CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"Are you sure you're okay?" Chloe asked, turning to face her friend properly as she pushed the door open to her apartment, her eyes quickly searching her face for any sign of unease. "You definitely look a lot less shaken than you did when I arrived at the coffee shop but from what Jesse told me, Luke's appearance didn't go down so well?"

Beca shook her head, taking a seat on Chloe's sofa, kicking her shoes off as she thought out loud, "I'll be okay, really," she said, "I guess it just…stung to hear him tell me to be professional after everything that happened."

Chloe nodded in understanding, seating herself beside her as she reached over to place her hand on top of Beca's, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "I've said it before and I'll say it again: Luke's a complete jerk and you deserve so much better."

"I know," Beca replied slowly, choosing her words carefully as she tried to express what she was feeling, a whole myriad of emotions running through her head, "I know I should hate him for what he did, I do…but I can't. Not properly, anyway. There's always a tiny part of me that wants to, I don't know, forgive him? I know that makes me an idiot but I...I can't help it."

Chloe shook her head. "No, of course it doesn't," she said, "Luke was such a massive part of your life – I mean, you guys pretty much dated throughout college and afterwards – so it's completely normal to feel like that, especially when he keeps reappearing uninvited?"

Beca nodded, leaning back into the sofa as she lost herself in her own thoughts again. She didn't know why but something was stopping her from telling Chloe the other reason why she had been so shaken by Luke's visit; the fact that after weeks and months of wishing for it, she had finally heard Luke admit that 'he wanted to see her' and now that she had gotten what she had wanted so desperately, she didn't feel any sense of satisfaction at all. Instead, she just felt…empty and it was unsettling.

"What did you want to talk to me about earlier?" Beca said, moments later, turning towards the redhead, giving her a slightly apologetic smile, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep talking about Luke."

"Don't apologise," Chloe cut in quickly, with an adamant shake of her head, "Never apologise for that."

Beca gave her a grateful smile before nodding at her to continue and Chloe cocked her head to the side thoughtfully, her eyes scanning Beca's face, before slowly opening her mouth to speak again, "I just wanted to make sure that you weren't actually mad at Jesse for earlier...but clearly you're not so it's fine. It's nothing."

Beca blinked, raising her eyebrows at her friend, taken by surprise, all thoughts of Luke temporarily pushed aside, "You know about the texting?"

Chloe let out a soft laugh in response, shaking her head in amusement, "It's Jess, of course I know. He's not exactly the most subtle person, is he?" Beca smiled at that because she guessed it was true; after all, he had sent her a million and one texts in the space of an hour [okay, maybe that was a slight exaggeration but…whatever] "It's just that he felt awful about the whole thing and I thought I'd make sure you weren't holding a grudge because if you were, I'm sure we'd all be hearing him moan about it for days."

"Don't worry, I'm not mad at him," Beca replied slowly. "He's been really good to me, he handled the whole Luke situation really well?" she said, biting her lip as she remembered how he had stood solidly beside her through it all, no questions asked, and the firm tone he had used as he had ordered Luke to leave, before noticing the way Chloe was staring at her, reaching up to give her a light shove, "Chloe, stop looking at me like that. For the last time, there is absolutely nothing going on, we're just friends."

"I wasn't going to say anything!" Chloe said defensively, putting her hands up in surrender before fixing her gaze on Beca again, her expression suddenly serious, "Have you told him? About Luke, I mean."

Beca shook her head. "No, I haven't told him anything," she replied, "It's not that I don't trust him or anything like that, I just…can't. You're the only person I've ever told and I…I don't know where I'd even start. I want to keep him out of it anyway, it's not fair to drag him into all my mess."

Chloe pursed her lips thoughtfully, looking like she wanted to say something on the matter but instead, she just nodded slowly before changing the subject in an attempt to lighten the mood. Although Beca couldn't see it yet, Jesse was really good for her and vice versa and Chloe was confident things would work themselves out eventually. It was inevitable.

For once in her life, Beca was early and she had absolutely no idea what to do with herself. She hadn't planned on being early - far from it - but it was Sunday and she had been free all morning, mindlessly walking around her apartment as she tried – and failed – to force herself to sit down and get some work done. In the end, she had given up, putting on her shoes and making her way towards Jesse's apartment before she really knew what she was doing.

