant to lure him in but the difference was that he was coming willingly so he could sit back and enjoy. Every night they would come to him, a little clearer and a little louder than the night before, he would know they were on course.
But Dryden didn't understand. Dryden had given up on this life, it wasn't his purpose anymore. Dryden had found something else and had forgotten what the map meant to Allen. For Allen it was more than just following his father's dream. It was his chance to prove himself, to prove that he could be as good a pirate as his father, better even, prove that he was not worthless.
It was time to step out of a dead man's shadow. He would see for himself what drove his father, what made him abandon his family. Allen would decide if it had been worth it and he would finally come to rest.
"You know what it is. You know what we're going to find on that cursed island." It wasn't a question, it was an accusation. There was still restrained anger in Dryden's voice.
"No." Allen turned. "I just know it's not gold and jewels."
Dryden didn't seem surprised, just resigned. "You do know that your crew is expecting heaps of gold. They've suffered a lot and they want it to be worth their while. They might not be willing to go with you anymore once they find out."
Allen's eyes narrowed and hurt flared inside him. "Are you saying that they'd start a mutiny?"
Dryden held his hands up and shrugged. He knew it wasn't his place to judge and yet he did. "I'm just saying you should be careful with what you tell them. Don't get their hopes up."
"I trust my crew."
The words held so much more meaning, so many unspoken thoughts that weighed heavy on his mind. And he was sure Dryden knew because Dryden averted his eyes and took off his glasses to clean them meticulously on the lapels of his vest.
"Is there any land on our way at all?" Dryden stared at his glasses that didn't need cleaning in the first place. His change of topic was obvious and awkward but Allen didn't let himself be bothered with it. "The fresh water won't last us too long."
"I don't know. The maps don't say anything but then again I doubt that anyone has been sailing these waters before."
A smile tugged at the corners of Allen's lips. The unknown waters had never been his passion. He had never felt the urge to fill the blank spots on the maps. He preferred the waters that he knew like the back of his hand. It was safer. Predictable. Allen didn't like surprises. He didn't like not knowing where he was going. He didn't like not knowing what to expect. He liked to be in control of everything.
He would never let his crew know. They could smell fear and as soon as they felt that their captain was unsure about what he was doing, doubt would spread quickly. Doubt was like poison to the fragile net of trust that held his crew together. He couldn't and he wouldn't lose it.
He wouldn't even tell Dryden even if it meant he was betraying him. Dryden's eyes were expectantly fixed on him and Allen realized he hadn't noticed Dryden had asked a question.
"How much longer to the island?"
The captain shrugged. "Another week maybe? Depends on the wind and the water. They had reduced speed and two people were up in the crow's nest to look out for shallows and reefs. Allen had only little information about the nature of the ocean bed and they were running a high risk to run aground. He was dependent on the information their fathers had left on the map and he didn't like it one bit.
His father had controlled his life for too long, even after his death. It was time it all came to an end.
Dryden set his hands down on the table in front of Allen. "The stock won't last."
"I know, Dryden. I can't change it." Allen's voice had taken a sharp edge, impatient and annoyed. He knew what Dryden was going to get at and he refused to have anybody tell him what to do on his own ship. He gave orders, he didn't receive them. Dryden seemed to have forgotten a few things while leading an honest and decent life.
"You can calculate the stock and you'll know when we'll have to make a detour to fill up." The air had grown thick and heavy between them, both of them waiting for the other to make a mistake. Dryden had chosen his words carefully. It wasn't a request or even an advice. He was stating a mere possibility.
Allen stared at Dryden's hands, the fingertips starkly white as he grabbed the tabletop. He wondered why Dryden suddenly didn't trust him anymore. "Would it make you feel better if I promised I would even if it doesn't mean anything?"
All the tension left him in a breath. "Yes."
"You have my meaningless word then." Allen waved his hand airily, the stern expression on his features betraying his careless demeanour.
Dryden had already turned and walked to the door. He stilled on the threshold and spoke without turning around. "Thank you. At least, next time I can beat you for a reason."
Dryden found Millerna with the carrier pigeons. A white one sat perched on her finger, cooing quietly with its eyes closed as she stroked its feathers. Allen owned a few carrier pigeons, each trained for a different city. Two of the Pallas birds were missing.
"I can't recall Allen saying that he had planned to send a letter to Pallas." Dryden stopped in front of her and rested his shoulder against the wall, far enough away to not be tempted to touch her.
Something had happened in Godashim and he had to find out. It was important to her from the way she acted, from the way she hadn't yet told him. However, he didn't want to give Millerna the satisfaction of seeming curious. He had some dignity he wanted to preserve.
She didn't look up at him when she spoke, continuing to pet the bird. "I sent the letter. I don't think Captain Schezar will mind. He owes me."
He did, in fact, and he wasn't happy about it. Although Allen had somehow traded his freedom for hers and it seemed they had both benefited from the deal, the captain's dept weighed more.
"What brings you here, Dryden?"
