A/N: Not too late and I hope you guys like it. ^^ Six weeks have no officially started, (YES!) so that means a lot more chapters will be coming your way hopefully quicker too. Thank you for all of the subscriptions and reviews; you guys keep me going! :)
Chapter 13: Is There Something Missing?
EPOV
Dear diary,
I guess I'm writing to you a) about my messed up head and b) about last night's events. (I've taken the fact that it is now technically morning; around 2am or so if you want to be specific) I'd probably be thinking a lot clearer if I could actually get to sleep – but I just had too much on my mind to even begin to think about that.
I paused, tapping the ball-point pen within my grasp softly against the smooth, almost crease-free paper. My mind had suddenly gone blank. The whole reason I'd dug out my diary was to calm myself and ultimately get some much-needed shut eye before Jenna freaked and realised that I'd only just got in. Sure, I was seventeen but Jenna was like a second mum to me – I wasn't usually out so late. I stared down at the page within my hands and with a sharp jolt of inspiration, I began to write again.
Lately, this entire situation has been messing with my head (You honestly do not know how literal I actually mean that) and It's scaring me. I just want things to be back to how they used to be – no-one getting hurt, no boyfriend's brother to contend with... Just Stefan and I.
I sighed out loud before continuing.
I don't know diary, Damon's always been a factor. Since the moment I met him in that dark, deserted hall to when I'd nearly let him kiss me as he'd held me in his arms... I know if he ever read this, he'd use it to his advantage no doubt. But I hope he never does, because truly, all hell would break loose. I couldn't let that happen, I wouldn't. I loved Stefan more than my own life – I would do anything and everything for him. Yes, we had our rough patches, but so did every single couple that had ever been together; we'd make it through this; I'm sure of it.
Once again I stopped writing and frowned. A thought lurked within my mind and before I could think about what I was doing, I wrote it down. I raised my pen from the last mark it'd made on the ivory coloured paper and stared at the words that now seemed to be screaming up at me.
But there's a part of me that always has and always will belong to Damon. I'm not sure what exactly I feel for him, but I can't let myself find out.
Just then I heard a low thud across the room and it seemed to be coming from my window. I jumped a degree but soon found myself frozen as a realisation dawned on me.
Someone or something was at my window –another thud- and it was trying to get inside.
SPOV
And before I could even begin to react to my brother's taunting words – he had disappeared. Just like I knew he would, just like he always did. The sensible part within my being ordered me to suppress the anger that was now contaminating my entire body – but I wasn't in a making-sense mood. My fists came down hard against the rough bark of the tree trunk. Why the hell had I allowed Damon to get to me like this? This was in a nut shell, the exact reaction that Damon had wanted. It couldn't be true, could it?
Elena had spent the night in Damon's bed?
Though, Damon was never one to lie; I knew that from over a century of having to live with him. It made sense that Damon would accidently-on-purpose misinterpret my words; he'd take any excuse to spend extra time with Elena, even if she wasn't conscious. May be nothing had happened, may be she'd simply been sleeping in his bed and that was it. Well, that's what I would force myself to think any way. Elena and I had trust issues, I knew that. And I hated it. But it'd been a rough time for us lately; I knew I was mostly to blame for it.
Finally, I withdrew my hands from the wood and exhaled deeply before sighing. I drew my eyes upward to the night sky. It was about to rain any second now and I wasn't sure whether it was Damon, or simply from causes. I hoped it wasn't Damon. If I saw him again tonight, I swear I would not be able to control my actions...
'But what could you do Stefan? What could you really do that would even set a hair out of place on Damon's head? Think logically here. He's faster and much stronger than you, what do you have that he doesn't?'
I thought for a moment, standing there in the gloomy darkness, I thought.
'What do you have that he doesn't, but that he really wants?'
And then it struck me. What an earth was I doing out here thrashing tree after tree? While I was out here feeling sorry for myself over something that may or may not be true, Damon could be anywhere; he could be with her... Elena. My Elena. That was the final straw for me, the kick that was needed to get my head straight. Whatever Damon said, whatever he did... It didn't matter. Elena was still mine and I wouldn't give her up without a fight. I'd show her how much I loved her, how much I knew she was worth fighting for.
And then we'd see who was laughing. In over one hundred and forty or so years I'd never felt so much rage towards another person as I had to my elder brother, and right now, I'd had enough. I, Stefan Salvatore would no longer be someone of who people mocked and casted onward. I'd be strong and powerful, and I'd do it for her. I turned away from the scene where I'd allowed the animal inside of me to take over and hastily made my way through the thick forest and continued. Just as I had predicted moments before I felt sharp splats of ice water hit my face and shoulders.
It felt more refreshing than anything else. Elena wouldn't still be at the boarding house, she wasn't someone to outstay her welcome anywhere. (Not that I or Damon would have a problem with her staying there... But that was beside the point) Elena would be at home, I was sure of it. And if by the time I got there Elena was asleep, then I'd check on her for a few minutes and speak to her first thing in the morning. She deserved some time to sleep. But my instincts told me she would be awake. It'd been a while since we'd just held each other.
