AN: I would like to go on record saying Lin was a female turian mercenary with red tattoos long before I ever knew who Nyreen Kandros was.

You'd think the fact I'm made up of more metal than flesh now would mean it's harder for me to get drunk, Shepard thought grumpily. She managed to roll up onto her knees, bracing a hand against the alley wall as another wave of dizziness overcame her. The new piercings in her earlobes throbbed unmercifully in time with her head. This had only happened when she got that one drink from Afterlife. That batarian bartender must have given her the really bad stuff, the four eyed bastard.

"Shepard?"

Well to hell with him. Fuck him. She'd downed ryncol when she was properly flesh and blood and lived to tell the tale, goddammit. Granted, she had no idea how she'd managed to survive ryncol and she was never, ever, ever going to try it again, but that wasn't the point. She wasn't going to be taken down by some jumped up batarian's cheap swill, no fucking way.

"Shepard? Arian? What the hell?"

Turians had such nice voices. She'd always thought that. If caught completely off guard, she might be willing to admit there were times Garrus' voice did wonderfully bad things to her libido. She wouldn't say that when he was around even though he was fun to embarrass.

"Shepard!"

Rough hands hauled her to her feet. That wasn't Garrus' voice, it was female…and she knew that voice. Shepard blinked blearily up at the figure holding her up, taking in the dark red tattoos over a bronze carapace. "Lin?" She squinted until her face became less blurry. Yep, it was Lin all right. "Oh. Hey, Lin. I'm alive."

"Just barely." The mercenary narrowed dark eyes at her. "I saw you drink a krogan under the table once, what the hell did you drink to get you in this state?"

"Dunno…bastard batarian gave me something…."

"Batarian? In Afterlife?" Lin's voice rose sharply.

"Yeh…"

"Was it Forvan? Shepard?" Lin dragged her fully upright and shoved her against the wall, getting right in her face. "Shepard! Answer me, damn it!"

"Forvan? Yeah, that was him…"

Lin swore and drew back. Before Shepard even realized what she was doing, the turian rammed a fist into the center of her stomach. Hard.

Shepard slammed back into the wall and bent over, retching, automatically trying to call her biotics, but unable to think straight. Her only clear thought was shock that she could have pissed Lin off that much and then her entire system revolted and she vomited onto the ground. Lin had stepped back so she wasn't splashed and was watching her grimly.

Shepard heaved again until she was certain her stomach itself was just going to flow right out of her mouth. She knelt, panting, her face damp with sweat, and glared up at Lin. Oddly enough, her vision seemed clearer. "You think just because I'm drunk I won't kick your ass for that?"

"You're not drunk, Shepard. You've been poisoned," Lin said.

It took a moment for that to register and Shepard blinked up at her owlishly. "Poisoned?"

"That batarian poisoned your drink. One of my men lost a buddy the same way a few weeks ago."

"What the hell for?"

"You're asking me? Maybe he thinks its fun. Maybe because people let him get away with it." Lin came forward and helped her to her feet again, letting her lean against the wall. "I never thought you would have fallen for that shit…" Her voice softened a bit and Shepard looked up at her. Lin shook her head slowly. "Witch girl…you are alive…"

It had been a long time since she'd heard that nickname; only Denali and Lin ever used it. "Not the way I would have wanted to meet up with you again, Lin, but thanks…" Shepard swallowed hard and rubbed her temples to soothe her spinning head. "It's like I remember all the bad times on Omega without the instincts I had to survive it the first time around. That's not fair." She rubbed her bruised stomach- Lin could probably knock a vorcha's head off with one punch -shakily pushing herself away from the wall.

When she heard a growl at the end of the alley, she had a crazy thought that it was a varren attack. Lin glanced over her shoulder and rolled her eyes. "Damn, Shepard, you couldn't have left him behind?"

Shepard peered around her as Garrus came stalking up to them. She knew it was Garrus- even without the distinct bandage and the damaged armor, she would have known him anywhere –but the way he glared at Lin like he was barely holding himself back from pulling his gun on her was new. Garrus didn't lose his cool in a fight, not ever.