Her words startled him. They were spoken quietly and deliberately. She knew exactly what he wanted and she was toying with him. He knew he deserved it to some extent. He might not exactly have lied to her for a solid five years but she didn't regard keeping a very important part of his past from her any higher than outright lying.
"You've been hiding for most of these last days. I wanted to see you." Those were the truest words he had told her in quite a while. He missed her, missed the time when she hadn't known who he had once had been, when she hadn't had a reason to mistrust him.
"I had some important things to settle." She still wasn't looking at him, her tone seemingly light and disinterested although he could tell she was anything but.
He ground his teeth and surrendered. His arms crossed in front of his chest he glared at her, mutely cursing her cunning everything under the sun. It was why he was still chasing after her but sometimes it drove him wild. "May I ask what suddenly was so important?"
Now she finally looked up at him and saw the grin she wasn't able to stop from tugging at the corners of her lips. "You may."
She wanted him to crawl on his knees and beg, he could see it in her eyes. "It doesn't concern Duke Chid, does it?"
He knew that Duke Chid had once proposed to her. He knew that she had declined. He knew nothing more. The jealousy he felt pumping through his veins rang loudly with every word. He couldn't control it and it visibly amused her. "In a way, yes."
His fists curled at his sides and he was amazed at the strength of the feeling. Not even Allen was able to get this far under his skin.
Millerna's features softened and she sighed. Somehow he had won and he had no idea how. "Dryden, if there is something you want to say, say it. I cannot read your mind."
Dryden uncurled his fists. He didn't want to be angry. She had every right to mistrust him. "What happened in Godashim?"
A lone sunbeam found its way through a crack in the boards. The light pooled at Millerna's feet and dust danced toward the ground. "Duke Chid asked me to talk my father out of starting a war."
Dryden's eyes widened. "But we've only been gone for a month and a half."
"It's frightening, yes." She let the bird hop back in its cage and rested her back against the wall. She looked tired.
Dust stirred on the ground and sparkled like fireflies in the light when Dryden crossed the room towards her and sat beside her. He felt drained now that there wasn't a reason for jealousy anymore. He felt silly and childish and in love. "I thought you didn't want to get involved with your father's politics."
"I might have changed my mind. I had a talk with Duke Chid. He made me realize a few things." She took his hand as he held his open palm out to her.
When she had told him she would leave the court of Asturia and refuse the crown he had tried to reason with her. Not because he sought fame and wealth. Of both, he had enough to last him two lifetimes. No, he had known he wouldn't be able to make her happy all by himself, she needed her people. But he had promised himself to support her no matter her decision. "Such as..."
Millerna rolled her head to the side and looked at him, tired but determined. She had dust on her lashes and feathers in her golden hair. "I have a responsibility but it doesn't have to be a burden. I am going to be Queen but under my conditions."
Dryden chuckled and kissed the back of her hand. She seemed so sure. He was elated with relief. "So, you'll want to return home after all. Do you think you can change things in Asturia while you're with us? You know you cannot receive any letters while we're sailing."
"I know." She curled her fingers into his palm. "I don't expect a reply. I didn't even tell my father were we are now. I just sent a second letter, ensuring that he realizes I'm not joking this time."
"Why didn't you go back to Asturia when you had the chance in Godashim? The threat of war seems imminent."
He would be lying if he said he wasn't glad to have her so close to himself and his past, finding her accepting it slowly. But the pleasant calm of the journey would be over too soon. He felt it in the air like the static power of an incoming thunderstorm.
"I have to make sure my future King returns from his adventure safe and sound." She smiled at him and closed her eyes. "Apart from that I feel like I can't turn around anymore anyway. Hitomi says that the island wants all of us to find it, that our fates are now closely interwoven. And I can feel the pull."
Dryden averted his eyes. So Millerna could feel it as well. Maybe he should admit that this time, they had no choice, that for now they were at the mercy of something else. He dropped his head against the wall behind him and exhaled. Millerna's hand was warm and soft in his.
He would not surrender.
She didn't like the captain. She couldn't read him. She would usually know what people thought, if they lied. She could smell if they were nervous or anxious, she could detect unconscious movements and usually she dreamed of a person before she met them. She had dreamed of Folken. She had seen him, an angel coming to save her, she who had never believed she deserved saving. And she could read him, knew what was going on behind his eyes, she just couldn't do anything about it.
But she had never dreamed of the captain. She had never had a single vision of him. She couldn't smell him, she couldn't see him, there was nothing behind his eyes. To her and her senses, he virtually didn't exist.
And she would be lying if she said it didn't affect her. She relied on her senses, and even more on her visions. With most people she knew what to expect, knew what they intended, why they sought her out. With the captain there was only silence. She didn't know what he felt, what he thought, what he longed for. It made him unpredictable and dangerous.
She was uncomfortable around him. She couldn't place him, couldn't put him in one of her categories.
"Is there anything you want to tell me, Seer?" He sat hunched over a table strewn with books. He didn't look up, merely leafed through a leather-bound book with yellowed pages.