Now that she was actually here though, she couldn't quite bring herself to knock; instead, she had been standing outside his door for the past ten minutes, trying to look as casual as possible to the people walking past as her mind worked in overdrive. She just…didn't know what to expect and that put her on edge; after all, apart from that one time when he had dropped off Chloe's apology coffee at the studio [but she figured that didn't even count, considering that they weren't even friends then], she had never seen him outside the coffee shop. She just hoped that being away from the neutral ground of the coffee shop wouldn't make things weird because, well, although she would never admit it to his face [because god, the dork had a huge ego already], she...she liked having him around; she liked being able to tease him and get teased right back, she even liked his overenthusiasm [sometimes] but most of all, she liked the way he had defended her from Luke without even knowing what was going on. It was...nice.

With a sigh, she steeled herself, raising her hand to knock on the door twice, hoping that he was one, actually home at the moment and two, that she hadn't come at a bad time for him.

"Beca, hey!" Jesse greeted cheerfully, giving her a slightly crooked grin as he pulled the door open fully. She gave him a small smile in response before taking in his wet hair, shooting him an apologetic look as she realised that, yep, she had definitely come at a bad time.

"Hey, dork. Sorry, I know I'm early but…" she trailed off as her eyes glanced down momentarily and she noticed the very unbuttoned state of his shirt, her breath catching slightly as she realised that what Amy and Stacie had alluded to was completely and utterly true.

Oh dear lord.

"Okay, Jesse, are you trying to prove a point or…?" she asked, swallowing hard as her eyes slowly skimmed passed the toned muscles of his chest, resting on the light smattering of hair near the waistband of his jeans before shaking her head hard as she realised what she was doing, guiltily dragging her gaze quickly back up to his face, hoping he hadn't noticed.

Jesus Christ, what the hell was wrong with her? It wasn't like she hadn't seen a shirtless guy before; after all, Luke had the - really annoying - habit of showing off his abs to unsuspecting strangers all the time back in their college days. Get a grip, Beca, it's only Jesse.

As Jesse raised an eyebrow at her in confusion, she sighed, biting her lip as she gestured towards his mid-section and he glanced down, blinking in surprise at what he saw, his hands quickly flying up to the buttons as he hastily started to do them up. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I, uh, I just got out of the shower," he explained, giving her a sheepish grin, one hand raising up to point at his still-damp hair, the other continuing to button his shirt up, "I wasn't expecting you for another hour?"

She nodded once, pointedly keeping her eyes on his face and not allowing them to wander any lower again, especially not when he had just mentioned showering, a groan escaping her lips as he raised his eyebrows at her, a slow smug smile crossing over his face, his eyes glinting mischievously at her as he opened his mouth to speak—

"—Don't even think about it, weirdo," she said, holding up a hand to stop him from speaking as she roughly pushed past him, elbowing him in the ribs as she heard him chuckle behind her, sounding way too pleased with himself. Pushing all thoughts of Jesse's half-nakedness to the back of her mind [something that was, to her chagrin, much harder than it sounded], she let her eyes scan the room, registering the numerous movie posters stuck on the walls, the DVD cases lining the shelves and the piano to the right, covered in sheet music, unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the sheer…Jesse-ness of the place.

"Yes, Beca, feel free to come in," Jesse said dryly as he rubbed his ribs – god, she was stronger than she looked – closing the door behind him as he moved to stand beside her. "Are you okay, by the way? Last time I saw you, uh, you know…" he trailed off and she turned to face him, breathing a small sigh of relief as she realised that his shirt was now all buttoned up [because god, she was already having a hard time trying to forget about what was under there…], giving him the smallest of nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, shooting him a smile, trying to end this line of conversation as fast as possible, not wanting to think about Luke, not when she had already spent all of Friday and Saturday dissecting the whole thing with Chloe, "I was just a bit…taken aback by Luke's appearance, that's all."

Jesse frowned a little at her choice of words, his eyes searching her face for a few moments, but eventually, he decided to let it go, a grin slowly making its way back across his face as he turned to the open room, gesturing wildly with his arms, "So, what do you think? I mean, I know it's a bit small but it's pretty amazing, right?"

"Yeah, amazingly dorky," she shot back quickly, immensely grateful for his change of subject, rolling her eyes at his loud gasp of indignation. She took a step forward, her eyes scanning the room again, biting back an amused laugh as she spotted the absolutely gigantic cardboard cut-out of what she was pretty sure was a Star Wars character in the corner, "Oh my god, no way. I can't believe you have one of those—actually, no, what am I saying? Of course I can. This is completely unsurprising."