Of course, that had been before he'd watched an entire team he'd pulled together get slaughtered right in front of him. Which she could have prevented if she hadn't been such a fucking coward.

"What did you do to her?" he snarled, moving around Lin.

"I didn't do anything to her," Lin replied coolly. "She had a run in with Forvan."

That shut Garrus up. He looked over at Shepard. "That batarian bartender? Oh, damn, Shepard, I'm sorry. I should have warned you."

"I should have known better than to take a drink on the house from a batarian," Shepard replied. She didn't want him blaming himself for anything else. That thought brought her back to the message she'd received from Nalah Butler and reason she'd sought out a drink in the first place. She pulled her thoughts away quickly. Her limbs felt weak and she would need to see Dr. Chakwas when she got back to the ship, but for the moment she straightened herself up determinedly.

"Humans aren't popular on Omega and so far he hasn't poisoned any other species. That's probably why Aria hasn't bothered to get rid of him. She finds it amusing, you can bet," Lin commented.

"Is that so?" Now that she was semi-recovered, her enhanced system working to purge the toxins out of her system, she was skipping right over pissed off into enraged. She was a half mech freak dragged back from the dead into an unfamiliar universe by an organization she despised and yet they were the only ones she could use to get the job done. She couldn't sleep for nightmares, most of them inspired by this hellhole of a place where you could get gutted and left for dead in the street without anyone so much as giving you a glance. A place that had tainted and almost taken the life of one of her closest friends, and he would never be the same for it. And to top it all off, she'd been stupid enough she'd almost allowed herself to die at the hands of a fucking batarian, the same race that had killed her mother and torn her world apart when she'd been thirteen and had set her on the path here to Omega.

It was a simple thing, really, to decide all of it was Forvan's fault.

"Oh, oh, I know that look," Lin said as Shepard pushed away from the wall and started, somewhat unsteadily, back toward Afterlife. She was eyeing Shepard carefully but didn't sound wary. Her tone was, in fact, edging into eagerness, which put Garrus on edge. He'd crossed paths with Lin more than once during his time on Omega. Shepard had spoken of her on the old Normandy and Garrus had guessed he would not like her. He was right. She'd never been a target because while she certainly exploited other people, and with gusto, her targets were generally either people with money or gang members. As Shepard had mentioned, Lin didn't exploit the weak because she found it more fun to exploit the strong and well funded. She walked a very thin line, but she did have a line, which was more than could be said of the gangs. But Lin reveled in mayhem. He'd seen her orchestrate a fight that took up almost an entire floor of Afterlife. Why? Because she said she'd wanted to see what would happen.

Needless to say, the eager way she loped down the alley behind Shepard didn't settle his nerves. He'd seen that look on Shepard's face before too, but it had been aimed at an enemy.

How is he not an enemy? That cold voice in his head said. He just tried to kill her. That thought made anger rise up in him, but it wasn't quite enough to rid him of the stab of unease. Something about all of it was off, had been off ever since he'd woken up. Shepard had changed, but he was hard pressed to describe exactly how she had changed. It was little things she said or gestures she made. It was like hearing a song you knew by heart but there was one off key note somewhere in the background that kept jarring your ears at odd moments.

"I'm getting her back to the ship," he growled as he caught up with them. Shepard was much steadier now, but that didn't make him feel any better. She was striding ahead of them, locked onto Afterlife like a missile.

"I wouldn't advise getting in between her and Forvan right now," Lin said carelessly, her eyes gleaming with malicious amusement that Garrus didn't like at all. He ignored her and moved to try and catch up with Shepard. Lin shook her head. "I'm dead serious, Vakarian. She'll get it out of her system and Afterlife will be somewhat safer, what's the bad part? Forvan deserves it. I'm surprised you didn't take him out yourself."

He didn't have time to reply because they were at Afterlife. Shepard paused long enough to let them catch up and moved through the doors. Aria, perhaps because Shepard had taken the gangs down a peg and alerted her to the conspiracy against her as well, had obviously spoken to her people because no one tried to stop them as Shepard ignored the line and went in through one of the doors. The elcor bouncer didn't even spare her more than a glance before turning to deal with irate people trying to get in.