Naria narrowed her eyes at him. What was he getting at? She reported her visions regularly. When he had a request, when he had a question, he would tell her. "No, there is nothing. The visions haven't changed."
The silence was heavy when he stopped leafing through his book and the rustle of the pages stopped. He folded his hands and looked at her with his unreadable eyes. "Do you know what awaits us on the island?"
She was weary. She didn't want to say anything wrong. Only she didn't know what was the wrong thing to say. "I have an idea."
"What is it?" She was the sole focus of his attention and it was almost unbearable. He rarely looked at her when he spoke with her or with Folken. He was either reading or looking out the window. Never looked at her. And now he wished he wasn't. She wanted to avert her eyes but she couldn't. She wanted to turn away but she couldn't. His stare was so intense that she squirmed. It felt as if he was seeing her every thought, her every secret, felt as if he was reaching for her soul.
"I think it is dangerous." She could barely get the words out. When he averted his eyes she almost crumbled to the floor. As if he had held her up, trapped against the wall. She breathed in deeply.
"Do you see anything beyond the island?" He was leafing through his book again. "Anything that happens after?"
"No, but –-"
"Thank you." He interrupted her with a quick motion o his hand and she clamped her lips together. "You may go."
Red hot anger burned inside her and made her hands shake. She curled her fingers into her palms as her head swirled with all the things she wanted to tell him, all the things she couldn't tell him. Her lips were pressed to a thin line when she merely nodded her head and left the cabin.
She was sick and tired of letting him use her like a tool, of doing his every wish and obeying to his every bidding. But she knew that whatever she said to him, he would not care. Her idle threats could never impress him. He knew she would never leave the ship alone. It angered her even more.
"Naria, why haven't you told him?"
Naria was startled out of her thoughts and she looked up to find her sister Eriya leaning against the wall in the shadows at the end of the hallway. Looking around she found herself deep inside the belly of the ship. Lost in her angry thoughts she hadn't realized where she had been walking.
When Eriya stepped out of the shadows there was a disapproving frown on her features and Naria's eyes narrowed. "How would you know that I haven't told him?"
"Because the future hasn't changed."
Naria laughed bitterly. The naivety of her sister astounded her. How could she still believe in the common sense of the people who had kept them as prisoners, pets and toys for all these years? "You think he would have changed his mind if I had told him?"
Eriya stepped closer and the only noise was the gentle swish of her dress. It seemed as if even the ship was holding its breath. "He has the right to choose and therefore he needs to know."
Naria averted her eyes. It hurt, seeing her sister's hopeful expression, hearing the determined tone of her voice. Eriya believed in these people, in their future. She believed so strongly that they would choose the right way that she couldn't see that they might still choose the wrong one. Failure was not an option for her anymore.
In the end, she would only get hurt. Hurt so badly that she would never recover. Eriya was destroying herself without noticing it and all Naria could do was watch. The silver twin felt the back of her eyes prick with imminent tears. It was so unfair and it made her sad and angry and frustrated. Frustrated mostly because her sister refused to listen to her, refused to even consider what she had to say.
How could the two of them be so alike and yet so different? Why couldn't her sister see? Why couldn't Eriya see that Naria only wanted the best for her, that she only wanted to protect her?
She steeled her voice as she spoke, veiling her broken words with coldness. "I did, in fact, tell him that there was nothing we could see coming after the events on the island. Only he did not interpret it the way we do. He thinks that the island shields the future and therefore we cannot see anything."
Naria was sure it wasn't that the island veiled the future but that seeing nothing meant that there would be no more future after what was going to happen on the island. It scared her.
"You could have explained it!" Eriya exploded, her cheeks flushed with indignation.
"I owe him nothing!" Naria snarled and glared at her sister.
Their frustration with each other was palpable in the silence between them. Both of them wanted to convince the other but they were both deaf to the other's arguments.
"We owe him our lives." Eriya finally spoke, her voice soft, pleading, willing her sister to understand. "He took us in, he gave us shelter."
"He's using us." Naria averted her eyes. She could no longer bear to look into Eriya's hopeful eyes, knowing there was no way to get through to her.
With the years on board this ship, Naria had heard and seen enough that she had come to believe that the death of their parents might not have been an accident, that it might not have been a coincidence that Folken had found them. But she couldn't tell Eriya. Her sister wouldn't understand, didn't want to understand. "We're slaves of the mind, that's all we are to him. He doesn't care."
"That still doesn't give you the right to lie."
Naria shrugged. "I didn't lie. I just did not mention the entire truth."
The silver twin suddenly looked up, startled, when Eriya's slim fingers closed tightly around her arm. "We can't interfere."
Naria angrily shrugged her off. "Whoever said that? Why do we have this ability if we can't use it?" She saw red and couldn't stop the words that came out of her mouth, words that ate away at her and only fed her anger, words she had wanted to speak for a long time but never had the courage to voice them. "I'm sure you would think differently if you didn't have something that kept you here."
