A/N So sorry about the delay posting this chapter, I was writing two at the same time, events could have happened a different way, but in the end this is the way Shepard is reliving it, who am I to argue. Good news is the next chapter is written and only needs a revise and edit, so you won't have long to wait

Chapter 14

A thrumming vibration pulsed through her body making Shepard aware of her surroundings through the medium of raw pain. It was so acute it had dragged her from wherever her mind had taken her… but as awareness settled like a thunderous black sky, her mind railed against accepting she was here… again…

'No… no… I got out… I'm on the fucking Normandy' Shepard was doing her best to shout angrily; 'I got out…' she ended quietly almost in a sob of defeat.

She tried to calm herself, using some mediation techniques, but that was problematic given her chosen technique was 'following the breath' and she had little to follow.

Then trying logic and reason… which ended in the frustration of still not being able to piece together where she was or how she had gotten here.

"Feel into in Livvie" her father's voice from somewhere, strong, encouraging and like a safety blanket for her tortured mind, "don't let it control you, it's your pain, your fear, own it, embrace it, then you're back in the driving set." A brief glimpse of his eyes a light touch on her head and he was gone, back into the void of the dead.

Shepard noticed the memory had triggered a connection with that old place of pain and she was crying, or rather she was being shaken by harsh raking sobs, and the deep old wound of her loss took her as it had when she was fifteen.

It was the finality of death that struck Shepard hardest… never… never again, seeing them, hearing their voice, mostly never realising which would be their last conversation, no last word of love or regret…

And it was Liara she was thinking of, feeling the loss of… not knowing if she was alive or dead, if Shepard had let her down, got her killed, it was tearing her apart more than physical pain or the mental anguish at her own situation.

Shepard felt a wave of exhaustion flood through her, accompanied by the familiar drifting away, upwards towards the escape she seemed to be able to still, just, craft for herself.

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She felt the sun on her back and sand between her toes, cliffs at the rear of the beach seemed to be occupied by thousands of white birds, a lot like Earth gulls, flying in and out, calling their harsh, guttural, shouts that Shepard always found endearing.

Swirling in elegant circles up into the blue Shepard allowed her eyes to follow and tried to feel what it would be like to be riding the thermals with them.

Shepard's attention was drawn to the groups of people on the beach, all enjoying a perfect day, some swimming in the clear blue waters which were now lapping around her ankles.

She started to look, search the beach for her friends, her team… Shepard became distraught; franticly searching for Liara… she was on the beach somewhere… Shepard knew it in her bones and it terrified her… the gulls screeched louder and louder as her efforts became more desperate running up to and then passing groups of all species, young, old, babies, searching, searching… behind her black shadows closed in over the sky, turning the golden sand she had just walked over black and the people she passed desiccated into shrivelled, long dead mummified remains as the darkness flowed across them.

Shepard felt fear and panic grip, cold, vicelike, both running away from the gathering darkness chasing her and trailing it in her wake… she was the focus of this destruction and also focused it on all she touched.

As the beach and the gulls cries faded to mist in front of her she began to run, stumbling, heavy armour weighing down, slowing her down, pistol in hand but when she tried to fire behind her it just let out a screech… and she was so frightened now she didn't want to look behind… every pore of her body was sweating fear… the sense of something, someone, the darkness closing in on her, chasing her down… closer until she felt it about to engulf her… wrapping her in its void… ending all hope of saving anyone… anything…

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Shepard jerked awake and sat straight up, unfocussed eyes picking out the gentle safety lighting around the door of the cabin, the soft glow from her desk and the holographic interface. She put her face in her hands and steadied her breathing, feeling the warmth of Liara's body next to her.

When she had steadied herself she looked over at Liara's peaceful, sleeping form. Shepard gently touched the blue shoulder with the back of one of her hands then carefully slipped out of bed.

Pulling on black vest that showed off her trap's, pec's and deltoids perfectly, Shepard allowed herself a smile at the thought Liara would have enjoyed the sight as she often did at times of dress and undress. She zipped up her hoodie and stepped out of her cabin straight to the galley to find some coffee.

The ship was on the night quarter shift which delivered only basic, essential, crewing, and the equivalent of a night watch. Time was… well always time… but once Humanity joined the galactic community it was all Galactic Mean Time and atomic clocks. All time across the Galaxy was measured in GMT and the 'day' length bore no resemblance to any particular planet or species cycle. It had been taken as an average of all known data at the time of setting. It worked, it was essential, and after all on ships there was no night and day, just the everlasting black and passing light show.

