Original air date: April 19, 2005
Cold Open: "Randy Marsh and the 'Hard Eight' Questions" (with Randy Marsh, Funny Cide, and the cast of the Pokémon Science Theater)
Song performed: "One"- Metallica (Shadow Sirens)
Summary: After watching the Cold Open with Kyle, Carrie Burrell learns from him that Eric seeks to violate a ban she had placed on him for the 'Hard Eight' cliffhanger 2 days ago. To counter, Carrie gives Kyle a new show designed to replace "Area Man". On the "Area Man" set we get the opening remarks with Eric and Goombella, and Randy Marsh is introduced to do "One", but instead we get Ami Onuki from "Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi". She and Yumi Yoshimuya had replaced Randy because of the ban, and Goombella is blamed. Ami then tries to sing, but Eric makes her leave in tears. Unfortunately for him, Yumi seeks to avenge her, and leaves a grateful Ami on their tour bus. As for Kyle, his new show "I Love Kyle" (a show like I Love Lucy) is ready to be showed from Studio 3 on the DFTV lots, with Bebe Stevans as his female co-star. Sadly, the 1st episode lasts only 20 seconds, as does the 2nd episode on a beach.
Back with Eric, he meets Yumi, who the audience loves. Her guitar skills kill Kenny, and attacks Randy Marsh. Impressed, Eric invites her for some prank calls, but one of them is on Ami. With Kyle, the episodes on his show continue to be only seconds long, as the 3rd is the famous "Dead Parrot" sketch, and the 4th is the stomping on grapes routine with his brother Ike.
On "Area Man", Eric tries to do education per FCC rules, but Ami re-enters. Ami tries to do a puppet tap-dance show, but Eric is "sick on a molecular level" and tries to throw her out again. In response, Ami says she'll do a… Murder! Eric: "That sounds freaking awesome"! And after a 30-second "I Love Kyle" about a game show, Ami is ready to murder someone. That someone is a Caterpie named "Felix", who Ami blows up. The audience loves it, but Eric doesn't. A news report follows from Roger Horton about the utter lack of protest over the murder, but just then we do get a protest about the lack of outcry. Mr. Callahan the Weatherman then links to a new "I Love Kyle": It's a parody of "The Super Milk-Chan Show" with Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga as Hanage, but again it's only seconds long.
On the PuffyAmiYumi bus, Ami is showering when Eric interrupts to let her know about the popular Caterpie murder. To him it was the 2nd best thing ever, and that upsets Ami, who wants to be #1. She leaves, and Vivian eats the toilet seat in the bathroom. With Kyle and Carrie, they seek to best "Area Man" with the last 3 episodes of "I Love Kyle". But the first two lasts only around 1 minute; one of them involves a skill mask, and another involves a multi-vitamin that causes anal-leaking.
As for Ami, she sings a song about being number 2 and decides to kill herself "tomorrow night at 9, y'all!" When Eric hears that Ami's suicide will be nationally televised on his show, he gets excited while a panicked Yumi looks for Ami. Carrie also panics about "Area Man" and decides with Kyle to extend the last episode of "I Love Kyle" to bury Ami's special. And to help with that, Bebe has been replaced with Beldam and Marilyn.
Back on the bus, Ami tells Yumi that "I'll be fine" and leaves to prepare. A nervous Yumi then watches "I Love Kyle", in which Kyle and Marilyn do the famous "wrapping chocolates" bit from I Love Lucy. But when Marilyn cries, the "Ami Suicide Spectacular" begins. Ami gets dipped into a 'suicide batter' containing 12 secret herbs and spices and then gets dumped into a 380-degree vat of boiling oil, to the roar of the crowd. Later at the hospital, Yumi visits Ami, and Eric tells her that "you did the number 1 thing ever!" But when Carrie enters, we see that Eric had turned Ami into a… "Zero" and he tells us "we'll never see her again"! The Shadow Sirens play "One" to end the show.