"You're just jealous that Folken chose me!" Eriya was so quick to reply that it felt as if the words had been on her mind for too long as well. She stepped closer and bared her teeth as she spoke. "I see the way you look at him. I know what you feel because it is exactly what I feel for him."
The truth hurt worse than Naria had expected. She couldn't mask her expression quickly enough and her pain must have shown clearly for Eriya clapped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide in shock. She regretted what she had said, it was written all over her face. It didn't, however, make her words any less true.
"Do you enjoy it?" Naria's voice was cold as she looked at her sister. The urge was strong to cause her just as much pain. For now it was enough to know that she could, if she wanted to. "What does it feel like to be so much luckier than I am, to be so much happier and content?"
"Naria..." Eriya reached out a hand, her eyes sad and full of regret, but Naria stepped away from her.
"You disappoint me, sister." The back of her eyes pricked and she fought down the tears.
"Yes, because I'm not what you want me to be!" Eriya's voice had risen with every word. There was so much anger in her tone that it surprised Naria. "I know what you're thinking. It's written all over your face every time you look at me. You should know by now that you cannot keep secrets from me just like I cannot keep secrets from you."
Naria averted her eyes. She hadn't expected to be so easy to read, had thought she was able to conceal her feelings, mask her anger and disappointment. She had underestimated her sister and the link they shared. It was one of those moments when she wished they weren't sisters, weren't twins, weren't seers, wished they could lie to each other.
It felt like the moment she had realized Folken would never belong to her and Eriya had looked at her and had known and the pity in her eyes was worse than any humiliation she had ever had to endure.
"But I'm not like you." Eriya's voice was softer now and she smiled sadly when Naria looked up. "I'm not strong. I'm not brave enough to fight. We're so different."
"No, we're not." She knew the answer to the question she was going to ask but she needed to hear it from her sister. "Would you come with me if I left this ship, these people?"
The silence said more than all her words ever could. She shouldn't be disappointed. She shouldn't be hurt. She shouldn't be jealous. But although she had expected it, Naria had still hoped. She couldn't help but hope that maybe Eriya would decide in favour of her sister, that she would leave everything behind for her, that she would make the sacrifice.
Naria knew she would make that sacrifice herself for her sister. And it was painful to accept that Eriya would not make it for her. She would make it for someone else. They weren't so different after all.
"No, you wouldn't. You would stay because of him. And I'm staying because of you." As much as she wanted to hate her sister for betraying her like that, she couldn't make herself. She loved Eriya with all her flaws and selfishness. It was okay to love her more than she was getting in return. It wasn't about being loved. "See, we're both stupid."
"I'm sorry."
"No, you're not. But I forgive you anyway." Naria looked at her sister, her tears dried before they had been able to fall. "Have you never wondered what would happen if we acted instead of merely watching?"
"I have." Eriya rubbed her arms absentmindedly and Naria noticed the goose bumps there. "But there is a reason why we aren't allowed to. It is too much power for a single person. It has always been. It is a responsibility."
Naria wondered what her sister was afraid of. She had to be curious. Didn't she want to know why they shouldn't interfere? Didn't she want to know if they actually had a choice? Didn't she want to break out? "I am tired of being his toy."
"You should still tell him what we saw."
There was that disapproving, patronizing tone again and Naria could barely suppress a snarl. "It's not certain, Eriya. It changes. The future is so fickle; I've never seen anything like it before. The moment I tell him, it's going to change again."
"You know what I think?" Eriya had circled around her so that they stood shoulder to shoulder, not touching, looking in opposite directions. "I think it's because of you."
Naria turned her head and stared at her sister's profile. "What is because of me?"
"The instability. You are changing your mind continuously. That's why you can't see anything." And with that Eriya left her standing in the hallway. The gentle swish of her dress was the only noise in the twilight as she walked away.
Merle watched where the stars dipped into dark water. The constellations had slightly changed, familiar ones had vanished and some had appeared that she didn't recognize at all. She had never been so far south. Allen had never sought out adventures but rather sailed His Gulf, as he liked to call it, familiar waters, waters where he knew the trading routes and hiding places, waters where he could ensure enough raid to feed his crew.
She was leaning over the railing and felt the spray on her face. It was quiet, most of the crew asleep under deck. Pulleys clinked and the water splashed against the hull of the ship.
The silence had woken her. She had missed Van's steady breathing beside her and found his hammock empty. Again. She hadn't heard him slipping out. She wondered if he had come to bed at all. He had been out these last nights and she couldn't remember if he had slept through a whole night since they had left Godashim. She wasn't sure if he had slept before that.
He tried to hide it, tried to smile and laugh at her jokes, tried to listen to her but she saw how tired he was, could smell it on him. His body craved sleep and he wouldn't let himself. Sometimes she found him in the middle of the day, asleep in a corner of the ship somewhere, wherever he had had to give in. She watched him then. It was a restless sleep and he would wake up screaming or shaking. She didn't ask him about it, she didn't need to. She knew what was keeping him awake, knew what made him afraid to fall asleep.