There was local time of course but very much like the old Earth time zones, all local time was superseded by Galactic. Local 'days' were much more likely to be recognised as the typical light and dark event planet side but the date was also proscribed using the Galactic Common Era.

The Earth based Circadian Rhythms, still present on her blue home, gave way to Free-running Rhythm amongst the spacer community, and the rhythms of other stars on colonies across Alliance Space. Adjustment for some who joined the Navy was occasionally very difficult but the transition was eased with meds.

Mug in hand she began her 'tour'. The Normandy had had some internal space remodelling to prepare them for their unique mission but they were still constrained by the overall size of the ship. It was a tight fit, with fifty crew rather than the usual forty, the decision to leave the mess hall, which included a lounge area as big as possible had been a good one.

Sleeper pods and racks (like those the ground fire team used) were only for actual sleep, all other off duty time and relaxation took place in the mess. It worked well to ensure the different teams had a chance to mix to together, they all had their own roles but they were one crew and it felt like that anytime she walked through the mess almost anytime apart from this most quiet of all shifts.

The comms/conference room, now housing QEC rather than FTLC, doubled as a base for the information, research and analysis team led by Liara, who spent most of her working time in the room with her two comms/scientist/tech specialists. Shepard still also used it for the confidential mission briefings.

In the hold they had installed a much expanded armoury; it still had the Mako but also a Kodiak; this area also accommodated the marine team, security team and Wrex.

Shepard walked into engineering and for a fleeting second saw the ghost of Tali'Zorah vas Normandy standing at her console, then it was gone and Shepard's eyes were drawn to the truly beautiful Tantalus Drive. She walked over and spoke to the young engineer on babysitting duty; Carter was a new addition and hadn't met the young Quarian but knew of her skill and bravery.

Heavy shouldered Shepard made her way to the command centre and on up to the cockpit. Sitting in the co-pilot seat she let her eyes relax and let the sight of the galaxy passing faster than light past the windows soothe her as it always did.

If the comms control room was Liara's 'office' then this was Shepard's. She spent most of her time up here when not in meetings or engaged in other duties. She ran the ship from here and took a few of the pilot shifts when Joker was off duty. Shepard felt more at peace here than anywhere else on the ship, it was as if she could drop into some other level of consciousness where her duties were clear and she was fully able to deliver them.

Doubts, constant questions about intel, patterns, where, what, who… why… could be tamed, her mind clear, with all the chaos happening unconsciously, like a background programme.

Back in the cabin Liara had gotten out of bed as soon as Shepard left the room, she knew that sometimes her troubled lover needed space to herself. Liara started working at the console but would make sure she was back in bed in time for Shepard to 'wake' her with a breakfast Asari tea.

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The Normandy, still in stealth mode, settled into an orbit above Lorek. The Kodiak had undergone a 'paint job' with all alliance markings removed and a well-worn, shabby appearance applied.

Garrus and his security team made up of the Turian CSec officers climbed aboard wearing second hand armour, procured for the mission, and having made whatever adjustments they could to their physical appearance. They would pick up a shuttle on the surface and head for Omega. They were going to operate undercover and try to find out about rumours (from intercepted extranet comms) of a disturbance that had involved human slaves.

But the real interest lay in the fact that Aria T'Loak herself had become involved, personally, and there had been no further information about the incident. This triggered the flag on the intel, the silence was highly unusual as when the Queen of Omega got personally involved she was always sending a message about her power and influence.

Shepard would give Garrus and his team a couple of weeks and then head for Omega herself, in the meantime the Normandy would be working its way along the edge of the Perseus Veil scanning for any trace, looking for any indications as to what happened to the Reaper corpse and the artefact.

Then the Normandy would head back into the Omega Nebula and work its way through the six systems contained within it ending with Sahrabarik, home to the Omega station.

Their routine on hitting a new system was the same, a full fly through and multiple scans of the system space and every planet. Next was a visit groundside to every facility, there was a lot of mining activity, every settlement, no matter how large or small, or any permanent orbiting platform.

Shepard's team were posing as a group of merc's who had been hired to find out information, unusual activity, was looking for someone (who always remained un-named), trying to buy or track down strange or advanced tech, the 'job' they were on would depend on how well it would play locally.