That was something I'd never shared with any other woman; no-one I'd ever dated before Elena and certainly not Katherine. Mine and Katherine's relationship had consisted of passion, sex and blood. Despite my relationship with Elena being fairly passionate, for me it had never been and would never be about her blood. Yes, her blood more than appealed to me, but I could never use her like that; I was in love with her. Katherine was a vindictive vixen who knew what she wanted and wouldn't let anything stand in her way upon getting it.
Right now, I hated Katherine as much as I wanted to hate Damon. (That was one thing we shared in common at least) But Elena, (tossing aside her looks) she was nothing like Katherine and she never would be; that's what drew me to her the most. Of course, I'd been instantly fascinated by the mirrored beauty of the vampire I'd known from so long ago, but it went deeper than that for Elena and I. But the deeper I fell, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, the more I could feel her falling too. However, not necessarily for me.
From the very moment Damon had set eyes upon Elena he had wanted her. And for a long time, that's all I thought it was. Want. But, seeing their relationship with one another bloom and develop, I could see he wasn't just doing it to piss me off. And truth be told, that worried me. Finally, I slowed my footing, glancing up at Elena's house. I pushed all negative thoughts aside and swallowed hard. I was simply visiting my girlfriend, I was doing nothing wrong. It was selfish of me, but I needed to know; and I needed to know now.
EPOV
Everything inside of me flinched away from the sudden idea in my head, But I wasn't a coward. If something wanted me, I was going to face it head on. I inhaled a sharp breath of air before snapping my diary shut and shoving it into its usual hidden place underneath the mattress of my bed. I tossed my covers aside and pulled myself up from the bed. I shot a quick glance at my curtain-covered window and slowly but surely, made my way over to it.
Stefan would kill me for taking such a chance like this, but if it was a vampire at the window, I'd be in no real harm – for of course, they needed to be invited in. I clung on to that knowledge as my fingers peeled back the curtains and drew them open. At first, I thought I'd missed something so I squinted. But I couldn't see anything. Frowning, I placed my shaky hands onto the window frame; with a harsh inhale of air I wrenched it open. The bitter night wind hit me instantly and I shivered violently. And not even a second later, the cause of the knocking made itself known.
If he hadn't have placed his hand firmly over my mouth the second I'd saw him, I knew my scream would've woke the entire house up. When he was sure I'd gotten over the shock of seeing him perched outside of my bedroom window, he withdrew his hand. With wide eyes, I gasped.
"Stefan?"
I saw him smile and I frowned, embarrassed by how fast my heart was still beating from the sudden shock of seeing him there.
"What are you doing here at..." I stole a glance at the clock in my bedroom and then flashed my eyes back top Stefan "At past 2am at night? And do you think you could've made a noise or something? You scared the living daylights out of me!"
Stefan's frown suddenly faded and he placed his soft hand upon mine as he replied.
"I'm sorry love, I just wanted to check on you, you know I didn't mean to scare you," his brown eyes looked so truly sorry, it made my heart hurt to think I was mad at him for something as silly as this.
You'd think I'd be used to this, having a vampire as a boyfriend; but I guess being woken up in the middle of the night because your vampire love's tapping on your window is something that is kinda' hard to get used to. I smiled at him and cocked my head to the side a little.
"It's okay. I was just being stupid and scared," I shrugged, feeling really embarrassed.
Stefan's hand reached for my cheek and I couldn't help but lean my face into his open palm – it was so smooth and familiar. He chuckled and shook his head.
"Oh, little lovely love how I love it when you blush," he whispered, which only made my cheeks radiate even darker.
And then, wrecking the moment – I shivered. He smiled and looked past me before speaking.
"Do you mind if I come in? Only, the cold night breeze doesn't seem to be being too kind to you and though you might think being a creature of the night means I prefer it, I'd much rather be in there with you."
I loved it when he spoke from a different time – it made me realise how much I adored him. Of course, I nodded and almost pulled him over the window frame. Soon, we were both lying in my bed; his jacket was draped across my dresser chair and shoes somewhere on the floor next to my bed. I looked up at him, to see him looking at me. I blushed, again.
"Stay with me tonight, Stefan?" I hadn't meant to sound so vulnerable.
Stefan's smile did funny things to my inside that almost made me melt in his strong, secure arms.
"Why, I wouldn't have it any other way."
And with that, I nuzzled my face into the gap in between his shoulder blade and neck. I exhaled softly and closed my eyes. This was how it should be, this homely and peaceful. Stefan's scent was so welcome and familiar, I was sure I drifted off a lot quicker than usual; but there was a part of me that yearned for another scent to fill up my nostrils and for another set of arms to be holding me so closely to him. And as much I hated to admit it, Damon Salvatore never left my head once that night.
Author's note: Elena, Elena... Anyone else who thinks she needs to make her mind up over the two brothers? :L Well, hope you enjoyed that and ofc, reviews are always welcome.
Jackie xxx