She leaned her head against the railing and sighed. With every passing hour they were getting closer to their destination, further south to a place that couldn't be found on any map but one. She had burned that map but she could recall every line of ink, every curve of every coastline and number. She had drawn that map for Dornkirk, she had drawn it for Allen and now both ships were racing each other.
She didn't know what awaited them. She didn't care. She had never understood it. She lived this life because of Van, not out of conviction. And even Van wasn't completely convinced of this way of life. Out of necessity it had become a habit but nothing more. He respected it but it hadn't touched his soul. He wasn't at home at sea. It was in the way he isolated himself and kept his distance to the crew and their zeal. He wasn't one of them and he never would be. It was like he felt that there was another life for him out there, like he felt that he belonged somewhere else.
It hurt her that she had to lie to Van. It hurt her that she knew all the answers to his questions but couldn't tell him. She didn't want the memories that he was seeking. But she didn't have a choice.
The wind carried a soft noise and her ears twitched when she picked it up. She turned and narrowed her eyes at the spot where a weight had been shifted, clothes had been ruffled, a breath had been taken, a heart was beating. Hitomi.
Hitomi stepped out of the shadows where Merle's cat eyes had found her easily through the darkness. She stopped a few feet away from the cat-girl and stared at her. Merle growled. Everything about Hitomi made her hair stand on end. The way she walked, the way she talked, the way she would sit in a room and stare and make Merle feel uncomfortable.
There was nothing special about that girl and yet she made Merle act in ways as if she had to prove something. She didn't want to admit it to herself but Hitomi was a rival. And the way Van reacted to her didn't help at all.
She had noticed how the relationship between them had changed. He had clearly disliked the girl in the beginning but Merle had felt that beneath his scorn and dislike, he had been the tiniest bit intrigued. Hitomi could handle a sword. She knew Vargas. She was a seer. She had saved Merle's life. Now the balance had changed and his curiosity for Hitomi outweighed his dislike. He hadn't noticed it but Merle saw it in the way he looked at Hitomi.
It was the way Merle wished he would look at her. She had been hoping for a long time that he would finally open his eyes and look at her, really look at her, and see what other men saw in her.
She was grateful for his utter trust in her, she knew it didn't come easily. She was grateful for the memories they shared, for the ease of their companionship. But she was willing to sacrifice all that if he would stop seeing her as family, as someone akin to a sister.
Hitomi's scent distracted her. The girl was nervous. Merle could smell it from across the deck.
"What do you want?" Her voice was hostile and cold. She didn't have to play pretend with Hitomi. The girl knew Merle couldn't stand her.
Hitomi hesitated, as if she was still deciding what to do. And then her lips thinned and her hands curled to fists at her side. "I want to know why you keep Van's past to yourself."
The words were like a punch in the stomach and all the color drained from Merle's face. "What are you talking about?"
"I know your dirty little secret." Hitomi narrowed her eyes and stepped closer. Her heartbeat steadied. "I saw you with his brother. I know that you're just pretending."
Hitomi's lips curled in a satisfied smile when she saw the expression on Merle's face. It was the expression of a culprit. Guilt. "You know who you are. You know who he is. I just don't know why you have kept it from him all this time."
"You know nothing." The words came out as a snarl as her lips peeled back over her teeth. Merle listened into the darkness, listening for a ruffle of clothes, a breath, a heartbeat, anything that would give away someone overhearing this conversation.
Only when she was sure that the man on duty was out of earshot and everyone else fast asleep, did she allow herself to feel disbelief. Merle's thoughts were running haywire as she tried to think of how Hitomi could have possibly found out. Her main worry had been about keeping the secret from Van, never that a third person could find out. Allen knew but that was it. He'd seen the crest on Van's sword and had come to the right conclusion.
Hitomi squared her shoulders and stepped closer. "I know what I saw. Why are you lying to him?"
It was not her place to judge. It was not her secret to know. She had no right to accuse Merle. "That is none of your business and you better stop poking your nose in things you have no clue about."
Merle's anger rang loud and clear with her words. She didn't care if she had to scream into Hitomi's face to make her understand and was disappointed when the girl didn't respond with equal vigor. Hitomi seemed to sense that yelling wouldn't get her anywhere, that yelling was what Merle expected her to do.
Instead her voice was soft, pleading. "It's eating him up. He doesn't sleep, did you know that? And he doesn't even smile at you anymore. You care about him. How can you bear that?"
Merle snarled and her hands curled to fists at her side. "Do you think it's easy? You've known him for a mere month. I've known him my entire life and I have been keeping this secret ever since. Do you think it's easy?"
The compassion Hitomi showed only fuelled Merle's anger. She wouldn't care if the girl felt so strongly about her own family, her country, her way of life. She wouldn't care if Hitomi felt so strongly about Allen, or Gaddes, or anyone else, anyone else but Van.
Jealousy flared white-hot inside Merle. Hitomi had no right to care. "How do you know? How did you find out?"