"You're wrong, I didn't exactly choose to have that here," Jesse replied, leaning against the wall, suddenly looking a little defensive as he explained, "Benji actually gave that to me a couple of weeks ago, he said he wanted me to have it as a, uh, 'token of our friendship'?"

"You're kidding."

"Nope, he pretty much forced it onto me. He's a cool guy though and I didn't exactly want to say no to him? Besides, sure, it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to having a life-sized stormtrooper in my apartment but I can roll with it if it makes him happy." Jesse finished with a shrug as he eyed the obnoxiously large cut-out thoughtfully before sliding his eyes back over to her, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards as he casually added, "Don't pretend like you're not wishing you had one too, Beca. I can see right through you."

"Oh, trust me, that is definitely not what I'm thinking about," she replied, shaking her head adamantly, her eyes still fixed on the stormtrooper, "I don't even know what I would do if I had one of those."

"Well, you better get thinking," Jesse said cryptically and Beca shot her head up to stare at him in confusion, watching warily as he leant closer, a grin playing on his lips, "The last I heard, Benji had a matching one of these that he was planning on gifting to you."

She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly as she gaped at him, completely horrified at the implications of his words because Jesus, how the hell was she going to get out of that? Benji was lovely, he really was and Beca didn't want to hurt him but if it meant having to take one of those home with her…

As her mind continued to work frantically, desperately trying to come up with a plausible excuse to give Benji if he tried to present her with a cardboard cut-out of her very own, Jesse suddenly collapsed into laughter beside her, his shoulders shaking and she let out a breath she didn't even know she had been holding as she realised he had been kidding.

"Your face! That was priceless," he exclaimed, doubling over and she grimaced at him, reaching over to hit him on the shoulder, shaking her head at him. "Oh man, I am totally telling Benji that you really, really want one."

"Don't you dare," she said, hitting him again, "I will actually kill you."

Beca groaned as Jesse just grinned at her, straightening up a little as he tugged her in the direction of the cut-out, still laughing uncontrollably. "Come on, Beca, you know you want one—wait, oh my god, is it taller than you?"

She glared at him as he started laughing even harder, hitting him once again in an attempt to get him to stop. "It's life-sized, you idiot," she said, gritting her teeth, roughly pushing his hands away as he tried to position her in front of the cut-out so that he could compare their heights, "Of course it's taller than me."

"I know, it's just a lot taller than you and—" he trailed off, mumbling something inaudible between gasps of hysterics and she rolled her eyes, slowly walking away from him, biting her lip before she did something stupid like – god forbid – laugh in front of him. She had to admit, the whole thing was so Benji that it was sort of funny, plus, Jesse's laughter was so contagious that she couldn't stay mad at him for talking about her height…or rather, her lack of it.

"Aw, come on, you know it's hilarious," she heard him say from behind her and she groaned inwardly as he effortlessly spun her around, his eyes glinting as he noticed her expression. "Ha, I knew it!" he said triumphantly, raising his fist, as he watched the neutral expression she had been trying so hard to maintain break, a smile reluctantly crossing her face. "Don't worry, Beca. If Benji doesn't have another one, I'll personally buy you one for your birthday. Or two. Or three. Or…a whole squad?"

Beca rolled her eyes at him as she shook her head in exasperation, not even bothering to respond, instead, simply biting down on her lip to stop her smile from getting any wider. She would not give him that satisfaction, not when he was still grinning so stupidly at her. After a few seconds of further chuckling from Jesse, she pointedly turned her back on the cardboard stormtrooper, glancing around the room again before slowly walking over to the piano in the corner. He followed, his laughter slowly dying away as he finally regained control over himself again, watching as she gingerly sat herself down on the stool as she eyed the messily scrawled writing on one of the pieces of paper that were strewn all over it, "You play?"

As she got no response, she glanced up to look at him, noticing the overly amused expression on his face and she grimaced because god, what was she thinking? "Sorry, that was a really stupid question," she said quickly, shooting him a glare as he cheerfully started agreeing with her, before returning back to examining the sheet of paper in her hand, trying to make sense of it.

"Move over," Jesse said, a few moments later, nudging her gently with his hip as he moved to sit beside her, tugging the sheet music from her hands and placing it upright on the music rest on the piano. "Want to hear it? It's very much a work in progress so it's a bit rough but I quite like it so far? I mean, obviously you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to but—" he stopped speaking abruptly, clearing his throat, eyeing her a little hesitantly through the corner of his eyes.

"—Hey, no, I want to hear it," Beca said, cutting him off, glancing at him in surprise as she sensed his sudden uncertainty, "Do you not let people listen to your music often?"