By the time they caught up with Shepard again, she was at the bar. Forvan was still behind it and even as Garrus watched, the idiot poured a drink and shoved it at Shepard where she was leaning casually on a barstool. "Have a drink. On the house." Garrus caught the smirk in his voice and the way several other patrons looked at each other and rolled their eyes or snickered at the stupid human who didn't have the brains to figure out her danger. If he'd had any thoughts on stopping Shepard, they vanished there and then.

Shepard smiled, propping an elbow on the bar and settling her chin on her hand, pushing the glass back across toward the batarian with her other hand. "Oh, no, in fact why don't you have it?"

Garrus was watching Forvan and saw the minute twitch of angry surprise before he covered it. "No drinking on duty, thanks anyway."

"I insist," Shepard said, her voice dropping into a purr. She lifted a leg and drew a small knife out of a slot in the back of her boot. Not a combat knife; one of the small, thin ones. A stiletto, Garrus recalled. Shepard always kept a couple hidden in her boot or sleeves just in case. He kept a knife or two on him all the time for the exact same reason. You could never have enough weapons. That was so ingrained into the turian mindset it was practically instinct. Shepard started cleaning under her nails with the tip of the blade. Now, Forvan was uneasy, and so were several other patrons. "Come now, if this isn't your particular…ah, poison…I'm sure you can find another. Apparently you have several back there, isn't that right?"

She pitched her voice enough even patrons who had not been paying attention were listening now. It was apparent some of them had not been aware of Forvan's habit because some of them were staring at him suspiciously. Shepard ignored them, studying her nails casually and gesturing with the knife. "Drink up, now."

"Look, human…" Forvan started to growl. Garrus saw the way he shifted ever so slightly to make it easier to slide his hand down to the pistol at his belt. He went for his own gun but before either he or the batarian could move, there was a buzz of dark energy and the knife was suddenly hovering mere centimeters away from Forvan's right upper eye. The bartender froze, all four eyes wide. Shepard was leaning against the bar again, and there wasn't a hint of a smile on her face or in her eyes now. "Lin, would you kindly take that pistol off him? He won't be needing it."

Lin chortled and knelt on one of the barstools, stretching an arm out and grabbing the pistol. She handed to Shepard, who pointed it at Forvan. A couple of batarians among the patrons moved forward as if to interfere and Lin flicked a claw at them in warning, shaking her head. Garrus only gave them a glance, moving so he was at Shepard's back, a gun out and at his side, sweeping the crowd with a warning look. Besides the batarians, who backed off, it was obvious no one else was going to come to Forvan's aid. They only had to take one look at Shepard's face to realize even if they got past Garrus, they didn't want to deal with her.

There were always other bartenders.

Shepard laid the gun on the bar long enough to withdraw a cigarette case and light one, still holding the knife without any apparent effort. When Forvan twitched, the knife jerked with him, making him freeze again. She held the cigarette in one hand and picked the pistol back up with the other.

Of the four biotics that had been on the first Normandy, Shepard had been the weakest power-wise. She couldn't do the kinds of things Kaidan could and certainly she wasn't as adept with them as Liara, but she was remarkably precise with her biotics. She couldn't create a singularity but Garrus had seen her flick a knife across a room and bury it in an enemy's chest without laying a finger on it. Garrus didn't have any doubt she could inch that blade in until it took Forvan's eye out.

The only sound around the bar was the pounding of Afterlife's music and the sounds of people on other levels, oblivious to the drama unfolding below. Shepard studied Forvan, blowing out a stream of smoke. She gestured with the cigarette. "All right, then. You don't have to drink. Just decide: top or bottom?"

"What?" Forvan glanced at her, struggling to hide his fear. He shot a desperate glance around but came to the same conclusion Garrus had: no one was going to help him.

"I'm going to take two of your eyes, Forvan," Shepard said, her voice matter-of-fact. "And then maybe I'll heat up the knife and use it to cauterize your eye sockets. Would that make you equivalent to a human?"

The batarian looked at her with horror and she gave him a lazy smile. "Shall I take the top or the bottom ones? I can also take one of each, if you prefer."