"I've had visions. I saw how Van met the blue haired man in that cave. I saw Van when he was young, calling the man his brother. And then I saw you, talking to Folken, begging him to stay with you."
Merle's eyes widened. Visions. So, the girl could see the future and the past and still she couldn't see everything. She had seen mere glimpses, a part of a picture that was so much bigger than she could ever grasp.
"So you see that the situation is quite complicated." Her laugh was humorless and echoed dully across the deck. "Believe me there is not one day that I don't think about telling him, that I don't feel guilty."
"But then why, Merle?" Merle wanted to shake Hitomi's sympathy off like an unwanted hand placed soothingly on her arm.
"You said you saw it. You know about his brother. Would you tell him?" Merle hesitated as she realized what it meant to have another one know. Allen had promised to keep the secret and she believed him. Merle suspected that Allen didn't care either way. "Are you going to tell him?"
Hitomi bit her lip and averted her eyes, staring off into the darkness. The silence stretched as Merle watched her, waiting for the slightest movement on her face that would give away her thoughts, that would give away her intent.
Relief washed through Merle when she saw the doubt on Hitomi's face. She knew that Van would find out eventually, knew that he would one day realize that she had been lying to him all this time, pretending. But it didn't have to be now. Merle would move heaven and earth to keep the secret as long as possible, pretend as long as possible.
Because she knew that if he ever found out, he would not forgive her. He had only ever trusted one person in his life and that person was abusing his trust. She didn't want to imagine that moment; it was in her dreams constantly, in her nightmares.
It wasn't necessary that he found out so soon. They were content here where they were now. The life he had forgotten would only cause him more pain. It wasn't what he was hoping for. Ignorance is bliss.
Merle broke the silence harshly, feeling more secure now as she saw that Hitomi was just as weak. "And there is so much more that you don't know. Van is so much more than he thinks he is. We're protecting him. It's better for him to not know."
Hitomi's eyes narrowed and Merle knew she had said too much. "Who else knows?"
"Allen knows. Some. Not all of it." She wondered how the girl had found out and when. And how much she knew. "How long have you known and when did you find out?"
"I..." Hitomi hesitated and Merle wondered why. "After we left Godashim. When I touched Van I saw him when he was younger, catching fish with his brother. And then I stumbled into you and I saw how you met Folken."
Hitomi had waited for more than a week to confront Merle about it. Why had she waited for so long? Why confront her now? And she didn't seem to know everything, hadn't managed to sneak into all of Merle's memories. The cat-woman shuddered. She didn't like the idea of someone prying in her mind for memories. It was too private, too personal.
"Don't you think he has a right to know? Don't you think he should decide?" There she was again, all self-righteous, as if she had never lied, had never made mistakes.
"No." Merle remembered the words of the seers she had met on the Oscuridad. She remembered what they had said about their powers, about them not being allowed to interfere. Did the same apply to Hitomi?
But if it applied to her as well, if she had known she wasn't allowed to act, Merle wouldn't be here now. Van had told her that she owed her life to Hitomi. She rather not know.
Merle averted her eyes, angry. Angry because she couldn't be mad at Hitomi, because she owed her life to the girl, angry because Hitomi wasn't expecting anything in return. "You don't know the whole picture. Just stay out of it."
"Merle, I ..."
Something caught Hitomi's eye and she trailed off. She looked up and her eyes widened when feathers rained down around her. They were snow-white, illuminating the darkness around them. She caught one with her hands and marvelled at its softness. There was something in Merle's eyes that she couldn't place.
The cat-woman turned her head and Hitomi started when someone suddenly dropped down beside her from a spar above. The scream never left her lips when she recognized Van who stepped beside her, facing Merle.
"Merle." It wasn't a greeting. It was a warning. Merle had noticed how he had stepped between her and Hitomi, shielding the girl, sensing the tension between the two women. And he wanted Merle to back down.
Merle narrowed her eyes at him and her voice was acid. She was hurt that he was protecting Hitomi from her. As if there was a need. As if it were his job. As if he cared. "It's alright, Van. She was just about to leave."
He turned to look at Hitomi and something passed across his face when he saw the feather she had unconsciously clasped against her chest. Something that made Merle recoil.
"I better go." Hitomi hesitated a moment before she broke eye contact and stepped away from Van. She cast Merle a meaningful look, one he did not miss. "Good night."
As soon as Hitomi was out of earshot Merle rounded on Van, her nails sinking into his shoulder. "Have you been eavesdropping?"
Her heart thudded wildly, the blood roaring in her ears. What if he heard what they had been talking about?
Genuine hurt passed across his face at the accusation. He shrugged off her hand. "No, I just got back."
The relief that washed through her almost made her cry. She wasn't ready to face his anger yet. She reached out her hand and touched his arm, making him stop. A moment of hesitation and then she heard him sigh and knew they were okay.