Like Garrus and his team they had second hand, dumbed down armour, and Shepard kept her helmet on as much as possible, there were a lot of Batarian's around who would have queued up to take down the 'hero' of Elysium and the 'butcher' or Torfan.

Shepard was not used to hiding from her reputation or her deeds, and it did not sit well with her, she was in a foul temper most of the time they were groundside, but she knew they would learn nothing if everyone they met knew she was not only a Spectre but also 'that' Alliance officer.

She also found it torture to be around so many obvious slavers and pirates and not be able to do anything about it… to them… Shepard had to walk away more than once in the process of listening to 'the last raid' or 'the next job' to stop herself from instinctively pulling her shotgun and 'taking their fukin smiling bastard heads off' as she had said to Brewster later when they were back on the shuttle.

Wrex 'led' the team and only Dr Goto regularly joined them, Liara would have drawn too much attention and they were already looking a bit out of place as it was. Shepard also needed Ash on the Normandy just in case anything went wrong or they, somehow, despite their stealth, ran into trouble topside.

Dr Kasumi Goto was not only a tech and science genius but was very handy in a tight fix. She had spent time 'living in the real world on her wits' when asked around the mess table how she came to be so useful in a fight, after a particularly close call when her hacking and stealth kill ability made the difference between amusing story and serious injury.

They worked their way through the systems and results were mixed but the initial reception was always hostile. From hostile and aggressive it would go one of two ways. Wrex would be able to persuade the local's that they could benefit from the transaction or he would unleash hell on their heads and beat the answers out of them, cheaper for him and more fun for his Krantt.

Wrex was a reasonably well know merc so they had credibility, and his reputation assured them respect once the 'ground rules' had been established.

By far the most interesting information that they had picked up was related to increased activity of a mysterious race that lived on the other side of the Omega 4 relay. And their interest seemed to be focussed on Human's.

They had been named the Collectors because of their bizarre, even for the Terminus System, trading requests which always involved live specimens in exchange for advanced tech.

Appearing and then disappearing back through the Omega 4 relay their visits were rare but certainly stories of their trading dated back at least two hundred years. Kasumi got a particularly old and ravaged looking Batarian pirate, after a considerable amount of drink, to talk about the contact he had with them over sixty years ago.

"We heard they wanted twenty left handed Salarian's… everyone knew the reward would be good, I had family who worked with them the last time they showed up… we got them their Salarian's but a merc gang had already turned up with ten…" all four of his bleary eyes looked wistful and he was swaying slightly in his seat, he smiled and continued "so we agreed to share the reward… ha stupid Krogan's, didn't see it coming… good day… we got all the tech, sold it for big creds, ten valuable Salarian slaves left over from trade… only wanted twenty… and got to kill stupid Krogan mercs… ha."

The grinding of teeth and low growls were coming from both Shepard and Wrex, the Batarian didn't notice and Kasumi was pumping him for a description of the tech they had received for the trade, trying to work out how advanced, for the time, it would have been.

On the way back to the Normandy they decided to do a very quick run through the Amada system and then head for the Batarian planet of Lorek and its capital Jalnor. The planet had a population of around four and a half million and the capital was a proper city so they would spend a couple of days following up on the increased Collector activity.

Back on the Normandy Shepard set a course for the Amada system and scheduled a review conference for a the next morning, also sending a request for any and all information relating to unexplained Human disappearances, patters in similarities of people who may have gone missing over the last three months, that was when the Collectors had most recently re-appeared.

Something was stirring in the back of Shepard's mind, something just on the edge of her awareness was triggered from the descriptions of the Collectors… something that had fear attached to it… Shepard didn't like that, she didn't 'do' fear.

She headed for her cabin to take a long shower which she hoped would relieve some of the tension that had built up over the two weeks they had been searching the Veil and latterly the Omega Nebula.

Standing bent forward so that her hands were on the back wall of the shower and the hot spray was hitting the back of her neck Shepard felt a familiar pair of hands and then arms wrap themselves around her waist. Liara pressed her body tight against her lover and Shepard straightened up to make full contact with the Asari's breasts.

Liara's hands moved expertly across her lover's body, caressing, teasing, exploring… Shepard felt her desire and need burn through her body and take her breath away, and just as she began to turn around Liara drifted her fingers down… down… tracing outer lips… gently drifting between inner lips and slowly back up to where a hard, burning, throbbing clit was sending pulses of pleasure through Shepard's body…

Lying on the bed, bodies intertwined, still damp from the shower, Shepard allowed herself a deep, relaxed and satisfied sigh. Liara kissed Shepard's neck and ran her fingers through still slightly wet hair.