For batarians, who marked themselves superior over the rest of the two eyed races of the galaxy, that was an exquisitely cruel choice. Their entire language was built around the eyes, it was what made it so hard for other races to truly deal with batarians, even out here in the Terminus Systems.

"No…" Forvan said, his voice hoarse.

Shepard cocked her head and pushed the poisoned drink toward him. The crowd looked from her to Forvan now, almost as mesmerized as Garrus. Shepard's gray eyes were cold and hard, tunnels into the steel trap of a mind behind them. Razor edged charisma, Garrus thought dimly. That was what Kaidan called it once. It was that sheer, unrelenting force of her personality that drew people to her, made them believe in her even in the craziest of situations…or scared the hell out of enemies trying to face her down.

Forvan moved, lashing out with a hand. What he was trying to do, Garrus didn't know, but it didn't matter. Shepard dropped the cigarette and caught his wrist, yanking him forward. She grabbed the knife out of the air and rammed the fist wrapped around the handle into his throat hard enough he gagged.

Shepard caught his chin as he stumbled back and stabbed the blade into his right upper eye.

Forvan could only let out a thin wail as she carved it out of the socket with such sickening ease, Garrus had a flash of certainty it wasn't the first time she'd done it. It came free with a wet pop, glistening on the end of the blade. She slammed the batarian's head onto the bar with a crack, hurrying him along with another buzz of dark energy, and flicked the eye off the end of the knife to the floor casually. The crowd actually surged back to get away from it and there were more than a few pale faces and wide eyes among them now. Even Lin, who was still standing between her and the crowd in case anyone got it in their heads to interfere, was unnaturally solemn. But she didn't look surprised, which somehow made it worse.

Forvan moaned, blood bubbling past his lips and dribbling down his face from the eye socket. Shepard tapped the knife beneath his left upper eye, and then pushed the glass toward him. This time, he took hold of it and brought it to his mouth almost mechanically, his remaining eyes glassy with shock. It took him some effort to swallow with his damaged throat but he managed it. Probably just as well. If he spilled any, Shepard probably would have simply poured more into his mouth until he swallowed enough to kill him.

It didn't take long. He swayed, swallowing convulsively. More blood spat from his mouth and he collapsed behind the bar, his body starting to quake. Shepard peered over and watched him. From the moment she'd grabbed him, her face and eyes had not changed expression at all and they didn't change now either. She watched him die without a hint of real interest, using a bar napkin to clean her knife off. The crowd let out a breath, almost a sigh. Apparently certain he was dead now, Shepard swung off the bar and onto the floor, leaning down to tuck her knife back into her boot.

The crowd was already starting to scatter. There were a few mutters about how they had to go all the way across the room until they cleaned up the mess and got a new bartender there, but no one made a move against Shepard, shifting to allow her to pass as she walked out. Lin smirked at the bar and followed, strolling out with an air of a woman who was thoroughly satisfied with the night's entertainment.

Garrus followed a bit behind to give himself time to reorganize his thoughts, holstering his pistol, his eyes on Shepard's back. He didn't know this woman. Shepard was hell to piss off, but he would never have marked her as cruel, someone who got enjoyment out of pain.

"Nice to know the Witch hasn't lost her touch," Lin commented.

Shepard glanced back to her and her eyes met Garrus' for a brief moment. Whatever she saw there made the coldness vanish from hers. She visibly flinched and looked away quickly, hunching her shoulders.

"I have to get back to my ship, but I'm glad you're back, Arian. Message me the details when you get the chance, eh? I bet it's a hell of a story."

"You could say that," Shepard muttered. She kept walking, giving a little wave over her shoulder.

For some reason, Lin's tone of voice and the way she nodded irked Garrus, finally making him stir. He glared at Lin as she started to turn away. Before he could speak, she paused and nailed him with a cool, neutral look. "I'll make you a deal, Archangel, you keep your mouth shut and in return, I won't let Shepard in on what your behavior would mean if she was a turian."

For the second time that night, she managed to take him aback with a few words. He felt a flush creep up his neck as what she was implying became clear. Lin snorted and turned away, tossing over her shoulder: "You might actually be her type if you learn to loosen up a little."