His embrace was warm and familiar when she leaned against him and his arms circled around her. "You should be more careful. She could have seen you." Merle pressed her face against his chest. She didn't want Hitomi to know. It was the only secret he only shared with her. "Where did you go?"
His hand stroked her hair. She closed her eyes and heard his voice rumble in his chest. "Not far. There is nothing out here."
"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?" She was hurt. It felt like he didn't trust her.
"I had to think." His hand stilled on her head. "I wanted to be alone."
Merle pushed slightly away and looked up at him. With her fingertip she softly traced the dark circles under his eyes. "Van, you need to sleep. You look so tired."
He took her hand in his and shook his head. "There is no time now. We better wake the crew. A storm is brewing in the south and it's going to strike before sunrise."
The storm struck before dawn in the darkest hour of the night, just as Van had predicted. It was by far stronger than he had hoped.
It started with a light rain that barely stirred the sea but soon the wind grew stronger and the rain harder. The clouds covered up the moon and soaked up all the light. There was no difference between the sky and the sea, there was no up and down, there was only wind and water and the hope to make it through in one piece.
The rain hammered heavily onto the deck and the wind roared and tore at the sails. Waves mercilessly pounded the hull of ship and sent it swaying and staggering along its course. Lightning split the sky.
Van was in the rigging, trying to save what the storm hadn't yet torn to shreds. The sails were soaked through, heavy with water and they were barely managing to strike them. The wind whipped cold rain into his face and he felt the drops like needles against his skin. He worked without seeing what his hands were doing. He could barely open his eyes against the rain.
He had tied himself to the spar with a rope and he could feel the storm tearing at his clothes, intent on throwing him off the spar. There had been storms, bad ones, storms that had seemed to last forever. This one was different. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night.
A few lamps had been lit on deck and on the spars but the light was almost completely soaked up by the darkness around them. He could make out blurred shapes on the ground below him but couldn't hear anything above the roar of the wind. When he had fastened the sail to the spar, he untied himself and went back down to find Allen.
He stumbled into Gaddes wrapped in an oil jacket. Van had discarded his own and was drenched to his bones. "Where is Allen?"
A wave hit the bulwarks on the starboard side and the water poured across the deck like a river. It washed the ground from under Van's feet and he held onto a pile of boxes.
Gaddes scrambled to his feet. "Cap'n's with Kio, trying to keep the course. Tie yourself to the mast, dammit, or you'll be washed off the deck."
The wind changed its direction and the rhythm of the waves shifted. They stopped tossing the ship around like a toy and instead grew the size of mountains. After tying one of the ropes that were fastened to the main mast around his waist, Van climbed the stairs to the helm. He had to hold onto the railing tightly to remain on his feet. Lightening split the sky and he stared when a wall of water suddenly appeared out of the darkness.
The ship climbed steadily and when they had reached the crown Van saw in the brief moment that lightning danced across the sky once more that they were being pushed into a mountain range made of water. It stretched to the horizon, cluttered with peeks and valleys and gorges. The waves were higher than he had ever seen them, towering above the ship, looking like made of bricks, the water almost vertical before they broke.
Van stumbled to the rudder as the ship slid down the lee of the wave. The waves would crush the ship, it was only a matter of bad timing.
"Allen!" he yelled and slipped on the wet ground. He could taste blood where he had bitten his tongue as he had fallen.
"Van, go under deck!" Allen didn't look up. He was braced against the rudder, trying to make the ship stay on course.
"There is still sail to strike. Where did everybody go?" Van had to shout although he was standing right beside Allen. The wind still tore most of the words straight away from his lips, never to be heard.
Allen turned his head. "The sails are lost. You'll be blown away if you try to strike them. Go under deck and secure the cargo. It's no good if we keel over because of loose boxes."
An order was an order but it had Van worried because, so far, Allen had never sacrificed the sails. He stumbled down the stairs onto the main deck and ran into someone cloaked in a bright yellow oil jacket. The shoulders were frail as he grabbed them and he recognized Hitomi under the oil hat.
He felt an irrational amount of panic sweep through him as he held her tightly while trying to keep his balance. The ship was bucking beneath his feet like a wild horse and there was no rope around her waist that tied her to the ship. "What are you doing out here?"
"There is water down in the cabins!"
Her lips were moving but he couldn't hear a sound. He had to strain his ears to hear her and leaned in closer. "What?"
She clutched at his waist to stop herself from falling. He could feel her cold lips at the shell of his ear. "Water. Under deck."
His eyes widened. Had the sea torn a hole in the ship? Maybe a wave had smashed a window. He grabbed her arm and dragged her towards Gaddes who was tying up boxes still. "Gaddes! We're going under deck to take care of the water."
Thunder and lightning clashed above him and as he looked up, his jaw dropped. A wave like a solid wall was approaching and he instantly knew that they wouldn't be able to pass without getting crushed if Allen left the ship parallel. The wave would break above their heads and smash the Lady in halves. He took off and stumbled back across the deck towards the helm. His yells were drowned in the roaring of the wind and in water.