"I would like for us to join in the sea when we visit my home on Thessia," Liara said quietly, almost shyly and Shepard was reminded again that her Asari was still, most of the time the shy, awkward, unsure young woman she had met in a mine not very long ago.

"That sounds lovely… hey why didn't we think of that when we had our leave," Shepard said and leaned down to kiss Liara's forehead, 'but I do love it when you come and find me in the shower,' she said tenderly with a smile.

They moved into each other, breast to breast and thighs against each other's heat, they began kissing, deep, long, searching kisses drifting them into another joining.

"Commander you have a priority emergency message call from Admiral Hackett" Ash's voice rang around the cabin.

Shepard pulled herself back from Liara with a small sigh of regret, and smiling down at Liara said, "Copy that Ash, join me in the comms room, I'll be there in ten."

"Aye, aye skipper."

Shepard rolled off the bed and stood looking down at the smiling Asari who was doing her best to look as tempting as possible, at least in Shepard's head Liara was trying to look tempting, and succeeding… Shepard inwardly shook herself to bring her mind back to the task in hand.

"Come on you, might as well find out what particular shit we will have to deal with, priority calls from Hackett rarely bring anything but trouble for me," Shepard ended with a small laugh but they both knew she wasn't joking.

Ten minutes later she was standing in front of the QEC as Hackett's holographic image sparked to life in front of her.

After snapping a precision salute to the Admiral, Shepard stood stiffly at ease. Ash stood ramrod straight at attention to Shepard's left and Liara was sitting down on the side of the conference table looking concerned.

"Commander we have uncovered intelligence that indicates an attempt to assassinate the Batarian ambassador, Jath'Amon, is planned and will be carried out while he is on the Citadel negotiating with the Council. I need you to start looking into any connections within the Terminus System, see what you can uncover."

"Do you need me back at the Citadel?" she asked and was already calculating how long it would take to get across, three possibly four days with maxed out speeds, hardly a lightening response.

"No Commander you're too far away but you are in the right place to see if you can get a lead on the terrorist group that comprise the threat. The Council has pulled all Spectres onto the Citadel who are within a day's travel, CSec has deployed special teams and we have a special ops undercover team that will be landing in a few minutes." Hackett said and then in a gruffer tone of voice, "I don't like it Commander, the Batarian's suddenly want to talk peace with the Council, something isn't right."

"Agreed Admiral, what do they have to gain for a start, and can you really see the Batarian Hegemony making nice with us, which is what they'd have to do to get back in with the Council. Sir, with all due respect," Shepard felt Ash shift slightly next to her; they both knew that 'with all due respect' from a marine usually meant the opposite.

"Let me guess what your about to ask," Hackett cut in, he was so hard to read but she didn't detect any annoyance, "why am I so concerned about a threat to the Batarian Ambassadors life?"

"Well, yes sir, given the… our current relationship with the Batarian's," she replied slightly uncomfortably suddenly realising her response had been all Alliance and not a thought for her Spectre role.

"My concern is the protection of the Council, if this is to be carried out on the Citadel then it may well put the Council in danger as they are meeting fairly consistently both in private and in public throughout the Ambassadors stay," Hackett finished.

"That does put a different completion on it," Shepard was annoyed with herself that she hadn't caught this as a possibility earlier, "I'll make straight for Lorek and then on to Omega, Garrus is already operating on Omega I will put him on this immediately."

"Thank you Commander, we will keep you updated, let me know if you manage to shake anything loose, Hackett out."

Shepard and Ash joined Liara at the table, it was late evening and by the time they reached Lorek it would be morning but they could start revisiting the information they had gathered to analyse it for these new circumstances.

It was agreed Liara would call her team together and start working with Arcturus on intelligence, Liara would also ask Kasumi to join them. Ash would go and brief the ground team and Shepard would brief Garrus.

"Joker set a course for Lorek and get me Garrus on comms," Shepard said to her almost ever present pilot.

"Aye, aye Commander."

And as Ash went out to prepare the ground and ask Wrex to join them in the comms room, Shepard and Liara waited for the link to Garrus to go live for a briefing and any update on what he had uncovered over the last couple of days on Omega.'

As the Normandy turned away from the Amada system, a new and very dangerous enemy was looking for Shepard, silently, patiently waiting in the dark, waiting to bring the darkness to Shepard…