It was a few days before Shepard sought Garrus out again. In truth, he wasn't sorry she didn't speak to him. He was still rocked by the changes in her and wasn't quite sure what to think about it. Shepard seemed more subdued as they left Omega, absorbing herself completely in the details of the mission. They were, he learned, heading to the prison ship known as Purgatory to pick up yet another potential squad mate. Why they were going for someone in a prison like that was a mystery to Garrus until Kasumi Goto had shown him the dossier. A hugely powerful human biotic. In a prison. Well, then.

He glanced over his shoulder as the doors swished open. Shepard moved up to him. "Hey, Garrus. Got a moment?"

He didn't look up, finding himself strangely jumpy at being alone with her. "Can it wait? I'm in the middle of some calibrations." Which was true enough, and a fully legitimate excuse.

"Actually, this is kind of about that."

That got his attention. He finally looked at her. She had moved away and was sitting on a crate, looking up at him, maybe sensing he wanted some distance. She gestured toward the console. "I was going over everything on the ship. It's got good systems, but there's a few things I want upgraded before we take the Collectors on. Including the guns. You think you can look into that for me?"

Now this was something he knew exactly how to deal with. "I'll scout around and see what I can find. Was that what you and Lawson were…uh…discussing?" He'd learned pretty quick that Miranda Lawson was not going to be his favorite person on the ship. Talk about having a stick up your ass.

"You mean arguing. No, she made some noise about funds and such, but between what funds Cerberus has for us and what we can pull in on the side, we should be able to upgrade everything I want upgraded without too much trouble."

"You never had a problem doing it before."

"Yeah, I wonder if Saren ever realized how much he funded our ship and munitions upgrades back on the old Normandy between foraging and stealing from his men and his bases."

"Stealing from your enemies is a time honored tradition across species, Commander. Just ask Tarak." He didn't think about it, wincing when he brought it up, his hand moving to brush the edge of his bandage. With the doses of antibiotics and painkillers Dr. Chakwas was giving him, the pain was reduced to a low throb most of the time, but it was still enough to be a bad reminder.

"Used the gangs' own money to fund attacks on them, did you?" Shepard said.

"We weren't out to get rich, but yes."

"How delightful." She meant it too, the tone of her voice approving.

Garrus relaxed just a bit. This was his commander. If she wasn't going to bring up what had happened on Omega, he was more than willing to leave it silent between them for the moment. Maybe forever.

"Why'd you go to that hellhole, Garrus?" She was looking up at him again, her expression serious now.

He looked over at her. "Because it's filled with criminals nobody else can touch, and no red tape to slow me down. People needed something to believe in. Someone to stand up to the local thugs."

"Obviously enough people to form a squad agreed with you."

"You know how it works, Shepard. Show people you can get the job done and they join up. You know Omega. It's full of thugs kicking the helpless. I formed my team to kick back." He gripped the side of the console, staring down at it, unable to look at her while he was talking about them. But once he'd started, he didn't seem able to stop. Shepard did that to him. She always had. He'd spoken more freely to her than he had with anyone he'd ever known. "Twelve of us, including me. Former military operatives. C-sec agents. Mercs who wanted to atone. Security consultants tired of playing by the rules. Had a salarian explosives expert I'm pretty sure was a former Special Tasks Group agent."

He'd glanced over at her and so caught the way she stared at him, blinking for a moment, an odd look on her face. "STG like Mordin and those guys…on Virmire. That lieutenant that rigged the bomb…"

She sounded so confused. "He was a captain, actually. Captain Kirrahe."

"Yes." Shepard rubbed her temples, closing her eyes for a moment. She took a deep breath. "I…I'm sorry, Garrus. There's still these little chunks of memory here and there that are missing until someone brings it up. So, you didn't have just turians on the squad, I take it?" She spoke in a rush as if to cut off any questions.

He studied her, troubled, but let it go. "Yes. We were a mixed group. My tech expert was a batarian, believe it or not. Not the friendliest guy, but he could hack any system ever built."

"You guys started out hitting their supply lines and deliveries? In between going after the leaders in their homes, of course."