He slipped on the wet deck twice before he was close enough for the men to hear him. "Allen, Kio, to starboard!"
Allen and Kio looked at Van, looked in the direction he was pointing and threw themselves against the rudder. The ship obeyed reluctantly and turned sharply. They were riding the wave now, going with the current. The stern of the Lady lifted as the bow fell with the swell of solid water that was steadily catching up with them. He could feel the water roll beneath the ship and he knew they were too slow. He encircled the railing with both arms, holding on tightly. He saw Hitomi stumble and Gaddes trying to catch her, then the wave broke above their heads.
The noise of the wind was instantly gone, replaced by eerie aquatic silence. He felt the water push up his nose, felt it pull at his arms, his clothes, its watery arms circling tightly around his ribcage and pressing the air from his lungs.
The pressure was suddenly gone and he gasped for air, looking down at the deck below. Gaddes and a few other men lay tumbled in a heap between a few boxes. Hitomi's bright yellow oil jacket wasn't among them. His heart raced as his eyes searched wildly. He found her clinging to the bulwarks, the lower half of her body dangling into the sea. His cold fingers held the hilt of his sword tightly as he cut the rope that bound him to the ship.
It all happened quickly. His heart sank when the ship dipped on port and Hitomi's fingers slipped off the bulwarks. The sea swallowed her greedily and without thinking, Van flung himself off the afterdeck towards the place where he had watched Hitomi disappear.
He didn't hear Merle's cry of utter anguish as she stumbled on deck and saw him jump, didn't see Gaddes barely able to get a hold of the cat woman as she tried to hurl herself over the guardrail.
Van didn't see or hear anything, he only felt the impact as he hit the water. It was like a blow to his entire body. A wave tugged him down at once and he fought, gasping as he broke the surface.
"Hitomi!"
He turned, treading water, trying to keep his balance as the sea frothed angrily around him. He spotted her flailing arms shortly before another wave pressed her down. She was gone when he reached the spot where he had seen her. He inhaled and dove. His arms reached blindly out in front of him and his fingers instantly curled when they hit an obstacle.
Her oil jacket slipped through his fingers and he went up again, gulping air as fast as he could. He dove for her a second time and felt the strength drain quickly out of his legs. He felt her at his fingertips and with one last stroke he could wrap an arm around her. She was heavy as he pulled her with him. Through the churning water he saw lightning illuminate the clouds. The surface was close.
When he emerged again, coughing salt water and gasping for breath, there was only wet darkness around him.
Hitomi awoke to sand beneath her cheek and a beast of a headache. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes until she saw swirling colors. The pain that pressed against her forehead only increased. With a moan she opened her eyes and squinted against the sunlight.
Above the dull thud of her headache she heard the gentle swish of the sea. Waves rolled softly onto a white beach, nipping at her toes. She sat up and images of the night before tumbled down on her like bricks. She held her head in her hands and gasped for breath. They didn't make sense.
"Good morning."
She whirled around, a scream stuck in her throat. Van sat in the sand behind her. Barefoot, holding a fruit out to her that looked vaguely familiar.
"Piscus. A little sour but it'll quench some of your thirst." He nudged her with the fruit when all she did was stare and she automatically took it only to put it down on the ground beside her.
"What are you doing here? What are we doing here?" She looked around and took in the beach that stretched on forever and then curled around a cliff, took in the palm trees that bowed deeply until their leaves almost touched the ground, took in the silence. "What happened?"
With a few, quick words Van summed up the events of the night before and her eyes widened. She was on her feet instantly.
"I --…what?!" She swayed, dizzy in the head. Van stood to steady her but she pushed him forcefully away. "And you jumped after me? Why would you do that? Were you out of your mind?"
Van narrowed his eyes as he caught her wrists before she could beat his chest. She groaned and shook her head.
His tone was dry when he spoke. "I apologize for saving your life."
"You don't understand. Merle is going to skin me alive." Hitomi stared at the turquoise sea that stretched to the horizon, flat and smooth like the surface of a mirror. There was nothing out there, no islands, no rocks, no ship. "If I ever see her again that is."
Van stepped beside her and held the piscus out in front of her again. She took it and realizing how thirsty she was, downed the sour liquid inside the fruit. "What now?"
"I have no idea."
A/N: Yes yes, that was quick. I'm just as surprised as you are :P Thanks so much to everybody who reviewed! I'm looking forward to reading what you think ^^
The title of the chapter came to my mind when thinking of that same play by Shakepeare, yes. It has nothing to do with the chapter though. Just to clear that up.
On a second note, for all you pirate lovers out there, the best pirate video game (and one of the best video games in general) has been revamped and is available for purchase again: The Secret of Monkey Island is back! Guybrush Threepwood has never looked better ^^ So if you're up to fighting bloodthirsty piranha poodles, insulting the sword master right out of her socks and sail to Monkey Island (tm) to rescue your one true love out of the clutches of the evil ghost pirate LeChuck, then this should be on your wish list to Santa, arrr.