"No, it's…it's not that," he said, shaking his head, keeping his eyes trained on the sheet music in front of him as he continued, "It's just that I've been working really hard on this and, well, your opinion matters to me."

She smiled softly at that, giving him a reassuring smile, even though from the way he was staring straight ahead, she wasn't actually sure if he could see it. "I get it," she said finally, "Back in college, I was always making mixes of songs and I knew they were good and all but I still found it hard to muster up the courage to let Luke listen to them and…" she trailed off, suddenly freezing as she was reminded of Luke and the betrayal it had eventually led to and she gripped the edge of the piano seat, abruptly changing the subject with a shake of her head, "Play it for me."

Jesse stared at her, looking like he wasn't quite sure what happened, opening his mouth as if he wanted to say more but as she shook her head at him again, he simply shot her a slightly concerned look before nodding, resting his fingers on the piano keys. Beca watched, fascinated, as his eyes narrowed in concentration as they skimmed the sheet music, his fingers moving rapidly up and down the keyboard as he started playing, a beautifully delicate tune filling the room. She let out a sigh, closing her eyes as she just allowed herself to listen, unable to stop a shiver from passing unwantedly through her body as he abruptly began humming beside her, the melody his voice was carrying complementing the music that his hands were creating perfectly. She had thought his music had been great when it was solely instrumental but when it was accompanied by his voice? It was even better.

"What do you think?" Jesse asked, as he let the music die away, shifting his position on the stool so that he could see her properly, a hopeful look on his face as he waited for her reaction…and although she had wanted to come up a suitably teasing comment in response, she couldn't, not when he was looking at her so imploringly and not when he had been so good.

"It's great, Jesse, really," she replied honestly with a nod of her head, smiling at the way he grinned at her, taking a mock bow. "I don't get it, how are you still working at the coffee shop?" she asked, as soon as he had sat back down again, before hastily backtracking as she noticed the wince that spread across his face at her words, "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean it like that—"

"—No, it's okay, I know what you meant," Jesse replied, cutting her off with a slight shake of his head, as he shrugged, "I don't know. Every time I apply for a job, I get told that I'm either 'not right for the role' or I'm not experienced enough? I don't know whether that's a cryptic way of telling me I'm not good enough or—"

"—They're idiots," she said interrupting, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder as she continued, "You're really good, Jesse."

He shrugged again, giving her a small smile and she bit her lip, unable to find the right words to tell him exactly what she felt about his music and banish his rare show of self-doubt; Beca had never been great at expressing herself through words and this was a prime example of that. As he continued to look at her, his eyes a little wistful and unfocused, she suddenly had a brainwave, rummaging through her pockets, producing her iPod triumphantly. Jesse blinked as he registered her actions, shooting her a look of confusion but she simply shook her head, handing him her headphones as she quickly looked for the track she wanted him to hear.

As she pressed play, she smiled at the way his eyes widened in instant recognition, physically recoiling in surprise. "You put my track on your iPod?" he asked, a grin slowly spreading across his face as he continued to listen to his own composition before turning to her, his eyes locking with hers, filled with an intensity that she had never seen before, "That's…that's incredible, Beca. Thank you."

"It's nothing," she said, a few moments later as she ducked her head, the back of her neck feeling uncomfortably warm from the way he was staring at her and the seriousness of their conversation, "Just…don't give up, okay?"

He nodded at her, still grinning widely before getting up from the stool and bowing at her again before making a big show of offering her his hand and, with a roll of her eyes, she took it, allowing him to pull her up. "Come on, let's go and get this moviecation started," he said with a lopsided grin, bounding off towards the kitchen, seemingly back to normal, and she slowly followed him, rolling her eyes again as she watched him pull out two juice pouches from the fridge. What was his obsession with juice? It was plain weird.

"Dude, you really don't need to do that," she said with a shake of her head as she watched him stick the straw into one of them before handing it to her, "I told you I can open it myself…?"

Jesse simply shrugged, pausing to take a sip from his own juice before reaching his hand out to grip her shoulder, tugging her towards his movie collection on the far side of the living room, rambling on about the various movies that he wanted to show her. She zoned out from what he was saying as he started quoting the dates of the movies, along with all the different awards they had won [seriously, who knew things like that off the top of their head?], choosing instead to focus all her attention on the way his eyes were lit up excitedly, his head bobbing up and down a little, his lips moving at lightning speed and she couldn't help but smile because god, it was infectious.

Jesse was infectious.