"That was later when we had better resources. First we got under their skin, disrupted activities and hit shipments. Made them angry."

"I did notice."

"Well, yes, all three gangs banded together to take me down. My manager at C-sec would be proud."

"I know I was."

That managed to get a bit of a smile from him. "No civilian casualties. That was the rule. You should have seen some of those gang members, Shepard. I would have whacked a squad member upside the head for charging blindly into a kill zone the way some of them did. So would you. And they did it over and over. Crossfire and snipers, clean and surgical. They never stood a chance. It was giving the violence back to the gangs in a way they'd thought no one else would be able to and the fact it was just a group of twelve pissed the gangs off even more. They were good men. I gave them hope." He clung to that truth, even through the pain.

"Considering how little of that there is in Omega, that's something of a miracle in and of itself," Shepard said quietly.

He appreciated that, even if he didn't deserve it. "But now they're dead."

She leaned back against the wall, not asking directly but waiting to see if he was going to tell her. Since everything else was out, he figured he might as well. "It was my own damn fault. One of my people betrayed me. A turian named Sidonis. He drew me away before the mercs attacked, asked for my help on a job, but when I got there, I couldn't find him. By the time I got back to the hideout, the mercs had killed all but two of my squad. And they didn't last long."

Her breath came out in a rush. "Ah, Garrus…"

His hands tightened into fists. "Everyone except me is dead because of him. And because I didn't see it coming." That list of names, in his head and carved into his visor. He still hadn't managed to pick up Sidonis' trail. But he would.

He realized Shepard had fallen silent and turned to look at her. Her eyes were closed, her brows drawn together in an expression Garrus would have called pain. She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. When she finally spoke, her voice was low: "I could have come for you sooner. I should have come for you sooner. We were out there for weeks doing other stuff because I wasn't ready to go back there. I didn't want to face Omega again."

He knew that berating tone she was aiming at herself all too well, he'd been using it enough lately. There was a tremor in her voice he'd never heard before. "Shepard…"

"If we were there, we could have helped you. I'm so sorry, Garrus."

"It's not your fault, Shepard. Although you probably would have taken one look at Sidonis and known he was a traitor, since I sure as hell didn't figure it out."

"If you're to blame for it, so am I." She opened her eyes and looked at him. "And you are blaming yourself, Vakarian. Not just for Sidonis, for all of it. I know you too well." Her gaze softened. She looked tired and haunted, another feeling he could understand perfectly. "You couldn't have known."

"I should have."

"Garrus." She rose to her feet, moving forward until she was only a couple feet away. "There is no way you could have known."

Her tone was firm, unyielding. Absolutely certain. Once, he would have believed her without a shadow of a doubt. But so much, including both of them, had changed. He didn't believe it, no matter how much he wanted to. When that call from Sidonis had come, he hadn't doubted for a second it was genuine. He hadn't had a clue right up until that horrible moment when he figured out what must have happened that Sidonis was capable of betraying them like that. He couldn't believe there had been no sign he could have picked up on. Maybe she might have been able to help if she'd gotten there sooner, but that didn't change the fact it was his negligence that allowed it to happen in the first place.

He started to turn away and Shepard caught his arm gently. "Shattered, Garrus. That's what that pain is. It doesn't let you think clearly. Something like this breaks you apart. You pull yourself back together eventually, but you're never quite the same. Never quite…whole. But you'll live with it. And you'll see."

That was the most melodramatic thing he'd ever heard her say and it fit so perfectly with how he felt, it shook him. He met her gaze for the first time since they'd come back to the ship. "And no place in the galaxy breaks you better than Omega," she added.

He had to step back. Not because he didn't understand her, but because he understood her entirely too well in that moment. There was an entire history in her eyes, her voice. The rage, the pain, it echoed from her to him and back again, resonating.

Just thinking about Sidonis gave him a focus for all of that in him and in that moment, he understood perfectly why she had focused on Forvan.

He pulled free of her grasp gently and turned back to the console. "Thanks for coming by, Shepard. I've got some things to take care of."

Shepard let him go. "Just think about it. Please?"

Garrus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn't sure if he was more relieved or disappointed when she left without another word.